The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Adm1010]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life

Thankyou to bunnies for hosting the last thread.
And here’s to the next 40 pages

I’m back. My poor wee dad is not - didn’t get out of hospital after all. Hopefully tomorrow.

Welcome @Fortheloveofgodwhy. Nice to hear your story. My sleep was better after a few days. Lots of mad dreams though! I still get up to wee twice a night but at least it’s not with anxiety, pounding heart and awful thirst at 2am.
When people ask me why I don’t drink I normally say ‘i thought I’d stop a while for my health as it just wasn’t agreeing with me.’ If that doesn’t do it, I say ‘it’s my age and hormones’ and that always shuts them up. Nobody likes to hear about your looming menopause! I’m having a weekend away with old friends in the spring and I will tell them the truth.

It’s interesting you are a runner. There are a lot of runners on this thread. I admire it greatly, I’m also constantly gobsmacked by it. I’ve always assumed runners were so super healthy they would never have alcohol issues. I think I must have some pretty daft blinkered views! It’s the same level of shock as when I discovered my GP friend gave her kids Coco Pops for breakfast 😂 .

Sorry your dad isn’t home @iamyourequal
I’m far from a runner. Far far from it. I did try to run a couple of times. Lasted about a year each time. But could never get further than 5k. Ended up with cardio appointments and a benign heart thingy and then I decided I preferred drinking anyway 😳. I might try it again. When it was good, it was great. But most the time I was exhausted and fucked afterwards.
I think I’ll go for the ‘it’s no good for my sleep’ line. I was just astounded at the neighbours … you’re very young to decide you’ll never have a drink again. Like yeah but no, do I have to be x number of years closer to death? Am I not old enough to stop?? I’m 43 btw so not exactly a teenager 🤣. I also had a hysterectomy in 2020 so well into menopause and HRT and frankly it’s yet another issue I am trying to resolve and knowing that drinking makes it all more difficult and it is something I can remove from the pile of shit.. here I am.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy I'm the same as @iamyourequal - hormones/ time of life - alcohol just didn't seem to be helping.

Though another AF weekend! Went to M&S to stock up on AF wine and beer. Had a nice AF G&T too. Not far off the 90 day mark here!

Morning all.
Well I am proud of myself. Shit day yesterday and i stayed in my pj's as if I had got dressed I would have bought wine!
Had a glass of Nosecco and ate fish and chips. Put myself to bed and feel better.
I just say not drinking due to wls but that is a conversation stopper in itself!

Morning !

Plodding on . Picked up a short shift today but will be done and dusted by this afternoon .
Then my youngest is off to a party . I’ll be picking him up early hours as it’s not an all nighter . This in itself would have been cause for black clouds as it would have meant I couldn’t drink . But sober I can get him, make sure he’s safe , take care of him if he’s had one to many . I cannot believe I used to want to prioritise drink over the safety of my children . Literally a sobering thought .

Morning!

Sorry about the shit day @SavBbunny.

I'm expecting period and also was in shit form yesterday. Also had to report something grim at work which sent me into a minor tailspin. Didn't leave the house yesterday.

I tried running, but decided walking and yoga and slow bike rides are more my speed . I'm planning to take up weight training again soon as I was quite good at that and felt great with some guns 💪. Would also love to try some dance classes. Just something fun and user friendly like zumba. I find it so uplifting.

Kids have a party today, so I'll be at that as little one is too young to go on his own. Also will go and buy dome overpriced chocolates for everyone for Valentines. Extremely glad to be very much alcohol free and therefore hangover free today. Might start writing some gratitudes and that is a big one today. Also grateful to have found this thread (ugh cheesy, but true) xoxo

Day 13 here

I’m also feeling relieved to be on Sunday and no alcohol bleery mornings. No dreading wine free week days because I’ve done the shit bit already. Im already looking forward to going on holiday and not drinking!! That’s going to be amazing. For decades holidays have been a bit of a curse because I always drink every day and sleep shite and feel shite and regerts all over the place. Happy Sober Sunday folks

Morning all! Thank you all for being here and just checking in. I find it so helpful to know there are others on this road. Sorry some have had crap days. It can be a bit of a depressing time of year.

Last night Dh and I went out and I didn’t drink so I’m proud of myself as was my first real challenge that way. But dh got drunk very quickly and was being loud and annoying as drunk people are. He didn’t want to come home with me (it was late) and stayed out drinking. So this morning I feel resentful towards him and that it is so unattractive. I have been crying. I don’t know if I am being unreasonable because it is not him who has decided to give up or if I should have expected more support from him. I am worried about our relationship will be affected. Been together a long time.

@DoingAway

Sorry that your husband is being a tit. Mine has taken to having a tot before bed. He has rum older than our youngest DC(18) so where the feck his 'thirst' has come from i have no idea?
However with young children and elderly parents in the house someone had to stay sober, that wasn't me I am ashamed to say. Over a decade of excessive drinking ment he never let his hair down. I have even picked him up from the pub! Perhaps that is what happened last night with your DH? Buy some nice juice and keep it to yourself.
Also perhaps some new perfume as your sense of smell will have improved.
X

Thanks SavBbunny was just thinking I should treat myself to something .

Thanks @Fortheloveofgodwhy, my dad is now home and doing fine. I’m sorry to hear you had a hysterectomy, that must be very traumatic. I’m glad you are embracing thought of alcohol free holiday. That’s the thing still worries me.
I hope you have a better day today @SavBbunny. I’m still in my PJs today. I’m having lazy day to try and fight this tooth infection. I’ve lost 3lb in 48hours as I’m too sore to eat - every cloud as they say…quite ironic after all my wingeing about not losing weight!!
It’s great being able to pick DC s up @Adm1010. A total mind-change from resenting not being allowed to drink. I only wish mine would go out more sometimes to take advantage of it! @DoingAway, that’s rotten your night out was spoiled by drunk DH. I hope he makes up for it today. I told mine last night I am more strongly resolved now not to start drinking again. He looked disappointed. Tough, if I turn out to be a woman who actually starts drinking again to please her husband, well I would be losing a lot more than my sobriety I feel. Enjoy the party @GoodMuse, I hope you get nice cake.

I will stay strong today, like all you folks racking up another dry weekend on here! We can do this!!

Hallo everyone, congratulations on another dry weekend.

Tomorrow is four weeks since I stopped. I have struggled more today than previously. I'm definitely over eating, and feel quite flat. I looked at the booze I've still got and though I didn't desperately want any today I do feel that I probably won't be able to have it again. It's funny how emotive it is, there was a bottle of red I'd brought home from Paris in the autumn. It's a lot to give up.

On the plus side though, my sleep has been transformed, which means I am so much more energetic during the day and am getting through chores I have had hanging over me for months

Well done on getting to four weeks @sunshineforest!

I know what you mean about the emotion attached to some alcohol. It's what we tend tend associate with so many things like first dates, celebrations, lovely holidays. And it's marketed so cleverly as well. You need this to be sophisticated/fun/cultured/sexy. It's really difficult to break those associations I think.

I'm just feeling very angry at alcohol as an industry at the minute. This really helps! I'm angry at the expectation that I have to drink and as I said earlier in the thread, I feel as if I was always the designated drunkest girl at the party. I'm annoyed with myself for playing along with that and, I'll be honest, a few of my friends too, but hopefully that annoyance will pass.

I went to a climbing wall the other day and I noticed a lot of cool youngsters hanging out there of an evening. It was nice to see what people do instead of just drinking in front of the telly 😂. I enjoyed it too and can still feel it on my arms. Wanted to go today actually, but didn't get there in the end. I'm feeling quite positive about all-the-things-i-can-do-instead-of-drinking. But know this can all change.

I do feel as if I've had a bit of a turning point though and it is to do with friends I normally drink with. Before, the thought of never being able to drink with them again (and no, I don't mean a sniffter of port or one small glass of wine - I mean getting shitfaced) used to make me feel sad and anxious. As if I would be losing so much. But now I don't feel that way at all.

Morning all.
Six weekends without alcohol which is some going for me. Not really entertaining at the moment due to small home and waiting to move.
I have a book on the go and the new Marion Keynes is out this week.
I had Nosecco and faux Gin last night but although OK it just makes me need the loo.

I must find a new hobby.

Morning all, checking in on Day 9. Felt really down yesterday and it has carried into today a bit. I need to get out in this sunshine.

I completely understand the emotion connected to alcohol. So many positive emotions, holidays, birthdays, Christmas. Having to stay focused on the day to day as if I start thinking about the future events I get quite down. I do love the idea of not worrying about whether I can drink on the evenings my kids will be out though!

I think I need to find a hobby for the evenings. The climbing wall sounds a bit extreme for me, but love that people do that instead of the pub!

Morning!

Day 14 again here. Not even annoyed that that number is so low tbh, as it really was something I learned from. I now know I can't and actually don't even want to moderate. Moderate drinking sounds shit to me; that's drunken me and sober me . Drunken me thinks "what's the point in one small drink?", and sober me also thinks "what's the point in one small drink if it risks falling back into old ways"? So no. It isn't happening. And if I did it, it would only be to fit in or do what is expected or to please other people, so again, a hard no.

(Appreciate it's easy to be all feisty and the like at only 14 days in btw, but I hope I won't forget these points I'm making to myself)

@Borrowbox, sorry you're feeling down. It is good to get out in the sunshine, which I'm so excited to see. But also, if you don't feel like doing anything, that's also OK. Earlier in the thread I saw someone say to treat it like an illness and take to your bed if you need to. I think this is honestly great advice. For me, my first priority is not drinking for at least the first 6 months. So things like dieting, fitness, everything other than caring for my children and staying sober, is taking a back seat till I'm at least 6 months in.

It sounds as if I'm contradicting myself a bit there as I've been banging on about all the fitness things I want to do. But the key aspect is that I'm doing it if I WANT to do it. The minute I pressure myself with obligations other than family and veing sober, I will lose focus. So if I exercise, I'm doing it for pleasure/maybe a bit for distraction from anxiety which keeps coming up ATM (fog lifting after numbing my anxiety for so long) and because I want to. Not out of obligation.

Congratulations @sunshineforest. A month is such an important milestone! Don’t worry that you haven’t lost weight and aren’t dancing on a pink cloud, it’s definitely more a long term journey thing it seems, with waves of contentment.
I hope your day picks up @Borrowbox. Don’t think too far into the future as it gets sad and overwhelming sometimes. Just try to do something to make today a little happier for yourself. A walk sounds good.
Your strategy sounds a good one @GoodMuse. I’ve tried dieting and at first it was good, as my missing food so much made my missing alcohol much less of a thing. But I now realise it’s too hard doing it all at once in winter. I’m just going to eat healthily, move more and see what happens next.
Have a good day everyone. I’m on holiday today but still have the awful bloody toothache, if the antibiotics don’t kick in today I’m giving up hope!

@GoodMuse and @Borrowbox it is a huge huge deal when the scales slip from your eyes isn't it. I'm not angry yet but I am sort of incredulous.

I have taken it really easy this month. I made lots of home made cake (I am really not a baker) and just generally ate what I fancied and slept when I needed.

I've read lots of quit lit, which I have found really helpful, but one other book that I find useful is Katherine May's Wintering. Nothing to do with alcohol but it is about periods of change and the need to sometimes hunker down and hibernate a bit while you heal. I loved it and it gave me another framework through January.

I won't go back to drinking again if only because after years and years I am sleeping solidly through the night and that alone has been transformative.

So grateful for this thread, thank you all xx

That book sounds wonderful and is going straight on my tbr list!

Wintering is available free on BBC Sounds at the moment, although I expect it’s abridged:
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00127f6

Thanks @SparklingLime

I've ordered the paperback, as I have so many audiobooks to listen to already !

Checking in 🙌

@GoodMuse

Thanks *@SparklingLime*

I've ordered the paperback, as I have so many audiobooks to listen to already !

I hope you like it!