Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

That’s amazing @Hangingover!! #goalz

that's great hangingover so good to really see that shift in thought process.

I love the YES title for next time- does anyone else imagine it as the When Harry met Sally cafe scene?

Nice work @Hangingover, you are doing great💪

@SparklingLime your retreat sounds perfect, enjoy!

@SparklingLime what is your retreat? I would love to go on retreat right now.

Hello all, just checking in after a really really hard day (work and kids, mostly!). But not only am I still sober, I didn’t even want to drink to fix things. Because I am fucking awesome💪💪💪 12 more sleeps until my big 6 month anniversary!🤩🤩🤩

Hope you’re all well x

well done at getting through a hard day. You are an AF warrior!!
Hope tomorrow is easier bunnies

You certainly are, @BunniesBunniesBunnies!!

It’s like a mental health retreat, @Breathmiller. If I give the name it would be a bit identifying as it’s local but I can PM you a link. It’s going well.

(I may have inadvertently given the impression that I’m on a yoga retreat. Very much not - I never get past lesson 2 with yoga. I did go on a meditation retreat in NZ, but I had so many panic attacks that a lovely Buddhist nun suggested I might be happier joining the partying backpackers a few fields over 😂)

Awesome indeed @BunniesBunniesBunnies - and I only have 1o more days until I am into treble digits - woohoo - 90 days today!!

Glad the retreat is going so well @SparklingLime!

@Breathmiller - let's just retreat here for now - I think we deserve it

I love how addict pisshead me used to stumble to a service station no matter how far away it was to buy fags and beer at all hours and sober addict me still does the same walk of shame only this time my fat ass is after vegan magnums and oreos cheersz with camping mug of decaf

@SparklingLime it's good to have you back and the retreat sounds like A Good Thing.

@Hangingover that sounds like an important shift to me! Reward yourself with all the pies, always.

And @Ravenswick and @BunniesBunniesBunnies, congrats on the day count! Bunnies I'm sorry to hear that things are hard going, I can relate. Are you running loads? I can't get enough of it.

General greetings to all and sundry. This follows a series of longer posts that disappeared due to me getting distracted and not checking that they had stuck properly, so I've rather lost my posting vavavoom for today. However, I'm now 9 months alcohol free and as pleased as ever to be free from the tyranny of booze.

Nine months, @Drybird2020!!! That is quite something! 🎉🎉🎉

Hi all, place marking as I lost the thread. Off ro bed now but will catch up over the weekend. Hope all are doing ok x

@Drybird2020 9 months AMAZING JOB!!!!

I forgot my own 4 months! cuntingfucknuggets

@Drybird2020 holy fuck 9 months! YES!

I’m not running as much as I’d like to but I’m swimming loads and loads! Things have calmed down a bit for me again luckily.
@Hangingover 4 months🤩🤩🤩

I love not drinking. When everything else goes to shit I like to remind myself there’s still this one massive thing in my life going really well!

"I love not drinking. When everything else goes to shit I like to remind myself there’s still this one massive thing in my life going really well!"

Yay to this, and massive high fives to @Drybird2020 and @Hangingover - over a year together, smashing it!

Hi all, I'm 2 days away from a month sober.

Several factors are weighing on me at the moment.

1. No familial or friendly support.

1. Living in supported accommodation.

1. Universal credit not helping with my severe lack of funds.

I can't deal with not being at work but due to a break up I don't have the things I need to find work quickly.

All of which is compounding on my extremely low mood. I've called Samaritans, and I'm speaking to a support worker from CGL but for all their effort, it doesn't seem as if they are equipped to help.

Where do I go from here? The cravings are unreal and I'm cooking so far, but every hour that passes, I get weaker. :(

That’s an amazing achievement in the face of very challenging circumstances, @AtillaTheHungry. And every hour you stay AF is a further achievement.

For further practical support have you considered AA? You don’t have to consider yourself an alcoholic to get help there, just be struggling with alcohol. Meetings seem to be a mix of in person and online at the moment:

www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/AA-Meetings

I went to an all-women one and it was such a kind and supportive atmosphere.

Keep talking here as well. How are you doing this evening? Have you had some dinner yet? I’ve had spaghetti bolognaise out of the freezer 🤨

Hi everyone
Well done to all the 1 month ,4 month and 9 month milestones. Brilliant to read.

Hope you have had a nourishing retreat sparkling . Apologies for taking so long to return your PM, I've had a manic week.

@AtillaTheHungry. First of all well done on the month , especially doing it with no support. Stay on here, it really is a great support. But yes, also look at real life groups too. It's a brave and strong thing you are doing, and asking for help to do that is also brave and strong.

I'm sorry you are dealing with a lot at the moment.. the thing that keeps coming in to my mind is that when life is shit it's not helped in any way by drinking. We're fooled into thinking it would help, especially short term, but it doesn't.

None of these things your dealing with will be helped or changed for the better by having a drink. It may feel like it would give you a break or short term relief but when you wake up the next day feeling crap these things will still be there.

There are things at the moment I have no control over in my life..crap things. My (not so old) mum losing the battle with Parkinsons and Dementia and me not being able to see her properly or help her as she was moved into a nursing home being the hardest.

When I get my allocated half hour visit outside with masks and gowns on and she can barely recognise me or talk to me from a distance, I weep all the drive home. And it crosses my mind that "Fuck It" a bottle of wine would be perfectly acceptable reaction right now.
But I don't follow that thought. Because i know that the next day I would feel shit, my anxiety would go back through the roof. And my poor wee mum would still be stuck in a slightly crap nursing home with Parkinsons.

So, what i mean is that when there are crap things going on in life, none of them will be helped by me drinking. It just makes dealing with them a bit harder.

Its really another view from the yoga mat i suppose. Me meditating and practising yoga doesn't stop my mum's sad situation...but it definitely helps me deal with the emotional load it brings. Practising meditation, yoga, non-drinking ...none of these things stop crap stuff happening in life but it helps me deal with it all much better.

Wishing you well. Talk to us here...about deeper stuff if it helps, or just come on and spraff nonsense when you have a craving just until it passes. And it will pass. I know it helps me to change the word 'craving' to 'thought'. It's not a craving , that seems quite intense and harder to fight. But a thought? A mere thought? Well, that I can sit with and let pass with a lot more ease

How are you today, @AtillaTheHungry? What @Breathmiller says is wise and true, drinking wouldn't help this shitty scenario. And this way you will have your self respect.

Jesus breathmiller you're really going through it I'm sending you lots of sympathy - you're doing very, very well to be off the sauce while this is going on. I was with DM pretty much 24/7 (and pissed for a lot of it) for her last 4 months and it was still horrendous. How old is she?

In fact its four years ago today I sat with DM in the hospice drinking red wine and narrating im my own special way what was happening in strictly for her one of my ex clients was on it that year and he's a dickhead she'd been ill for four years and dying for a year and a half and properly dying for three months. I went to sleep on the horrible foam oblong matress thing on the floor, to then wake up suddenly at 4am because it was happening and then it happened and then it was over. Had a bit of a cry about it yesterday actually. Am eating Oreos instead of drinking wine though. We can all do this brave soberistas.

Hello to anyone who remembers me. I need to come back. Dp started having the odd beer again. I joined in. Nothing crazy but I need to stop again- I got to over 200 days can you believe!

Oh, @Breathmiller and @Hangingover, that is all so heartbreaking and so hard.

Welcome back, @StillDumDeDumming. I was just thinking of you the other day and wondering how you’re doing. I’ve also slipped and am back. As Hanging said, just get back on the horse... 😊