The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

I just googled inspirational quotes to try to help you. Have got them all a bit muddled but essentially - the only mistakes you really make are the ones you don't learn from. It's a blip. Write down how you feel. Look after yourself, eat healthily, drink lots of water, and get outside. Early night tonight and off you go again. I don't know how long you'd stayed on the wagon but you're here and determined and I guess sometimes it does help to remind ourselves of why we are doing something. Consider your blip an experiment and you've found out the results so can build on that. I think the guilt cam often make you feel physically worse so accept it, deal with it, shelve it, and move forward. Xxx

@MerylSqueak tis hard this sober lark. But you need to put it behind you. If you were cycling the Tour de France you wouldn't go back to the beginning if you fell off! For me when I have had a wagon fall it is a nasty business. I can't sleep and it takes two days to feel better. I also look like hell and as I wrinkle free 57 year old I am not giving that up for the bloated face I had in 2021. We are surrounded by drink in this country but I do think the tide is turning. Younger people don't seem that interested and I have noted the marketeers are trying to hook them (think a well known vodka with cool people dancing). It use to be mums having gin now it is young 20 somethings. I noted no AF version! Eat fish, drink lots of water and go forth with renewed vigor.

Thank you all. It's clear to me now that my triggers are either feeling ill or feeling really happy. Last night was happy. Not so much now.

Oh. And eating beef. Red wine and beef are hard wired like wine and cheese for you @WendyWagon

@MerylSqueak agree with the others, try and see it as a blip and put it behind you. I sympathise, I also have very strong associations with wine and certain foods.

I'm having a much better day today than yesterday. I had a really good night's sleep and felt much more present and engaged with the kids at their swimming lesson this morning.

Then I treated myself to a Chinese this evening and walked with the kids in the lovely bright spring evening. By that time I'd have had a glass or two of wine normally, it was nice to really appreciate it clearly.

Just a few minor things but nice to bank them in the positive column.

Morning all.
Off with the DH and a van to get last bits from the flat today. Cleaners later in the week. I saw my cousin yesterday and she didn't bring wine, we had a cup of tea!

@SoberPony welcome. I am sorry I missed the post yesterday. We are a jolly bunch. We are made up of long time posters 3+ years and newbies. Ask any questions you need to. Nothing is silly. We all have a back story so tend to air a few things on this thread as people are so kind.

Not at all @WendyWagon! I'm enjoying the thread. Thanks for the welcome 😊

Urgh. I have covid. Urgh is how I feel. Way worse than last time 🙄. Anyway non of that makes a difference for the non drinking thing but I am having a man flu day and telling everyone..

Proud of myself that my husband bought home a bottle of wine for me (he didn't realise I wasn't drinking) and I resisted it! I'd been fine up until that point but did waver significantly when it was in the house. One of my main motivators is for the kids to not see me drinking regularly so I told myself I might have a glass when they went to bed but not before. Then I watched a film with them and by then just wanted to sleep and that was that. Possibly not the best approach but it worked and also by not saying i absolutely couldn't have it I guess I wasn't restricting myself. Not sure if that makes sense?! Also I KNOW that it's just that initial pleasure and then you're just chasing that so definitely had a battle of wills with myself! It was difficult and I really could have done without the inner turmoil but was very pleased this morning. Seven days today if when I get to the end of it!

@Fortheloveofgodwhy - poor you . Covid is rubbish - but maybe a good reason to loll about and do nothing while family members wait on you hand and foot (if they haven't got it). Definately dial up the need for TLC.

I'm on day 33 now and feeling good. DH has started drinking again - I was tempted but just kept thinking that his wine might not taste very nice and then it would be a disappointment after all my hard work.

Re Blips/ lapses whatever - I read an analogy about a computer learning chess - if it makes a mistake it just "thinks" - ok don't do that again but doesn't spend several hours/ days beating itself up and thinking it is an idiot.

Learn from it - what set you off? how can you avoid that? if unavoidable could you do something else instead of drinking? if the worse comes to the worse check out "Urge Surfing" on You Tube.

I had a huge self induced panic about something the other night - would have normally made me reach for the wine. Instead I sat there on the sofa quietly panicking which was not nice but thinking "this will pass". It did.

Getting ready for a short break so am busy writing packing lists - I love looking forward to holidays.

Have a great Sunday all.

Hi all.

Glad to see this thread. I'm wondering I can both help and be helped by share experiences.

Long-term drinker. The sociable type. Managed to hang easily enough on to jobs, was sporty at a high level, no problem; eh?

Moved abroad. No drinking pals. Covid arrived. Now it became obvious. Strong lager all day. Hidden cans disposed of in public bins etc. I wasn't enjoying it at all. Tried giving up without medical supervision. Three times, each ending with a seizure.

So I went to a clinic. Let out after five weeks. Dry two years. I let everyone know - family, friends etc. Now if I'm out, they respect me and don't try to slip me a drink. I can go into bars and drink a Zero (thanks, Gen-Zers for creating that market). All very well and good.

Am I cured? I don't think so. I read about people falling off the wagon after a few years. Now, I have no desire whatever to drink. Not in the least. That's a concern. Is it merely buried? Will it emerge again? I'm equipped to deal with it - I think - but who knows?

In the meantime, I am happily healthier, wealthier, and up with the dawn. I've also attended various family events - celebrations and bereavements - without issues.

My advice, for what it's worth: get medical advice if you have a problem. Don't try it on your own. You may need medication to get you through the early stages.

Good luck!

@ITHead welcome. Sobering thoughts indeed.
I personally don't think I am cured but I spend less time thinking about drinking and more about staying alive!
I didn't need medication but I did need counselling. I try to remember to be proud of myself, I was a mess. I am not anymore.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy thinking of you x

Can I ask about my low mood? I am two weeks in and I am definitely feeling better physically. I can see that quite clearly. But I feel so low - like I am stuck with my feelings and I can't do anything about it. I didn't drink every day but several times a week and really loved a bottle of wine each time.

I also feel quite emotional
And a bit tearful. I do have a lot on (but don't we all quite honestly?)

Just wondering if this is familiar to anyone .

Morning shipmates!! I survived Eurovision sober and got my 6 months dry badge from the Try Dry app. I think I'm finally starting to see a completely alcohol free future - previously the idea of never drinking again horrified (?) me and made me really sad. But now it doesn't. I seem to have lost a very good friend along the way but hey ho.

The real test will be September and an all inclusive, child-free belated honeymoon.

Sorry to the previous poster who has COVID. I hope you feel better soon. I'm just getting over a nasty virus which knocked me out completely.

Happy Monday everyone!

I’m sorry you’re feeling low @stilldumdedumming . It can be really hard not to be able to escape from our feelings- and that escape is why a lot of us got into this mess! Stopping drinking alcohol is often the start of a continuing process because you have the space to process stuff you’ve been hiding from. Yes, we all have a lot on, but it’s ok to start to think about those issues and how you might address them. For me, still being low was the prompt to get HRT; for others it’s a nudge to get a therapist. One things for sure - alcohol does not make the problems go away, and causes plenty more of its own.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered yay for a sober Eurovision and yay for 6 months!

Morning all.
I am sore in places unbelievable!
Taking DD back to university this morning and then further moving gigs.
@MyGhastIsFlabbered i have lost two friends. One who lied to me and I was sober so I caught her. Tbh I think I was being pulled into her marital mess and as our landlord was her ex it wasn't a safe position to be in. We could have been homeless. I miss her because she was funny.
The other lady was a fast friend from 2018. Our daughters were at school together. We were both big drinkers. Friday was booze night. We had some very funny nights but she complained last year when I wouldn't pay for her drink when we were out to lunch. I said I'd pay for my lunch and AF. I have seen her once since. I had bought her a £100 a head lunch 6 weeks earlier. I have noticed this a lot recently. I use to get the drinks in so I could up the volume. Now that I am not socialising like that it exposes a lot of 'tight arses'! Congratulations on the six months.

Morning all. Friendly wave to you all, welcome to the new friends. x

Alas, I have had to hit 'reset' on the I Am Sober app. 😢It wasn't a massive bender - but it was a drink. I'm an utter idiot. Must try harder.

Strength and love to you all. x

@Fortheloveofgodwhy sorry about the Covid, hope you're on the mend very soon. x

@REP22 - do you need to go back to the beginning? Can you just think of it as a learning point?

I had a stupid argument with DH last night and this set me off on a big urge to break into the left over wine stash. Those inner voices really ramped up but I sat with it. Pushed myself to do something else, reminded myself it would go away.

And of course it did and I was able to chalk up another day on the app.

I feel quite proud of myself 😁

@Cherrymix I did think about that yes, but then I knew that whenever I saw my AF tally, my conscience would prick me. Hopefully this will help me to buck my ideas up...

Sorry about your argument, but top stuff for staying strong. All power to you. x

@REP22 put it behind you.
Today is a very new day.

Thanks @WendyWagon xx Hope the soreness is easing a bit and the new place is going well x