Anyone else in Day 1 today

[enoughisenough100]

So after so many attempts of failing, I'm really hoping to succeed this time. Is anyone on day 1. I go through other posts nd read how well people are doing, but just can't seem to get past the first few days. The house is hectic nd I feel like by 5 o clock, I deserve to be opening a bottle of wine. I know I shouldn't nd would be feel so much better the next day if I can stop drinking. Just can't seem to crack it. Any tips on audio books that really worked? Other ideas? I think I've tried so many times I need to do something different. I know the first few weeks are going to b tough, any vitamins etc to give a boost. Any advice ? Help !!!

That’s such a relatable and inspirational post, thank you @Rupertpenrysmistress.

I definitely will find the below a challenge on weekends, as you rightly said; depression is such a close friend to an abuser of alcohol:

Really important to get up every day and get dressed. I think the depressive element of alcohol abuse takes a while to go, so I felt it important to get up every day, not lay around feeling sorry for myself. I had a real loathing for myself but could not let them undermine my attempts. It was not easy and it was a struggle probably for the first month. But, it does get easier and when I saw the numerous benefits, I just had to keep pushing through

So many other useful tips too, I have my vitamins ready but I am honestly so wiped out as not long home. I had a test after work and one of managers poured a glass of champagne - I’d normally stay and we’d end up drinking, going out for dinner and I have no off-switch so would have been up until early hours easily. I’m so glad I came home.

So I’m on day 2 - I hope your day 2 has gone well @enoughisenough100 and that others have had successful AF days too. 💐

Thank you again so much for such a helpful post, @Rupertpenrysmistress. Funny enough, I spotted a sober celebrity thread on SM yesterday and it is really made me look at them and think “wow, they seem happy, successful” I don’t know if that sounds weird, and I may not have even passed a thought if I wasn’t trying to stop. Will def look up some of their stories.

Have also bookmarked your post too and will no doubt refer to it, as it’s super helpful.

@Rupertpenrysmistress thank you!

I have eased back on the chocolate and because I feel so amazing I have started to really care for my skin and hair, I ensure I drink about 2 litres of water. My sleep is amazing and I am so happy to wake up every day hangover free

I have lost alot of weight so have got myself some lovely clothes. I feel great. I googled sober celebrities and have found that really empowering

I can’t wait to get to this stage. On Day 2 and swimming in regret and junk food!

Thanks so much @Rupertpenrysmistress for that , great to hear such a positive story. Great idea with checking out celeb stories, I must definitely take a look. I would love to get to the point you are at, it must feel amazing. Thanks again for sharing. @Sureen yes still with you on day 2! Didn't find it too bad, surprising! Here's hoping tomorrow will b the same🤞

Thank you @Rupertpenrysmistress you sound different than you did couple of years back just more uplifted , amazing , such an achievement honestly you should be so proud. I hope I can achieve what you have.

I've started and stopped and started and stopped more times than I can remember. I am day 2 today and when I didn't drink for those 2 days last week I slept really well but last night I was up and down sweaty and not and my kid was up etc etc anyway I am feeling super groggy and tired today (but thankfully not because of alcohol) and I remember this happening and then passing. I have also been binging on a lot of junk food but I know it's better than drink.

I am dreading the weekend which is when DH starts drinking and will drink Friday Saturday and Sunday. I have avoided social occasions and if that means pushing some away (as some of them are really pushy like come on the party only starts when you are there and please come you make people laugh etc) yeah I make ppl laugh because I'm drunk by the time I arrive ! Which is another reason I knew I want to give up as I was drinking before the occasion and thinking about it in the morning on my days off from work etc. If my DH stopped drinking for a bit that would help me so much but then it's selfish too I guess. Forever is a grand old word and I don't want to think about that but I'm scared of slipping.

I also have some pop ups sometimes on SM about social celebs but will Google more into it.

Hope everyone is well and has a good evening hopefully AF free.

Hi Namechanged12344 I assume you are using a different name? It's nice to hear that you can read a difference in my post. You don't really get congratulated on sobriety. My DH who is very supportive normally just shrugged when I told him I was 100 days sober. I guess unless you are trapped in it you don't know how hard the fight is.

My DH did continue to drink and initially I struggled, if I was at home I would take myself off upstairs, do a facemask/paint my toes and eat chocolate.

When we went out the first time to a pub, I had a horrible time, my DH was drinking and I thought to myself one glass of wine won't hurt so I was ready to order it however, my DH asked which af drink I wanted. I chose af cider but they didn't have any just af ale 😩. I chose half a coke and stomped off to the toilet. At that moment I felt like a complete failure, everywhere I looked people were drinking normally but not alcoholic me. It all felt so false and I wanted to go home. DH then had another alcoholic drink which I just wish he would hurry up with.
When I left the pub I felt great, gave myself a talking to for being so childish! Another challenge overcome and another bumper bar of galaxy. Due to this experience, I avoided any other social gathering until I was secure in my sobriety. My DH was really supportive and went alone to events.

However last weekend DH got hammered I could see it coming and took myself to bed with chocolate and a good book. At approx 2am!!! My DH was vomiting and felt very sorry for himself in the morning. This really cemented my need for sobriety. I had a lovely sunny walk and coffee with my ds.

Sobriety can be lonely as you feel weak and abnormal that's why I love reading about sober celebrities, they are hailed as this and that, have all the money and still fall victim to alcohol. My fave ones are Tom Hardy, Robert Downey Jr, Michelle Heaton and Ben Affleck. Their stories are so relatable and if it's good enough for them it's good enough for me.

Keep going everyone and if you slip up start again. The days will soon accumulate and you will be reaping the benefits. It's great that their is a growing sober trend.

Yes I did name change @Rupertpenrysmistress I was ynwa? That was a good supportive thread and the first time I felt I had 'comrades' and prior to that I had done nearly a year stint but going to AA and counselling etc I was in a deep hole though and thought I was ok etc but clearly not!

I too remember us going away with the kids over half term and DH ordering a beer and me actually crying tears that I couldn't drink! I was angry and yes that feeling is spot on about feeling weak and abnormal.

Once we were at my in laws and my fil went to pour me a glass of wine and I said no I don't drink and he laughed in my face. I was so upset but these 'normal' drinkers do not understand...today after work I went to the supermarket to grab some food items and thought oh I worked I deserve a drink but I looked at the wine aisle and just carried on moving wasn't in the mood and have had loads of noodles (packet type I'm craving at the moment) and a bunch of unhealthy stuff.

Also the moment I felt so horrible is that recently I said some horrible things to my eldest child and if I hadn't been drinking I wouldn't have so it goes to show but I'm wracked with guilt that I haven't 'damaged' him now. I feel super sad now.

Thank you for replying and keep going everyone ! I have just googled sober celebs there's some lovely ones and Andy Murray is one he said he wanted to put his all into the sport so didn't want anything to affect his future which is amazing.

Yes Namechanged12344 I do remember you now.

My DC witnessed behaviour they should not have, so, this is on my mind in a loop. I regret not quitting earlier as they deserved better. However, I am here now. I don't know what you think, but I had a 'general' discussion with my DC about alcohol and how bad it is health-wise and said I would not be drinking again. I explained how people including me, sometimes act in ways they should not have and that was not ok, I said I am sorry if you have seen me acting silly. I wanted to keep it light, not brush over it and give myself some accountability.

I've only stopped drinking completely for a week. I've not been well. Probably long term alcohol abuse related.

Today I spoke to counsellor and told him I am stopping drinking. I've had enough. My body has had enough. Saying it out loud to another human felt good.

The hard part is when I feel better and want a drink. Also when my husband tries to wear me down because he wants a drink and doesn't want to drink alone. I need will power for two.
I went on Drinkaware website and have a number to call and see what support they can give me.
Well don't everyone else for all your efforts.

*done

@JesusSufferingFuck22 that must be really hard. I’m lucky in that dh will support me and would have no booze if I asked him to. I find it really hard when he is drinking.

Love hearing yer stories, really is keeping me motivated to think it will all be worth it 🤞 I was going to stop on the way home nd pick up a bottle, but actually decided against it and carried on! Hope you're feeling ok @JesusSufferingFuck22.

Thanks @Haggisfish3
My dh is reasonably supportive given he wants to drink and isn't ill! He's not drank all week either. It could be really good for us. He claims he only drinks if it's in the house.

That's great @enoughisenough100
Thanks, I'm feeling a bit better and still full of resolve and not wanting to drink. I'm actually a bit repulsed by it.
My dad stopped drinking about 15 years ago. He'd just had enough too. No blips, no nothing. Just stopped.

Just wanted to say because of this thread and you lot I've been ok and thinking less about drinking. It's early days I know and I haven't been put to the DH drinking weekend test but I think I'll be ok. I also seem to stop when summer starts and lots of fun things might be happening but I know I got to be present for all my family stuff now. I did just have 1 at my in laws at the weekend but if I had the choice I would have definitely carried on.

Thanks @Rupertpenrysmistress about how to talk to the kids about this but the problem is I say I'm not drinking to them but then up up and it just looks bad on me and not a good role model etc etc so I'm not sure maybe I want to get a 100 under my belt and then see what happens! Or maybe just 30. We were on holiday recently and we drank daily from late morning through to late evening it was ridiculous when you think about it . Again I wasn't a good parent I don't think. Neither was DH tbh and it's exhausting just feeling all the guilt. But on the last day of the holiday I said to DH I'm gonna give up for a month to detox and he went 'good luck with that' how condescending. He also knew of what I went through before but he used to be in denial about it.

Anyway thanks so much for your support all of you.

I hope you are ok @JesusSufferingFuck22 x

Hi @enoughisenough100 how's it going for ya? I'm on day 5 and grumpy as f. Fighting with DH etc etc and super tired foggy tired and grumpy tired all kinds of tired! I want to feel less angry at the moment....I've joined the freedom thread on alcohol support too which is very good and useful!

Hi @Namechanged12344 , not too good I'm afraid, I did go out with friends last night so ended up drinking, so back to day one for me as much as I hate saying it. Hadn't been out in so long and really needed a good catch up and had intended to try without alcohol but was definitely way too soon ! Well done you though, 5 days is amazing, I really want to get at least a week or 2 done to maybe feel more confident to see that I can do it , but I never seem to even make it that far! Totally failing this thread , I had every intention of starting the day I wrote it! how are you distracting yourself in the evenings, I have to say I'm finding it so tough.. I really thought I could sort this problem myself! Not so sure now! I'm hoping seeing other success stories will just top it off for me to give the push I need to keep going. Well done to you though , hopefully I won't be far behind you !

Hi @enoughisenough100 ah please don't beat yourself up or feel bad in any way. You are trying that's what counts! And you WILL get there to the week or 2 weeks when you are ready. I have had to decline all social evenings for the next few weeks because I know I might be tempted. Saying that DH has opened a bottle of red and I don't have any inclination but it's very slippery this slope we are on. It's so hard. Distraction int the evening wise I bought some knitting magazine and you tube video and I'm so bad at it so gave up but that was a good distraction, a book, mainly I went upstairs (without a wine glass in My hand lol) and stayed there sorting clothes , going on Mumsnet the freedom thread is really good if you want to jump on there too, I downloaded a sample of quit like a woman so reading that, I have been eating a lot of sugary food tho and orange squash to replace the sugar from the wine every day I was having...you will get there !

Well done for doing day 1!
Have you tried EFT/tapping therapy. There are lots of basic tutorials online and it can really distract from stress, which could help with the 5 o'clock feeling you get

Thanks @Namechanged12344 for the kind words. You would just get mad with yourself wen you crack and give in and posts likes yours really do help! Thanks. Well done and I'm so happy you aren't even tempted to have a glass of red wine when your Dh is drinking, I can't imagine myself being that strong! I definitely need a distraction but haven't a clue where to start! We have a hectic house with smallies which is great but I think, a glass of wine took the stress down a notch while cooking dinner so that's where I think I'll struggle the most.

Thanks @egrundy1234 , I have never even heard of that, will definitely check it out! Could be something that may help! Is that helped you?

@enoughisenough100 you are definitely not failing this thread. You’re still posting even though you slipped up.

The fact you came back is something you should be proud of. I hope you get loads of inspiration from the AF stories, and I think that’s a great suggestion from @Namechanged12344 to join the Freedom thread too.

I wasn’t as committed as you as I went 3 days AF, and when I succumbed (for me it was usual Villan; working crazy hours and thinking I needed to drink to relax and zone out from stress)

Clearly didn’t work as I feel more stressed, anxious and have so much self-hatred than before. I was too embarrassed to come back and update, so I feel like this is a small accomplishment for me. And I’m now back on day one.

I hope I’m back tomorrow to post, and I really hope all of you amazing ladies that are beating this addiction have strong days tomorrow. 💐

Hi @Sureen hope you are ok and well done for day 1 ! Now hopefully you have woken up fresher this morning from not drinking ! Don't ever be embarrassed to come back on etc even if you slip you are human and that goes for everyone! I also feel you if I'm stressed and work and kids etc it's shit and I feel like I deserve it it's crazy how our mind works. I am up everyone is still asleep but I made my first Saturday night without the wine. I did start reading a quit lit book some of these are brilliant and really help at the beginning , the unexpected joys is good too. Herbal teas but for me it was a sparkling fizzy drink which gave me gas but hey ho I'm trying hahah

Well done on Saturday night wine free! I stayed dry mon-third but drank fri and sat. Still, it’s better than nothing and I didn’t drink quite as much as usual on those nights. Am going dry again this week too. I feel so much better when I’m dry. It’s so annoying.

This is a great thread. Reading my way through it all on Day 7. Well done to you all.

Thank you @Haggisfish3 . That's good though that you have that target to be dry weekdays etc I know about the feeling of how food you feel dry. I'm finding it super hard right now. Is it normal to feel really down now? I'm on day 6 now and feeling really down and like everything is getting to me! Hoping it's just my hormones/booze free body adjusting. My DH and I are fighting like anything and that's obviously getting me down! We have a lot on but I do find I'm getting snappy with just about everyone but we have major works about to start tomorrow so that doesn't help tensions. He just doesn't get it doesn't get what I'm trying to do is for the long term he doesn't appreciate anything ! Anyway the sorts of things make me want to head straight for the drink and say fuck it but I'm gonna prove him wrong. (He thinks I can't give up so completely unsupportive). He's lazy too. And says mean things. It's something we need to work on but right now I need to prioritise my drinking.