On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

If only there was!

Hello everyone. Thanks for shiny new thread. Sorry I haven’t been contributing much. I’m muddling along here. I had three AF nights last week which is my target, and two the previous two weeks, so I’m starting to get into a habit. Partner who was drinking a bottle of wine a day is having two AF nights with me which is great. I still had too much at the weekend though. Not completely written off, but enough to make me not feel like doing anything on Saturday, so Ive measured my vodka allowance per night into smaller bottles so that I can stick to my limits.

@Coppergate6 loved that version of Don’t Stop Me Now that you posted. I love that song so will add it to my list. I’m mainly playing band songs just now. Coming home and practising helps distract me from drinking.

Hope everyone is good x

@Amdone123 i think it’s the only way to go for me at the moment, the other thing is that because my tolerance went down I get smashed easy.

when I am depressed there is never enough, I just want to be honest, I just don’t want one drink I want several. One drink seems to start of that itchy antsy feeling, it’s like anxiety over where the next drink is coming from.

@Touty I know what you mean. I used to be like that - antsy about where the next one is coming from - but over the years, I've trained myself to limit it, so I'll have 1 x wine and a few beers, and buy / have nothing else.
I'd forgotten that little victory, so thanks for helping me remember it !
@EnuffEnuffNow good to hear you're doing OK. Pop on the thread whenever you need. Someone will always be here 🤣.

I'm actually on day 6 ( it's weird how it mounts up when you're just getting on with other things).

Ironically, after my semi melt down last Friday when I was convinced there was something wrong with me ( definitely was hangaxiety), I've been fine, taking one day at a time.
I've no idea what the weekend holds, but I'm best not making any definite plans til it's here.

Hello everyone. I want to declare a small victory. Yesterday had some sad news about a friend. Normally I would of course have a drink to commiserate. The wine demon was perched on my shoulder, telling me it was OK to abandon my weekday wagon under the circumstanes. I was SO tempted.

But I didn't give in. No drink drunk.

@EnuffEnuffNow three days AF is my target too. Not drinking much the rest of the week is still a challenge, though!

@RocketRomanos sorry to hear about your friend.
Drinking wouldn't have changed the situation but I know how tempting it is to drink in those circumstances.
When we hear sad news, my dh will say, That's why you have to enjoy yourself today.
Unfortunately, my idea of enjoying myself on a daily basis is not good in the long term.
Well done - the small victories are great.

@Amdone123 the problem for me is going out, I don’t have booze at home anymore so I feel I have to go out to drink and so there’s no limit as it feels like the glass is bottomless 😔

@EnuffEnuffNow - good luck with 'don't stop me now' - when you're ready to start. I think it would be amazing to play that well!

Sorry to hear you've had sad news @RocketRomanos ❤

I'm breaking my rules as I struggle towards half-term - had wine at home last two nights (early evening and stopped after a couple but even so it is just the start of a slippery slope - I know that much ). I've got the day off today so I'm hoping to address some of the reasons why this was more likely to happen. Got up at my work-day time of 6.30 am after going to bed early, so that is a good start at least...

Small victory for me thus far this week
I'm trying to cut down amd monitoring my units exactly
Since Monday I've cut done each night amd last night had under 5 units
Still
Way too much I know but goodness me I slept solidly for just under 9 hours the last two nights !Thats l something I haven't done in too long !

@Easterdaffsx that's great. Keep on enjoying those benefits and it can only get better.
@Touty I didn't realise that was the problem. I don't keep any in either and I have to go out for it if I want it, but I often can't be bothered. I do pick it up sometimes when I'm out though. Which is why I don't go out.
@Coppergate7 are you stressed at work or even worse, bored ? I've probably said this before but I started on my slippery slope when work became rubbish.

I've had 10 af days in October. The day I drank was only 1 x wine ( good for me. It was definitely always 2).
I'm unsure about this weekend. Possibly I'll just have 1 bottle. Possibly.

I don't think it is work really @Amdone123 - maybe I am a bit bored of the same old but really work is pretty good at the moment. The problem is it exhausts me - because I'm not fit, and then I don't have much left to give to what else I want to do in a day. My feet often ache at the end of the day - not because of the amount of steps but the standing. It takes too much I guess. Easy to pour a glass of wine to dull the ache and the wish to do more with the evening...

However, I went to bed last night at 8.15 pm (DH is ill so went to bed around then too) and had a really good night's sleep so easily got up at 6.30 am. I've been productive around the house this morning, but now I'm starting to flag a bit...still, even if I don't do much else today it is already better than most of my day's off! I think I've just got to keep soldiering on change my habits and routines, accepting imperfection and non-linear progress - everything is linked!

@Coppergate7 good to hear work is going well. I know tiredness / weariness can be a trigger for me, too.
Are you trying to get fitter with the Zoe approach?
To be fair, it sounds like you do a lot during your work day, mentally exhausting as well as physically.

Yes, sort of @Amdone123 , trying to get healthier with Zoe - made some changes but the progress with that has slipped recently too.

I now thinking I'm fighting something off (DH has been quite ill with flu/covid like symptoms the last three days). I had a really good night's sleep last night but was suddenly wiped out this afternoon so ended up having not one but two naps. I really hope I can still sleep tonight!

What triggered wanting to go out for a [poorly planned] meal with DH last week (which seemed to start all of this) was the house didn't feel like a home. DS was away, a few things needed tidying up, it needs a deep clean, I couldn't be bothered to cook (as DH won't eat what I like to eat) and I didn't have the mental energy to change what I could. I seem to be knocked off course very easily! At least I am determined to keep finding my way back somehow!

I've made some good progress today (well this morning!) towards getting the house feeling homely again. May not seem like it has much to do with drinking but I know it does - that and many other things!

I’ve had success. It’s Friday morning here and I’ve had three AF nights in a row. I wasn’t actually planning to but on Wednesday which is my ‘allowed’ night I just decided since I was tired that I’d be in bed soon anyway that it was hardly worthwhile. Last night I came home stressed but it was our joint agreed AF night and I knew that if I caved OH would too so I went to bed with a book. Must be careful tonight not to go over my Friday night limit and waste Saturday again.

One of the things that helped last night @Coppergate7 was downloading the sheet music for Don’t Stop Me Now! It’s just the free version and probably simpler than the version you posted but that’s probably good! I know what you mean about your house. When I feel like my external surroundings are in order then it makes me feel like being more disciplined elsewhere.

@Amdone123 Thanks for the welcome back :)

@RocketRomanos I’m sorry about your friend. Well done on not drinking.

Well done @Easterdaffsx :)

Hope everyone else is good. Have a great weekend x

I am treating myself to a bottle of nosecco tonight. I use the term 'treating' very loosely but I needed something.

@EnuffEnuffNow well done for your 3 days, that's great progress. Interesting that you could drink Wednesday but chose not to - I think that's a brilliant step forward. You didn't just drink for the sake of it, and let's face it, a lot of us do !
@Needtokickthehabit have you had it before?
Let me know what you think of it.
Well done for making that choice, though. Good for you.

TGIF ! I've had a long week - busy but satisfying. I'm on day 8, not missed it too much. The odd pang, but more for wondering about the weekend.
I can't really drink now throughout the week anyway - because of my jobs - not unless I want to suffer, but weekend of course, is different.
Keep going, folks 💪

I have and it is paletable enough but it has to be ice cold!

Morning! Why do I do it? Had wine 2 evenings in a row so back to day 1. Didn't really drink too much but have the most awful upset tum this morning. That will teach me! Have got to be better in less than 2 hours as taking 2 youngest DGC out all day, including to the swimming pool.

But why? All was going so well. Felt relaxed. Perhaps too relaxed?
Have no particular worries. Had excellent health news following nasty scare last year. So why? Why do I do this to myself? Had an awful night and have been up since 05:00 this morning, mainly sitting on the loo.

Will spend the day feeling awful, surrounded by screaming, excited children in different activities with nearly a hangover/upset stomach and feeling not very proud of myself.

Of course, am now telling myself that this is what happens if you drink red wine. I must have had more than I think because I'm feeling really rough.
Then again, the good news is, that perhaps, perhaps, I'll remember this and won't fall for the "I can do this" story that I've been telling myself.

My sleep pattern being completely shot in the foot. Intestines gone wild. Day out going to be more nightmare (for me) than fun. So WHY?

Was it the stored emails that I was reading yesterday and feeling oh so warm about? Did they trigger something in me? Did that push me into the arms of the old demon WW?

Oh well. Back to day 1.

Wishing you all a good day, stay strong. Gah!!!!!

Try not to be too hard on yourself @Nowstrong Change is difficult and I think lapsing or relapsing is all part of the process. One step forward, two back…but still heading in the right direction. Hope you’re feeling better tomorrow :)

@Nowstrong I feel for you. I was like that last Friday - I was so utterly pissed off with myself. I hope your day goes OK - look forward to a better night's sleep tonight. I don't know why we do it either. I'm in awe of people who manage to quit. Like @EnuffEnuffNow said though, change is difficult. At least you're trying.

I had 1 bottle of wine last night. I had an epiphany this morning - I always, always bought 2 bottles, never 1 - now I don't think I could have 2 in one sitting, so that's a step forward !
I don't feel too bad either.
I won't drink now til next weekend though of course, I'm hoping not to.

Thank you @EnuffEnuffNow and @Amdone123, didn't really have time to feel sorry for myself, had to keep up with 2 nine year olds. Had more than my share of donuts and lemon meringue pie. Tonight will be herb tea and a well needed early night. Tomorrow is Spa day with a friend. Will definitively be AF.
Monday I'm off for 4 days, then after that a week away with one of my DGD. That will also be AF, as can't drink with her, that would be rather irresponsible.
Soooo back on the wagon for me it is. Just hope that I can make it until end of November. Will have to remember how shitty I felt this morning.
Can only try my best. Thank you for your encouragements.

Hello all, I’ve been catching up with everyone’s posts. I’m doing ok. A bit too much on Thursday - but I had a really good night out and when it was my round bought small glasses for myself. I still struggle with stopping when I get home. I need a sign on my front door that says ‘Have some water and go to bed, you idiot.’

I’m going away for half term. I’d doubt I’ll have any AF days but my plan is to start later and limit myself. No hangovers too spoil the sunny pool days! Let’s see how it goes.

Well done on your Nosecco @Needtokickthehabit

Well done on Day 8 @Amdone123 !

How did last night go @Nowstrong ?

I've definitely lapsed a bit - my longest AF run in October is 2 days so far. Lots of red dots. Thankfully I have made progress in other areas so feeling strangely ok about it, as long as it stops now. I want it to stop now. One day at a time though...starting today.

@Coppergate7 thanks, though I did have a bottle of wine Friday night. Only 1. None yesterday and today I walked to the supermarket and it didn't occur to me to pick one up.
What did occur to me though, and apologies if this sounds obvious, when I don't want to drink, it's easy. When I do want to drink, wild horses won't stop me. And therein lies the problem.