The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

I'm sort of running the two side by side. On the one hand I haven't had a drink checks app for five months and 25 days. On the other hand I haven't had a drink since 30 April last year, except for ...

Odd few days here. They're doing lung health checks in our area. I stopped smoking 12 years ago, but I went along and now I have a letter telling me I have emphysema, although I have no symptoms at all. Now waiting to see if our useless GP surgery contact me.

Then phone call from DD1 last night. XDP has started drinking again after ten years sober, and is currently on a binge. Last time we were here, he had a massive GI bleed and was lucky to survive. My feelings for him are deep and complex, even though we have been apart now for 26 years, so it's all a bit difficult, to say the least. I think the main emotion at the moment though is disappointment. After a lifetime of problems with alcohol, we really thought he'd cracked it, but no. He's done exactly the same now as he did in the Nineties.

@TheOtherHotstepper sorry to hear about your X. That must be hard to take. Sorry also about the lung results, hope there's better news to come.

Strength and love to all. x

@TheOtherHotstepper sounds like a bit of a basket of shite to handle at the moment. Sending you some strength.

@REP22 a blip is a blip. It sure how many nights you need to drink to classify it as more than a blip but why not keep two tally’s like T’other

Covid still rife here, just plodding on day by day.

Well done all

Had a slip up on Saturday

But back on it and so much happier with out it xxx

So sorry @TheOtherHotstepper I hope it’s all manageable.

I know what you mean @REP22. I am using the TryDry app and on that have been sober since 31 Dec last year. I actually have had two tequila shots and an Irish coffee this year, but to me, that’s so inconsequential compared to my previous consumption. It’s like counting a sherry trifle as a blip!!

I’m not drinking alone or secretly, so it’s all been visible, and accounted for here, but I’ll be buggered if I’ll let those few units derail me from my “achievement”

@thisisasurvivor have you identified what caused it?

KOKO everyone.

Thanks @Fortheloveofgodwhy and @rothbury x Yes, it was a blip to be sure, and I had been doing really well. I think I got myself into a bit of a state.

I will have to have some medical tests around the end of August, which will include a blood test. That's OK, but having had a drink at the weekend I got myself into a spiral of panic and despair that it would somehow show up in my blood test results in 3 months' time. Totally irrational I know, but then I am not always rational in getting personal things in perspective. A small failure adds up to an utter failure in my own inner eye. I've had lots of help to deal with these sorts of thoughts, but still I do it to myself. "You've made a bit of a mistake/a blip" = "You have completely and utterly failed and will be punished for what you've done", according to my internal script-editor... Git that she is.

But you are totally right - a few units should not derail or distort the bigger picture. At the rate I was going at one point a few years ago, I really have no business still being alive. I am very (undeservedly) lucky. Thanks @rothbury, for your sound words and kind encouragement.

But I will dust myself down and keep going. Another lesson learned. Ever onwards. x

@MerylSqueak and @thisisasurvivor waves to fellow blip-survivors. 👋It will be alright; we can do this. xx

Sorry lads not much support from me this afternoon. I have had a chain of difficult emails to deal with. No requirement to booze them away but I don't deal well with aggressive males. I am very upset.
I will be back in the saddle tomorrow.

@WendyWagon I am so sorry, for the emails and the aggression. It's not fair that you have to deal with that. Strength and love to you on all counts. x

That’s shit @WendyWagon

Can you sleep on any of it?

Morning all.
Thanks for the support lads. I haven't had another mail overnight.
I did have a good straight through sleep.
We are on the home run of the move. A couple more car loads and carpet shampooing today. I am not back to work until next week.
My house sign is here so I intend to get the drill out.

I hope it all goes well @WendyWagon and whoever is annoying you has properly stopped.

@REP22 thank you. Maybe the best thing about a blip is definitely not being tempted now!

@REP22 - I recognise that "all or nothing" voice. Sometimes it can be helpful to get me to do things well but sometimes it is extremely unhelpful and can lead me to catastrophising about minor misdemeanours.

I find it helpful to make myself think - what would I say to help someone in my position - would I tell them how useless they were and how they were a complete idiot or would I offer positive words of encouragement ?

I know this can feel a bit forced sometimes but it does help if you keep doing it.

@WendyWagon - sorry to hear about rubbish emails. Hope today is better.

All good with me. I'm on day 37 and soon to be going on my holiday. So I'm gearing myself up to deal with those "its a holiday, give yourself a break" type thoughts that are likely to surface.

Just checking in! Sorry I’ve been so absent it has been a bit of a busy and overwhelming time. @TheOtherHotstepper sounds like you’re going through it as well. Sending you lots of strength - And to anyone else who needs it!

@WendyWagon pretend you are using that drill on the 'nads of your aggressive males/emailers... that might help... 😈😉

Thank you for the wise counsel @Cherrymix. Honestly, this thread is such a blessing. Waves also to @BunniesBunniesBunnies, hope all is well in your burrow.

I managed to not put any weight on this week (it was the Sword of Damocles of Slimming World last night). I haven't lost any either, but am glad that I've stayed the same. I am feeling better in mind and milkshake than I was, so the fightback begins. Ever onwards.

Strength and love to you all. x

Thanks everyone. XDP is now on Day 3 or 4, I'm not sure which, of his binge. If it's like it used to be, he will drink enough to stay basically passed out until someone calls an ambulance. In the past it has required professional cleaners to deal with the blood and vomit once he was out of the house. Of course, he is not my problem, but his DDs are struggling. Alcoholism is such a selfish disease.

Posted too soon. I'm off to watch the football.

Quick check in from me - day 16 and feeling good. I'm away this weekend but it's not with a particularly boozy group so feeling OK about it. Hope everyone is doing OK and moving briskly past any blips.

I’m tucked up in bed with a hot chocolate. Very early start for work (5.30) which suits me as an early bird.

I’ve had a cold the past few days; banging head, dreadfully tired etc. It’s so weird knowing I am actually ill, rather than it just being my usual hungover state 😳

Hello @TheOtherHotstepper - I just wanted to wish you some love for your DDs and you as you help them navigate how their dad is. He's not your responsibility but it must be pretty hard on you. The one thing about you not drinking is that you are properly present for them.
Day 18 for me.

I am just dropping in with a small win. My mum had to have an op after a bad fall. She was discharged today, so that bit is better, but there is some worry over her health. DH is not doing the best job of allaying my worries, bless him, and of course we always flood with adrenaline really fast but then it takes ages to drain away again. Anyway, I found myself in the kitchen, in exactly the place where I would have used to mix a generous G&T to opt out of feeling down. I looked at the alcohol free gin and decided what I needed was a cup of tea and some quiet time to let my discomfort be. So I did that. It’s ok.
Thinking of you @TheOtherHotstepper .

Checking in! Still AF. Can't see I would ever go back. What a feeling that is!

@TheOtherHotstepper - the situation with your XDP sounds awful - it must be hard to see what has happened to someone who was important to you even though many years have passed.

Well done to all for small wins. They all add up to better days.

Went to a local event this evening where everyone was drinking wine - had a coffee. Night all & sweet dreams

Ah!
enjoy that feeling - you earned it 💐

Morning all.
Still going, still packing and loading🙁

Well done to all the shipmates riding the stormy seas. I am not a lover of milk shake although I drink the white stuff by the pint!
@TheOtherHotstepper sending strength to you and your girls.