Staying Stopped - Alcohol Free, permanently.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a kind and supportive environment for anyone committing to an alcohol free life.

From Day 1 onwards, you are welcome here for support, encouragement, tips and chat. There are many of us, at different points on the journey some have been sober for years, months, or weeks, others are just starting out, but all are
committed to an alcohol free life and the freedoms it brings...

Freedom from the tyranny of booze and the effort of figuring out how much to drink, and how and when to procure and drink it.

Freedom from guilt, self loathing, and 3am wake ups, and the fear of what might have been said and done the night before.

Freedom from the pervasive sense of dread and shame.

Freedom to embrace life with energy, and to face challenges with an uncluttered head, a lighter heart, and a lighter recycling bin.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to hang out and ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

I check in here every day as part of my recovery. It has kept me accountable, and the wonderful posters who contribute have helped me more than they could possibly know. This is day 137, and I'll be here for a long time!

Cyllie thinking of you. How are you feeling?

I want to quite my job and be at home for a bit. There I said it. DH has been floundering for a good 10 years so i have been holding it together. I feel so very tired.

I want to be home with my children for a while. I have hated lockdown because I have been WFH 13 hours a day. 3 weeks ago back in the office. I am drowning. I said to DH yesterday I feel like I am literally losing my life.

myhands I hear you.

Hope everyone managing an AF weekend. I have found it surprisingly easy. Had a thought of wine but just shoved it out my mind. Prob had enough of my arsehole behaviour and know i can be better

Hi there everyone. DH and I are cutting right back on alcohol as lockdown led us to drinking every night. Started to think about booze a lot. We’ve been AF for the last 2 weeks but do intend to have the odd drink as when we did Dry Jan it was harder knowing we couldn’t. Are any of you occasionally drinking?

Hey @Greenpop21 well done for cutting back!! But in answer to your question, no the people on this thread do not drink at all (and some find it hard to talk about drinking), there are other threads though for moderating which are super friendly too, if that’s what you’re after🙂

@myhandsareverycold It stands out to me that you say “his decision is final”. That doesn’t sound very fair or equal☹️

With regards to the cleaner, why does he get the last say? If I were you I would say / okay! 4 hours of cleaning a week needs doing, you can do your two hours and I’ll pay for a cleaner to do my two hours😇😇😇😂

@BunniesBunniesBunnies

You are a genius. I'm definitely going to do that. Thank you!

Hi. First timer here, I don't usually post on serious issues. I rarely drink, but DH has had issues for a long time. He has diagnosed bi-polar disorder and has been self medicating with alcohol for the last 18 years. Today was his last drink. He has been prescribed Disulfiram which he will begin taking once the weekends alcohol is out of his system. He has tried to give up before, had therapy, CBT etc etc. But he's happy to start the medication. His psychiatrist has also prescribed diazepam to moderate the mania as they get worse when If he doesn't drink.
I don't really know why I'm posting. I suppose I'm just a bit tired and need a bit of support as it feels like I'm always supporting.
Thanks for listening.

Evening Everyone. GreenTeaMug is there potential for you to go part time? I’ve dropped a few hours and condensed the rest a bit. It’s a much better balance if you can get it, and everyone has the right to ask for it.
JimLaheysWhiskeyBottle, it sounds like a really tough time for you but this could be such a positive turning point if your DH quits drink and responds well to his meds. I don’t imagine his condition will have been helped by drinking. Wishing you both a healthy positive recovery through this.

• @myhandsareverycold* I empathise with you. I’m afraid mine can be a bit like that too. I try and take a stand but sometimes I just surrender. They just think they know best about everything all the time and should have the final decision. Mine will often take the final decision on things that barely affect him, but would mean so much to me. Sounds like the situation with your cleaner. Anyway, how is everyone else doing? I’m coping better than I might. Throwing all the AF drinks down me and pretending it a normal Saturday night. I’ve had walk, yoga, bath. Dinner still to come so all good. Though I’m under no illusion that my AF Sauvignon blanc is probably going to be honking rotten

Wow, the thread is very busy of late, just had a catch up. Hi to everyone and congratulations @jess3817 on your 100 day soberversary!

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Thanks @BunniesBunniesBunnies. Good luck to you all!

Though I’m under no illusion that my AF Sauvignon blanc is probably going to be honking rotten

It absolutely will be I'm afraid but maybe that's a good thing?? Perhaps if you drink enough of it the association between the wine glass, the colour or it the ritual or open the bottle etc with pleasure will be broken? My god we may have stumbled upon a new treatment plan!

@myhandsareverycold

@JimLaheysWhiskeyBottle, welcome to the thread. It sounds like your husband it getting the right treatment and support. Is anything offered to you?

Was the AF sauvignon as bad as you'd feared, @iamyourequal?

Day 2 no smoking and day 56 AF. Weirdly This Naked Mind is helping with not smoking too. I always considered myself to have an addictive personality (what an excuse) but the book has helped me to reframe that. Didn't even really crave one yesterday. I was also worried it would increase my craving for a drink but it hasn't happened yet.

Have a happy hangover free Sunday everyone

Morning all . I'm popping in to say hello and congratulations for keeping going. I am now 5 and half months in and it's still very important to me to keep checking in.

DH's friend came over on Friday night for a beer in the garden and brought me some Prosecco too. I still have absolutely no inclination to drink at all so it's safely sitting in the fridge waiting to be donated. I still can't believe that I'm saying that so if I can do it, and you're struggling with the early days and weeks, so can you.

It was the first time DH has drank alcohol since lockdown so I haven't had the same exposure that some of you have, and I didn't have any urge to join in or feel I was missing out. DH knows I am committed to not drinking so there's no pressure there either.

That sounds a very difficult situation you are in @JimLaheysWhiskeyBottle. Was life easier before when he stopped drinking previously?

Good morning. :) Thanks iamyourequal I would love to go part time, and we could manage it financially. When i suggest it to DH though he says 'why don't you start by working your allocated hours'? Lockdown has been a nightmare for me.

I keep hoping that as more staff come off furlough things might ease up. TBF to my workplace, they could not have known what was going to happen and we all expected things to quieten down, but it has not.

On the discussion about AF drinks- my view is 'whatever works' really. I might buy some becks blue today. I like some of the AF sparkling wine,s but never found a still AF wine I liked.

Last night I had a brief thought (I am 48 now) that I could be alcohol-free for the remaining 40 plus years of my life!! Just IMAGINE how much I can get done in all that time and how much fun I can have!!!! That is a really exciting thought. Because drinking has not been fun for a heck of a long time.

JimLaheys welcome. :)

myhands

to everyone. :)

Morning everyone, hope everyone has had a good weekend so far. Lovely day here weather wise so sure we'll be off out with the kids at some point. I never regret waking up feeling fresh and ready for the day.
What's everyone up to today?

Evening of day 15 here. Hope you're all doing well. Glugging down my gross but weirdly moreish no sugar, no sweetener no nothing sodas and doing embroidery.

Morning everyone,
I've failed to keep up with replies, the thread is moving so fast! Congrats to those who have achieved milestones, Bunnies and Jess from memory (sorry, I can't check back while typing because I then lose the post I'm writing - learned that the hard way)

@Hangingover I totally related to what you said about being bingey with everything in life, I'm extreme in my appetites and always have been; booze, food, fags, party drugs, if I liked it then I wanted it all. Maybe there's a way to channel the same urges into yoga, running and creative projects 😁

@GreenTeaMug I have had the same thought. This is the second half of my life and that's potentially a long time to enjoy being free from alcohol. And remembering booze isn't rose tinted for me, its fresh in my mind how little I enjoyed it and how much I disliked myself for doing it. I'm hoping that memory stays with me.

I'll be back later, off to do some gardening with the DC and then have a run.

Morning everyone. Well, the AF Sauvignon Blanc was pretty ropey, but not so bad that I’m not going to drink the 2nd half tonight. Having something chilled and bubbly in a wine glass is a great comfort to me in these early days. I just never thought I’d be a ‘Lambrini girl (I think that must be about how sweet it is! )
Well done on all the fab milestones, especially folks managing to quit smoking at the same time. That requires some hardcore determination I’m sure. Congratulations Ulysses 5 1/2 months is inspiring. It’s great you don’t even feel like drinking anymore. Are you able to say when that feeling kicked in?

Greentea your DH might have a point about your hours. It’s not right you are working so many extra and that won’t be doing your health any good. You need to tell your boss it’s too much!
Hangingover your embroidery looks really good, I think that’s Pusheen?
Anyway have a great day all. I’m not even up yet! Neither are my lazy DCs. I think we need some new lockdown rules!

@hangingover @drybird2020

Im also bingey,. Addictive personality i think. So thats why it has to be no alcohol atall. Have done well this weekend but still get those fleeting thoughts to go to shop for wine. Had some schloer on friday that was nice to drink not wine but not quiet juice either. Might stick to that when i get an urge.
@GreenTeaMug.
Myself also i cud have a good 50 years booze free. Would enjoy telling everyone i dont drink. Could seriously see myself being much happier abd i bet everyone who i told would be wishing it was them.

10days... Haha still a lot to go!

Hope everyone has a great day, bit rainy here so unsure what my plans are currently binge watching save me on now tv. Managed to put a couple of tie back hders up on the wall all by myself 😂 few holes to pollyfilla in right enough. Going to put some energy into learning diy as currently i suck!

another hand up for bingey here.

had bulimia for years and still tend to binge on food (stopped the purging though).

Drybird - I've been trying to channel it into yoga and running too. Thinking I need some sort of project🤔 @Jlou0712 I watched save me and save me too - the second one was a slightly easier watch - just finished the gangs of London - that's not easy to watch 😂 was having nightmares ovet it - so much blood and gore- stuck with it because I started it but sure am glad I've finished it 😂

I need a project too for sure. I taught myself knitting last year but have lost interest.

iamyourequal you are right about my hours and what you say. :) I know it I do. Part of my problem is that i am a very anxious person and i angst about my work badly.

I HAVE decided to not work this afternoon though. I had mentally put 3 hours aside to try and get a jump on the week. I might go to B&Q and sort out my window boxes instead.

@jess3817 il need to give that a try after save me. Iv heards loads people talk about it. I have got some painting to do as well so that will keep me busy. The things u have to do 😂

The bingeyness is definitely real and not something everyone has. It's not even just the amount for me it's speed too. When I got drunk after work if go home and cook myself a family sized portion of pasta with butter and cheese (wasn't vegan then!) and if practically inhale it. It was actually shocking I could eat so much so fast. At the pub I would always have to look at my fellow drinkers pints and make a real effort to try to slow down, subconsciously wishing they'd hurry up so I could go and buy more.