The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

Thank you @Blackberryblossom . Glad your mum is home and improving. This mindfulness idea is interesting- I’m trying to focus more on the present moment in any situation which I am finding helpful.

And thank you for the link @stilldumdedumming - I will try to make space to have a listen, I had a crazily busy weekend. Sorry you were sad last night. I can’t remember who said “Life is tough, my darling, but so are you” - I gave a card with it on to my DD last year, and she still has it on her wall.

We’re facing all this shit sober, which makes us awesome, in my view.

@Onewildandpreciouslife love the card words. Very useful.

Hello one and all, been lurking but not really posted for a while. Nothing much going on, still trying and failing miserably to tackle my sugar addiction. I really do see a lot of the worrying behaviour I had with alcohol resurfacing with sugar (the all or nothing / the blow outs / the not wanting to eat shit but doing so anyway and then feeling sad and angry and guilty etc. It's all so reminiscent of how I was with wine!!)

I knew being AF wouldn't be a quick fix but fuck me I am fatter and sadder than I was before (well I am def fatter!! objectively I know I am not sadder)

We had a big family party at the weekend and it was hard bloody work. Although I was never a daytime drinker and I actually had no urge to drink I just felt a bit miserable. Not drinking hasn't changed the way I feel about myself and my lack of self confidence. It's all a lot more complicated than I ever really expected.

On the upside, even on my most crappest AF free day I know I feel better and I am better than I ever was on my "best" drinking day.

I paraphrase the lovely WendyW - I am but a work in progress

Ah crunchy, i too am fatter than pre AF days, to be fair I am also fatter than when I smoked.. and before i had kids, before I stopped gluten, got married, menopause... the list goes on. Sugar is a crutch, and not a great one, but i am still healthier, whilst the highs are not as high as drinking days the lows are certainly few and far between and nowhere near as low.

Wendy, glad the move is finally complete, will message to arrange breakfast catch up.

I've lost track of the newbies, so sorry, covid was a bugger last week but pleased to say i recovered A LOT quicker this time around and i am taking that as a win for being AF!

Clear scans. Whoop whoop!

@Onewildandpreciouslife hoorah for you. Sending love xxx

Hi, may I join? Long time lurker. Today is day 1 again, maybe stating it here for accountability will make it stick this time. Did 5 weeks at the start of the year and felt so much better. I'm so fed up with the cycle of thoughts and being disappointed in myself I really need to crack it this time. Some of the rules and excuses I've made up for myself are ridiculous and exhausting. I need to be be a better wife and mother. Thank you for this thread

Hellooooo! Lurking here still going strong. House renovations taking over my life and upped my working hours so less time for anything but doing great. Will have a good catch-up read later this evening when I'm in bed with my hot chocolate 🥰 much love xx

@Onewildandpreciouslife that is wonderful news x

@Fantasymanfantasyman of course you are welcome, have a read back and you will see we have all been through the making rules and managing moderation pain (an inevitable failure) so you are not alone. Honestly not ever having that first drink is SO much easier.

excellent news @Onewildandpreciouslife - whoop , whoop indeed.

Glad you are feeling better @Fortheloveofgodwhy

@Fantasymanfantasyman welcome.
Ah the deals we make to participate in the drinking games.
Mine was no school nights (I fudged that by starting at 5pm and working out how alcohol left the body). Sober as a judge by 5pm the next morning (not, hum, many of them as my learned friends will confirm).
No work events, ditto I went to work for an alcoholic! Great fun until it wasn't.
Filling bottles with water and putting them back in the fridge. My DD clocked that one.
I could go on. I drank a little too much, 🕉 yeah sure and some. The first 100 days is a revelation. You will feel like you are walking on sunshine. Let the light in. It is life changing I promise you.
End of sermon. I am bum sitting folks.

Thank you @WendyWagon @Fortheloveofgodwhy I don't have anyone irl to talk to about this so glad I have here to come to. Im a binge drinker who can go days occasionally weeks without then think nothing of having vodka instead of breakfast as i don't drink daily, i tell myself it's fine. But it isn't I was sick before my young ds was even in bed last night (he didnt know) but it was fine to be day drinking as it was sunny. so things have got change or they will get worse.

Good to hear from you @rockingbird ! I was wondering how you were when I posted about changing usernames at the weekend

Welcome @Fantasymanfantasyman ! I have a really vivid memory of standing in the shower thinking “I’m sure it’s not normal to think about drinking this much”. You can be a much better YOU without alcohol

@Fantasymanfantasyman I don't have anyone IRL either, apart from the dog. Welcome to you. You will be heard and valued here. This is one of my favourite online spaces now. It genuinely helps me and I value every post that's shared here, knowing that we are all pulling together at the oars of our lifeboat in the same direction. I fail sometimes but I don't cease to try. We can defeat this, we are strong. Keep going.

Strength and love to all xx

Thank you @REP22 and @Onewildandpreciouslife I downloaded episodes of sober podcasts (sober awkward and one for the rd) for the first time as I've seen them previously recommended but argued in my head they weren't for me but this is me trying harder this time.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Hi everyone! Just checking in. Still sober and loving it.

Reading these posts has reminded me of all the internal dialogue around drinking. The promises. The bargaining. The disgust and self loathing.

I very rarely even think about it now. I suppose I do at least once a day as I have a Dry App notification goes off at 6pm. I don’t want to disable it as it’s part of my new routine which is working.

I have been making plans for long lazy beach bar lunches over the BH weekend, and it’s so nice to think I can get home safely, and won’t ruin the weekend feeling like 💩💩💩🤢🤢🤢

Hello everyone, I’d like to join you if I can. I was on this thread a long time ago and found it so helpful. But I fell off. Like @Fantasymanfantasyman said I am now so tired of being disappointed with myself. And sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I’m going to read back through some of the wisdom on these threads but for now just wanted to post and make this real. I’ve had enough - it’s day 2 for me today.

There are so many good things in my life - shouldn’t they be enough? Alcohol just seems to steal the good things from me.

Hi @Cyllie33 day 2 for me too. Posting on here is diffinately a positive step that makes it more real. Take care x

Evening all (as a coppers daughter it always makes me laugh).
I was taken ill last night. I had the shivers and had to go to bed. The DH thinks I was effected by cleaning mould at the flat. I nearly died in 2015 when I developed pneumonia through a rental that was later condemned. The building had a very dangerous type of mould growth. I feel a bit better tonight but I was on the verge of tears all day. We had a lot of abuse as tenants and I think after the stalker landlord I have a touch of PTSD (not to make light of the condition). My BFF came and cheered me up. I am scoffing sourdough bread which she brought and I love. No one else likes it but me. No boxes were unpacked today and I didn't feel the need to get bladdered.
@Cyllie33 welcome.

I'm getting on for two years free now. I was bad - and covid made things worse. Was at home all day, on 90% salary for 18 months after being laid off. Super strong lager. Cans dumped in public bins when I was allowed my daily walk. Open a tin last thing at night so the wife wouldn't hear me open one first thing in the morning. All the tricks.

Got treatment. Most importantly, I told all my friends and my family. They knew I drank too much, but was a nice drunk - never aggressive or anything. Just a nce drunk slowly killing themselves.

Thankfully the gen-Zers have created a market here for Zero beer. I can go out with friends; they wouldn't dare try to trick me. At family get togethers they have some Zero beer in for me. I may or may not even drink it. I'm 100% committed and confident. I also have the guards up permanently. My family and friends are part of my army. Telling them was the best thing I did. hey could see when I was drinking too heavily; now they can see the opposite and I can't let them down. It would be a betrayal of their support.

@WendyWagon I thought you were a Pirates daughter!!!!!?????

Well done ITHead. I have only been sober this year but am looking forward to the six months mark end of June.

@Onewildandpreciouslife amazing news, so happy for you!!

@WendyWagon hope you're feeling better soon, that sounds unpleasant

Welcome to the new joiners! I'm still quite new - day 23 for me. The first few weeks were hardest, it's been much better since. The internal dialogue has calmed down a lot which is nice. My biggest challenge at the moment is not listening when the dialogue is saying "look how well you've done, you probably over-reacted, why not just have a few drinks every now and then, you're in control". Because it'll go from special occasions to weekends to most nights again within months.

Anyone seen this article on sobriety in the Guardian? (Link below) Made me think of you guys🙂👍

This paragraph especially rang true:

”Having to feel my damn feelings without filters compels me to face and change the things in my life that keep me stuck. Hard work all around, but as my reward, I connect more deeply with the people I care about, and I no longer tolerate toxic patterns I once accepted as my due. I think of not drinking as a kindness I’ve given myself, one I deeply needed but didn’t think I deserved. And to my surprise, it’s rewarded me with true, hard-won happiness.”

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2023/may/23/sober-happy-not-drinking?CMP=fb_gu&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR0XVJwBLGRSGCyv1lc-XhjmtYUydSsvn6h4pT3ya8OF0VSkq5_KVaEXSFk_aem_th_AdbVXKq4NbwGVrSfvJTqsiH68Zgsa-WlVbiqfMCEQ2PP0JA_vFOpSG6HJZb5oaxRS5Y#Echobox=1684844106

Hope everyone is well, am waving at all the oldies 👋 😀 and welcome newbies too😀

That's a great article, thanks @BunniesBunniesBunnies