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Alcohol support

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Original poster

1 day sober

322 replies

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 03/01/2023 12:36

I didn't have a drink last night for the first time in months. I have a problem, and I really want to make some changes.

I'm 43 and I suppose alcohol has been an issue on and off since my early 20s, with periods of sobriety for the duration of three pregnancies. Otherwise, i have managed the odd week off here and there but it always escalates again.

I am overweight, unfit and feel dreadful, constantly tired and anxious. Drinking, on average two thirds of a bottle of wine or cava a night, much more over Xmas. I just can't do it any more. My kids need me to be better than this.

I'm looking into both Smart Recovery and AA.

Can anyone recommend some good podcasts that might help?

Thank you.

OP posts:
NCgoingdry · 14/01/2023 09:39

@onelife22 wayhey! Go you!

Well exactly that. I want that to be my long term plan moving forward. I've got three kids I hardly ever go out unless it's a wedding or a big birthday so if I can stick to that and not drink at home every evening then I'll be happy.

Feeling more motivated today than my sulk the other night.

rogueone · 14/01/2023 09:42

Thanks all- this thread has really helped me stay focussed- so good to be around others going through the same thing.

I am so relieved today and have just finished a live workout, taking my son to swimming, then a party , then shopping and will prepare a nice meal!!

twistyizzy · 14/01/2023 09:44

After 12 days dry I had 2 glasses prosecco last night. I'm trying not to beat myself up about it and we are going away next weekend for a friend's 50th so there will be just alcohol around for the whole weekend.
Just annoyed that I couldn't have got to 14 days 😔

onelife22 · 14/01/2023 09:55

@twistyizzy 2 glasses is better than 3, 4, 5 or 6 so don't beat yourself up. Today is a new day x

NCgoingdry · 14/01/2023 10:55

@twistyizzy Compare that to your drinking before January. If you're anything like me I would have had the whole bottle and then a couple of shorts afterwards. You've still given your body a good rest and you ONLY had two. An achievement in my eyes. Don't beat yourself up. Just get back on it.

Original poster
TooManyPlatesInMotion · 14/01/2023 11:33

@twistyizzy don't be too hard on yourself. You stopped at 2... If it had been me, i would have thought sod it and polished off the bottle, then had a couple more, followed by an awful hangover and a load of self-loathing. However, you stopped at 2! Now just get back on track.

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rogueone · 14/01/2023 13:42

twistyizzy two glasses is amazing. I know if I had gone out today I would have thrown back two bottles then moved onto cocktails. So two is brill. Definitely don/t beat yourself up. I am not counting days , I am just focussing on not drinking in the house. My big night out is the 4th Feb so that is when I will drink and i am hopeful by then I will be able to continue not drinking in the house and only socially.

onelife22 · 14/01/2023 14:04

@rogueone not drinking in the house is a big one for me too. I don't actually go out much at all so the social side isn't a problem!

rogueone · 14/01/2023 15:53

onelife22 same here- drinking at home became a daily norm and it’s a hard habit to break

twistyizzy · 14/01/2023 18:24

Thank you everyone, yes I'm proud thar I stopped at 2 and didn't finish the bottle as I usually would without even thinking about it. My aim was never to go completely dry as I don't think this is achievable but to drastically cut down on the amount I drink. 2 glasses in 14 days is significantly less than I was drinking for the last 2 years so yes I will celebrate that.
😊

ecdysis · 14/01/2023 20:46

Another that would have sank the whole bottle and some, so stopping is really good, and ultimately what People without an alcohol problem do.

I'm also a home drinker, I had started hiding my empties, from myself more than anyone else.

Original poster
TooManyPlatesInMotion · 15/01/2023 09:33

I have spent a night in my childhood home with my (v tricky) mother and have managed not to drink! First time in about 15 years I have managed it (other than pregnancies).

Feeling very pleased and need to plan an end of month treat.

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findmybalance · 15/01/2023 13:02

Thanks for the invite@TooManyPlatesInMotion and well done on that!!

Day 4 for me after drinking every day for about a year, getting through around 2 and a half bottles of gin a week. God it sounds scary when you write it down!

I really wanted to stop so I havent really had anh cravings. I'm just knackered. Had a really dodgy stomach the last two days but that seems to be easing off.

Original poster
TooManyPlatesInMotion · 15/01/2023 13:36

Welcome @findmybalance and am pleased to hear your stomach is starting to feel a bit better!

Hope everyone is getting through the weekend ok.

OP posts:
ecdysis · 15/01/2023 15:08

This is by far the hardest day I've had so far. Having roast and really want wine. Very nearly caved in the Co Op.

OP you getting through a night with your mother (well me imagining her to be like mine) spurred me on. Only 6 long more hours to go.

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 15:08

ecdysis · 15/01/2023 15:08

This is by far the hardest day I've had so far. Having roast and really want wine. Very nearly caved in the Co Op.

OP you getting through a night with your mother (well me imagining her to be like mine) spurred me on. Only 6 long more hours to go.

Think about all the reasons you wanted to do this.

rogueone · 15/01/2023 15:15

ecdysis I stopped on the 3rd and last Sunday was awful and I spent the entire day thinking about wine. I feel so much better today, I have wine in the house and I purposely have so it sits on the wine rack. I did put a bottle in the fridge last Sunday and took it back out Sunday night. Just think how you will feel when you get into bed having not drank. The feeling is amazing - stay strong!

Original poster
TooManyPlatesInMotion · 15/01/2023 15:28

d tight @ecdysis@ecdysis

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Original poster
TooManyPlatesInMotion · 15/01/2023 15:29

Gah, hit post too soon! I meant to say hold tight @ecdysis . The urge to drink often comes from nowhere with me but it does pass.

OP posts:
onelife22 · 15/01/2023 18:22

I find Sundays are hard as generally if I haven't had a drink on a Thurs, Fri or Sat I used to 'treat' myself and have wine whilst cooking and eating a Sunday roast (if the bottle lasted that long)....

rogueone · 15/01/2023 20:16

hope you have all managed today. I found it easier this weekend but found myself really tired by 7pm.

NCgoingdry · 16/01/2023 06:13

So I have a cautionary tale for you all.

Saturday night I caved in. DH wanted a cheat meal off the diet and was suggesting all sorts of glorious things plus wine.

The inner voice said fuck it and had a few beers on an empty stomach whilst cooking. Then naturally the whole bottle of wine afterwards.

I barely ate the meal I was so fixated on enjoying the wine. So without much food I found myself incredibly drunk by 9pm and went to bed. Managed to injure myself. Don't remember saying good night to anyone. Did not feel "good drunk".

Woke up at 2.30am feeling sick and dizzy and anxious and couldn't go back to sleep.

Restless drifting until 6 when I got up had a coffee and felt fucking horrific. Guilty. Sick. Headache. Upset with myself.

Hangover anxiety literally lingered all of Sunday as well.

This morning feel like an utter failure. But. Having seen how I actually felt every day for the last nearly 2 years I know I can't do this. I can't moderate and I can't carry on as I was.

Back on the wagon for sure.

Pretty bummed that I cracked - feel really down about it. So let that be a warning to you all! I couldn't come back and lie.

illiterato · 16/01/2023 06:52

@NCgoingdry don't beat yourself up about it. Just get back on it. Sometimes I think streaks can be a bit unhelpful in that if you have one blip it’s easy to say “fuck it” and go on. 2 week bender before “starting again”. Seen it a lot on the OYNB forums. Annie Grace suggests calculating a % success rate instead so one cheat day in 2 weeks if you used to be a daily drinker is still a 90%+ success rate, which would normally be considered good.

onelife22 · 16/01/2023 07:19

@illiterato I really like that way of thinking, celebrate the successes!

@NCgoingdry sorry to hear you feel and felt so awful but thank you for sharing your experience. I bet 90% of us would have had more drinks than we wanted and felt just as awful the next few days. It has probably done you good in the long run as it's that little reminded that it's not actually enjoyable after (and during most of the time), even if our brains convince us it is when we abstain. Sending a hug, be proud for coming back here and not going AWOL xx

Original poster
TooManyPlatesInMotion · 16/01/2023 11:40

I very much agree with @illiterato on this. It is very easy to think "screw this" and chuck the baby out with the bath water, when really it is just a blip.

@NCgoingdry this would have been me: puking and hating myself. Please don't be hard on yourself, you are doing really well. Progress is still progress even if it isn't completely linear. Chin up and back on track. 🌻

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