Anyone else in Day 1 today

[enoughisenough100]

So after so many attempts of failing, I'm really hoping to succeed this time. Is anyone on day 1. I go through other posts nd read how well people are doing, but just can't seem to get past the first few days. The house is hectic nd I feel like by 5 o clock, I deserve to be opening a bottle of wine. I know I shouldn't nd would be feel so much better the next day if I can stop drinking. Just can't seem to crack it. Any tips on audio books that really worked? Other ideas? I think I've tried so many times I need to do something different. I know the first few weeks are going to b tough, any vitamins etc to give a boost. Any advice ? Help !!!

Namechanted12344 that sounds really tough but you sound determined. I think the way you feel at the moment is normal. Your body has and is going through a lot of changes. I am sorry your DH is not supporting you but perhaps use that to prove to him you can do this.

Honestly, since I quit I feel like a stronger person. You can do this. Just so you know, I very much felt like opening a bottle yesterday, I don't feel great at the moment which annoyed me, as I feel I am doing everything right and cutting everything out might as well have a glass (would have been a bottle) as it's clearly making no difference. But of course it is and I didn't and am so glad keep going you are strong enough.

@Namechanged12344 that must be really hard. Well done x100 for every dry night you achieve. I stayed sober tonight. I’m having a tricky time personally at the moment so I’m even more chuffed to have stayed dry.

Thanks so much for your words @Rupertpenrysmistress and @Haggisfish3 . Well done omg to you both honestly it's so easy to just think F IT and open the bottle and having it and having those warm feelings that will last about an hour and then we think why did we do it to ourselves when the sober version is just so much bloody better and healthier!

I'm normally asleep by now especially as we have a particularly hectic day and week ahead of us but I was getting in touch with counsellors again, for me, for couples, for kids I need it all but for now think I might start with me. I am now very aware of how bitchy I can be when drunk/sober but different ways towards my DH and kids and that needs to stop so am seeking help. I'm not blaming myself entirely and DH is not an angel he's downright mean at times and has issues of his own that he should go counselling for but he would never. It's his house, he pays for most stuff , he's a man and doesn't have issues, he knows how to parent better than me etc etc I'm fed up with it all. I also will make an appt with the GP. I feel like running away tbh to another world...I feel sorry for my kids I've been in tears all day ...anyway I didn't drink... on and up ...thanks all of you

Namechanged12344 totally agree with you prioritise yourself for counselling, that way you will be in a better position to see things clearly and help your DC. The benefit being, drink can't be to blame.

In my drinking days, when I used to wake in the night with heart pounding/sweating/feeling sick attempting to piece together what I had said done, I remember my DH saying 'I need to talk to you'. OMG, and he would leave it hanging until he was ready to tell me what I had done/said. I dreaded that, like being at school again. I felt weak and worthless. So now, like last night when my DH said 'I need to talk to you ' 😯 I initially froze, ran through my memory bank and thought no, no drink involved bring it on. It was just about buying my DD a new phone 🙄.

What I am trying to say, is once you remove alcohol, you can see things clearly, are responsible for your actions and things are easier to deal with.

I really feel for you, I was so lucky my DH supported me when I needed it, so no pressure. I get the f* it feeling, I still get it, but it only makes you feel worse.

Believe me, when you wake up and it's a bad day at least you are aware of your behaviour and don't have a hang over. I really felt I could trust myself again, stay strong, it is worth it. I know how hard it is. No one ever regretting not drinking the night before. Take care. keep posting. Happy to support you via DM if that would help.

Me. It's so much harder each time, isnt it!

Hello @stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou well done for starting with day 1 today ! Have you anything planned for the next few AF evenings? I am on day 7 and I don't know something has triggered me to just keep going on and I'm trying hard not to think too much of the future and just say well today i ain't drinking!

I gave up and had a gin today. Hoping to get it out my system and start again.

I'm on week 3 of quitting a 2 bottle a night habit . I've decided to cut it to sun - Thursday alcohol free then if I fancy something on a Fri & Saturday night I've Earned it . It's been lovely going into work hangover free . I'm not missing it in the week at all .

Well this is totally tough but I'm tipping away, must admit I'm finding it hard to distract myself in the evening! Well done@Namechanged12344 it must be way harder wen you don't have good support, you are doing amazing! Dh is good here but if I even mentioned wine he would be all for it, coz i chat so much more after wine so I'm in so much better form! Well done @Bedsheets4knickers you sound like you are doing great moderating nd keeping to weekend ! I wish I could do that, it would be the ideal situation but I think it just has to b cold turkey for me for now anyway !!

enoughisenough100 how are you getting on? I couldn't quit work out from your last post. It is so tough to became sober. I have tried and failed so many times. I am now sober 4 months and feel fairly confident. I love the fact I don't have to bargain with myself or wonder when I can start drinking particularly if I was out.

The benefits are amazing but it is such a battle with your brain. Hope you are ok.

Hi everyone how's your evenings going ? I tried doing what you are doing @Bedsheets4knickers but it's always been a slippery slope for as long as I can remember everytime I've tried it. So it's nothing at all for me but taking one day at a time and trying not to think too much to the future . On day 8.

Hi @Rupertpenrysmistress I'm doing good , sorry , maybe it's the way I word things u can't make out. I'm still AF so far but can't promise anything . Taking it day by day ! I'm listening to a lot of sober podcasts , it's great it just gives an idea of other people's stories. Looking for a good audio book right now, I loved sober diaries !! From tomorrow on I'm going to try and fit in even a half hour walk too, think it would do my head good hopefully! I can't say I'm finding it very easy! Hope yer all doing ok .

Yep day by day is the only way. I don't think any of us can afford to assume we have it sorted. I really enjoyed a book called another love by Amanda Prowse, it's heartbreaking but really hits home. Its a novel although it feels like a true story so not quit lit as such but thought provoking. Another day done. Keep going everyone.

@Namechanged12344
I’m on Day 9. Evenings not too bad but I had a large pack of jellies and an AF g&t tonight. I feel sick to my stomach and my belly is way bloated … I look 6 months pregnant no exaggeration. I eat the jellies on the reg so I’m afraid it’s the fake gin - hopefully not as it’s a handy halfway house.

i’m coping ok with being AF because i got violently ill and slept on the bathroom floor the last time I drank (9 days ago). I’m still feeling tired and I get a churning in my stomach when I think of booze ever since. I’m hoping the repulsion lasts but the other symptoms go!

Not letting me tag you properly. I have been ill from booze too but now I seem immune to any ill effects unless I do tequila shots which I was doing on holiday! I'm just wondering about all inclusive holidays from now on lol not that we go on a lot. The last time I have up for nearly 1 year , I was on holiday all Inc and the last day can you believe I thought F IT and that was it. I felt guilty shit everything but then carried on. Then I did dry Jan in lockdown with DH wish I continued. Will look into that book @Rupertpenrysmistress . I'm feeling like crap when will it get better! (Also there are stresses in the house at the moment that can't be helped so that isn't helping my situation!) I've also managed to tell some friends imnot drinking so if I say no to going out that's why etc (I talk about drinking a lot when I'm drinking with friends it ruled my life!) No more...

Sorry @Nouveaunew I might as well type out the names it won't let me tag properly then makes me re write the whole thing again Grr
You are on day 10 I'm on day 9 we can do this

Thanks @Namechanged12344
yeah here we are on Day 9 & 10. Let’s keep at it. I get you. The first thing I’d think about in an all-inclusive holiday would be the steady stream of booze. I used to pay to go into those airport lounges with my exDH just to have the steady stream of wine.

I feel released by now drinking and I hope that once I have actual challenges in front of me that I’ll hold strong.

quit lit is great . I feel like not drinking and reading and listening about it is my hobby at the moment!

Creeping in quietly.. day 1. I clearly have a big problem with alcohol. There I've said it!! The f*ck switch flicked and I just didn't stop 🙈 today I will not drink alcohol.

The first time I gave up there was a woman online I think Canadian living in France called belle she used to send daily emails if I remember correctly to help, I might look her up again but then she also started the whole if you pay I'll send you more stuff and subscribe BS. But I guess they got to make money right. It was called tiredofthinking about drinking. And I am tired of it , when is it ok to start drinking what tttime what day of the week, holidays, special occasions etc etc I used to literally count down the hours until it was an acceptable time. Any excuse I'd be popping open a bottle. Plane drinking it's a 9am flight it's ok we are on holiday! Etc etc and the cycle of the poison continues...for me this time something in me has changed I don't know what but I'm hoping and praying I will be strong this time around...I'm pretty sure I can't moderate so this is it. I don't want my kids to see me with a glass of wine in my hand every single day. I've tried abstaining and then just doing weekends it just doesn't work is that a brain thing maybe in some of us? I don't know. I am also at the age of hormones going wild and all sorts so I'm figuring alcohol isn't helping ANY situation at the moment.
Well done for jumping on board @wakeupandshakeup how are you feeling?

All sounds familiar.. I did do well completing dry Jan then Feb March was hit and miss and April was awful. I've tried to moderate and it's doesn't work for me. I have to remind myself daily why I can't drink, what happens if I have one and how I'll feel the next day. Today is a good day to start, purely because last night is a blur and that scares the heck out of me!! I have a complicated marriage which is better off in the bin and a controlling H who is quite happy to see me drinking so much as then I'm stuck in a rut instead of getting out the marriage. It's all such a mess!! Like you I'm hitting the hormonal imbalance side of life just to add to the mix.. oh the joys eh!

Hi @wakeupandshakeup sounds quite hectic in your house too...do you want to leave him? I get it though as you feel like you will be strong enough to deal with stuff but then end up drinking away the worries and say we will worry about it another day. Honestly I'm only on day 9 and the amount of shit I've managed to get done instead of drinking or finding a way to drink or waiting for drink time etc because that's now deleted from my mind my focus is brilliant on other things. You can do this did you feel back when you did dry Jan that you were more confident to deal with the marriage ?

My plan is to leave, he won't and keeps pretending it's all going to be OK. It isn't, never will and I need out. I've had legal advice and it's a long laborious process and I need him to play nicely. I'm doubtful he will.. anyway all that aside when I was on my AF journey before I was most definitely more focused and need to be back there. The emotional crutch of a glass of wine is now a bottle and has to stop. I've got myself some cloudy lemonade and I'm sticking with it 💪 one day at a time.

Yes indeed! I’m doing pretty well for me. Drank one night this week but managed three sober nights. It’s feeling more normal not to drink during the week. Keep on going everyone!

@wakeupandshakeup

sorry you’re going through all of that. 😥Cloudy lemonade is delicious! I used wine as a crutch through my separation and to be honest, it’s only now, in sobriety (day 11…can I really say ‘in sobriety?’ 😃) that it’s all sinking in. Alcohol is just a temporary fix but the way it wares us down day after day and week after week is the last thing you need during a breakup.

Fuck sake done it again.

I want to stop, I know I should stop.

But....