Staying Stopped - Alcohol Free, permanently.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a kind and supportive environment for anyone committing to an alcohol free life.

From Day 1 onwards, you are welcome here for support, encouragement, tips and chat. There are many of us, at different points on the journey some have been sober for years, months, or weeks, others are just starting out, but all are
committed to an alcohol free life and the freedoms it brings...

Freedom from the tyranny of booze and the effort of figuring out how much to drink, and how and when to procure and drink it.

Freedom from guilt, self loathing, and 3am wake ups, and the fear of what might have been said and done the night before.

Freedom from the pervasive sense of dread and shame.

Freedom to embrace life with energy, and to face challenges with an uncluttered head, a lighter heart, and a lighter recycling bin.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to hang out and ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

I check in here every day as part of my recovery. It has kept me accountable, and the wonderful posters who contribute have helped me more than they could possibly know. This is day 137, and I'll be here for a long time!

60 days @BunniesBunniesBunnies that's amazing. . You deserve to celebrate, well done. I'm trying to think how I'd feel within and about myself if I managed 60 days and I just can't even begin to picture it. X

@jlou0712 that's fantastic. No one ever wakes up and regrets not drinking last night! You smashed those cravings. Being proud of ourselves is literally the greatest feeling.
That's a good idea to avoid temptation. I might do similar, make sure I have everything I need for a satisfied weekend (so much food!) then stay away from the shops. Problem will be hubby offering me wine but actually he's not drunk much the past few days, which is unusual.
Have a great day everyone

Thank you @CalmTea, it is an amazing feeling. Just to know you can do it gives such confidence. Even if I did ever slip, I know I can do it now and how amazing it feels!

For me there is not a single negative thing about being sober, there is not one thing I enjoy less because I don’t drink anymore. And the longer I am sober the less I miss it or think about it.

Two months ago, the thought that I could get to 6pm after a reeeaaaally tough day and NOT have a drink was unthinkable. Now it’s just normal!

I do love an alcohol free beer😊

@BunniesBunniesBunnies 8weeks is amazing well done. 💖 Just trying to remind myself how much better i will feel, how much more money i will have, kids will be happier.

@CalmTea completly correct no one ever regrets not drinking but everone regrets drinking. Going to keep reminding myself of that. Thats good theres no temptation with hubby. Im opposite im on my own but its the boredom that gets me.

Im working for a bit today and have some stuff to do which will keep me busy 😕 not really been very far all week and my anxiety is up. Need to try not turn in a total recluse.. Never usually like this atall but think the way i am feeling plus a lockdown not helped. Happy thursday everyone. Heres to another AF day.

Congratulations on your 60 day soberversary @BunniesBunniesBunnies!

For me there is not a single negative thing about being sober, there is not one thing I enjoy less because I don’t drink anymore. And the longer I am sober the less I miss it or think about it.

That's it, in a nutshell. Well said.

Hello all, can I join? I have a little boy (10 months) and found myself getting to 1700 every day and absolutely GAGGING for a glass of wine or beer or something to help me relax.

Decided to knock it on the head - I know the concept of mummy’s “wine o’clock” and didn’t want to take the first step into a slippery slope.

I have not had any alcohol now for probably about 3 weeks. Sometimes get cravings in the evening but have been able to resist them so far.

I've been AF for several weeks now, since about the start of lockdown. In the early days it was great, I felt happier and more productive. Now I really miss drinking as a way to relax. I'm constantly stressed and anxious. I also have an eating disorder, and when I was drinking I could allow myself to eat better. My BMI is now around 17.5 and I don't feel able to address that right now as I struggle to stay sober.
I'm still working FT but don't have a lot of other responsibilities right now. Next week I'm on holiday and perhaps I will feel better then. I'm not going back to drinking - I've made my decision and that chapter of my life is closed. I just wish I could relax sometimes.

Thanks very much for sending your kind wishes my way when I was struggling yesterday everyone, it means a lot to me.

Tonight I have decided a paltry amount of time spent surfing warrents three pieces of apple pie and vegan ice cream after dinner. Feel fat but content.

Sorry iloveeverykindofcat I've just realised how insensitive my post sounds straight after yours!

Congratulations Bunnies and welcome all newbies. You’ve come to a good place where you can share your ups and downs.

LOL Hangingover don't worry about it. I can still laugh about myself!

@BunniesBunniesBunnies congrats on 60 days! That amazing. .Be proud!!

@Hangingover I hope you're feeling better today. I see no issue with the apple pie and vegan ice cream😂

@iloveeverykindofcat - well done on how far you've come! Try to remember how great you feel with out the drink, even though your stressed and anxious- it'd feel a lot worse with the drink, don't you think? I know it's not for everyone, but have you thought about meditation or yoga. Has really helped me. I have a quick temper sometimes, can be quick to rise to center things and can obbsess over stuff ( this is a lot less since giving up drinking) but these both help me a serious amount. Focuses my mind and chills me out. Maybe it could help you too?

@jess3817 thank you, you are quite right of course. I get that rebound anxiety once I sober up too.

Day 5 and I stupidly went and had half a glass of red wine this evening. So cross with myself. It tasted sharp and unpleasant, though DH was saying how delicious he thought it was. I regretted it and left half the glass when my tea was ready. As soon as I had food in me I lost interest in the wine and now have a brew but I'm cross I made the decision to have some. I knew I was tired, hungry and stressed. So veered straight toward my usual crap habit instead of getting what I needed. Gutted. Hope everyone else has had a good day and pleasant AF evening

Ah, don’t be too hard yourself, @CalmTea. I know I would have found the early days much, much harder if I had had someone with me who was enjoying a glass of wine right in front of me. The fact that you didn’t finish it and didn’t want to is good.

Thanks @SparklingLime. I'm kind of feeling ok In that it tasted of poison to me (even though a decent bottle) and it could have gone either way, I could easily have ditched eating tea and be sat on my doorstep, a bottle down, smoking fags and swaying by now. And I'm not. I'm in bed with teeth brushed etc. So, progress I reckon. Still wish I hadn't though.
Welcome to the new guys 👋

I’ll echo what @sparklingLime said - don’t beat yourself up, accept and move on :)
Wasn’t v helpful for you to have DH going on about it though! Onwards. You’ve got this. Day 3 for me. Met up outside with some girlfriends for an evening drink and catch up (socially distanced!!!) - they had beer / gin, I’d brought hot chocolate. It was lovely. Exhausted today. Think that’s just hormones, lockdown and life being a bit much!!!! Better without the alcohol tiredness though. Roll on the weekend.

Hey Ladies,

Im still fighting wine thoughts however havnt done anything about it. Thinking if i maybe got some AF stuff that might take the edge of it and rest my mind for a bit. Any thoughts on that.

@calmtea

U have done well to have half a glass and then forget it. Its def good you didnt take it any further

I have been reading books, blogs and dl apps today. I feel if i can make it through the weekend i might find things easier (hopefully not wishful thinking) i wud usually have a drink on one of the days over the weekend so this is the test

@Jlou0712 opinion in the quitosphere is divided on AF drinks, for example Jason Vale advises staying clear, but Clare Pooley is a fan. I was hooked on Becks Blue to start with and knocked them back like they contained real booze, but I haven't had one for months now and I don't miss it. So for me it was a useful parachute.

I've had another long day - glad it's at an end. Sorry to hear about struggles for some. Hang in there, it will all be worth it.

Bad luck CalmTea.

Isn't this part interesting thought As soon as I had food in me I lost interest in the wine

I got this too; so in a glutton in all senses I drink booze fast, smoke fast and eat fast...I have that yummy yummy yummy more more more more thing (binging, I suppose) that Stephen Fry described so well in his 7 Deadly Sins podcast. I've also noticed that once I'm horsing into a meal I too "lose interest" in the wine (that's exactly the right phrase) and I can be almost all the way through my food and realise I've still got a full glass.

Can we use this to out advantage in some way, CalmTea ?

Perhaps a glass of something sharp and fizzy and a small snack while cooking/waiting for DH to cook to take the edge off? I find that 5pm - 7pm window that hardest personally, once I'm past that it's much easier. I used to knock back red wine while cooking like it was evian

Morning. It is the 5-7 pm window for me too.

Anyway, i have been off the thread because I slipped. Not even sure why other than it seemed like a good idea at the time. FFS.

It's been shit. I have hated how I feel and how I have slept and how - well everything.

I hope I can come back.

I am re-comitting myself. i have been trying to get a handle on my drinking for certainly 20 years and defnitely in the past 7 since DS2 was born.

I'm on club soda fb page, for the poster who mentioned that. I do not post very often but i love lurking and seeing other people there and hearing their stories.

Hi GreenTeaMug

I hope I can come back

Of course you can! Can you describe the slip up in more detail? What time of day was it and what sort of drink? Is there a small trigger there that you might not have recognized at the time?

5-7pm is the time for me too however I think sometimes I mentally make the decision earlier in the day and then allow myself to end up in a position where drinking is inevitable. Such as I'll suggest to DH that we feed the kids one thing and get a takeaway later. Which takes forever to order and come (if we don't just forget about it) and plenty time to drink on an empty stomach and decide that smoking is actually a good thing.
DH always likes to delay eating and drink plenty before. This makes me really tetchy when I'm trying not to drink and I want us to eat at the same time as the kids, knowing that will end my want for wine. Having been together a long time and always with alcohol as an ongoing issue in one form or another, I feel we just fall into a repetitive play, each with scripted parts and I'm desperate not to play mine anymore so I can get out of the cycle. Does anyone else have a similar relationship with their partner?

@Hangingover I do think it's something to use as an advantage, binging on healthy things instead, exercise etc and good food. Unfortunately the easiest things to binge on seem to be those that give the most immediate hit. We'll get there!

@GreenTeaMug sorry you have had a rough few days. Great you are back, Ive really enjoyed reading your posts. Be gentle on yourself and plenty of green tea!

@Piglet89 welcome and great work on 3 weeks. The baby days are really tough and I remember feeling just like you at 5pm! Definitely best to knock it on the head now if you can.

Thanks @CalmTea it’s really useful to hear other people’s stories, which definitely reaffirm my decision!

I am currently reading Prof David Knut’s “Drink” about the science of what alcohol does to our bodies, which I am finding really interesting and it’s helping a bit with my resolve.

Good luck @Jlou0712

@iloveeverykindofcat hey:-) I can relate to your problems with food and your BMI to some extent. My relationship with food has been much healthier over the last few years, but now that I’ve quit drinking (and smoking! 3 days in, yay!) I find myself returning to really restricting my food intake. I guess it’s a coping mechanism for me, just like drinking and smoking were.

Part of my journey is to learn healthier coping mechanisms, and that I find the hardest bit. Not quitting drinking or smoking, buT changing my mindset.

Good luck to you!