On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

Massive fail last night. I was so bored and fed up I needed to get out of the house and the only place to go was the bar.

perhaps I just need to accept that this is my life.

Hi all @Amdone123 haha about Friday feeling, the problem with me was everyday was a Friday feeling! So when it got to Friday I thought oh I shouldn't drink as I've drank all week but then think fuck it it's Friday!
Well done to all those who have AF streaks and those you haven't it's ok! @Touty it depends what you want to do going forward as you were doing well before your house guest came , I know you were bored last night but did jay embroidery kit come? I've finished one and I've ordered another I'm shit at it but it keeps me going ! @Coppergate6 in my view you can eat whatever as long as it's not the booze so well done and I hear you with self sabotage etc. Was thinking about you @WendyWagon sorry you fell off and the toxic work place hope you will be ok moving forward have you gone to management about the toxic person ?
How are you @Needtokickthehabit ? Hi to everyone else.
I'm day 114 and 8 hours according the the app, I'll be 4 months soon and bloody proud of it!

@Determineddoris 114 days and 8 hours ! Sounds like a good film title. Well done, you have done absolutely brilliantly ❤️
@Touty I wonder that sometimes, whether I should just accept it as part of my life, something I do and stop stressing about it. The problem is that it IS a problem for me - not only does it affect most areas of my life in a negative way, I don't want to depend on it.
I want a normal relationship with it - so many posters on here say that. Tbh, I don't think I ever will. It's always there.
My sister says I stress too much about it, but she's not me, waking up at 2am, hating myself.

Day 7 today and I do feel good. I know I will drink this weekend - but it's a choice I've made.
I'll just have to make sure I don't overdo it / be hungover.

@Determineddoris very well done on your AF run! Do you have days now when you don’t even think about it?

@Touty maybe give yourself a little breather from feeling too bad about it. Could you try moderating for a bit - tell yourself that when you have got everything done for the evening you’ll have one drink? Sometimes I tell myself I’ll have one glass of wine when all the chores/kids stuff is done. Unlike @Amdone123 who cleans when she’s drinking I am completely lazy once I’ve even had one sip! Often times I haven’t finished everything until 10pm and then I think what’s the point and don’t have the wine anyway, but somehow telling myself i CAN have it makes it less stressful than the continual inner argument about whether I’m going to drink or not which is exhausting.

Being away on my own in a place where I’ve been many times before it’s given me a good chance to see how my attitude has changed. Before part of the fun of the trip would have been getting drunk on my own but now it doesn’t seem very appealing. Mostly because like @Amdone123 and I’m sure many of us i often wake at night feeling terrible if I’ve drunk too much - palpitations and breathless as well as the shame and regret - and this no longer seems fun! I did go it to a bar last night and had two small glasses of wine and some cheese which was lovely. Not drunk, not hungover. It would be nice to be able to do this without having to concentrate on not going OTT but maybe that will come in time. I’ve yet to test myself on a proper night out which has been my major downfall recently.

@Bigbus yes, I remember you saying about nights out. Another hurdle but I'm sure once you've thought about it, you'll set yourself some ground rules. You sound like you're doing great on your break.
I was just tidying the bedroom and noticed my wardrobe has winter and summer clothes and needs sorting. I thought, I'll do that over the weekend when I've had a glass of wine 🤣

😂 @Amdone123 we’re exact opposites! I get nothing done once I start drinking! I wonder if that’s part of the appeal? When I’m not drinking I’m constantly feeling like I have to do something to sort out the mess but when I’m drinking I lose that guilt and let myself relax. The more I think about it, I think this really is an important reason I drink at home. I need to learn to let myself off the hook even when not drinking.

@Bigbus great reflection ❤️

Hello all hope everyone is OK.

I did have some wine last night. 3/4 of a bottle to be honest, which is too much, I know. I don't feel bad about it though, as I am pleased I had the three days off. BUT I did wake up this morning and think what was the point of it? It didn't make my evening any better than it would have been if I hadn't drunk anything. Plus I felt definitely less "fresh" compared to the non drinking days.

I have just read another thread on here which really made me think about how alcohol use/abuse can slide into something really catastrophic. Sobering reading, if you'll pardon the pun.

@Amdone123 wish I could get the cleaning bug while drinking instead of slobbing out and binge watching TV! Is your sister a drinker too? Mine is and considers me a "lightweight" and she would think me a drama llama for worrying about the amount I drink.

@RocketRomanos great approach not feeling bad about it. You did have 3 days af, but I know what you mean about was it worth it. I think that's where habit comes into it, maybe. Or the thinking that we need it to relax, get away from it all.
My sister drinks pints of lager, and she likes to get dressed up and go out, so we're not really comparable in that respect. I'd rather stay in. She's very happy go lucky - I am, too, but she just doesn't understand the struggle! She's the closest person to me, but I've never told her about my AA visit, or hypnotherapy I've had. She has no idea I'm on here.
She'll sometimes message when she's hungover, and be really upset / anxious / remorseful. I do my best to guide her !
Well, I was planning on drinking tonight, but I got home and dh had made a Chinese meal. I wasn't hungry (?) , but didn't have the heart to say so. I've had 1 glass of wine ; I'm stuffed ( a good thing), tired, etc, so I'll see where the night goes.

Well done to @RocketRomanos for three days and not feeling bad about it. That's probably the mindset most moderator's need to not feel bad! I would almost always feel bad about everything I did whether it was a small glass of wine or a bottle.
I am super stressed ATM due to serious family matters. It's a case of me having to protect my parents from another family member who is abusing them it's awful awful situation and I did smoke yesterday and had a 0% corona. @Bigbus yes I don't think about it much at all except for this thread and maybe some social media I follow but I haven't been on that either recently. It's amazing as before every single thought upon waking was when I can I drink. This abusive family member also said to my mum oh there must have been a huge reason Doris stopped drinking completely noone does that and how there must have been a huge fight between me and my H?? Making things up as he's paranoid schizophrenic, horrible person abusing old people. We wanted to call police but my mum won't allow it. Sorry going deep. But I'm going to give social media a break for a while! Hope you all have a great weekend xxx

Another red dot on the planner for me (I drank at home last night - 3 glasses wine) and I have a headache. Opposite reason this time - a few negative things on my mind rather than a celebratory mood, and old habits & excuses re-emerge. I tried to break another rule (always get up at 6.30 am) but my body is now said no to that one, which is a relief.

I've done this three weeks in a row now so I've questioned whether I need to change my rules...and the answer is no, as I've regretted it three times in a row too. I've just got to get on with the work of changing more habits. The Ibuprofen & coffee has lifted the headache now so no excuse to use that as an excuse not to get on with that today!

I've only drank four days in September - all of them moderated (even if three were at home). That is a very big change from what it was a few months ago - must not lose sight of that.

@Touty I think giving yourself a breather is a good idea, and you were doing well before your houseguest. Things like that de-rail me too and it is hard to get back on track afterwards. I would aim for the progress that feels achievable right now - delaying the first drink for 20 minutes, adding in a soft drink/pint of water somewhere etc rather than what doesn't.

Morning all! Still AF here. Last day before my holiday. I'm feeling really happy and relieved to be leaving as I've noticed that I'm in a bit a of physical rut at the moment. The weather here is beautiful and I'm trying to stay in as much as possible. Which is bizarre. I'm doing my swimming but finding excuses not to go walking. It will pass. I think it's a touch of boredom settling itself in.

Anyway, off tomorrow. So today will be proper housework here (can't leave a messy home, because I love coming back home to a tidy, clean place). A good long walk. Going to make myself get out.

Strangely I'm looking forward to the friendly chaos of where I'm off to. Long walks on the ginormous beach.

Will read here daily, because I always do. Might not post very much, because I think that I'm thinking about my alcohol intake too much. Will give you my good or bad AF news when I'm back. But I must admit that even if I do have 1 or 2 drinks, that will be the max, so I'm not going to beat myself up about that. I've reduced my alcohol intake SO much, going from daily drinker, to AF for more than 10 days at a time, that my liver must love me. Plus I love my peaceful sleep now too much.

Wishing you all strength whether abstaining or moderating and sending positive vibes. Don't forget to love yourselves.

Have an amazing time @Nowstrong ! Love your attitude towards...everything! Hoping you've inspired me to clean more today too - nothing like a lovely clean and tidy home to give you a welcoming 'hug' when you get back!

Have a great time @Nowstrong , sounds like a change of scenery will do you the world of good. @Coppergate6 yes, don't lose sight of all the positive changes you've made. You're doing well.

I had 1.5 bottles last night. Quite a lot I suppose, but hey ho. I've just poured the remaining half away as whilst I wouldn't be tempted today, I would tomorrow which leads me to.......Is anyone up for Sober October ?
I've got no social events planned, I need to sort my weight out and I feel positive that I could do it, especially with help here.

Thank you @Amdone123 ❤Well done for ditching that half bottle!

Sober October - I want to say yes but I may have to just say yes to no red dots in October due to a couple of events (but secretly hope I can manage despite that). Think it is a great idea anyway!

@Coppergate6 that's great. I think even if we don't manage the whole month ( and no guarantee I will ! ), it's just something to focus on. We can but try 🙃🤣

I was very surprised, and very pleased to see that I've lost 4.2 lbs this month. It has been very far removed from a perfect month but 26/30 days were sober - that is a lot of calories not consumed. I now feel much more motivated to further improve my eating and get back to hitting 10K+ steps a day and Sober October! Good timing as the last few days haven't been great and I was in a real slump with it all.

@Coppergate6 that's brilliant, well done. 26 days is really good. I think you're like me though - that's roughly once a week, whereas we'd like once a fortnight ? Something to aim for.

Well, I'm starting sober October today. Lunch is cancelled so that's today sorted. Though my sister has just messaged to see if I want to go out. If I did, I'd just eat - I definitely wouldn't drink. Hangover yesterday wasn't too bad, but I struggled to get to sleep and even had a bad night's sleep last night.
Dh said I'm in a bad mood, but this is partially due to him making his own breakfast and not mine 😬

Hello thanks to all for your thoughtful comments. I had a bit of a lightbulb moment today about my low mood/depression which makes me feel like I need a drink to cope. I recently started on new progesterone tablets for hrt, I think they are making me feel depressed or more depressed than usual. I’m going to stay off them for a few days and see if things improve.

I just seem to be overthinking myself into a black hole lately.

Morning, all. Day 1 of soberoctober ✅
It was tricky yesterday but I'm encouraged by my strength to not drink , if that makes sense, as I know I can do it.
Also using my tools / knowledge - throwing that wine away Saturday was a great move. If I'd have drank yesterday, today I'd be feeling so fed up, I'd be thinking my chance to do soberoctober has come n gone - I wouldn't have started again today.
So, all good - a busy next 5 days but I'm ready for it.

Hello all! I am back on my usual weekday wagon. Went for lunch with friends today. They all drank, but I didn't and wasn't at all tempted. Why do I find it so much harder not to drink once Thursday rolls around?

@RocketRomanos yeah, the weekend is challenging. I think it's just the way we think as a society really. Although I started af weekends a while back - not every weekend obviously - and I really enjoy them.
I'm doing soberoctober. I know though this weekend will be challenging

I need a plan actually, so thanks for reminding me.
I'll sort one later. Will probably involve af beer and chocolate.

Morning all! Holiday is going well. Still practically AF, 1 glass of wine yesterday lunch time, but because it was available and the mood was good. Only 1 glass as much too expensive, otherwise I'm drinking tea and fizzy water.

Not swimming here as no decent pools available but walking loads.
Sleeping like a hibernating bear. So will go back home refreshed and relaxed. That's what holiday's are for.
Sending you lots of sunny positive vibes. Stay strong

Good morning, folks, how are we all doing ?
@Bigbus @Coppergate6 @Easterdaffsx @EnuffEnuffNow @Hohofortherobbers @Mykittensmittens @Needtokickthehabit @Nowstrong @RocketRomanos @Touty @Tribute219 @TruthRevolution @WendyWagon @afaloren - usual apologies!

I'm on day 4 of soberoctober - on a really helpful and motivating thread here, actually.
It's going well.
Yesterday wasn't a good day, but didn't even think of drinking - probably something I learned on here - it wouldn't have changed the day and would have only made today worse.
I was doubting myself regarding the weekend - got family round Saturday ( none of them will be drinking incidentally - it would just be me) but I really want to complete this month. An af weekend will add to my tally and increase my confidence.