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Original poster

Imagine there’s tons of these… sober October support thread

347 replies

Poopertrooper · 30/09/2023 20:14

Staring tomorrow. Successfully did sober October last year and drank on November 1st and have done almost every day since.

Determined to make this my starting point again - anyone want to join here for mutual support?

Also any recommendations for podcasts to listen to for starting short bursts sober journeys welcome

OP posts:
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5
PeacheyPeach · 25/10/2023 00:17

@43ontherocksporfavor 😅 we will be on the cups of tea on a Saturday night 😀

43ontherocksporfavor · 25/10/2023 08:52

Yep sounds good!
Day 26.

Thornrose · 25/10/2023 08:59

Morning, day 24 for me. I also feel a bit sick when contemplating wine. I know my tolerance will have dipped and I'll feel rough, ugh!

I am off work this week and normally I would drink a fair bit as I'm not getting up early. But really not missing it.

I can't wait to continue not drinking at home. I'm not even going to say I'll just drink at weekends. That will lead to more.

I'll have half a bottle left so will end up drinking on Monday, etc etc... Just not prepared to go back to that.

I was thinking back a good few years to when it never even occurred to me to drink at home. I can be that person again.

43ontherocksporfavor · 25/10/2023 09:04

Yes @Thornrose ! 💪🏻 Last time I did DJ I drank on the 1/2. That was a few years ago . Feel so different now.

Verraten · 25/10/2023 09:56

I started listening to the 90 Days Later podcast by Anna Charles. Brilliant. She gives really down to earth, pragmatic advice. Then I heard she does coaching and I signed up with her. Now she's talking about interviewing ME for the podcast (for my before-after story). After 25+ years of drinking too much white wine. So if you're still struggling go and listen to her podcast right now! (Yes, I've become a bit converted!!)

43ontherocksporfavor · 25/10/2023 11:41

Thanks @Verraten ! Good luck with the interview.

PeacheyPeach · 25/10/2023 12:02

Wow @Verraten that's awesome well done, what tips have you got for us !?

Verraten · 25/10/2023 12:10

@PeacheyPeach top tips are to start by acknowledging where you are. In my case that was to not keep getting frustrated with myself when I would walk straight to the fridge when I got in from work. Getting mad with myself didn't help at all. Second is to get really aware of how you're drinking and to pay attention. It was so hard-wired for me that I would be drinking before I even 'knew' I was drinking. But the more I paid attention, the more I started to understand myself. I saw that my action of drinking wasn't 'just happening' (even though I used to swear blind that that was the case). Something always came before a drink. Once I found that 'something' I started to change. Another thing that made a huge difference was to listen to how I talked. Going around saying how hard it was for me to stop drinking and how much I simply LOVED wine were just making the habit more ingrained. In doing all this stuff I also learned I didn't need more willpower to change and that was such a RELIEF. Hope this helps.

Ohtobehappy · 25/10/2023 13:46

Hi everyone. I have been quiet on here as I am ashamed to say I have been drinking again. After the weekend I seemed to have the taste back for it. Monday I had a horrendous day at work so I reached for the wine. Then did the same last night.
Over the last week I seem to have lost the positivity I had started to have. I am forever worrying about things and being very self critical and hard on myself and that usually results in self sabotage.
I really thought I had a hold on this but I am feeling so low that I am finding it so tough.
Maybe I could try and look at the win of not drinking for 20 days so far this month and cut myself some slack but I desperately wanted to get out of this awful habit of drinking at home for the sake of it then hating myself

Amdone123 · 25/10/2023 14:17

@Ohtobehappy , ahhh bless you. I'm in a similar situation so bless me, too !
Please cut yourself that slack. You've acknowledged a problem, you're trying to do something about it and yes, look at those 20 af days - that's really good.
I've had a similar number of af days myself, so well done to me, too. ❤️
Keep looking at those positives and you'll get there.

43ontherocksporfavor · 25/10/2023 14:46

Absolutely. It’s progress. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you may as well give up.
Out of interest, did you get drunk quickly? Was it nice?

Ohtobehappy · 25/10/2023 15:07

@Amdone123 thank you for your kind words. I feel like such a failure !

Ohtobehappy · 25/10/2023 15:10

@43ontherocksporfavor thank you for your kind words. I didnt particularly get drunk any quicker no. I would say I probably only enjoyed half of what I drank !

Amdone123 · 25/10/2023 16:26

@Ohtobehappy that's the problem, sometimes we don't even enjoy it. It's a habit, albeit a very addictive one.
Incidentally, you are far from a failure.
You are a work in progress and are doing really well.
No more negative self - talk - that's an order !

43ontherocksporfavor · 25/10/2023 16:59

Right so next time try to remember that. I always say I only really enjoy the first couple. It’s just hard to stop at that point.

Thornrose · 25/10/2023 20:32

20 days was a really good run. When you're ready you can just do a day at a time. "Today I won't drink" it's maybe not so daunting.

I have days when I'm really strong but today the urge hit me out of the blue.

I was dropping dd off as I do every Wednesday and I'd usually stop to buy wine on the way back.

So today I really, really wanted to do that. I sat in my car for ages. Telling myself I'll feel sick in the morning, I'd regret it. It would probably taste horrible etc.

I came inside and put my pyjamas on but for the last half hour I've been having an internal dialogue. It's such a powerful bloody voice.

I feel so irritable and miserable, quite angry actually. This is really hard but I can't figure out why. Yesterday I felt the total opposite.

Ohtobehappy · 26/10/2023 11:59

@Thornrose oh I completely understand your feelings last night. That was what I was like on Tuesday I went over and over it all the way home then stupidly went to Lidl !
I felt really rubbish yesterday so didn't go to pilates and went to bed early but woke up this morning feeling even worse ! I think maybe because I hadn't drunk for nearly 3 weeks then did drink for four nights it hit me worse than it used to. I think because I continuously drank each night I was almost masking how I was feeling and would just drink again thinking it would make me feel better.
God it sounds so stupid and naive doesn't it when it's said out loud but this is how it gets you it draws you in and thinks alcohol is the only way out !
All in all I feel really pleased that I have tried the sober October but I don't feel that my relationship with alcohol has changed enough. I still feel I could go back to my old ways at the drop of a hat !

43ontherocksporfavor · 26/10/2023 12:06

Maybe plan to keep up writing it down , as you say , then you see it for what it is. There is a halfway house. Maybe set yourself 2 moveable drink days ( not necessarily weekends) depending on what you have planned. Would that help? If you have 20 days a month AF that would be a massive win!

Ohtobehappy · 26/10/2023 13:45

That would be a massive win as I have only ever managed 10 AF days in a month before apart from when I did sober October 4 years ago and a dry march and november about 6 years ago. I seem to struggle more now especially going through the menopause.
Were you drinking every night @43ontherocksporfavor ?

Ohtobehappy · 26/10/2023 13:47

And can I just say how lovely everyone on this thread is. I have never posted on MN before as when I really some other topics and posts I really how mean and judgemental people can be

43ontherocksporfavor · 26/10/2023 16:53

@Ohtobehappy I had started to in the last few months . Not much in the week , just a couple then a bottle of wine, Fri, Sat and Sun. Prior to that just weekends. It’s the menopause that’s spurred me on , I just do t think my body can cope with booze and hormones upping sticks! 😂

43ontherocksporfavor · 26/10/2023 16:57

I say a bottle of wine but there was sometimes a beer or two at the pub mid dog walk on a Sunday afternoon in addition or maybe a G&T before the wine! Easy to forget.

PeacheyPeach · 27/10/2023 01:38

@Ohtobehappy your not a failure, you managed 20 days straight, that's a great achievement please don't be hard on yourself, it is hard to break a habit, especially when we are surrounded by it. The fact that you've done that length of time is great, maybe set smaller goals if you want to drink less, so maybe think I won't drink monday -thursday and.then have a drink over the weekend, and then after a few months of that maybe increase to like Monday - Friday, or something like that, so that its not as daunting xxx

43ontherocksporfavor · 27/10/2023 08:52

Hello all! Day 28 for me. Feels quite strange as it’s Friday and apart from updating this thread, I’m not really thinking about drink anymore. I haven’t even got in any 0% drinks ready. Been thinking about my plan for post October . This was only supposed to be a month off but my feelings have changed and I feel so much better, have read so much about not needing booze, about cancer( my DM does from breast cancer) and ther is no real reason to start drinking again as I was. I’d be daft not to capitalise on this run. So, wise ones, I think I’m going to carry on and take it as it comes. I’d like to be able to have a glass of red if I really fancy it or a Guinness and really enjoy it or maybe a glass of fizz at a function and have the freedom to do that and then back to not drinking the majority of the time. What I don’t know is how I will feel after one drink.

Thornrose · 27/10/2023 09:24

@43ontherocksporfavor like @Ohtobehappy I feel as though my relationship with alcohol has not changed enough. I'm still fighting urges and having the voice in my head!

So, I'm going to push on with no alcohol at home for ever! I really think I have to go all or nothing.

I'm happy to drink out socially. I'll just have to see if that triggers a desire to drink at home again. If it does then I'll keep trying because I really don't want to stop completely.