Staying Stopped - Alcohol Free, permanently.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a kind and supportive environment for anyone committing to an alcohol free life.

From Day 1 onwards, you are welcome here for support, encouragement, tips and chat. There are many of us, at different points on the journey some have been sober for years, months, or weeks, others are just starting out, but all are
committed to an alcohol free life and the freedoms it brings...

Freedom from the tyranny of booze and the effort of figuring out how much to drink, and how and when to procure and drink it.

Freedom from guilt, self loathing, and 3am wake ups, and the fear of what might have been said and done the night before.

Freedom from the pervasive sense of dread and shame.

Freedom to embrace life with energy, and to face challenges with an uncluttered head, a lighter heart, and a lighter recycling bin.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to hang out and ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

I check in here every day as part of my recovery. It has kept me accountable, and the wonderful posters who contribute have helped me more than they could possibly know. This is day 137, and I'll be here for a long time!

Morning all, hope everyone is enjoying a sober weekend.

@Holyjebus, well done for walking on by. It can be so tempting, especially in the early days, to tell yourself that one drink won't matter. But none of us are here because we are good at moderating

If anyone asks these days, I just tell people that I'm not drinking at the moment, @Hangingover, it works for me. Those who are curious as to why might be wanting to cut back themselves. And those who try to discourage you may have a problem themselves and want a drinking buddy or try to normalise their own drinking. I know I used to justify my drinking by comparing myself to those who drank more than me, so that I didn't feel too bad. I was in total denial.

Thanks for the tips everyone. Just dropping in...had my first proper temptation just now. Neighbor asked us to come to the beach for a beer at sunset (standard round here). I didn't want to at all as I felt I'd be missing out but DP said it was good to go. We took a 0% down each at it was actually fine (although I did smoke two cigarettes). Funnily the guy that invited us (who I do t know super well) I had in my head as a super sensible health nut but he admitted that though he usually won't drink weekdays, he'd been drinking every night during lockdown and said he'd got pretty drunk at a BBQ earlier in the week. Was super interesting to hear how lockdown has affected even moderate drinkers and that our first impressions of people's drinking arent always right.

Everyone standing around the BBQs was drinking but I saw a man with a glass of red which instantly made me want to down a whole bottle and I knew I had to stand firm.

Hi so glad i have found this. I have just admitted to family that i have a drinking problem. Problem being once i start i cant stop then blackout and am ill for days. Have just had a disastorous evening which ended up in an argument, police being called and me worrying what else could possible go wrong. I am not an idiot however i sure can act it with a drink. There is a history of drinking in my family so i should have knew better but have got myself in so many predicaments i am actually so angry i have never stopped before. I have 2 beautiful children that deserve much more than me and a supportive family. Previous attempts at stopping have failed but now I HAVE to rather than WANT 2. I am currently feeling slightly calmer after my anxiety being through the roof, havnt ate for over 24hrs. Drink is everywhere and so accessible which will make it so hard but i cant keep going on like this.

@cab121009 well done for acknowledging that alcohol is a problem for you and telling your family. It isn't easy. With each day you will start to feel better. I found writing a list of everything that had gone wrong with my life as a result of drinking helped to strengthen my resolve not to drink in the early days. Whenever I thought about a drink I would look at my list.

And try and eat something, even if only toast or banana or something.... Haywire blood sugar won't help anxiety. Take care and keep posting x

Thanks so much for reply the list will be long but maybe seeing it on paper will help. I really cannot touch another drink again. Actually feel like i dont want to be here right now. (i would never do something stupid as my kids keep me going) just wondering why i cant just be normal instead of a fuck up... Well think i no the answer to that one and its drink!

I feel sick to the stomach just drinking tea but will try something soon thanks x

Hey @Cab121009 I could have wrote your post myself I am the exact same there is no stop button with me either. What's done is done, try not be too hard on yourself.

You can do this, sending love to you sometimes a Lucozade sport is a good start if you can't manage food been there many a time.

@Stayfreshcheesebags that's a great idea re list I am going to do that tonight. And makeup sure no one ever finds the list omg!!

Please can I join you? I stopped drinking "forever" at the end of January and I was feeling so good! Then, last week I went back to work in very stressful circumstances and I fell off the wagon in dramatic fashion. Back to reaching for a glass of wine as soon as I walk through the door. I am so disappointed in myself.
Time to start again - Day 1 of a new forever.

@slantedbutenchanted thank you feels so good to know im not the only one. Actually going to have to message my kids dad to let him. Know whats been going on... But once its out there thats it nothing worse than a secret and having 2 hide. Oh my god if i write a list need to go under lock and key iv been drinking since i was a teenager shud have stopped after that first night 😔 x

@slantedbutenchanted yes keep it somewhere safe ! Mine makes for awful reading

@PoolsOfJoy it's a horrible feeling isn't it ? I totally get where you are coming from. If someone had asked me at the start of the year whether I'd been drinking again it would have been a resounding no. I well off the wagon quite spectacularly shortly after.

Use this opportunity to learn what led up to it and what you could do differently next time. I think relapse is part and parcel of getting to full, long-term abstinence. Focus on how long you went without a drink and not how long your relapse was.

*fell off the wagon that should have said

Hi all,
Day 4 for me today. For some reason, I can never make it past 2 months. The first few weeks are always great and I’m full of positivity.
I really hope this time is different.
I know I can’t do moderation and drinking actually makes my depression / anxiety worse.
Starting Monday, I am getting back into my running and I’m going to get myself back to good health and happiness.
Welcome @slantedbutenchanted and @PoolsOfJoy we’re all starting at the beginning again and I hope you find this forum as helpful as I do.
It’s been a great lifeline to have 🥰

Morning all,

Just checking in to wish everyone a relaxed and alcohol free Sunday.

I woke up ruminating about past mistakes but need to remember that they can't be changed now.

39 days alcohol free today.

Welcome @Cab121009 and @PoolsOfJoy.

@Holyjebus I've caught the running bug thanks to keen runners on this thread! Never thought it possible.

Have a peaceful, sober Sunday, everyone.

Morning AF pals. It's 4pm here and Ive done absolutely nothing except go to the shop for bread. Feel absolutely terrible, aching, tired, dizzy heart palpations. Listening to Marian Keyes in bed. Trying not to beat myself up for a wasted day as at least I'm AF and resting. Being stuck abroad with no job does has the benefit of not having anything I feel like I should be doing!! Have a peaceful Sunday everyone x

Well done on your 40 days tomorrow Stayfreshcheesebags what an achievement!

Really dont beat yourself up, @Hangingover! A day of rest will do you good. Are you taking any Vitamin supplements? I read about B vitamins, plus someone on here recommended some but it took me ages to get around to buying some and I wish I had taken them sooner, they helped with the fatigue.

Ah thanks drybird. I'm vegan actually so am usually all over the B vitamins like a loon. Having said that I've replaced at least one of my daily meals with ice cream over the past week so maybe a multi Vitamin would be a good idea!

Hi everyone

Cant' t remember who it was that suggested ginger cordial with ginger beer, but, thank you! My new favourite drink. Nice and spicy! :-)
Running really does help - if you don't run, a walk, even just a mile round the block or where ever will make you feel better - just to breath and clear your head.
@Hangingover - I'm vegan too, I've been taking a magnesium tablet too, it's meant to help with tiredness and restless legs, wich I was suffering quite badly with- in fact I had to buy a magnesium spray for my legs, initially it stung like mad when I put it on and now it doesn't - maybe try it too?

Good idea Jess, good tip! I eat tofu/avo/seeds nearly every day so think I'll probably be grand overall but will take the rest of my multivitamins this week to cover all bases though 👍🏻

@Stayfreshcheesebags i also need to think this way. Past is past get over it and do something about the future easier said than done eh. Strufgling with mood today but i will get up and on with it 3day no alcohol. Thats general normally usually only drink once a week but when i drink i drink. Will be a killer coming up to the end of week. But i will do it. Taken on board everyones tips about vitamins as i want to feel my best. So envious of all yous runners. I tried jogging last week 3 nights, not far so unfit but felt good after it. Think i need to give that a go once am feeling a bit more like myself. Happy sunday ladies!

Many alcoholics are deficient in Thiamine and a medical detox would include a prescription for that and other B vitamins, which I why I prescribed them to myself. Coincidentally I also take a magnesium supplement to help prevent migraines so I'm pleased to learn about the additional benefits, thanks @jess3817!