Staying Stopped - Alcohol Free, permanently.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a kind and supportive environment for anyone committing to an alcohol free life.

From Day 1 onwards, you are welcome here for support, encouragement, tips and chat. There are many of us, at different points on the journey some have been sober for years, months, or weeks, others are just starting out, but all are
committed to an alcohol free life and the freedoms it brings...

Freedom from the tyranny of booze and the effort of figuring out how much to drink, and how and when to procure and drink it.

Freedom from guilt, self loathing, and 3am wake ups, and the fear of what might have been said and done the night before.

Freedom from the pervasive sense of dread and shame.

Freedom to embrace life with energy, and to face challenges with an uncluttered head, a lighter heart, and a lighter recycling bin.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to hang out and ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

I check in here every day as part of my recovery. It has kept me accountable, and the wonderful posters who contribute have helped me more than they could possibly know. This is day 137, and I'll be here for a long time!

Hi, I'd really like to join you. I've been reading the thread and you all seem lovely. I've had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol since my teens really, a problem which comes and goes in its intensity. I'm now in my early 40s. I probably have a couple of horrendous hangovers a week where I can't function. I know I need to give up completely and would be much happier. Any attends to moderate always end up the same. I'm determined that today is the start of a new alcohol free lifestyle. It will be hard as my husband is a problematic drinker (drinks very much more than me) , is the support won't be there. I have lovely young children and want to be my best for them but just feel stuck in a trap. I'm desperate for change, I've been monitoring my units for years, journaling how I feel, nothing ever sticks. I've made some very bad decisions when drunk that fill me with shame and I just really wish for peace and happiness without jumping at the wine every few days. I'm worried about my productivity at work, my health, the impact on my children and role modelling. I've read all the quit. Lit which is good but again Nothing sticks. Thanks x

Hi all and welcome @CalmTea! I’m sure your story (of trying to stop many times) will be familiar to many of us. It definitely is to me! Good luck to you and I hope you find this thread helpful.

I am 8 weeks sober today and I feel good!!! So proud of myself.

Things I know longer do or have:

• Hangovers
• Fear/shame related to hangovers
• Thinking about when to start drinking
• Really bad breakouts on my skin
• Crying for no reason several times a day
• Bad anxiety
• Arguments with my husband about my drinking

Things I now do have:

• Loads more patience with the kids
• Feeling calm (well not all of the time, I do have 3 kids haha! But much calmer than before)
• Lost a stone in weight😱
• Have clear skin!
• Greatly improved self confidence after thinking for so long I could never quit... Well, I only fucking went and did it!!!

Gold star for me ⭐️ 😂😂😂

Wow @BunniesBunniesBunnies , 8 weeks is amazing and I'm inspired by your lists, well done! . I hope I can be saying the same in 8 weeks. I'm feeling motivated and love all you guy's success stories and to hear that just the everyday is so much more pleasant without the poison, thank you x

Well done @BunniesBunniesBunnies that’s awesome

It’s interesting you mention self confidence...for so long I thought alcohol helped give me confidence, helped me unwind after a stressful day....it’s only after stopping drinking I realise how much calmer and therefore confident I am in high pressured work situations. Probably because I’m not hungover with hangxiety. It’s really bloody nice!

Nice one on the jogging @Cab121009! I’m slowly getting back into it...

Please can I join? I’ve been AF for 8 weeks today. My tipping point was when I finally acknowledged the weight gain on my tummy. I am already feeling much better now that I’ve lost a few pounds. I also feel better mentally. I hardly snap at anything these days. I found I was getting very irritable after drinking. My anxiety has also reduced massively. The downside is I am getting a lot of persistent headaches which is starting to get me down a bit. I guess that could be to do with sugar?

Hi all and welcome Calm Tea and all the other newbies. Congratulations on 8 weeks AF and what a great post Bunnies It is very uplifting to hear others positive experience of sobriety. Calm Tea a lot of your post resonates with me. Quite a few of us have a spell of recognizing we have a problem, trying to moderate and then realising we just need to stop for good. I’m on day 7 AF today. It’s not been easy, Friday & Saturday night cravings especially have been torture, but every time we resist we are one day closer to a sober life for good. I have been trying to stay busy and be kind to myself. I’ve started yoga on the telly and lots of hot baths and a fair bit of cake. AF drinks too. I got the Nosecco and of course it doesn’t really taste like Prosecco, but it involves popping a cork and using nice glasses on a Saturday night so I just pretended best I could. Let’s all stay together day by day and we can do this! What kind of weekend has everyone else had? Please come on and share even if it’s short of exemplary- we’ve all been there.

Great to see more newcomers, welcome.

Great achievement @BunniesBunniesBunnies, eight weeks is awesome!

One of the best benefits, I have found, is that being sober means being in control. I now have order and calm in my life.

@EIsaCragg - I'm with you on the order and calm. Well as much as there can be with 4 kids 😂
@Drybird2020 it really does help me. I started taking a B vitamin at the begining on your recommendation so thank you.

@iamyourequal - have had a lovely weekend thank you for asking, I did a 5k time trail ( had a goal off getting my 5k time down) and in 6 weeks I've knocked off 3 minutes. So pleased! I could try this before when I was drinking every days as couldn't do the training sessions properly due to just not being able to breathe propely, carrying extra weight, being bloated and genrally feeling like crap. Now I can. Horray for being sober! I haven tried nosseco or anything AF stuff as feel it'd make me want the real stuff -itd be nice to try it though. I enjoy and cup of tea or ginger beer for a sugar rush though. Well done for getting through the weekend! Stick with the yoga - I use to quickly stick on a session when I got a craving and it'd take my mind off it.

Hope everyone is feeling strong and sober and ready for the up coming week.

Welcome to the new joiners, and well done to those reaching milestones.

@iamyourequal well done getting the first week under your belt, I'm so glad you took the plunge and that you are finding it manageable. I do remember weekend evenings being tricky to begin with but can honestly say I don't notice them now other than with gladness.

@jess3817 I am at risk of being a bore about the vitamins but I just didn't get my shit together about taking them early on and wish I had! So now I tell everybody 😊

I have been battling a migraine all weekend but am optimistically planning to get up early and run - week 7 of C25K! That would have been beyond my comprehension six months ago.

@iamyourequal well done on a full week. I've not managed that since October when I last seriously attempted to sort myself out. I have seen posts by you on another thread (I think) earlier in the year, which I could really identify with. This is the first time I've posted about my issues and I'm already finding it useful to be part of this group. Day 2 here, I'm going to go buy some nice AF drinks, and do a couple of things to make life a little easier such as meal planing. One of my worst triggers is if I'm hungry at tea time after working all day and we don't know what we are going to eat. If there is wine I'll just have that instead of food, which I drink super fast due to hunger, then the night is a write off. Days 3 and 4 are always danger zones for me. I get giddy, feel healthy again, forget how bad my last hangover was, convince myself that thinking I had a problem was just hangxiety and do it all over again. Determined not to this time. A few people have mentioned sleeplessness. I find valarian tablets (herbal) and bedtime teas really good for sleep and a cold water bottle is good to calm restless legs too. Have a great day everyone. X

Happy Monday all! Here’s to a calm and good AF week for everyone. I had a good weekend thanks @iamyourequal, long walk, a run, fresh mornings and reading. But I was gutted this morning to find I’d put on two pounds...I’m overweight and losing some is one of my main motivations. I’m on day 9 so wasn’t expecting miracles but thought I might have lost a pound or two rather than gaining it!

I have socially distanced outdoor drinks with friends on Friday and thought I might take Nosecco @jess3817

I didn’t lose weight early on, @Cyllie33, and got frustrated. I’m months in now, also low-carbing, and have lost 2 stone. I feel like going AF was essential for weight loss but for me it didn’t have an immediate effect. If that makes sense.

I think this thread is really going to help me. Woke up feeling slightly better and much more positive today. Called docs and got my anti depresaants up'd. Wasnt usual mental health nurse just a doctor that sounded unintrested and asked no questions. But i figure if i get my tablets up'd and have support on here to stay off the wine. I actually think i really will manage. I have also contacted my friends who i have been avoiding recently and told them whats been going on and that i am now going to have to stop drinking due to the effect on my MH. Some really supportive, some think i wont do it (as iv said so many times before) i have the potential to have a great life but i dont see it like that at times. So now its positivity over negativity. Kids do growth mindset at school. I am off to do a growth mindset poster of my own. Happy monday ladies. We really are only a step away from happiness if we can stop boozing. Some folk can hack it and be fine and like us its just no for us just a shame its takes such a grip. Its not all its cracked up 2 b!

Thanks everyone for wishing me well on 1 week AF. I’m pleased you had a good weekend Jess, Cyllie. I hope your migraine has lifted Drybird. Meal planning is a great idea Calm I definitely feel calmer and more positive the weeks I have meals planned out ahead - just try and avoid wine-essential meals until you feel stronger. It was really tough watching DH enjoy a red wine with our steak in Saturday night! Hat off to you Cab I haven’t told anyone but DH I’ve stopped drinking, that’s a brave positive step. Anyway I’d love to stay on for a blether but I’m meant to be working from home today so had better scoot back to my laptop. Let’s all have a great week, even just of little mini improvements we can each be proud of.

Forgot to say, that is one amazing weight loss Sparkling! I hope I get anywhere near that!

Thanks, @iamyourequal. Another 2.5 stone to go 😬
Hope your migraine has fully cleared, @Drybird2020 🤞🏽
If I feel I need to explain being AF, I just say that I did Dry January and I’m still going. 😊

Morning everyone, hope your weekends were good.
I'm happy to say I didn't think about drinking all weekend and I'm feeling much happier in myself.
My relationship with my husband is so much better as I'm more affectionate now that I'm not trying to avoid him in case he smells the alcohol on me!
I'm smoking a lot more which is another obstacle I'm going to get over. I only started back in September after being off them for 20 years!! 😡
We went on a family holiday in September which really threw me mentally and physically. There was cheap booze everywhere and to my shame, that's when I went back sneaky drinking and bought a cheap packet of cigs. It was all downhill from there.
But, I'm taking one step at a time. Alcohol is first. Today is my day 6!

I hope everyone has had a positive start to the week. Its great to hear how people are getting on.

@Cab121009 I read somewhere recently that a lot of doctors think you shouldn't even try to treat depression if you are still drinking. I am not suggesting that you shouldn't take your prescription, but it's an interesting perspective that I had not come across before. I wonder if you might see an improvement in your mental health as you settle into sobriety. Mine is definitely better, although I have not been diagnosed with depression so it's a different situation to yours. Talking to friends is a brave and positive step, I need to do more of that.

@Drybird2020

When i first started tablets was minimal dose and more for anxiety than depression. Since then i have started drinking heavier but know myself i havnt drank and taking tablets i am in a good place. So yeah prob taking tablets and drinking not been the best. I would usually speak to MH nurse who are all really good, but theres was no one in, as i said doc was completely un intrested and asked no questions. But i feel i know myself and mental health well and know what i can do to make it better. 😊

Good morning all. Day 3 for me, which is where I usually fail come 6pm. Things are pretty stressful in life too at the moment which doesn't help. Any positive vibes appreciated! Hubby will be offering me wine at tea time but I'm determined I'll go to bed early and as fresh as I've woken up. Hope everyone has a good day xx

@calmtea you did it yesterday, you can do it today 😊. Can't be easy with the lack of support form your H. I find that eating early helps, I don't want to drink if I am full. Then a long bath with my kindle and an early night. That was a good routine for the first tricky phase.

Morning! I had a bad nights sleep with vivid stress dreams...but imagining how much worse I’d feel with a hangover...day 11 today for me...

Bottle that feeling you have this morning @CalmTea and uncork a bit this evening. I also find eating helps - can you have your dinner at 6pm tonight or take a shower and wash your hair before dinner instead?

@SparklingLime - that’s encouraging to hear re: weight loss - I have about the same to lose as you so hope I can follow a similar journey!

Hi. Its Cab.. Changed username tho 😊

Can anyone please recommend any help books about alcohol or the likes that they have found useful in there journey.. Thanks

Hubby will be offering me wine at tea time

I'd speak to him about this. When I first told DP he was a bit minimizing but I quickly said to him, "look, even if you don't feel this is as serious as I do, it's really really important to me so I need you to take it seriously for me to help me be happy". And he agreed and has been really helpful since. And he's only gone and given up with me!

@Jlou0712 I’m listening to the audio book of Catherine Grey’s The unexpected joy of being sober, and highly recommend. It’s really helping me feel positive about being AF rather than just feel like something I should be doing.