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Alcohol support

Holding myself accountable

143 replies

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 11/02/2023 12:58

Day 5

OP posts:
Amdone123 · 20/02/2023 07:16

@HoldingMyselfAccountable , you're doing brilliantly.
Don't focus on the blip. Focus on the 9 af days you had before the blip.
Keep going. ❤️

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 20/02/2023 11:24

Wow. Thanks for all your kind messages and for joining me.

I was so arrogant thinking that I was strong and I wouldn’t slip up. I had no problem giving up when I’m pregnant but I’m eating humble pie now.

I would love to be able to drink sensibly but I don’t seem to have an “off” button. It’s all or nothing. So it has to be nothing.

OP posts:
BeetlesForever · 20/02/2023 13:00

Don't beat yourself up. We've all been there. Don't discount your sober days. Make today Day 10. And keep on going on!

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 20/02/2023 20:20

Day 1 (Running total 10!) completed

OP posts:
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 21/02/2023 12:29

Day 2

OP posts:
brightspice · 21/02/2023 13:35

Hi OP

How does ‘Day 1. Fuck’ make you feel?

How would ‘Day 10, here’s what I learned about yesterday’ feel?

The key in changing your relationship with habit is to have your own back at every step of the journey. Because then you can learn from yourself, learn what worked and what you can try to do next time.

You can have all the tips and tricks and hacks in the world but we’re all different, we all drink for different reasons and we need to find our own way through this.

So my challenge to you is to go back to yesterday. All of it. Run through everything that happened, find out when you took the decision to drink or when you found yourself drinking and ask what could you do differently next time?

My podcast ’90 Days Later’ covers the topic of stopping overdrinking (taken from what I learned and what I teach my clients). Episode 31 ‘Break the Failure loop’ would be a great place for you to start.

Know you can do this.

BeetlesForever · 21/02/2023 16:33

Make today Day 11. Please!

I'm sure it'll make yourself feel bad if you reset after every single misstep.

Did you listen to Annie Grace (in my post above).

You've had one set-back. It's not the end of the world.

You can do this 💐

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 21/02/2023 21:09

@brightspice thanks for that. Challenge accepted.

It was because I was going to my in-laws. They’re lovely but generous with the wine. It felt “easy” to accept the first glass and, honestly, it felt as if it might to be difficult to decline. I didn’t say that it was difficult just that it felt that it might be difficult. In other words - I didn’t really try to say no or even convince myself that saying no was the right thing for me to do.

I’ll listen to the podcast on a walk over the next few days.

@BeetlesForever Finished 11!

@Amdone123 thank you.

@Battlecat98 are we still in step with each other? Well done on your 12 months.

@Anapana How are you doing today?

@TigerMog are you here too?

OP posts:
TigerMog · 21/02/2023 21:10

I'm here! On my day 2 . I've also followed the podcast up thread. Solidarity!

Battlecat98 · 21/02/2023 21:39

@HoldingMyselfAccountable yes we are. On to day 4 woohoo.

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 22/02/2023 08:13

Good morning!

OP posts:
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 22/02/2023 21:49

@TigerMog and @Battlecat98 will done both!

Am in bed now. Had a mixed day. Got very stressed about a number of things. I know I’m very concerned about new that’s coming on Friday so other things are hitting my stress levels more than they usually would.

But I’m not “hiding” with alcohol. I have to face these things. I’m an adult (46 years old) and need to act like one.

OP posts:
Battlecat98 · 22/02/2023 22:06

@HolHoldingMyselfAccountable eventually, I found facing things head on without a hangover, or that awful self loathing made life simpler. I hope, whatever news you are waiting for on Friday is what you want. Alcohol just numbs, it does not heal. Be kind to yourself.

BeetlesForever · 22/02/2023 23:05

It has been eight and a half years. So worth it.

KOKO @HoldingMyselfAccountable 😎

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 23/02/2023 07:50

@BeetlesForever @Battlecat98 thanks both!

Thursday - my neighbour is calling around for a quick catch up this morning. Busy day at work planned. I’ll fit in a few walks hopefully - one to drop the younger children to school, one with an older child and hopefully one being able to listen to a sobriety podcast.

I’ll hopefully be able to bring my stress level under control (and thereby my blood pressure also)

OP posts:
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 24/02/2023 05:04

Good morning!

OP posts:
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 24/02/2023 07:22

Woke up early and went back to sleep for myself! Lovely

OP posts:
Battlecat98 · 24/02/2023 18:02

@HoldingMyselfAccountable that is always a great start to the day. How is your evening so far?

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 25/02/2023 09:04

Morning @Battlecat98
I got my news yesterday and it was better than I had expected. I’m still processing as there were some negative bits.

I went out for a meal yesterday and there was paired wines with the courses and I ended up having it. I did consider turning it down though, so I am further along than last weekend! I’m slightly disappointed in myself but I’m not going to drink tonight.

So Day 1 again but with more AF days than not in the last 14 days.

OP posts:
Battlecat98 · 25/02/2023 09:47

Hi @HoldingMyselfAccountable
Don't be too disappointed it's the toughest thing. I find it's a bit like trial and error. When I first decided not to drink I avoided all social occasions and any risk of drinking.
I decided to allow myself a few drinks at Christmas and reset my relationship with alcohol. That does not work for everyone and I now need to decide how I want to move forward.
Hope you have a good day 😊.

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 25/02/2023 10:50

@Battlecat98 I have a busy day with the children: GAA (am in Ireland) and gymnastics displays, volleyball, Childrens birthday parties to bring some children to. The afternoon will be fairly free so am planning some diy projects.

I don’t think I’ll be able to reset my relationship so am planning on cutting it out. I will have to think about not attending situations in order achieve this. I’m heading to bed early each night so that I’m not falling back into the habit of sitting down with a glass in the evening.

OP posts:
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 27/02/2023 18:59

Saturday was such a busy day. I was on the road from 9am to 9.30. I bought myself a bottle of wine. Stupidly. Because I wanted to get drunk. Stupid.

Yesterday and today were AF.

OP posts:
IwasToldThereWouldBeCake · 27/02/2023 21:48

Hey, you are getting more AF days than usual, it's good.

I gave up alcohol for lent which started last Wednesday. Was tempted to have wine last Monday (last hurrah before lent)..... But then I had some Thursday night too, as I knew I ld be busy all the following (this) week.

Really was looking forward to wine on Sunday, even though I was off it for lent, just habit creeping back in. Even thought I was coming down with a cold or flu and was tempted to get a small nagging of whiskey 😬😬😬.... To ward off a cold or flu. I didn't..... Phew, was that my mind subconsciously finding a work around?

This evening I got a bottle of alcohol free wine. Have had 2.5 glasses and that enough. Will go to bed with a clear head. I m delighted I held off... Thrilled. The mind does play tricks on us. AF wine or beers might be handy to ward off any desire to give into temptation.

Mon: wine
Tue & Wed : AF
Thurs: wine
Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon: AF.

So in the last 8 days, I ve drunk wine twice, and I m now 4 days AF. Yay, delighted with myself.

I have a family occasion next Sat, probably will stay AF for it. Either way, it's great to cut down.

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 28/02/2023 06:04

@IwasToldThereWouldBeCake thanks for the support and well done to you too!

I think I might try the AF wine on Friday night. It will be hard to head to bed early on a Friday night so that might help keep me AF. Well that and I have a load of 12 year old to entertain for the evening.

I’m awake nice and early this morning but clear headed. No “regret” from the night before. Although I claimed that I don’t get hangovers as such, I don’t always have a clear head. I guess that’s my hangover. I have to stop saying that I didn’t get hangovers because it does affect me. I’m sort of slower the morning after. Honesty is important at this time

OP posts:
IwasToldThereWouldBeCake · 28/02/2023 09:03

Yes, you are human, you MUST be dehydrated and anxious after alcohol, we all are.

I slept sooooo much better the last two nights, I m taking a melatonin supplement to help sleep, between that and the no wine, I'm sleeping better.

I think we tell ourselves so many lies about drinking, it's effects, our excuses to drink. I m on day 5 no booze, and this is the longest I ve gone without alcohol in almost 2 years (and then it was only a break due to medical reasons!!! I had no choice - I went about 6 weeks booze free).

I feel like I have more energy already, can tackle some long neglected chores. Maybe even muster up the enthusiasm for an exercise class or a swim, or long energetic walk (not a slow trudge).

Deffo give the alcohol free wine or beers a go, it ll pass an evening. Xxx

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