Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

Bad luck equal - sounds like similar things set you and I off! I watched Rick Stein last night which used to be my go to comfort show but as a teetotaler and a vegan it's taken the shine off somewhat. Keep playing the tape to the end! You wouldn't be on this forum if it were a positive force on your life. So hop back up on the wagon.

I honestly think you're amazing for doing so much when your DH is drinking. I would have failed WEEKS ago if DH were still drinking, especially if he tried to encourage me to join in. I'd fold like a napkin in a rainstorm. Keep on keeping on and keep writing on here, it helps.

I finally swallowed my pride and started email all the rival agencies to the one I used to work for asking for any openings yesterday. I dont know why I'm so embarrassed to do it since I wasn't laid off or anything. Anyway one actually wrote back asking for a meeting, how about that!

I really wish we all lived near eachother any could meet up in RL for coffees occasionally. Anyone in London or the South West?

Well hello everyone. How busy it is on here. Fabulous to see lots of new people, milestones and support. Well done especially to those of you with other shit going on and managing to not drink! Really well done.

To those of you who don't know me I've been here from the start with @Drybird2020. This thread was a life saver at the start - I found it really really hard as I loved drinking! I slowly came to find it easier. I slowly decided I'm never drinking again. I slowly lost weight and I've slowly made some other changes in my life.

I got married in July and didn't drink. I've recently had a miscarriage and not once did I think about drinking to deal with it. No longer do I look to have a drink at those many trigger points I used to have.

I'm embarking on a career change - something I've wanted to do for ages but now I have the courage to do it. It all comes with better sleep, better financial decisions and clearer thinking. And there are so many more hours in the day now!!

To those of you who are fairly new on this journey nothing happens over night. In the beginning your one and only job each day is to not drink. Do this and I promise you that slowly everything will fall into place.

Morning All. aprilfoolsbaby. I’m so sorry to hear you suffered a miscarriage, that’s dreadfully sad, I hope things work out for you soon. Stay strong and they will. What a fabulous inspirational post to log into this morning from you, you have done so well, so many positive things have happened because you took that step and made things change!
Thanks too for your words of support Hanging. I think I am going to stop the AF beers and AF wine and pretending life is the same but with fake drink. I need to embrace sobriety fully. I totally get it with rick stein etc. all these cookery shows are chock full of wine. I have everything crossed for your interview- you will do fab! When do you get back to the UK? This is a whole new chapter in your life. I’m afraid I’m in Scotland, so no coffee for me. It’s lovely to be friends with so many different folk on here though. I never thought I’d be in chats with a tee-total vegan southerner! It’s great 🤣
You guys are truly fabulous you know, such a support. I felt truly glum and pathetic yesterday and now I’m back to ‘bring it on, I can do this!’ Have a good day everyone. Sorry for garbled post, meant to be working....

Thanks for the wise words aprilfoolsbaby and so sorry to hear about your miscarriage It's good to hear it gets easier!

Equal we're back on Halloween then two weeks quarantine - it's going to be a BIG shock.

Do you know what's funny I tried AF wine that a neighbor was drinking (she was doing so proudly and said "I've not had a drink in three days" like she'd discovered fire and it reminded me of me SO MUCH) and I didn't like it because it was too real! Same with AF sparkling wine. It actually makes the cravings worse because my body expects alcohol. I even find holding wine bottle really triggering. But the AF beers I've chugged so much for so long I think my brain is accustomed to them not containing alcohol now. So weird!

Had a surf today - resting shoulder has lasted all of 5 days :/

It's SO sunny here I love it. Had Deliciously Ella Sri Lankan curry (she might have a jolly wet name but she makes a good curry!) and fizzy water...aaaaaaah lovely.

Loads of wisdom on here especially from @aprilfoolsbaby - so sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

@iamyourequal, I found the weight thing really frustrating too - I actually put on weight for the first couple of months. I'm now back to where I was when I was drinking but haven't lost anything - but I do feel better in every other way.

FWIW the French thing is seductive but I'm not sure how real it is - their rates for cirrhosis are scarily high although they have come down a bit over more recent years - I suspect there is also a bit of advertising fuzz in our own brains and associating holidays with drinking as well...

@Drybird2020 we've been nattering so much we need a new thread! 😁

Wow, yes we do need a new thread! I'll get on that this evening.

@aprilfoolsbaby I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, I know how hard miscarriage can be.

I get what you're saying, @iamyourequal, about AF drinks helping to maintain a pretence. I read an interesting discussion on one of the other AF threads about how triggering they are for some people. I used Becks Blue as a parachute (that's how my DH described it and I like the term) when I first quit and now rarely have them. I'm glad you're feeling more positive today.

aprilfoolsbaby

Looking forward to the next thread. Big thanks to everyone on this one. I joined midway through and it has been such a support.
60 days tomorrow

Thanks everyone for the words of wisdom and well done on your 60 days *Breathmiller’ that’s fab!
I know you are all talking perfect sense and that drinking the AF stuff is a double edged sword. Ravenswick I think I will read up on the cirrhosis rates now to counteract all the wine-pleasure-sophistication bumph 😂. I’ve a plan in place to start some gentle exercise and read a little quit lit each evening to keep me in the right mindset. What is everyone else up to this week? Enjoy your final weeks surfing Hanging!

Oh and no pressure, but I think we are all really looking forward to your rallying intro for the next thread, if you are up for it Drybird2020 ? Don’t want to be too presumptuous, but I pray there is 4th installment, for my sanity!

You can do this Iamyourequal
No drama. Just jump back on. No need to catastrophise . You noticed it was happening and didn't like it so have now taken another path. Blips on the road happen and we all learn from these blips.

I have realised on the fake stuff that I can take it it's not something i particularly loved before. I can enjoy fruity AF ciders and light beers and even fake fizz because they weren't particularly my triggers. And they are quite good to my untrained taste of them. But fake wine is not only shit but it is too much of a trigger. And it just makes me miss the real stuff. And im better staying away from it.
I am noticing that having my fizzy water in my wine glass feels good now. After having done it before too . It's not a wine glass with a poor substitute in it anymore. It's a nice glass with a drink i like in it.

@iamyourequal the shiny new thread is here, and it's number five, would you believe!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4043965-YES-it-is-SO-worth-it-YES-it-gets-easier-and-YES-we-thought-it-was-impossible-as-well-its-not-A-thread-for-those-embracing-an-alcohol-free-existence?watched=1

See you all over there 😊

Omg it’s here. I’d best go take a look!! No5? No way! ( and thanks Breathmiller I have mini Appletise and cranberry juice and sparkly water arriving late today - hang the AF fake drinks! )