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Alcohol support

Holding myself accountable

143 replies

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 11/02/2023 12:58

Day 5

OP posts:
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 09/03/2023 06:57

For the last 3 nights my sick child has not only woken us early but also woken us at about 1am. So we’ve had broken and less sleep than normal. But when I was woken at 1 am I was able to get back to sleep within 5-30 minutes. That would have been unheard of if I was drinking that evening. Better parenting!

tonight we’re at a children’s play and will get back at 10ish. So will head straight to bed then.

How is everyone feeling today?

OP posts:
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 09/03/2023 22:27

Going to bed now. I had a good day overall but some things really p*ssed me off. I need to think about how I’m going to manage the weekend.

But looking at the positive- I’ve had more AF free days in the last 26 days than I had in January (and probably in 2022 if I’m being honest).

OP posts:
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 10/03/2023 09:00

This morning thoughts - I don’t get up with the children on Fridays. DH does that. I still wake up with them but just try to ignore them. What that’s meant in the past is that I think I can drink on Thursday evening - because I get a lie in (am wondering what the excuses were for the Sun-Wed drinking).

Having not had a drink for the past few Thursdays I’m now realising that I love my Friday lie in. Listening to the children potter around, the younger ones getting into the bed and cuddle me, chatting to the older ones before they leave for school. And a good nights sleep on top of that.

I’m getting up now for my shower.

OP posts:
IwasToldThereWouldBeCake · 10/03/2023 11:50

You are doing so well. Its great to sleep well and be present for the kids. I m sure you are feeling healthy and empowered.

I Havnt been 😬😬, there is no point in me lying about it. My excuse was: no childminding responsibilities, knew I had some easy work days this week, had horrendous bug for the last 3 + weeks and didn't have the energy to do anything social or pool/gym. I ve cut down to x3 glasses a night and bought lower % wine, it's the sheer boredom in the evening combined with not being well enough or warm enough to get out and do anything.

However I have lots of mummy duties for the next 7 days and have a work event in two weeks time, which I want to look nice for. I also want to rid myself of unnecessary anxiety, so I ve lots of momentum to go AF for the next week or two. I m looking forward to that and to hopefully start feeling and looking a little better.

Physical and mental health need to be prioritised xx

IwasToldThereWouldBeCake · 10/03/2023 11:55

Also my kids are teens, I realise they won't physically need me as much as time passes, so I need to fill my time with healthy pass times as otherwise I will have endless availability to sit around dipping and watching rubbish TV.

My mummy responsibilities these days are drop offs/collections to sport/cinema mostly..... Not too taxing. I need to police my own health and not excuse giving into temptations simply because I can get away with it, both in work and as a parent. I need to fill my time, now and into the future with healthy alternatives 🙂.

IwasToldThereWouldBeCake · 10/03/2023 11:56

*sipping

Dottedskull · 10/03/2023 12:45

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 10/03/2023 09:00

This morning thoughts - I don’t get up with the children on Fridays. DH does that. I still wake up with them but just try to ignore them. What that’s meant in the past is that I think I can drink on Thursday evening - because I get a lie in (am wondering what the excuses were for the Sun-Wed drinking).

Having not had a drink for the past few Thursdays I’m now realising that I love my Friday lie in. Listening to the children potter around, the younger ones getting into the bed and cuddle me, chatting to the older ones before they leave for school. And a good nights sleep on top of that.

I’m getting up now for my shower.

Glad to hear your sleeping has improved, it has such a profound impact on us pos or negative. And that morning sounds absolutely wonderful having a cuddle/chat with your kids whilst your clear headed!
That sounds great, definitely agree it's a good idea to think about AF days overall. I always used to be hung up on whenever I'd had a relapse and would be back at 'day 1'. In my head I've started this serious attempt in Oct 22 as that's when I had a massive shift in mindset. I also keep 2 widgets on my phone screen, one counts consecutive AF days. The other has been ticking over for 136 days and I add to it whenever I have a drink so I can easily see straight away how many sober days compared to drinking days.

rockmygypsysoul · 10/03/2023 12:52

Oh dear, name change fail apparently haha. I did change it on the website but doesn't seem to do it automatically on app.

I'm still sober. Yesterday I had work for a few hours in the morning and then met family for a coffee and a mooch around the shops.
Went to B&Q this morn, having the rest of the day in the house to recharge today.
I've been sanding the stairs this morning, ready to paint them soon. Feels really satisfying improving the house. Haven't had any alcohol cravings really, just fleeting thoughts. I had to mute group chat notifications Wed's because that felt a bit too much to hear my friends arranging meeting at the pub.

Dottedskull · 10/03/2023 13:02

IwasToldThereWouldBeCake · 10/03/2023 11:55

Also my kids are teens, I realise they won't physically need me as much as time passes, so I need to fill my time with healthy pass times as otherwise I will have endless availability to sit around dipping and watching rubbish TV.

My mummy responsibilities these days are drop offs/collections to sport/cinema mostly..... Not too taxing. I need to police my own health and not excuse giving into temptations simply because I can get away with it, both in work and as a parent. I need to fill my time, now and into the future with healthy alternatives 🙂.

You sound really positive and determined 😊. What ideas do you have for hobbies? I definitely resonate with drinking because I can get away with it. Convincing myself it's OK to have just a little because I have an easy day next. But in the long run I'm only really cheating myself and my son is the one paying the price with having a mummy who isn't at her best.
No more!!

IwasToldThereWouldBeCake · 10/03/2023 14:40

No more!!! Yay 🙂

Aqua arobics
Cinema
Music gig..... But I guess that usually involves the potential of a few drinks, might park that for a while.

Maybe I should take up a cookery class.... I ll have to think about it 🙂🙂. Happy Friday all xxx

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 11/03/2023 08:51

I chased the high last night. As a result I didn’t get a good nights rest. Yes I slept but it was that coma sleep. I offered doing drop offs for the older children’s friends to ensure that I couldn’t drink but once that was done I ended up having a drink. Yes the first 20 mins were nice but I ended up having far too much. Darn.

OP posts:
IwasToldThereWouldBeCake · 13/03/2023 20:47

Hey 👋👋,

Nothing tonight, gonna go to bed early.

I was literally lightheaded all weekend, don't know if that's due to peri dizziness, brain fog, whatever bug I had, dehydration..... God knows what.

Off to bed early tonight, will put a hot water bottle in bed, and hope to God, I nod off and get a decent night's sleep.

Hope you are feeling well today and tonight.

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 13/03/2023 22:12

Hi back! I hope you’re feeling better in the morning.

I still haven’t cracked the weekends. But I do feel that the weekdays are easier. I don’t feel that I WANT a drink in the evenings.

OP posts:
IwasToldThereWouldBeCake · 13/03/2023 23:16

That's awesome!!!......

I got a teeny twinge of an urge at around 8 pm tonight, it just seems to early for bed, and the opportune time for R&R 😬😬😬, but it's not that hard to ignore, anything distracts me really.

It's pure, flipping, (working.... But evening time housewife) boredom.

I m delighted to be in bed with my water diluted with Ribena.

IwasToldThereWouldBeCake · 14/03/2023 07:10

Good morning!!!,

OMG what an amazing night's sleep. I feel so rested. I needed it soooo much. Phew.

Hope you have a great day!!!

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 14/03/2023 07:35

Morning! I never get a good nights sleep the first night going to bed without alcohol. I think that I self sabotage and doom scroll (until 3am). So I’m looking forward to tonight’s sleep!

OP posts:
IwasToldThereWouldBeCake · 14/03/2023 11:32

Get herbal melatonin tablets... 28 euro for 30 ish pack, nodded me off last night, they don't always work, but they are a help.

Have a great day

TigerMog · 14/03/2023 16:02

Try magnesium glycinate for sleep

Battlecat98 · 14/03/2023 17:11

Hi all. Nearly cracked and bought wine on the way home, been a tough couple of days but, it will still be tough with the wine, bought copious amounts of chocolate instead.

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 14/03/2023 22:29

Thanks for the sleep tips. It’s only ever the first sober night - after that night I just roll over and fall asleep easily.

well did @Battlecat98 - that’s the ticket!

OP posts:
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 15/03/2023 06:17

A lovely nights sleep last night!

OP posts:
Candleabra · 15/03/2023 07:48

That’s brilliant. Well done.

Icecreamandapplepie · 15/03/2023 08:05

This is the best thread I've read on kicking the booze. Op, the reasons you give, the way you explain the benefits- they are exactly why I need to give up too. I also am mid forties. Been drinking wine pretty much daily for years and years (except when pregnant).
On a good day, its half a bottle, on a bad day its a bottle. Once or twice a month its a bottle and a half.
Your thread has really inspired me, thankyou.

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 15/03/2023 20:47

I DID IT! I found today I was in a shitty mood for most of it and this evening I was antsy and really wanted a drink. I wanted to head to the shops for a bottle of wine for about 2.5 hours. I thought about heading out to a bay for a drink which I never do. (So much for having the weekdays sorted 🙄). But…

I made it.

I’m in bed, teeth done and concentrating on my crochet.

I’m proud of myself.

welcome to the thread @Vintagecreamandcottagepie Keep us posted.

Thanks @Candleabra I’m looking forward to another good night’s sleep tonight.

OP posts:
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 16/03/2023 09:27

It’sa back holiday in Ireland today for Paddys Day. So it will be a challenge.

But I’d like to take the children out tomorrow and it is going to be easier to do that if I don’t drink tonight. So I have a goal.

I’m already feeling wobbly about it though.

I do not like this. I don’t like being beholden to alcohol. How on Earth did I let it get this hold of me? It’s not what I want.

OP posts:
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