1 day sober

[TooManyPlatesInMotion]

I didn't have a drink last night for the first time in months. I have a problem, and I really want to make some changes.

I'm 43 and I suppose alcohol has been an issue on and off since my early 20s, with periods of sobriety for the duration of three pregnancies. Otherwise, i have managed the odd week off here and there but it always escalates again.

I am overweight, unfit and feel dreadful, constantly tired and anxious. Drinking, on average two thirds of a bottle of wine or cava a night, much more over Xmas. I just can't do it any more. My kids need me to be better than this.

I'm looking into both Smart Recovery and AA.

Can anyone recommend some good podcasts that might help?

Thank you.

NCgoingdry you haven't failed. All of us have had ups and downs on our journey. For me not drinking for one night was a measure of success. I am doing well this time for the first time in 3yrs. I am putting off going out because I am fearful, I know I can cave as I know my triggers, my DH started on his usual negative blurb and I know that is a major trigger and if he does that ontop of kids and work being shite I would reach for a glass. Small successes are a success. We have all done well and you drinking one night...well think of all the days you didnt and now refocus on the next few days.

Easy done. Dont beat yourself up.

Could you ask dh to support you more?

@NCgoingdry don't beat yourself up, how has today been?

I got through Sunday by eating a lot of chocolate and then having a chocolate induced afternoon coma.

@ecdysis chocolate is a bit of a theme here too. Craving sweet stuff constantly!

I guess it is a combination of replacing the addiction and the sugar withdrawal. I know I need to address my diet but I don't have the headspace or willpower to do both. Hoping as being dry becomes a habit I can start thinking about the diet.

I eat savoury stuff mostly and am not remotely bothered by sweet things but I have spent most evenings sh@Battlecat98 ovelling sweets.

My apologies, battle cat
I have no idea how You found your way into my post!

*shovelling

There's loads of sugar in booze @findmybalance and my body is still missing it. I have generally been a savoury person until now and don't like fizzy drinks (unless prosecco/cava/champagne obvs!!) but now i really want a fanta and some cheap chocolate!

TooManyPlatesInMotion so try’s, I crave sugar daily since stooping. I researched it and it is linked due to the sugar content in alcohol. I bought myself high protein low cal puddings from Aldi. They are a game changer for me

Honestly thank you to each and everyone one of you for the support. It really did mean a lot and has helped me refocus. I could have ended up on a "oh I've done it now" and carried on - quite easily. Being here held me accountable really - plus you lot just GET IT.

I really like the reframing it as "90% success" instead of falling off the wagon. If I drink twice in January then that's still 29 times less than I would have drunk.

Haven't weighed myself after the weekend! I'll give myself a few days to catch up before that.

It was nice to wake up again this morning and feel reset - without the lingering anxiety and shame. Really hoping to continue this into February. I clearly need to work on my weekend triggers.

In all honesty my DH is supportive - I just don't think he realises how bad my drinking was/is. It's very normal to see me on the sofa with a glass of wine and even if I'm steaming I don't act drunk. I always get up in the morning no matter how bad I feel.

A bit annoyed my sober app has gone down to 0 days though. Oh well - must continue.

Sending you a supportive virtual hug @NCgoingdry@NCgoingdry

It's very normal to see me on the sofa with a glass of wine and even if I'm steaming I don't act drunk

I see myself here, I read on MN about being floored after two drinks, I can be a bottle in and no one would realise.

@NCgoingdry do you have the app which also tracks moderation?

ecdysis same...i could chuck back a bottle and no one would notice. I got to a stage I could drink two bottles at home and get up without a problem next day and function. Then I was worried as I realised I was heading into functioning alcoholic territory. Hard to admit to yourself but hey we all seem to be in the same place.

Hello everyone, I've been lurking, and would like to join you too.
I'm been drowning my sorrows virtually every night, usually with a bottle or sometimes two of wine. It's been a hard year as my DH died suddenly 11 months ago, and whilst there is some immediate escape, I've finally faced the fact that it doesn't really help at all. And drinking just stops me being present for my (adult) children.
So, since early January I've been dry for 14 days out of the past 17 and I am really proud of myself for taking this step.
I'm not waking up with that awful self loathing and tiredness, and my skin already looks brighter. My plan is to only buy the miniatures of wine and only drink on a Friday or a Saturday, if I really feel the need.
But so far, so good. And at last I really do feel that I'm taking care of myself.

Welcome @aswellascanbeexpected

So sorry to hear about your DH. I can't imagine how hard the last 11 months have been for you and your family.

Well done for joining us, this thread is really helping me.

thank you @onelife22 I've found the thread really helpful too. I actually told someone at work today that my drinking had begun to get out of hand and I was taking action. Just saying it out loud is a positive. And he was very supportive and i totally non judgemental.
I'm looking forward to improving my bank balance too!

aswellascanbeexpected welcome! I am on day 14 too. I have used alcohol to deal with my issues too. My DH isnt dead but has been living with cancer for 3 yrs and we found out it was terminal a year in. It is easy to get into your own bubble and alcohol has been my go to. It has been hard changing that as being sober means I have to face my new reality.

Virtual hugs from me

Welcome @aswellascanbeexpected . So sorry to hear you lost your DH, that must have been exceptionally hard all round.

Well done on making the decision to get on top of the booze. Just taking some action really provides a boost.

The more days that tick by, the more I realise I turned to alcohol for everything - to celebrate, boredom, sheer habit, the most wonderful and instant form of stress relief and, ironically, to ease the guilt of my oen drinking. It is like a thread that connects all emotions of life. This reset is so helpful.

Thank you @rogueone your situation sounds pretty awful too, almost like looking down the barrel of a gun. I hope you have a circle of support in real life.
and @TooManyPlatesInMotion your final paragraph really resonates with me too. Boredom and habit, and then I’ve moved onto having a very high tolerance level, so need a bottle to get the buzz, rather than just one glass.

Oh yes, wine because the weather is wintry by the fireplace, because the sky is blue or the sun is hot. Oh and it is so very wet and bleak outside....

I think we all do it to escape something, even if we don't know quite what it is. [Flowers] to those that have such pressing and understandable reasons.

Yep I was on half a bottle of gin at a time and it felt like functioning alcoholic stage.

So true. So many reasons. Which now none of them seem valid as ive managed fine without!

I hadn't much enjoyed chocolate since my teenage years.

Got sober and got a terrible sweet tooth. 😂

I'm just going with it. 😁

I had a thought today how I'd attributed so much of my functioning to only being able to be done with alcohol.

Socialising, certain ways of thinking, my humour. Of course none of it was the alcohol, and in fact I'm a much better version of me in every way.

But it becomes so ingrained and such a vicious cycle.

@ecdysis No which one is the moderation app?

@rogueone Definitely I am in the same place. The Mumsnet thimble of wine at Christmas and there was me starting on Prosecco at 10am.

@aswellascanbeexpected Welcome! I can't imagine the heartbreak you've been living through - well done on making the choice. No judgement here - we've basically all used alcohol as an excuse. Look after yourself. This group is so helpful.

@TooManyPlatesInMotion You are 100%, good day, celebrate with wine. Bad day, commiserate with wine. Stressful day - relax with wine. Birthday?! Wine. Any event outside of the home - wine. Rinse and repeat.

@theemmadilemma You're right I think past my blip I realise how much better I actually am in myself. I have more mental clarity for sure and going great things at work. I'm more present with my family, I have more time. I'm less miserable.

By no means out of the woods and fully reformed but this has definitely changed my perspective. And made me realise how bad it was actually getting. And shit I actually felt - physically and mentally.

I've treated myself to a weighted blanket from all the money I've saved on booze. Getting into bed and having 25lbs of pressure on me is actually really helping me wind down and relax in the evenings. Might be a bit sad but I love it.

Also, is anyone having vivid dreams now they aren't drinking every night?