"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

@iswhois, this is a lovely, non-judgemental thread. Everyone is so supportive.

Maybe if you are able to read this and previous threads, it will help you to get started. Or just ask away if you like.

elsacraig that's amazing!! Happy 1 year sober-thday. And thank you for your insights and advice.

Welcome iswhois this thread is a great place to be. And remember wherever we are on the timescale the most important thing is we are not drinking today. So join us for today. And see you tomorrow for another today.

iswhois we were all on day 1 once and most of us have had a lot of day 1s. Sit yourself down have a cuppa and tell us all about it...

elsacraig HAPPY ONE YEAR what a fantastic milestone!

iamyourequal I feel like that ALL the time. Not all day every day but a lot. Heres what I keep trying to focus on... remember what it says in the books are rerouting neural pathways? And remember my slightly mad analogy about the undergrowth and the quad bike? You brain is taking its well worth path when it wants alcohol so it is completely normal to feel that way...but once the cravings passes I try to actively mark it and think "I didn't give in, and I'm glad I didn't". If we do that over and over and over and over again... eventually our poor battered brains will learn a new way to think. I really truly do believe that will work.

Today I went back to "the scene of the crime" so to speak. Back to the hostel where I lived during lockdown when I was getting wasted every single night. In some ways it was triggering, the sights, smells, rituals, the people...it felt odd at first but once we got eating and chatting I stopped thinking about booze and just enjoyed it. Also noticed once again how much I can smell alcohol on people now, wine especially.

And this bit I feel a bit bad about writing but in the spirit of full disclosure... There was a lass staying there who was helping cook the meal who was obviously quite drunk...she was perfectly nice but she was saying some slightly random things and repeating herself a bit while everyone else had just had one or two. It was honestly like looking in a mirror...I was 100% that girl. Made me feel a bit funny.

Oh also....there was a lady there who cares for orphaned joeys. JOY.

Thank you @Breathmiller and @Hangingover. Everyone on this thread is awesome!

Oh wow, @ElsaCragg - that's bloody fantastic. Really well done! Enjoy your well deserved celebrations.

I'm sure you smashed it, @Hangingover

Welcome @iswhois. You're in the right place for non judgemental support. You can do this and you wont regret it!

Thanks @Hangingover. Glad it’s not just me! Did you tell your hostel friends you are now AF? Did they notice a difference in you?
Welcome aboard @iswhois. How is your first evening AF going? You will feel soo much better tomorrow morning than you did this morning. Guaranteed!

Thank you for your kind words @Teetotallyimperfect

Congrats @ElsaCragg, amazing!
Nice one re your interview @Hangingover, good luck with round 2! It's funny when we have these moments, possibly gifts to keep us going??
Welcome @iswhois! Great to have you onboard.

Thank you @NeedAUserNameAllTaken

Congratulations @ElsaCragg, absolutely brilliantly well done and thanks for letting us know your top tips 😊

Thank you @Drybird2020, and for starting the original thread and keeping things going during these difficult times.

11 weeks today and I am off to go to a yoga workshop. As a student!!! Yay. Much nourishment for me and self care. Much better for me after a long couple of weeks than a bottle of wine and a hangover would have been. It's lovely how it opens up new possibilities for other comforting joyful things. I didn't have to abstain last night and miss out on my usual Friday night because I was going to yoga - because my usual Friday night doesn't involve toxifying (that's a word right?) my body any more It just all fits in together into my AF life.

For anyone lurking and feeling they will miss out by not drinking, honestly ? What you gain is soooo much better.

Have a great weekend everyone. It is WILD up here in Scotland this morning.

Ooh enjoy @Breathmiller, what a lovely way to start the weekend!

Irrelevant update: DP coming home tomorrow. DPs other friend is going home tonight so it's just DP and Shag-twin left. They are going to dinner together. Wtf 😂

(For anyone new...I had a fling two night stand with a nice man at home in London six years ago, before I met DP. DP and I met, fell in love and been together 5 years. When DP and me came to Australia to go traveling in Feb against the longest odds in the planet we bumped into the guys twin (shagee and twin both live in Aus now). He and twin and DP all do the same hobby. DP and Shag-twin now some sort of bromance apparently)

11 weeks today and I am off to go to a yoga workshop. As a student

This sounds AWESOME. I did 10 days in Bali at a yoga place in Feb it was so amazing. Felt so peaceful.

Speaking of peaceful...the CBD isolate oil does seem to be making my anxiety a bit less spikey. Might be a placebo but have ordered some for when I get home to carry on the experiment.

@Breathmiller isn't the weather just amazing? Loving watching it from a cosy house but hoping it calms enough for my usual run through the woods later on. I am envious re the yoga retreat, but I'm doing so much more practice now and I'm proud that my kids now see me reaching for the yoga mat when I'm stressed rather than the wine. Congratulations on your 11 weeks. 🎊

I love a yoga retreat. I usually go to a Buddhist centre for a week in winter but haven't been for a few years.
This was the year a teacher friend and I were supposed to be organising a retreat in Spain together. And I was looking at places locally to start a retreat here. Hopefully that can happen again at some point.

The weather is fab... from indoors. Did you get your run drybird ?

@Breathmiller I did get out running, thank you! The sun came out and it was glorious, although my feet were soaked. It's stunning again today, I'm going to press gang the kids into raking up leaves.

@Hangingover, did you get your bloke back from Shagtwin? And did you think any more about the valium? Re the CBD oil, it's good to have another weapon in your arsenal, but how does it work with a previous benzo addiction and having one valium, would it be like me having one drink? Forgive my ignorance.

@iswhois, how are you getting on? Do you feel ready to start? The first part is tricky but it gets easier. I'd have done this years ago if I'd realised how straightforward it would be and how much better I'd feel about everything.

Having said that, I can't be sanctimonious, I had a bad day yesterday. I didn't want to drink but I came up against some of the reasons I used to. They haven't gone away and I'm still not brilliant at dealing with them.

Sodding clocks have changed, too! I thought it was next weekend.

did you get your bloke back from Shagtwin? And did you think any more about the valium? Re the CBD oil, it's good to have another weapon in your arsenal, but how does it work with a previous benzo addiction and having one valium, would it be like me having one drink?

Funny you should ask! Me and DP just had a bit of a frustrating and weepy (me, not him) session about this. See, it isn't like you having one drink or, actually, me having one drink. I've had benzos therapeutically in hospital twice since my addiction and although I enjoyed them very much I didn't then immediately go out and try to score some. It didn't even cross my mind tbh. I know realistically having one on a flight isn't going to kick me back into active addiction...I have no idea where I'd even get any. I was never the sort to go looking on the streets for them. I bought them legally online. The kind I was buying used to be really easy to obtain because they were unregulated but since they've been made illegal they're about as hard to come by as regular street valium. I'd be way more worried about me slipping back into drinking if I had a drink on the plane. DP, "If it's really that bad surely it better for you to have a wine than a Valium". Sadly he is is wrong...the relapse potential for me for wine is WAY more than one valium but it is 100% not DPs fault that he doesn't understand that - it's mine. DP has never been any kind of addict and I told him when we first met (when I was doing outpatient rehab) that all addicts lie. He is only trying to keep me safe and I should love him for that not be angry. I'm reaping what I sow; I misused drugs.

It actually reminding me of the bit in Rachel's Holiday where she's at the rehab place and has to go to the dentist and she's absolutely OUTRAGED and INDIGNANT that they expect her to do something genuinely hard and painful without drugs or alcohol to detract from the discomfort.

It's a bitch this honesty stuff. I could have just pocketed the fecker and necked it at the airport and DP would never have known.

Oh man @Hangingover that sounds really tough. You are doing the right thing talking with your DP about this though. As someone with a previous taste for prescription magazine I wouldn’t really believe myself if I said “I wouldn’t even know where to get hold of it!”. An addict always always will get hold of this stuff. And if your previous drug of choice is no longer available, well we both know you could easily get hold of something not too dissimilar. I’m sorry, I hope you don’t mind me speaking frankly. And I know you know all this stuff too. Doesn’t mean it’s not really fucking hard (it fucking is!!!). You’re doing a fab job. Hang in there.

Hi Iv just found this thread and it's really struck a chord with me. Iv not drank since Apr 2019. This is partly to do with pregnancy also. However I can't quite believe it's been that long ! I was binge drinking before on the occasional night out . I would suffer absolutely horrendous hangovers lasting a week or more. Since having kids this is all I have done. However in younger years was a big drinker. I have nights I have no memory of and done many things I'm so embarrassed of.
I even sometimes have nightmares about drinking and that I have a night out coming up and I am dreading it.
I have never actively decided to be a "non drinker" and in my family everyone drinks . However I find the thought of not drinking much nicer . Because of lockdown etc I have had no pressure to "drink" and therefore have been able to carry on alcohol free for much longer .
After reading this thread and it resonating in so many ways it's really making me think I may never drink again.
I hope you don't mind me sharing my story.

It’s great you have shared your story @Allhallowseve! Congratulations on 18 months AF, that’s amazing! Especially if your family are drinkers.

I too used to get dreadful hangovers from big nights out. It is a relief to know I will never let that happen again. I would completely waste a Saturday in December every year in the aftermath of my work’s Christmas night out and absolutely hate myself for it. I can remember always enjoying the first couple and then just keeping drinking, not because it’s great fun, but because I was actually having a pretty crap time with other drunk people I didn't have much in common with, but would keep drinking to try and improve the situation and make it fun. It’s crazy.
Wishing you a calm and uneventful return to the Uk @Hangingover. I don’t have experience of pill addiction to give advice but I hope you get it all sorted and I totally get your need for something to calm yourself. I go to my GP before all major dental work and ask for something for my nerves to get through it.

I am bloody ridiculous. I've been crying on and off all day, feel spaced out and dizzy and have to keep dashing to the loo. My teeth hurt from biting down on them (I broke a tooth on a flight to the Canaries once actually) and the flight isn't for two days still. Acute anxiety is almost impressive in its awfulness. Feels like my whole nervous system is on fire. I'd do anything for something the take this feeling away 😢

Hi all. 84 days AF today. Needed to stop due to fatty liver, high liver levels etc. Appointment with liver consultant next week.Struggling at the moment as can’t imagine Christmas/rest of my life AF. It’s like I feel bored of it already! Is this it now forever??

Hey @Lifechange2020, well done on your 84 days which is amazing!!!
Why are you bored by it? What about alcohol do you think makes life more exciting? Unpacking that will be helpful to you I think.

I was REALLY worried about being bored and boring without booze but honestly I think I’m just the same!!! I still have lovely dinners, dance, fun evenings with friends and in fact I still bump into stuff and fall asleep on the sofa😂😂😂 I just don’t get hangovers and waste as much money!😂

For me though it was a choice to quit, I wasn’t forced through ill health. Maybe you feel frustrated with it because it was out of your hands?