On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

Evening all, I’m really struggling to climb back on the wagon at the moment. I had a few drinks when houseguest was here and now I’ve got the taste for it again, every day feels like a battle.

I think back to when I did my 42 days sober during July and august and I was on a roll then.

just fed up.

Morning all, still AF, but absolutely shattered. Went to bed very late and had to get up a few hours later to drive my guests to the airport. I'm joining them next week. Did go back to bed when I got in but sleep just didn't happen. So I'm up, in a bit of a bad mood and feel as though I've been out on the tiles all night. Might try to get some shut-eye this afternoon.
@Touty it's a battle that you can win, you've done it before. Up you hop!
@Amdone123 escapism, been there, got several T-shirts. You're doing really well with 7 straight AF days.
@Needtokickthehabit perhaps you can find something on line (other than here) that could help you. Something with a direct chat line that could get you through the really tough moments. Be kind to yourself.
Sending best wishes to everyone, but am too tired to really think straight, so have a good day, stay strong.

I wanted to drink last night too but it wasn't as strong and I was in better shape to distract myself with other things. Not sure why - I had a mild cold, fairly poor sleep the night before and a full (7.30 am-5.30 pm) day at work. I had the energy to cook & clear up properly, do some laundry and practice the piano for a couple of hours. Now I have a lovely leftover lunch to look forward to as well.

Morning all , welcome @RocketRomanos well done for your AF nights /days! Mine was the same of drinking creeping up to a bottle a night! I thought in my head I feel fantastic the next day but I was clearly mood, agitated, groggy. I've tried moderating for many years and it just hasn't worked for me but it totally works for other people hence this thread. It's not triggering for me to hear about others drinking etc it's when people say they're hungover is when I feel like this is the best thing I've we done no hangover! Sleep better! Mind better! Don't want to preach too much as only 111/112 days in I think so every day is a learning one. Find out about yourself. The escapism as mentioned is a real one, I started embroidery! I know I have a lot of work ' to do constantly but that's helped me switch off before bed. I'm not really eating any better but hey ho can't have it all! And for me the drink was the poison. @Touty you can definitely do this and we will help you! Remember how you felt before when you abstained, it's about the treadmill!
@Needtokickthehabit so sorry you are feeling like this, I used to feel like why the hell can't we just drink like normally!??? I'm also atheist and went to AA and struggled with the higher power, just wasn't for me. There's something called SMART recovery which isn't religious at all. What about making an appt with your wonderful GP?
I wanted to say to the others you don't need to reply and read the thread and catch up just post anything if you feel like it! No pressure to tag etc x

Thanks all it is just annoyance and frustration at the moment making me drink because my ex dp just refuses to have an adult conversation then i drink and naturally im the crazy one.

Now in my defence yesterday although its no defence but there was one glass of wine left in the bottle so i drank it but there was also an 8 pack of beer and only drank 3 of them so thats something. im considering driving to a local bin and dumping the other beers but maybe they might test me.

Anyway day one again for me. If I make it to sat (girls night out) I will be happy with myself.

Well no wonder i felt crap - I have bloody Covid!!! I’ve dodged it all this time but it’s got
me now. Somehow got to get kids to school, and home, and decide what to do about work. I don’t feel as bad as I expected and this is day 4, so I am keeping everything crossed I’ve peaked the worse (would be very happy to hear from
anyone on here who has had it and agrees/disagrees). No fever just a horrible sort throat, snotty, clammy and feeling like im in a bubble. And insomnia. Literally can’t sleep. Bizarre.

@RocketRomanos I’m a moderator and on week 3 of going from 7 days a week to 2 or 3 and okay so far but week two by day 5 was challenging. Keep posting. As you can see it’s done my health the world of food so far 🙄😂

Mykittensmittens that is typical, isn't it? Hope you feel better soon.

I had a small craving, but ate a few Rowntrees fruit gums and was fine. My plan for this week is another day AF (today) and then see how I go.

I gave up for 2 months last year. I so wish I hadn't started again.

Determineddoris 112 days is awesome. Well done.

@Touty I've been there. Abstained then got the taste for it, and off I went. Its probably why some people don't moderate - it's too difficult. My sister, for example, can't have any chocolate in her house - nothing. Once she starts, she's like something out of Willy Wonka.
@Mykittensmittens sorry you've got covid. I've never had it either but I know it's doing the rounds again. Do you have to work today ? Sounds like you need to rest. I know it's easier said than done.
@RocketRomanos you're doing well. One day at a time - get today done, then evaluate. That's what I do sometimes - see how I feel. And @Needtokickthehabit you've got 3 days til Saturday - if you do them af, you're in control.
Do you have children with your ex ? It's just that you said he won't talk to you - I know it's hard, but if you have no ties, maybe a clean break is best ?

I've woken up feeling great today. My legs are sore from all the walking, but I've slept better this week than I can remember in a long time. Dh said when it gets cold, I'll quit the jobs - 🤣 ( I am contemplating divorce).
What he doesn't understand is I need to get OUT of the house, not stay in, all nice and comfy with Mr Pinot.
Men ❤️

I think I’m scared of going back to old ways and drinking every night and ending up doing a bottle of Smirnoff a week which is 40 units of alcohol and far too much.

I haven’t bought vodka for ages but have recently started enjoying a few lagers but then feeling as if they were not enough which I know is a dangerous mindset.

not had anything to drink tonight just tea. I’ve also ordered an embroidery set @Determineddoris

@Amdone123 yes I understand the need to get out of the house to stay out of trouble 😏 this is a wise move, I need to do the same.

Day 24 for me.

What pattern did you get @Touty ?

DH fell asleep on the sofa while we were watching Nadiya’s new cooking show. He’s working so hard, really needs this holiday. Makes a change from me falling asleep because of the wine and then being belligerent when he tries to wake me!

Tomorrow will be a test. I know when I drive home I’ll be thinking, ‘I’m in holiday mode, what difference does one night make?’ But I committed to stay sober until we go away on Friday and I really want to make it the full 25 days.

Well done @afaloren you are doing amazing ! How was nadiyas new show? My H also fell asleep last night thought he was up so poked in but laptop on, phone on, light on but he was fast asleep. I didn't disturb him as he looked so peaceful regardless of the electric bill! We had a gas leak yesterday while I was at work but H and older son home as he's sick, probably covid. But I had to book and pay for an emergency engineer whilst at work (×i don't have an office job) so I'm excusing myself every two mins etc anyway luckily it was done by time I got home! Sorry to hear you've been unwell @Mykittensmittens it's going around again but most aren't testing but are really unwell not something they've had before ! I had it a bit after I came back off holiday so hoping I won't get it again .,@Touty aw brilliant you got a set, I got a cheap one off eBay some eye one which I've nearly finished but yesterday I was exhausted so couldn't even pick it up! My other son woke me at 3€am nose bleed and tummy ache. I think I might have to stay at home with the both today.. also @Touty it's good you aren't going back to the vodka that's the main thing!

@Determineddoris I hope you manage to stay off today with the boys, get a rest yourself. It all sounds exhausting.
@afaloren I know what you mean about today : many is the time I've drank the eve before going away. Such pleasant journeys to holiday destinations - not, but you'll feel so much better tomorrow when you hit that beautiful 25 !
I'm wondering what else you could do this evening to distract yourself - long bath, some treatments, hot chocolate, a bar of galaxy, bed ?
@Mykittensmittens how are you feeling?
@Touty I often drink lager and think it's not enough. In fact, now you've mentioned it like that, it's probably why I find it so difficult to drink anything but wine.
Just keep trying, one day at a time - and take confidence in the fact that you've done it before, you can do it again.

Day 6 here - that came out of nowhere. I wasn't really counting - pays to be busy in my case.
I thought I was looking forward to a drink at weekend but I woke up thinking I'm looking forward to a weekend where I have 2 free days : nothing to do except read, chill.
It's only taken me about 30 years to realise the difference.

@Bigbus @Coppergate6 @Easterdaffsx @EnuffEnuffNow @Hohofortherobbers @Needtokickthehabit @Nowstrong @OhShitImNearly40 @Tribute219 @WendyWagon , how are we all doing ?

Good morning everybody and welcome @RocketRomanos .

I am a moderator. Before I started on this thread I was drinking most nights and often a bottle of wine or more. I also had terrible binges when out which led to some super embarrassing incidents and quite frankly risky situations. I have been doing better although I’ve had one or two incidents when I’ve overdone it ok nights out. On one occasion I came back drunk and was talking to my DD15 and her friends and I can’t remember any of it. That’s probably the least worst but harder to hide!

Anyway I am sick of hangovers and feeling out of control and wasting mornings feeling crap and not remembering nights out.

Recently I have been doing pretty well. I’m away by myself for a few days and usually I ‘treat’ myself with far too much wine and shit food. This time I had one small wine on the train and two glasses of Prosecco later. I ate well and slept well. I have a new book to read and I feel rested instead of crap. Drinking too much is NOT a treat or a reward for working so hard. Why did it take me so long to see this??

@Needtokickthehabit i hope you can find something that works for you. The reasons why we drink are so complicated - I think some extra support as well as your GP would be good for you. Well done now finishing the beers though!

AF Day 10 here!! Big pat on my back. Having a massage this afternoon and really looking forward to it. Still in a very positive mindset after an excellent 9 hour sleep, caught up on my very short previous night. Lost a little bit of weight, which is always encouraging.

Have a few plans for the days ahead and off on Sunday for a week in the sun. It might be challenging to stay completely AF on holiday, but I will be in a non drinking culture, but where you can drink alcohol if you find it. So I might try to stick to AF beer and let the others go out of their way to have a couple of drinks. We shall see...I'm being very philosophical about it (well trying to).

Can't remember who has caught the dreaded COVID. Get well soon. I've had it once and wouldn't wish it on anyone. Was absolutely knocked out by it. It's going around here too and the dentist/doctors are recommending face masks again. No way do I want to catch it again, but that is another subject.

Wishing everyone strength. One day at a time. Love yourselves, as others sometimes forget to.

Thanks all for asking. I feel like a mildly warmed up pile of crap. The spectrum of symptoms is so wide that you swing from one thing to another - aching, not being able to breathe, I’ve got Covid toe, nausea, insomnia and burning lungs, headache - all off and on. My sense of taste is on the way out too - which I was kind of expecting.

I suppose one advantage is I have no appetite for wine!

Morning all. I achieved my plan of three AF days in a row, something I haven't managed for about six months. For the rest of this week Thurs -Fri I will see how I feel.

I would like to get back to the days where I just had a couple of glasses four days a week or less. BUT not kidding myself that this is possible and that I actually might need to give up for good to avoid sliding into something really problematic and much harder to get out of.

@RocketRomanos try for today too - I bet you can do it? Have you got an app like trydry? I just use a notebook! The satisfaction I get every day when I can tick the box and use a snazzy pink highlighter to mark the day before as 0 units is bizarrely wonderful. I may even upgrade to a reward chart with smiley face stickers!!! 😂

@RocketRomanos well done for your 3 af days, that's great. Today might not be too bad, what about Friday. I hate that 'Friday Feeling' - we all know it means drinking 🤣, so it's hard when you're trying not to.
I once worked with someone who told me weekends start on a Thursday so silly me would drink on a Thursday, go to work Friday hungover ( teaching). I'll never forgive her. 😬.
I'd like to do a couple of glasses but I know without even trying, that's impossible for me.
@Mykittensmittens every cloud. Sounds awful. I've never had it 🤞. Hope you're feeling better soon.
@Nowstrong day 10 is brilliant, well done. You sound motivated for your holiday and in the right frame of mind - that's more than half the battle IMHO.
@Bigbus that's great that you're treating yourself on holiday, by not making yourself feel rubbish. It's actually a goal of mine - to go to Spain for 5 days, not drink, just hike, read and relax.
I hope I can do that one day.

@Mykittensmittens go for it, why not ? I use a notebook or put an A4 list on my wall, so it's the first thing I see. It's great to see all the ticks. Sometimes I do it for the month and if I've only drank say, twice, it motivates me looking at the big picture.

I managed to stay AF this week despite feeling quite strong urges to drink. Last night was the exception as I was out at my piano lesson over the prime craving time. I was home alone after that - and ate rubbish instead, which I didn't particularly enjoy - same story with the booze. It must be the same thing driving it? I had a starter of fruit and nut chocolate (a whole 110 g bar), macaroni cheese and salad for main and then a raspberry magnum for pudding. I can only imagine what ZOE would've made of that...because of course, I didn't log it. I think I will do that now though...so I can be face up to the reality of it!

On a more positive note my increase in piano practice paid off this week - just need to keep it up...AND make the effort to eat healthily (which I prefer - it is pure laziness/self sabotage not to) AND stay off the booze by distracting myself with productive tasks and activities I enjoy rather than screen time and junk food....and so on...I'm not giving up!

I use my phone calender! It is very satisfying.

Afternoon all.
Sorry not to post much. I started a new job three weeks ago. Big London commute and toxic colleague from day one. I fell off the wagon a fortnight ago. I downed a bottle of grog. Talked rubbish and went to bed. Not repeated. I am too tired even to go shopping.

@WendyWagon no worries, was just hoping you were ok. Sorry to hear about the toxic colleague. They're the bloody worse. No idea where some people get off. Hope things improve. ❤