The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

Morning @ponzusoup! i hope you're beginning to feel the benefits of sobriety? have a great day. I'll be checking in around my 6.30 witching hour.

thanks @livingalivelife feeling headachey and nauseous when i first wake up but the mental clarity is very welcome - feel a bit mentally safer in my own skin despite physical discomfort. guess it's going to take a while. anyway, sun is shining and it's day 5. i'll take that!

@livingalivelife hope you are feeling a bit cheerier today

Thanks @ponzusoup . Felt very low when I woke up but I've had a productive morning, and the sun is sort of shining, so am a bit better. mental safety is good and look forward to the physical benefits - it won't take long.

I've been thinking about all the people I've hurt through drinking. My kids by being present, being hungover and grumpy and setting a bad example of how to relate to alcohol. My partner, shunning and not recognising his kindness. Friendships: embarrassing myself, being indiscreet, not having headspace to think about others. My own body which I've abused massively. People I work with by being underpowered and hungover. I'm not going to beat myself up but I do want to take full responsibility for all of this.

The way I look at it, the best way to take responsibility is to stay off the booze. Your kids will appreciate that, as will your partner. The headfuck is more difficult. I still agonise over things that happened years ago, and I don't know how to stop the thoughts from coming back. I've more or less decided to ignore them as far as possible and try to think about something else. There's nothing I can do now, except make sure that they don't happen again.

@livingalivelife the guilt and shame does go. I have a few people in my life who remind me and I face them down. I've apologised to those who needed to hear it but there were just a couple who used my dependancy to belittle me. Hence why I have never done the eighth step at AA! People who truly love you will understand. We have more headspace when sober, fill it with books and films. I've just watched King Richard, very uplifting.
Afternoon lads.

I'm plodding along, having past the 8 week mark earlier this week.

I've discovered I am just as much a binge drinker of sober things as I am of booze, but at lease Zero Alcohol Guinness isn't damaging me. I didn't even drink the 'real' stuff before, but I find the alcohol-free stuff a very nice drink in the evenings.

Then again, I'm an all or nothing, feast or famine person in most things, so that shouldn't surprise me, I suppose.

I don't think about alcohol until much later into the evening, whereas I was very much on edge from mid afternoon to start with, and I'm perfectly happy to not have booze a good 80% of the time. Again, far better than I'd expected. However, a couple of larger events/occasions have ben a challenge so I'm in no way feeling I can relax my vigilance.

Wishing courage and resilience to all my fellow travellers xx

My tipple just now is a bowel cleansing thing in preparation for a colonoscopy tomorrow. It's vile, and I'm guessing it will be worse when it takes effect. I have to drink a pint of it now, and another pint later, alongside another pint for each glass of water/squash. So that's four pints of liquid. And then there's tomorrow to look forward to. I'm not happy.

Oh god @ShyMaryEllen that stuff is absolutely vile. Poor you. I hope tomorrow goes well.

Sympathy @ShyMaryEllen . I hope tomorrow goes well.
Still working here, which makes not drinking alot easier.

hope tomorrow isn't too grim @ShyMaryEllen

Thinking of you tonight and tomorrow @ShyMaryEllen .

@ponzusoup honestly the early days AF were so much harder for me than the bigger numbers, and I have nothing but respect and happiness for everyone celebrating the early milestones. It took me about five years of excuses and rationalising to actually get to day 2, if that makes sense. Whereas now it’s much more straightforward and generally less of an effort to keep the same (better) habits ticking over from hour to hour and day to day.

Thank you for the lovely comments on here about starting the thread. I’m standing on the shoulders of giants though - @Drybird2020 who started the original thread, followed by others including breathmiller@BunniesBunniesBunnies @WendyWagon and everyone who’s taken a turn and supported the threads. It’s just nice to be able to give something back.

Thanks from me too @Blackberryblossom - motivating to hope I might have logged up enough days to do my bit at some point!

@Blackberryblossom thanks for tagging me. i'm
doing ok and am so grateful for this thread and everyone's support. am taking it day by day.

actually finding it easier to deal with my aggressive depressive old mum sober - just letting it roll off me and feeling more se ute and peaceful than if i'd had a bottle of wine and got aggy back. and looking forward to another morning with no hangover ... altho still defo feeling a bit sick and dehydrated. wondering tho what is peri meno and what is sertraline as hsve never experienced anything without alcohol for more than a few days.

feel like i'm being very introspective and a bit selfish on here - hope everyone else is doing ok

Morning all.
Up and moving a bit better bar the knee.
I have a few more days before I'm back to the grindstone.

I have ordered the new Marion Keyes book so looking forward to that. I finished the Ruth Jones, I cried a bit as my dad was Welsh and she put some Welsh sayings in there.
Like many of us I had a difficult mother. A champion if you needed her but otherwise one of nature's beauties and a diva. However my dad was lovely and we all miss him everyday.
My BFF will be arriving later this morning so a good chat is needed.
Have a good day all.

Difficult mothers and alcohol are a theme. I think giving up alcohol is part of learning to be a kinder and more caring mum to myself.
Glad you are on the mend @WendyWagon and a good book and a good friend sounds perfect.

Ooh @WendyWagon another Marion book? Excellent 😀 hope the knee feels better soon too.
I went shopping with dd today. While we were waiting to order lunch she said “I’ll just go to the fridge and see what alcohol free beers they have.” 😍 Plus, I bought new jeans that I utterly love. I live in old sensible boyfriend-cut black jeans that have gone grey from all the washing, but these are a blue denim 70s flare that fit perfectly. Now I need new tops too! But it was lovely to spend a bit of money on me without feeling guilty.

@WendyWagon wishing you a speedy recovery

@Blackberryblossom news jeans that you're really pleased with is one of life's underrated pleasures

on my way home - sober train journey rather than a beer or wine to 'reward' myself for visiting my mum. even had a laugh with DD2 instead of her ignoring me with her headphones on ) well , for a bit anyway)

bit scared about the weekend has OH will be drinking beer. have decided to be selfish and cancel a dinner invitation to two old friends ... just not sure i'm
steady enough for a friday dinner with guests and no booze. feel a bit guilty though.

@ShyMaryEllen hope your procedure went ok and you're home and relaxing.

@livingalivelife yup, mothers. a lot to answer for.

Thanks, @ponzusoup . It went well, and nothing sinister was found, which was a relief. It wasn't anything connected with my liver, but other ailments are available 😉

Yes, mothers can be difficult, mine included. I really hope that my daughter isn't posting on here in 20 years saying the same thing.

I can't remember the last comfy jeans I owned. I have on some jeggings just now. They are fine, but I suspect they are hideously unfashionable and they are only bearable because they stretch over my tummy. After my good news last week I plan to make a huge effort to get into shape and get my fibroscan score further down. The nurse suggested a Mediterranean diet, and I'm going to go all out for that. I didn't start earlier as I knew I'd have to fast for today's procedure, but I have peppers and aubergines in the fridge, and will make something with them tomorrow. With any luck, I might be in proper jeans by Christmas.

Morning all.
Well I don't know if this procedure has worked or I'm having a lucky day.
I was downstairs without the Jake the pake walk this morning.

I had some unworn Denim and Co jeans from QVC which at last fitted me in February. They are dark and soft to wear.
No idea if they fit now as I am living in pull ons. I have eaten more due to the steroids. My son has bought me protein yoghurts so I eat something nourishing.

Good luck to all for Friday. I cancelled a fair few dinners in the early days. I needed to get on with my new life. People do understand. A couple didn't but they proved to be just in it for my generous drink buying!

@WendyWagon I hope it is that the procedure has worked!

I also have cancelled many dinners as I didn't feel strong enough to say no or explain.

I have a dinner out soon with a lovely friend. I want to go as she is a close friend but its with lots of randoms. It'll be the first time out when I'll have to answer the question why am I not drinking. Fucks me off really that anyone asks it's no ones bloody business really! But feeling pissed off about having to even answer is a good place for me to be rather than embarrassed or ashamed.

Enjoys Friday everyone, no horrid alcohol sleep and that Saturday morning without the anxious hangover x

Can you just say your sleeping has been bad so you you’re laying off for a while? That lasts forever as after a while you can say you’ve found that not drinking helps with your sleep so you’ve given up for good.

I found that nobody cares really. I had a cover story for old friends but new ones just know that I don’t drink. It’s all much bigger in our heads than in anyone else’s.

I agree it's so much bigger for us. I also think it triggers others with issues with alcohol.

I think I'm going for I've been so stressed I've needed to step back as I haven't been feeling well. All very true....

There it's doesn't sound bad does it... very sensible! And I'll only do dinner not drinks after.

I got through my best friend turning up with cocktail ingredients and my birthday, both without booze this week.

That felt a big milestone