Staying Stopped - Alcohol Free, permanently.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a kind and supportive environment for anyone committing to an alcohol free life.

From Day 1 onwards, you are welcome here for support, encouragement, tips and chat. There are many of us, at different points on the journey some have been sober for years, months, or weeks, others are just starting out, but all are
committed to an alcohol free life and the freedoms it brings...

Freedom from the tyranny of booze and the effort of figuring out how much to drink, and how and when to procure and drink it.

Freedom from guilt, self loathing, and 3am wake ups, and the fear of what might have been said and done the night before.

Freedom from the pervasive sense of dread and shame.

Freedom to embrace life with energy, and to face challenges with an uncluttered head, a lighter heart, and a lighter recycling bin.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to hang out and ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

I check in here every day as part of my recovery. It has kept me accountable, and the wonderful posters who contribute have helped me more than they could possibly know. This is day 137, and I'll be here for a long time!

Yay!! Thanks, @drybird2020, lovely intro. I’m happily AF and very grateful to you and this thread.

Thank you for the new thread @Drybird2020.

Checking in for lots of support, friendly chat and absolutely no judgement.

Thank you @Drybird2020 for your as-ever wise words and hello to everyone else joining the thread. I’m always grateful for everyone’s input and experiences. Living and enjoying life without alcohol is of the most profound things I’ve done in my life and it’s been made much easier having a place to go to check in.

Thanks for the lovely new thread @drybird.

It's part on my daily routine to check in here too.

Another late night at work. Started at 9am, got home at 10:40pm and I'm on duty all weekend too. Had a fleeting "could murder a drink" whilst driving home but it was a fleeting moment and now I'm home I'm shattered and ready for bed.

Thank you for the new thread @Drybird2020.

@greenteamug that made me laugh.

I had a dowN day yesterday. I feel really tearful. Unbelievably upset at the people who will get left behind as and when lockdown eases. I contacted a few friends who are shielding or on their own with small children- I was right, they feel wretched and forgotten. I met a couple online for nidra. I’m determined to be there, because I’m worried that those marginalised folk who had managed to make a life for themselves despite mental illness, or near impossible circumstances- will get left behind.

Anyway, I went to the shop - my kids keep asking for chocolate. I don’t see them - just drop it off. It’s rubbish. I thought I’d stock up so I’d have a supply...you can guess the rest. Feel shit now.

Sorry I should explain- I do sometimes see my daughter but she doesn’t stop to chat. My son FaceTimes me every day. Usually twice a day but gets annoyed when I have to go because dp is attempting something daredevil like!

Hey all!
Thanks for the new thread @Drybird2020 and the lovely intro.
@myhandsareverycold well done for being sensible after a hard day.
@StillDumDeDumming you must miss the children so much. It’s such a tough time☹️

I am on day 34, I just keep plodding on! MUST try and start running again (I didn’t go at all last week), it does help so much.

Morning all. @StillDumDeDumming DH is shielding (so we all are to a degree) but had a checkup at the hospital this week and consultant was okay for him going for walks. I hope there's a more nuanced approach to the shielding group in the coming weeks instead of this blanket stay indoors until there's a vaccine message.

I'm also in the want to start running again. I need to push myself a bit when It comes to taking action. If stopping drinking was phase 1 of the new me then committing to regular exercise is phase 2. My boss is taking a 6 month secondment in a couple of week so I am going to cover for her and find myself getting stressed about it already and really need a healthy outlet for letting that stress go. It used to be drink but that's not even a consideration for me thankfully.

@Drybird2020 thank you for the new thread. Having this has really helped me so much to keep on track.
Hope you all have a lovely day - off for a run in a hour.

Thank you for the new thread!

off to work in half an hour or so. No-one is in the office so I can use the photocopier and scanner and do a few things I can't do at home. Then hopefully a relaxing day and maybe a short trip to our local forest to go for a walk. We have not yet really been anywhere even with the slight easing of restrictions.

Ulysses good luck with taking over for 6 months- i bet you will be brilliant. :)

Oh it's the little things. I have just spent a happy hour watering my pot plants. With a cup of mint tea made from crushed mint from my garden, lemon and alittle sugar.

happy days.

Great opening post. I’m on Day 7 AF today.

Day 19, 73 dats this year.

Bored tonight though. My OH has been drinking beer in the garden and I felt envious.

It is getting easier though.

Been on duty all day and not had a single call which is really unusual. I started crocheting a blanket tonight. I'm not a very good hooker but I persevered and I think I know what I'm doing now. Little wins. I wouldn't have been able to work it out if I'd been drinking.

Half way through the weekend girls. We can do this.

Thanks for the new thread drybird

I've been here since your first thread and don't tend to post often though like others I check in every day as part of my daily routine. I love it when new people join us. A friend texted me the other day and said she's worried about her alcohol consumption at the moment and it got me thinking what mine would have been like had I not been AF. The answer is off the scale. TF we gave up booze girls 👏🏻

I reread Claire Pooley's book this week which gives me a boost and I'm feeling good physically and mentally and as an added bonus am losing weight very slowly but it feels like I'm going back to my natural weight rather that a puffed up alcohol soaked version of myself.

I love reading your little daily triumphs. Keep it up everyone x

@DryHeave, hello and congratulations on getting the first tough week under your belt.

@StillDumDeDumming I get what you're saying. The huge sadness of this situation is just too much. Staying in the moment as much as possible is important for sanity, I find. But I often feel very guilty that I'm not having a shit time when so many people are.

I am very glad these threads are still going strong and proving helpful for so many of us. I love reading about everyone's triumphs; home made herbal tea, happy plants, running... and because of you lot I'm about to start week 4 of Couch25k!

Morning all.

:)

I have started slimming world also as now I am not drinking 5000 extra calories a week (rough guide) I SHOULD lose weight.

I am reading Lotta Dann's 'Mrs D is goung without'.

I opened up one of my boxes where I put summer clothes away and disvered a stashed empty bottle of prosecco

I am about to for a long dog walk in the forest.

Life is okay I guess.

This thread is definitely a lovely little part of my day. :) Thanks. R

Felt quite flat and bored today but as my. OH has banned me from drinking for ever I've not been tempted.

I wish the decision was still in my hands and I could say "I won't" rather than "I can't"

My OH bought me a wine tour/tasting as a gift a few months ago for us to do together. . We had a chat about it last night and he won't trust me to go. Makes me mad, he bought it for me as a gift (and it was £200) and now he's set the new rules I can't do. Why did he buy it for me if he is so convinced I've got a problem? He says he thinks I've had a problem for several years. Makes no sense.

Feeling fucked off.

How's everyone else?

On the plus side the weight is falling off me. Day 20 and I've lost 5lbs and I've not got huge amount to loose.

@myhandsareverycold, I mean this kindly, but you aren't in the right frame of mind to stay sober if you are not doing it 100% for yourself. You will continually feel resentful, when, in fact, becoming sober for your own reasons is something quite liberating and satisfying.

You must take control, and stop drinking on your terms. You are worth it. Do not let anyone else dictate a decision that is entirely yours.

Hopefully, others will be along with advice too.

@EIsaCragg
I agree. I did dry January then extended it until the end of February because I was enjoying it. The difference was if I wanted to have a drink in the future I could. It was my choice. I was resetting my habits and had set a goal for 200 dry days a year moving forward.

My OH has now said I change and become odd, vindictive, abusive, selfish, annoying and hurtful when I have even ONE glass of wine and he will not tolerate me drinking ever again. (I don't agree with this). He's told his family and my kids I have a problem which I dispute. I'm so embarrassed that he's been talking about me when I didn't know.

I've stuck to it because I can but I'm mighty fucked off because all my future choices have been removed. I'll do it because I've been asked to but January and February were easy. This is hard, especially as I've been questioning if I'm all those things deep down and after one glass they all come out. Started questioning who I even am and feeling very low.

OH continues to drink.

@myhandsareverycold, I found that when I stopped drinking, I had to do quite a bit of soul searching. Coming to terms with why I did drink, bringing up lots of emotions that I had bottled up for years, around self esteem and self worth.

I believe that is part of the sober journey. Whenever I tried to cut down or stop drinking previously, my attempts were unsuccessful because I never really changed my mindset.

What also helped for me was realising that I wasn't giving anything up. I was making positive choices to benefit my physical and mental health. Once you can make that shift, then you are not depriving yourself of anything.

My DH still drinks, but it doesn't bother me, because alcohol does not occupy my thoughts at all these days.

Hi there, I’d love to join you, I woke up with a killer hangover this morning for the second time in 3 days , this time it’s really hit me that I have to stop for good. I blacked out last night, I woke up fully dressed and had no memory how I got there.😥
I just cannot moderate, it’s all or nothing and all isn’t an option.
I’ve been thinking and planning to stop for a while and now this is it.
I know I can do a week and I feel great but I also know that’s when it gets harder and when I will most need your support and solidarity

Hello! Hope I can join you. I'm 16 days into my new sober life. Alcohol is horrendous for my mental health so after ending up suicidal and planning I decided to have a break. Did 2 weeks af but then I did have a drink on Friday, just to see. Basically the thought of an af life scared me. I was relieved that I didn't enjoy it and the anxiety came flooding back. I'm committed to af for the foreseeable future. I am feeling horrendously tired though. Is this usual?

@WineNoMore20 welcome to the thread - this is the right place for support and solidarity. We've all been where you are, so we know what your going through.
Well, I'm actually off to work in the morning - one client wants me back and another next week, hopefully the others will want me back soon too ( I'm a cleaner)
Have been getting really annoyed seeing stuff about alcohol everywhere - I know it's always been there, but I guess I've never noticed it. Everyone is drinking, lots, all the time. I posted a picture of a non alcoholic drink - just as they post ones of their wine/ beer etc- got the piss ripped out of me because it wasn't wine. Honestly - what's wrong with people.
Anyway. Hope you've all had a lovely weekend.

@Bizzywater I can relate so much, alcohol makes my anxiety go from bad to severe

Tomorrow will be my day 1 I've decided once and for all. It does me no favours, I get that very temporary feeling of relaxation that is followed by a 3am wake up call for water, then lying wide awake for an hour worrying about everyone and everything, then the following day is spent worrying, being short tempered, taking panic attacks etc etc

I am currently on a mission to lose weight and am fighting a losing battle as my alcohol consumption is adding so many calories I may as well just be sat eating a kfc every evening. I want to actually see my hard work from dieting/exercise pay off not sit in the evening feeling like it was all a waste because I'm drinking every calorie back again!

I completed dry January and felt amazing! So I can do it I know I can.

Will be checking in every day.