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Alcohol support

Day 1 for anyone just starting out

989 replies

Justdonthavethefirstone · 02/08/2020 13:58

Hi all. This is my day 1. I have joined some other threads for support but thought I would start a new one for anyone just starting out on this journey. I have a drink problem. It got worse over lockdown.i have had day 1 before and failed but this time I am starting off prepared. I have books to read. I have joined Mumsnet for support and have told my family and friends.

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noel66 · 06/08/2020 10:07

I'm so sorry your going through these problems to. It's so hard but this thread has been wonderful for me. It's keeping me accountable and a place to offload (I'm very shy in person and very meek and mild usually) it's just nice to write stuff down and have someone listen.

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Justdonthavethefirstone · 06/08/2020 10:28

@Ynwa1234 morning. Yes i read the link but again its just to overwhelming for me at the moment. Talking way to far into the future. But a good link and might help some.

@OrchidJewel i am so sorry you and your husband are having problems but its great your confidence is coming back. Well done. i hope i startto feel less anxious and more confident soon.

Well today 5 here. I have started job searching. I have been unhappy in my job for a while but been too miserable and hangover to do anything about it. I know it might take awhile to find a new job but at least i am trying to improve things. I am already realising how shitty i let my life become. Its not pretty. But this is day 5 of sobriety and day 1 of fixing things.

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Rupertpenrysmistress · 06/08/2020 11:21

justdonthavethefirstone you are doing well it's tough because you know day 5 is fab but you know your anxiety makes it difficult.
I found the anxiety for me eased quickly I think it part due to me being able to trust myself and achieve something so, for me getting sober showed me how resilient I am, this them helped me to look with clarity at my other problems.

I think alot of us dislike ourselves and then you only see the bad. Sobriety does make things feel tougher initially as things are viewed without the filter of alcohol.

You are all doing so well morning is permanent and these things will also pass.
I didn't really want to read that link I am familiar with PAWS and whilst it might be useful to know about it for me, it's too soon. Have a great day.

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Rupertpenrysmistress · 06/08/2020 11:23

Sorry should say nothing is permanent not morning!

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OrchidJewel · 06/08/2020 13:16

@ymna1234 without a doubt my 7 year old is the angriest, this was even before lockdown, I was going to get play therapy, so I will look into it again. He also swears etc. When he gets angry I say nothing, take him out of the room and get him to push my hands across the room and also to jig up and down shaking whole body. He has issues lol.

I got no conclusion about the alcolohism or dependancy bit as I was confused and not really listening lol. I'm not going to dwell on it. I too smoke like a trooper. We can plan giving up that in a few months sober Smile

Yes I'm very stiff too, seem to be holding it all in my neck area. Would have thought all this shagging yoga would have released me.

Eyes still.puffy Angry suppose it will take a while to see the physical benefits

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Okayokayok · 06/08/2020 15:15

Hi everyone just checking in, day 4 for me. Slept terrible last night but think I had too much caffeine yesterday so have been drinking decaff today. I will be tested tonight as OH finishes work for a long weekend this evening and usually we Would have some wine tonight! Then usually I would moan and complain all day tomorrow while trying to take the kids out then be straight on the wine at dinner time. Looking forward to actually feeling fresh tomorrow for our day out! I've been exercising like a mad woman but I've noticed I will swap one addiction for another and I guess exercise is my new one! I'm making a point not to diet as I can tend to get fixated with calories if I focus too much so for now exercise is keeping me happy.

Hope everyone's feeling good i haven't had time to read through everyone's posts but will do later after dinner

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Rupertpenrysmistress · 06/08/2020 16:16

Hi okayokayok day 4 for me too. It's my birthday tomorrow so off to Tesco to get some Becks or nosseco . I tend to swap one addiction for another, wish mine was exercise though. Imagine how fresh you will feel in the morning you will feel so pleased with yourself. Luckily for me my DH rarely drinks not sure how I would deal with someone drinking too much around me. At that point I struggle and think oh I can just have one ๐Ÿ˜‚.

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Ynwa12345 · 06/08/2020 17:10

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Ynwa12345 · 06/08/2020 17:12

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Rupertpenrysmistress · 06/08/2020 17:33

Ynwa I have been thinking about the alcohol content too, seems silly but I really don't know. Nosseco is alcohol free but 0.5 so wondering whether just to stick to kopparberg ๐Ÿ™„.

I have some treats for myself already any excuse!! won't be making much saving by not drinking at this rate. Going out for lunch tomorrow so need to work out what I will drink. Lots of people have suggested visualising how you see yourself when around alcohol such as me sitting with my lunch and a lovely af cider and ice, especially if you are doing something likely to trigger you.

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Rupertpenrysmistress · 06/08/2020 17:36

Ywna just thinking how does you son get on at school? Does he have behaviour issues there too? I know it must be really tough for you, just wondering if the school have any ideas as they can be useful.

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Ynwa12345 · 06/08/2020 18:03

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Rupertpenrysmistress · 06/08/2020 18:12

Ywna that sounds positive to me then, he knows who to behave for (teachers) so that is a great reflection on your parenting skills and who he can relax with (you) so I guess if swearing is his main issue that is all that needs addressing. How does he get on with his brother? Do you think he gets envious of you spend time with him?
I remember my dd hit and shouted at me after I had an operation ๐Ÿ˜ฏ but when I spoke to her she said I should not have left her. I think she was worried about me but didn't know how to handle it she was prob about the same age. I do think 7 is a tricky age as so much is expected of them but they are still really young and often (in my case) they have a younger sibling who takes your time up.
Well done for staying at though.

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Ynwa12345 · 06/08/2020 18:19

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Ynwa12345 · 06/08/2020 18:23

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Ynwa12345 · 06/08/2020 18:32

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OrchidJewel · 06/08/2020 18:40

@ymna1234 ah my son has also moved school and he said he got a bug in his brain since he went to new school (he seemed to settle extremely well) so it has to have something to do with our boys.. Also I have a child with SN so a lot of his therapy advice I can use on the bold one

@Okayokayok wish I also was addicted to exercise Smile

Happy birthday @Rupertpenrysmistress may it be a lovely sober one

I'm at my trigger time of night so just had a tonic water. Not going down the AF drinks yet, afraid I'd get the taste. Sleep is still tricky, I stayed up reading till 1 and zonked out then. Have been knocking back vitamins so hopefully I will start feeling sober benefits soon

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Ynwa12345 · 06/08/2020 19:46

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Justdonthavethefirstone · 06/08/2020 19:46

Hi everyone sorry not been around much today. I am just working through all the posts i have missed but well done to everyone

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Justdonthavethefirstone · 06/08/2020 19:50

Bit of background on me, i had my first child very young so have an adult child and have 2 other children. One is on the asd spectrum. So i have a lot of parenting under my belt. But i can tell you, i am no expert. We are all just doing what we can with what we have. I will read over the threads but just wanted to say, parenting is like alcohol, you look around and think everyone else has it under control, but they dont.

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Rupertpenrysmistress · 06/08/2020 21:01

justdonthavethefirstone that's a perfect analogy re looking around and assuming everyone has it together but, somehow we are the one's failing. Just reading Mrs d is going without and she says that about, seemingly having it all together but it's a front

Kids are tough and totally agree a trigger for alcohol so, please keep chatting about your children let's see if we can help.
Here is looking forward to a sober day 5. I really need some sleep tonight, not slept properly since I stopped drinking.

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OrchidJewel · 07/08/2020 06:42

How's everyone doing? I'm going to download Chris Beck, 'You lied to me' to tip away at on the weekend. Got my first invite to a pub. Lovely girls I work with, no way am I admitting anything. No matter what if it slips out in work it would spread. No date set (it's up to me when aghhhh as I'm the only one with kids) I won't drink but the excuses I'm thinking, food poisoning etc is ridiculous. What is anyone else saying for the first while?

Gets off to anyone who is getting through this with their partners still drinking. You are stronger than me. My DH hasn't drunk since I came back but he is a health nut.

@Justdonthavethefirstone very best of luck with the job hunting, nothing worse than being miserable in your job
@Rupertpenrysmistress parenting SN is hard and nail on the head there with children being a trigger

Sleep seems to be the biggest problem doesn't it??

Keep posting your days everyone to keep us all motivated

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Ynwa12345 · 07/08/2020 07:23

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Ynwa12345 · 07/08/2020 07:26

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