Staying Stopped - Alcohol Free, permanently.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a kind and supportive environment for anyone committing to an alcohol free life.

From Day 1 onwards, you are welcome here for support, encouragement, tips and chat. There are many of us, at different points on the journey some have been sober for years, months, or weeks, others are just starting out, but all are
committed to an alcohol free life and the freedoms it brings...

Freedom from the tyranny of booze and the effort of figuring out how much to drink, and how and when to procure and drink it.

Freedom from guilt, self loathing, and 3am wake ups, and the fear of what might have been said and done the night before.

Freedom from the pervasive sense of dread and shame.

Freedom to embrace life with energy, and to face challenges with an uncluttered head, a lighter heart, and a lighter recycling bin.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to hang out and ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

I check in here every day as part of my recovery. It has kept me accountable, and the wonderful posters who contribute have helped me more than they could possibly know. This is day 137, and I'll be here for a long time!

Sitting here thinking it would be a good. Idea to buy myself 2 bottles of wine.... Even tho i really know it wouldnt be. Amazing how you can be positive one minute and in a second its all downhill

Just breathe Jlou0712 and remember cravings only last a few minutes! Grit your teeth - it'll pass

Jlou go and clean the bathroom then take a walk. It will pass.

Don’t do it @Jlou0712!!! Cravings pass!!!!! And if you survive this one you’ll feel so proud!

@Jlou0712

Did it pass?

Just sharing a random thought I had today...

Since it's now been established that where cancer is concerned there is no safe amount of alcohol to drink, me and DP were wondering why the idea of abstaining from alcohol entirely doesn't seem to be widely promoted outside of conversations about addiction or certain communities/religions who forbid alcohol.

Like when you go to the doctor and they ask you if you smoke no matter how many you smoke a day they still advise you to stop smoking completely and offer support to do so as cigarettes are addictive and dangerous. They don't say "have you thought about cutting down your cigarettes?".

Maybe they just know that realistically it's advice no one would follow.

Sorry if that's come out like a ramble but it's just blowing my mind and almost making me angry how dangerous alcohol is and how we in the UK collectively stick our fingers in our ears and chuckle about the fact were ingesting something on a regular basis that would have warning labels on it if it were sold in a hardware store! I wish I never knew about bloody alcohol, how different my life and health would be! I and thousands of other I bet grew up thinking getting tipsy or drinking every night was completely and totally normal. It's so messed up.

@Jlou0712 it is a good watch. I hope you're okay and you managed to get through the rough patch earlier. Xx

Thanks for support everyone. Have got a bottle of fanta instead. Dinner then out a walk then it will pretty much be my bed time... I can do it.

@hangingover

Yip i grew up in a house where drink8ng almost every weekend was the norm and have ended up like that myself should have know better than to do it myself with my own children. Hopefully have time to turn it around tho they are 9 and 10...??

Hey all haven't posted in a bit but have been catching up on posts. Day 13 here and I am really starting to struggle, I have a very stressful time at home four out of five children have Autism and at the moment I am not getting a break or able to have a bit of time to switch off, so having the constant 'a wine will help the stress' I know it won't really. I'm Terribly anxious at the moment also which isn't helping.

A couple of precious posters had wrote about losing siblings I have lost two sisters myself and I do use alcohol to try and shut out the pain of that but alcohol and depression has got me into bad situations suicide attempts etc..the thing is I don't want to die it's just when alcohol is added to the mix well you know your not thinking straight!!

Sorry for the long post and a bit of a ramble I just have to get my thoughts out there a bit, did try and do a bit of meditation earlier which I know does help but it's just mission impossible to get space to do it as well.

Well done to everyone where ever you are on your recovery 🌟 going to really try keep posting I over analyse posting stuff a lot as well which stops me from posting. But today I'm just going with it so hope it makes sense. That bloody pesky sun as glorious as it is isn't helping me lol such a trigger!!

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend 😀

Thanks @jess3817.

I have got over it, its madness, is all really in the mind. Hopefully after a few weeks will have it out of my mind

@slantedbutenchanted that is such a heavy load to carry through life. I teach autistic children and have such respect for the parents who meet their needs day in day out, doing a fantastic job with a heavy toll on their own wellbeing. I have never come across four in one family, that's just astonishing. Hats off to you.

I've lost one sibling and the thought of another loss of that magnitude is heart breaking. Poor little you. 😓 No wonder you reached for a readily available, instant comfort. The thing is, if you can keep going with this, the difficult stuff will still be there, but you will manage it better. I'm very sure of this from my own experience, even though I have nowhere near the magnitude of what you have to handle. There are other posters on here who have had huge life-stuff going on, and they feel the same. Booze isn't a resource, it's a drain on your resources.

@Hangingover I hear you, and agree. Alcohol is the socially sanctioned drug that's far more harmful than some of the illegal ones, not just the illnesses it causes but the social issues, fights, domestic abuse, child neglect and abuse, foetal alcohol syndrome, drink driving accidents and deaths, work days missed... Those examples are just the ones off the top of my head. As a culture we turn a blind eye, it's seriously messed up.

@Jlou0712 well done. You did it, and you'll do it again too.

As an aside I'd like to say that "go and clean the bathroom" is my favourite piece of advice on these threads, ever. Thanks for that, @GreenTeaMug 😂

Hello everyone,

I've been lurking for ages, I hope you don't mind me joining you all.
I've been wrestling with my alcohol problem pretty much for 15 years (39 now). I had a breakdown in my mid 20s, and like many people, thought the drinking helped me cope. Although I've had therapy and feel much more at peace, I can't seem to let the booze go.

I 'only' drink at weekends, but sometimes I can get through 2.5 bottles in 2 days.

Like many of you, I find if I have dinner earlier, I don't keep topping my glass up. Once I'm full from a meal, I don't have the desire to keep drinking.

I even spent New Years eve sober at a party, as I was so scared of making a fool of myself (I have too many memories of drinking myself sick and embarrassing myself and my husband). I had a great time sober and enjoyed myself so much more AND was able to drive my friends home.

I hadn't drunk anything since last Sunday, but succumbed last night and I'm cross with myself, but I feel like it's a journey and kind of like stages of acceptance to finally becoming sober.

Anyway sorry to ramble on, just wanted to get it out as I haven't told anyone.
I hope I can offer support along the way. X

Hi @teazels

Hello, its good to get it all out. This is all new to me and i feel so much better.

I think the sober lifestyle is the way to go. Its terrible alcohol is so engrained in society.

Its good to have a place to come when you need some motivation or advice.

sorry

Going and cleaning something is my way of dealing with the cravings.

I have just sat through a zoom birthday party where almost everyone got rat arsed. I had lovely elderflower cordial with Fevertree mediterranean tonic water. It was lovely. I agree- the normalisation of alcohol is so dangerous to us all. In my work I deal with the fallout of drug abuse and how it affects families. And alcohol is far and away the most damaging, IMO. Because it is everywhere and socially sanctioned.

I feel like we are the lucky ones because we can see it for what it is.

Teazels it is lovely to have you join us. :)

Good on you for getting through it Jlou. :)

slanted My DS1 has autism. I am giving you a hug. xxxx

@myhandsarrverycold

Yeah. It passed never thought about it again 😁

@greenteamug

Yeah i love cleaning for clearing my mind so this is the way forward.

Your drink sounds lovely, i think i will experiment with some AF and see what my tipple is going to be ☺️

Thanks so much @Drybird2020 & @GreenTeaMug for your replies, I'm so glad I took the plunge and posted it's sometimes good to get stuff out there and even though I had such strong thoughts of going to buy wine I didn't act on them and I'm not going to either.
I just need to take it one day at a time and stop thinking too far ahead I can do that mostly with not looking into the future and thinking how it's going to be when the kids are bigger. So I need to do that with alcohol as well.

Ive had a good chat with a couple of close friends today they are all very aware of my struggles with alcohol and this week we are going to try a 20,000 steps a day challenge and they are going to help me with a couple of the children. The exercise will do me the best world of good mentally and defo physically since Food is my thing the now and I can really afford to lose a couple of stones but just need to focus on one isssue the now I'm thinking lol

Dry bird I have so much admiration for you as a teacher of Autistic children god any teachers tbh and esp when homeschooling is going on, my god it's bloody tough going

Hi to all.

Just checking in. Day 21 for me! Really enjoying this sober streak this time round. A couple of my friends know I'm not drinking but I've not actually admitted that I've given up for good. That's my next step.

Well done to everyone... especially those struggling. We've got this. Xx

Well done on day 21 @Tiggytico 🌟

Most of my friends know I'm wanting to do it for the long run, but I have said that before I really hope this time I stick with it. Just need to take it a day at a time 😀

I did four months and three weeks without a drink . My partner gave me a cheer at 100 days then thought I didn’t need any encouragement after that . I’ve now come home to my own place and have had a drink. I know I will regret it but I can’t see that I was a nicer person before so I don’t see the point at the moment

I’m just me now but richer

Well done on four months and three weeks @Splendidsunrise!!!

Of course it is your choice wether to drink or not, though I’m surprised you only feel richer (which is nice in itself!). Have you not noticed any other benefits?

I do know what you mean a bit as I “gave up” before for a few weeks and didn’t feel any benefits and so started again. This time around it’s so different though, 2 months in and I’m feeling the best I have in a very long time!!!