Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Alcohol support

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Holding myself accountable

144 replies

HoldingMyselfAccountable · 11/02/2023 12:58

Day 5

OP posts:
Original poster
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 12/02/2023 12:25

Day 6
I don’t get hangovers or withdrawal symptoms (despite drinking a bottle of wine+ every night). I used to think this was great (and it probably was in my twenties) but it enables me to drink too much and too often.

But I’m mid forties and have just realised that I might have more time behind me than in front of me. And that I could be shortening my life CONSIDERABLY by keeping this up. And that’s scary and unfair in my partner and children.

I don’t want to be selfish anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 12/02/2023 20:58

Day 6 completed.
Got up early(ish) and has fresh fruit and yogurt for breakfast, watched some cooking shows while tidying the kitchen, went for two long walks, cooked a massive fish pie (will feed 12!), did French toast for the children, tidied the garden a little, listened to sobriety podcasts, did three loads of clothes washing, made a lovely salad with feta cheese and grapefruit for lunch. Tried to power wash my driveway but yes machine broke. Drank a tonne of water.

Allowed my two youngest to fall asleep in my bed while I cuddled them. And am now watching a film with my older children

A good day overall and am tired. I think the secret for me is to keep busy.

OP posts:
ODAAT260718 · 12/02/2023 21:12

You are doing brilliantly. Remember... One day at a time (or hour if you need to)

Summer2424 · 12/02/2023 21:19

Hi @HoldingMyselfAccountable well done! 😊 keep going, stay strong 💪
Keep us updated x
My Dad passed away suffering from of Alcohol addiction, it's so good to read positive posts x

Original poster
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 13/02/2023 08:03

Day 7
Thanks @Summer2424. I’m sorry about your dad.

Work day today and it’s going to be a very busy one as have a deadline this week. I plan on going for a few walks again if I have the time.

OP posts:
Original poster
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 13/02/2023 08:06

Thanks @ODAAT260718 I hear you - sometimes on my walk I’ve been tempted to go into the off licence. Listening to sobriety podcasts while walking has helped stave off that.

OP posts:
ODAAT260718 · 13/02/2023 08:11

@HoldingMyselfAccountable it might be helpful to follow the story through. So you buy a bottle of wine... Where does that lead? It will get easier as each day passes too.

Original poster
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 13/02/2023 23:09

Day 7 completed
I was right last night- today was manic in work. I was in the office for over 12 hours with only a couple of very short breaks. Back to back meetings. Got out for a walk at 21.45 with one of the children which I really enjoyed.

Tomorrow will be busy again.

The trick now is not to reward myself with getting the report returned on Wednesday. And tomorrow is Valentines so must prepare partner thatI won’t be drinking.

OP posts:
Original poster
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 14/02/2023 07:58

Day 8

Challenges for me this week -
Valentine’s Day
Big work bid completed
Possible bad news coming at the end of the week
Heading to stay on my in laws house and they are BIG on hosting and always have wine pouring

Gulp!

OP posts:
IwasToldThereWouldBeCake · 14/02/2023 08:03

Well done so far, keep being as diligent as you have been.

Tell in laws that you won't be drinking, doing dry Feb.

Tedjewell · 14/02/2023 17:49

Try keeping a daily inventory in sobriety where at the end of the day you note what you did wrong during the day and what you did right and then try and improve the next day.

BeetlesForever · 14/02/2023 17:58

I think the secret for me is to keep busy

This, plus envisaging what WOULD happen if you succumbed to temptation. Picture it in your mind. You know the first drink would be nice but the rest would be increasingly awful, and you'd regret it.

Also, shopping just once a week helps, but do it when you are feeling good about yourself.

Can you tell your partner that the greatest Valentine's gift he can give you is not to drink himself?

Have you listened to This Naked Mind (Annie Grace) and Alcohol Explained (William Porter)

Original poster
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 14/02/2023 21:58

Day 8 completed.

Was very busy during the day at work (12 hours!). Went for a quick walk at lunch and again in the evening with one of the older children. Had a gorgeous fish pie for dinner.

I’m so thirsty each and every day, despite normally drinking at least 4 pints of water a day. I’ve had to increase this to 6 pints for the past week.

Thanks all for your word of encouragement. I’ll have to root out those books.

OP posts:
Ndd135632 · 14/02/2023 22:59

You are doing so well. Keep going OP and best of luck, willpower and health.

Original poster
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 15/02/2023 07:15

Day 9

I slept really well last night. It’s lovely not waking up after 5 hours of self induced coma, being disoriented and then not being able to get back to sleep for another 45-90 minutes.

Instead I woke up after about 6 hours, checked the time, rolled over and easily got back to sleep for another 2 hours.

Yesterday I beat the Valentine challenge. That there are two more - bid completion and generous in laws who pour generously.

OP posts:
Folkishgal · 15/02/2023 07:34

You're doing amazing and (I know I don't know you personally) but I'm proud of you!! You've got this ❤️❤️

Thisisnotahotel · 15/02/2023 07:41

Keep going , you have got this ❤️

Original poster
HoldingMyselfAccountable · 20/02/2023 04:45

Day 1. Fuck

OP posts:
BeetlesForever · 20/02/2023 04:51

What has happened? 💐

junglemaze · 20/02/2023 04:58

Don't look at it like that..
"Fuck" would be if you didn't even acknowledge whatever happened tonight but you have..you could have abandoned this post and never returned but you were brave enough to be honest and come back and accountable.
So okay, you slipped up, we are all human, your start again, day 1 Like you said..
Well done op xxx

RettyPriddle · 20/02/2023 05:15

Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ve come a long way. Just start again today.

Obstackle · 20/02/2023 05:45

Keep going OP.

Day at a time Flowers

TigerMog · 20/02/2023 06:55

I'll join you starting today OP x

Anapana · 20/02/2023 06:59

Don’t be hard on yourself, this is a difficult thing to do. I did 20 days then broke the streak on Saturday. Back on it stray away though and feel ok. Undoubtedly there will be other day 1’s but progress is being made for us both

Battlecat98 · 20/02/2023 07:07

You have done so well. It happens, it is really hard. I am day 1 today, I did almost 12 months, then, Christmas happened so I had a couple, nothing like before but I miss the benefits of being sober. Not worth it.
I will join you if you don't mind.