Tulips, snowdrops and another Day 1!

[MamaGhina]

New thread as promised. I’ll pop on later to tag everyone as I wanted to get this link on the old thread before it fills up!

Link to the old one for any new joiners:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4877066-its-day-1-anyone-else?page=40

Hi everyone
I hope it's ok if I join you. I'm starting today - day 1. I've been a drinker for about 15 years - and it's getting to the point where drinking a bottle of wine a night is destroying my confidence and making my works so small.
I've read through your posts and you seem like a lovely supportive bunch and I hope I can support you all too.
My drinking is very much to blot out any feelings and wind down in the evening - my eldest has complex learning needs and I have a full on job. At the moment I feel like I'm just existing when I could be enjoying life and tacking things head on.
I've done some long dry stints in the past but always caved to cravings/peer pressure. This time I'm going to be selfish and do this just for me!
Xx

Morning!

Sorry for my long long long silence. I fell off the wagon bigtime with family stresses and today I am back to day 1 and very happy about it. Hope I can come back. Drinking is not worth it.

Nice to see you @VelvetB . We are Day 1 sisters! I drink for similar reasons to you and feel it is affecting my confidence as well.

@VelvetB for yourself is probably the best (and most likely to work) reason. It sounds like you have a stressful life and that wine at the end of the day looks like such a great way to unwind it all. But slowly you will find other things that can trigger the 'it's time to relax and unwind' emotion. For me now it's putting on our fav series and then it's ice cream time around 9pm

@smegley it sounds like you DDs still love you a lot. My mum was/ is an alcoholic. All through school she would get drunk every night. I f**king hated it. Begged her to stop, she wouldn't then she just started buying me drink too. She has never really admitted she had a huge problem just a 'bad habit' a bottle of wine, a few cans of beer or maybe a few measures of spirits (she thought I couldn't see) most night of the week is beyond a little habit.
She had a great paying professional job but would ask me for money come the end of the month when I was at uni. Anyway what I am trying to say is that now neither of us drink we have a fantastic relationship. I always loved her but went LC for a few years because I couldn't deal with her drinking. I suppose until it became a problem for me too I never understood why she wouldn't just stop

@VelvetB welcome. I hope your first day or two have gone well.

@NewLifeHappyLife welcome back - sorry to hear about family stresses but hope all is well.

@smegley are you hanging in there? When I saw you had a 7, 11, 13 and 16 year old I did go "ouch" on your behalf. Teenage years, and 4. I think perhaps you underestimate what you have achieved and the balls you will have juggled to get thus far. I think you have more appointments/assessments this week - good luck and warm wishes with and fkr them

As an aside, the funniest thing is going on here this morning. DH got the lumie iut at the weekend because we both struggle with dark mornings. Last night he switched it to blackbird song once the "sun" comes up. The cats have been transfixed and bonkers at once. It is hilarious. One has jumped over the other and they have been frantically going behind the curtains looking for the birds. Words don't do it justice.

Must crack on B2Bs from 10 to 4.30 interspersed with a leadership team lunch which just wastes time. Will there be wine? Don't care, I won't break at lunchtime and at Work. Network, chat, rhubarb, network!

I hope everyone is having a reasonable week.

Welcome to @VelvetB and welcome back @NewLifeHappyLife - hope you are doing ok.

This gloomy weather is the pits but that Lumie thing sounds hilarious @SpringNotSprung

I am tantalisingly close to 100 days .. day 93 today. Never thought I would see this day.

Morning all, Just going to do a brag about being 5 months sober today. According to my app I have saved just over £1000 and more incredible than that saved 50.5k calories!

Thanks to the cost of living crisis I'm still skint and thanks to CFS I'm still fat, but just a bit less so. 😅 I'm taking it as a milestone win 🏆. I'm not going to celebrate with anything just carry on and maybe do something special to mark ONE year sober.

Does anybody reward themselves for achieving milestones? If so, what do you do?

Well done @Yocal. As the weight co tinges to come off here (25lb) probably some new clothes quite soon. My trousers last week were v v loose as was the dress I wore yesterday.

@Yocal well done! Think how skint you'd be if you had spent that £1k on booze. Personally milestones don't work for me. But plenty of people do. They get themselves a nice piece of jewellery, take a trip they've been meaning to, etc

@SpringNotSprung whoop whoop I know weight loss is not the most important thing (for me) when stopping drinking but it's still nice. I lost loads when I first stopped. Kept it all off until I had DS, now I am nearly back to my drinking weight but it's distributed differently and my face isn't bloated

@Yocal 5 months!!! Many congratulations!!

On the topic of milestones - my mother was a very very heavy smoker for most of her life. Not quite a chain smoker but pretty close to it. She gave up on New Year's day 26 years ago when I was 24. My father (who detested her smoking) insisted that she set up a separate bank account and divert her not-smoking money into that account. Then it was to be for her and no-one else.

At the end of 12 months she bought herself a very extensive emerald and diamond jewellery collection. Which she still has and wears daily. The end of the second year she took herself and my father on a luxury cruise around the South Pacific. Not sure what she did after that as i had well and truly left home (and indeed countries by then) but I know that they started travelling quite a bit.

For me when I stopped earlier back in the thread I set up a new bank account and diverted my not-drinking money into it (only 50% of it though as I was really struggling living payday to payday.). I fell off the wagon before it could make a huge difference but that money is still there and will probably be used for Christmas presents this year. But come January I am planning to keep that up and I hope to be able to take the family on an extra holiday at some point next year. My older DS has autism and learning issues and is obsessed with Paris. I am focusing on a really decent week-long trip to Paris for the 4 of us.

@SpringNotSprung I really hope to lose weight this time around. I have binge eating disorder and drinking exacerbates it. But usually I get disenchanted within days so this time hope to just weigh myself 1st of every month and remind myself that it is all about the long game.

Oh and thanks everyone for welcoming me back. Family stresses have eased a bit but I am going to have to consider how to manage things going forward.

Hi
Hope everyone is doing ok.
I've had to phone the crisis line today.

I'm so glad I did, the nurse was really nice and understanding. She has chased my hospital appointment and I'm due to be seen on 16th Jan. She was really annoyed that I haven't been seen since end of Jan this year ( I'm supposed to be on 3 monthly appointments).
I'm in a cancellations list for a sooner appointment so fingers crossed 🤞

I have a home visit from the alcohol support worker tomorrow so I'm hoping she will have more information for me about the detox appointment etc.

I'll report back once she has been.

Oh wow-well done those on milestones! And welcome to thread joiners. My alcohol place finally phoned today and were patronisingly delighted I had stayed off the booze. I suspect it doesn’t happen that often. I got a hideous tummy bug so have been very unwell the last couple of days. I’m glad I’m not drinking as I know I would once have tried to ‘kill it off’ with wine. The irony is I feel super hungover as I’m so dehydrated! 🤣

Huge congrats @Yocal - what an achievement!

Evening everyone. Welcome @VelvetB

I had a revelation tonight - I always pop for milk/bread (and until this, wine) as part of the after school run. No time for that this week - work is crazy, extra hours to fit in, so I went to Sainsbury’s while hubby did bath time. Revelation because I would never be able to drive after 5pm,but was great to not even think about grabbing the keys, and even after a busy day, I didn't even contemplate the 25% off 6 bottles and instead found myself noting the number of people buying wine and was relieved to no longer feel the 'need' to join them.

I'm day 53 (I think) and I'm finally feeling energised, the house is tidy, I'm getting through my back log of chores and taking pride in my appearance again. It's taken 50 plus days but I guess that's the recovery time after years of excess alcohol consumption.

@smegley, well done for calling crisis services, hope an earlier appointment comes through for you x

A lot of really good updates today. Congrats @Yocal on your 5 months, superb! And amazing @BoilingHotand50something on nearing 100. Some bits seem to rush by but the last few up to 100 inched past incredibly slowly for me.

@NewLifeHappyLife that story re your mother is excellent. What a wonderful perceptive father you had (I think). Even if people really need the money for other things, we always made space for alcohol so really hope people manage to make space for themselves in some other way as well.

I hope things start improving for you @smegley and @Haggisfish3. I am particularly familiar with the “but alcohol kills it off” health plan!

I am heading home after a crappy day at work. Yet again clutching my peppermint tea but thoroughly glad because I am presenting first thing tomorrow. Aaaaargh

@TimesaChangeling good luck with the presenting! I am feeling slightly less death like tonight.

Very best of luck today @TimesaChangeling

Also familiar with the 'alcohol kills it off' plan here. Glad you are feeling slightly better @Haggisfish3 !

Bets of luck @smegley for an earlier appointment.

It's so true what you say @TimesaChangeling ... there was always money for alcohol at the expense of other things.

I slept all the way to 5.25 today. A couple of times i woke up and recalled I had not drunk and felt so happy and proud of myself. One day at a time.

Best wishes to everyone.

Oh my gosh I am pages behind! It has been a really busy fortnight with social things and work. I am back drinking again but nothing out of hand (YET) & reining it in this week after a few nights where the consumption's gone back over a bottle again. Tricky time of year although I feel that's no excuse on reading how amazingly some of you are doing - well done, super chuffed for you! Success stories are truly inspirational. @Yocal @MissSmith80 @BoilingHotand50something kudos!!!

Sorry for those of you who are still struggling. It isn't easy, especially this time of year.

Smegley just take whatever they offer you, I'd be biting their hands off for the medication that reduces cravings, but just make sure you have a plan to try and deal with the anxiety that will likely rear its head without our usual comfort blanket of booze?

@Thepeppapigfanclub please come back! Hope you're alright.
And you too @NewLifeHappyLife x

Wow - reading my own comment there where I casually state that I've had a few nights of drinking over a bottle out of wine but nothing out of hand yet
I mean - that is out of hand - that's the whole point I'm here - I can easily do 50plus units a week but I normalise it, minimise it, excuse it away by good diet and exercise and that others I know drink more. Ugh.

@Steppered yep same here. I come from north of Scotland where drinking massively is just what’s done, all the fucking time, whatever the ‘occasion’. A lot of people up there think I don’t drink much at all. But my friends in England are horrified by how much I drink. I am on day ten now and cannot actually believe it. I feel a lot better in myself and am aware of how not ‘bleuch’ I feel.

Thanks @Haggisfish3 and @NewLifeHappyLife ! All done and all fine. It would have been so much harder without a clear head!

I think the echo chamber point is a really important one. There is some stat or other that actually a big majority of people in the UK drink under the guidelines. So when we look to our circles and think we’re fine and “no one pays attention to those guidelines” that’s really not true, but it is a convenient story we tell ourselves.

Well done on 10 days @Haggisfish3, that’s something to be v proud of.

Work Christmas party tomorrow. I think I am relieved not to be drinking. I feel like a permanently exhausted pigeon as it is!

Thank you! I emphasise that echo chamber point to the kids I teach (ironically I teach pshe and good lifestyle choices..😳)-whatever you and your group do, you think of as ‘usual’ especially when it comes to the groups that drink and take drugs. But they aren’t aware of the hundreds of other teens who aren’t doing all that stuff.

Day one here, I am determined and scared but I know I can do this becI have done it before many times and had good stints of sobriety. I feel dreadful today, going to sleep and recouperate and will keep accountable by posting every evening even if it’s just a check in. I have to do this 🙏🏼

Love the name @ChampooPapi! I hope today went well and you’re feeling much better. Just getting the first day under your belt and waking up tomorrow is such a positive step.

I made it through the Christmas party intact - it was dull (to me, I am just not built for events like that) and I reckon I would have been drinking through boredom only. Two more to go which are likely to be a bit more testing I think.

Morning and wlcome @ChampooPapi ! Do check in and tell us how you are going. I agree with @TimesaChangeling that getting the firs t day done is such a positive step!

I am not built for parties @TimesaChangeling either. I do drink through boredom and also social nervousness. And heavens yes how boring other people getting drunk is! I am always glad afterwards it wasn't me.

My most severe trigger times are after the school run. Picking DCs up after work / after school care etc then home. Last night I switched it around by taking them for a hot chocolate as soon as I picked them up. It threw my habit trigger off its tracks and after that I did not think about alcohol, much less want it. So a win.

Hope everyone has a lovely day!