Day 1 for anyone just starting out

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Hi all. This is my day 1. I have joined some other threads for support but thought I would start a new one for anyone just starting out on this journey. I have a drink problem. It got worse over lockdown.i have had day 1 before and failed but this time I am starting off prepared. I have books to read. I have joined Mumsnet for support and have told my family and friends.

Ywna to be fair he is young so maybe he just does not know why he behaves like that, I am not saying what he did is ok and I am sure he knows it is wrong. Sometimes kids just can't get their feelings in check and understand their emotions. I really feel for you, I had a similar thing with my dd but it was less anger and more emotion. Looking back it was tough and I was lucky the school helped and we accessed CAMHS so we now have coping mechanisms in place.

Take a deep breath and carry on you are doing really well, lots of tough things to negotiate. Keep posting in here. Hope things feel a little easier.

@Ynwa1234 dont be hard on yourself, kids push us to our limits, mine were same.

Cahms are fantastic so maybe you could try them.. it sounds like he maybe just needs some coping strategies. Parenting is not easy thats for sure.

I am still struggling and was hoping to at least be starting to feel better. Day 4 is usually my day when i give up but so far i have stuck with it. Wonder when it begins to feel worthwhile

@Ynwa1234 hi hope your ok. Your not a bad parent. We are all just doing our best with what we have. I myself have had a child attend cahms, part of being a good parent is asking for and accepting help when we need it. I think your a great parent.

Your in laws sound hard work, i would personally minimise contact but i know thats not easy. They should be suporting their grandson not criticizing his mum.

Day 4 nearly over for me cant believe i have done it. Shop is shut so no way to get wine

It's my husband's birthday and he wants to pop to the pub. I've made myself the designated driver so I can't drink 😁lemonade it is!

Oh ynwa it sounds like you've a lot on your plate. I agree with justdont post,we are all doing our best

Thank you everyone for being here. I genuinely could not do it without coming on here to let off steam and get support

For anyone struggling with a plateau, or not feeling the benefits yet, or starting to get the "it'll be different this time" whispers:

www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

@Calphurnia thank you for the link, bedtime reading for tonight. The more information the easier it will become i think

Hope your all doing ok. Another day done. Well done

I did it😁was worried I'd be bored but it was actually fine. Just had a couple of lemonades and actually enjoyed it. And best bit is I can go to bed with a clear conscience and hopefully feel good in the morning! Feel exhausted now😴night everyone

@noel66 well done wooohoooo what a huge step. Big hugs to you, i am so pleased. You have this nailed.

Thank you ☺️I was really worried when he said he wanted to go to the pub. Next big hurdle will be not drinking at home over the weekend 😬

Morning everyone, was in a fowler yesterday, just woke up.and thought couldn't be arsed with husbands and kids today but sure muddle on. I didn't do any exercise, just said stuff it, anyway I didn't cave. My counsellor asked me did I think I was an alcoholic and I said yes and said he didn't think so (wft) there is a difference full blown alcolohism and dependancy, I got confused as I thought there goes the stuff I have in my head to keep me off it. Hopefully a better day today. I feel.stiff and stressed even though I'm.doing yoga and walks every day. Annoying!!

@Rupertpenrysmistress and @ymna1234. I have a 7 yri old 3rd child out of 4 and his behaviour was/is off the charts. No answers (my hairdresser gives me tips about remaining calm and not addressing him when he is bold and to take hand and lead to room without a word as he can't fight with himself in there) 2 weeks every day of this and we do 'private chats' where he can say anything he likes to me about a problem and I will not say anything or give out, just hugs. Hmmm sort of working but I feel your pain.

@Justdonthavethefirstone im hearing you, when does it get easier. I said to myself after the first week, I'm.getting to 15 days (today) and then 30, can't wait for 30 as that's when it 'seemingly' gets easier. We will see

@noel66 I'm going through shite with DH too but he always had the 'its your drinking' excuse. I feel.a LOT more confident in standing up to him day by day, he hasn't a leg to stand on as I'm sticking to my side. I understand he is angry and I've apologised etc but I do see light at the end of the tunnel however difficult it will be. Another week you will feel much more confident too. Between that and looking at my poor kids little (annoying and need a slap lol) faces is keeping me sober

Me again sigh, meant to ask is anyone else getting counselling? it is part of my care plan. It's me personally keeping off the liquor but it's great for confidence as with my bridges to mend he is the only one telling me I'm doing wonderful and has given me a few DH tips lol. Not for everyone and I know it's difficult to fit in and expensive

Thanks orchid and ynwa🙂we are starting an online marriage counselling course in a couple of weeks so hoping that will help. He actually drinks more than me but I feel mine is a problem for me as I get anxious and upset when I've had to much. I usually drink 4/5 bottles of wine a week. I used to say it was to unwind or a treat etc but if it's causing me anxiety it's neither of those things.