Day 4 of giving up alcohol

[Saltypotato]

Hi all,

I am on another thread that started in Jan and is still running. We all started together and the support was immense, it was the only thing that got me through the first month. At the end of Jan/beginning of Feb I started having 'just the one' and we all know how that goes if you have a problem. The group are now at 100 days and whilst I love checking in they aren't at the starting stage I am at the moment.

Lockdown has meant I am out of routine and haven't had a reason to keep my drinking under control (no work, not driving etc) so after drinking every night since it began I ended up passing my last full bottle of booze to a friend a few days ago and making an attempt to give up.

That was a few days ago, I am just starting my day 4. It's been easier than I thought as there isnt the option of just popping out to the shop so I'm not taunting myself. I have got a bottle of vodka and one of gin in my amazon cart that I keep hovering over buying but its on a few days lead time so I don't want it to arrive when I'm a week in and undo my hard work. That thought is stopping me.

But we have to go out today for essentials and tonight I have a zoom call with friends in the "pub". I am really tempted to get something whilst I'm out and my brain is doing the 'oh you deserve it, its a stressful time' and 'you can just have two to join in' (from experience, I can't)

If anyone else is feeling similar or just started their journey into the wonderful world of tonic water please join me. Strength in numbers, right?

Personally, I think we need to stop seeing wine or drinks as a treat, and something we miss and actually see it as the drug and poison that it is.
So we don't feel deprived and that we're missing out, rather, drinkers are the ones missing out. Does that make sense? It's something I'm trying to work on anyway

Yep. This is Allen Carr’s way. And it’s absolutely what made me sail through the first few days. That mentally has waned a bit but you’ve just reminded me, so thank you.
I’ve had the headache from hell tonight, a bit nauseas too. I’m wondering if it was a migraine. I’m not a headachey person generally but it did make me think that I really need to look after my body. And piling alcohol (poison) into it is not the way to go about it.

I agree why is alcohol in tv adverts seen as a treat, pick me up, Christmas is dreadful for it. I thank god everyday I’m not drinking now, still one day at a time for me. Hugs everyone.

Evening @Rupertpenrysmistress a week! Woohoo!
And welcome @queenjaneappro

Ghost if you like sciencey you might like William Porter's Alcohol Explained. I thought it was very interesting. I've got quite a long wish list of books from ideas on this thread

Welcome back Avoiding , and welcome queenjane

@Holothane you have adverts for alcohol on telly in the UK? That was outlawed decades ago in the US.

@SophieB100...I’ve been thinking about what you said about quit lit being a trigger and I know exactly what you mean by this. Even yesterday when I recounted by ‘cooking with wine’ experiences, I felt a bit of a pang which took me by surprise. And I’ve had those same pangs when reading other people’s stories (not on here- online stories etc) I think I try to ignore my reaction because I think I’ve felt it was an abnormal reaction perhaps....I’m not sure really but you’ve made me realise that these things can be triggering. Last time I quit I sort of had a daily routine of reading whatever I was reading, listening to AA podcasts, googling things like: ‘day 35 sober’ and ‘alcohol ruined my life’ etc and thinking back, it totally consumed me. I woke every morning, yes with relief, but also great fear and anxiety about what the day/ future might hold...even at days 100+. This time, 11 days has flown by and I’ve had days when I haven’t really thought about alcohol. I’ve been focusing on exercise (and homeschooling!)...I keep thinking I must listen to some podcasts and I must read a bit more of my quit lit book but I never seem to get round to it. Obviously I want to be cautious and not be caught off guard but after you saying these things are triggering, it’s really made me rethink my approach towards sobriety.

What do others think?

@Peaches2222 Exactly the same for me (the triggering). I am better if I share on here, get on with other stuff and just ignore it. I know some people find it really useful, but just from my personal experience, I don't. It's like if someone says "Don't think of an elephant". There is a great big jumbo in your mind's eye. I was the same with dieting. As soon as I decided to diet, I'd get the book and obsess over what I could and couldn't eat. I'd think about food constantly. Dabbled in Slimming World, and suddenly I was eating foods I don't like just because I could. It was daft. I lost a lot of weight last year just by cutting out the rubbish and reducing portion sizes. I just ignored it basically and got on with other stuff and the weight went.
When I tried to read quit lit, for me, like you, it became too thought consuming and stressed me out. But others I know find it helps, but I'm not one of them. Will be interested in other's thoughts too.

@Rupertpenrysmistress Well done you.

Love to all - it's Friday, which was always an excuse for me to drink even more - but now the days all blend into each other, so I'm going to pretend it's Monday, when I rarely drank before anyway.

Morning all.

I’m not reading any quit lit because I’m doing AA and I find it too many different alcohol-related messages confusing.

I suppose it’s about finding what works for you. I get a lot from hearing others share in AA meetings and on here, but other than the central AA literature (Big Book, 12 Steps) I get overwhelmed by reading.

I do know what you mean, it's so consuming and takes over your life a bit, but for me the quit lit and the podcasts really help me remember why I'm doing this and all the advantages. Otherwise the rose tinted memories take over until it comes flooding back once I have a crashing hangover. I do have to be careful about what I read/listen to though. I listened to one podcast that was unexpectedly about moderating and left me feeling really quite angry and miserable.

Day 12 and it's Friday again. Have a great weekend everyone.

Thanks for everyone’s thoughts. It’s interesting but shows how different we all are in our approaches. It’s definitely a ‘what works for you’ thing.

Definitely need to be careful about what you read/listen to and whether it fits with what you’re trying to achieve.

@Teetotallyimperfect I have to stay away from anything with even a sniff of moderating/‘you can reprogramme your relationship with alcohol’ type messages.
I no longer believe I can be a healthy drinker, after years of trying to moderate (and success for some periods of time and on some occasions), but inevitably always sliding back to drinking too much.

Thinking a bit more about why I don't find quit lit helpful (personally).
It could lull me into a false sense of security, that actually I don't really have a problem.
So, I know I used to drink too much - for me. I felt rubbish, I was constantly tired, I had anxiety, it niggled away at me all the time. My "too much" might not be another person's "too much". So, when I used to read about people who were blacking out, I'd think, I never blacked out. Then I'd read about some one quitting who was drinking in the morning and I'd think, I never did that. Or the amounts others were drinking was more than I drank. So I could (and did) convince myself that I was a bit of a drinker, but didn't really have a problem.

Does that make sense?

Have a lovely weekend everyone. That concludes today's update, so please: Stay Sober. Protect Your Liver. Save Money.

Totally makes sense @SophieB100

Happy Friday, everyone. My DH bought some ‘fake wine’ in M&S today and it was bloody disgusting , I also found having a big glass of what looked like ice cold Sauv a bit of a trigger for cravings, so coupled with the fact it tasted like grape juice, I won’t be doing that again!

Hi All. I’ve been reading the posts with interest. I like quit lit. Especially Annie Grace and Kate Bee. I think they have helped me see that alcohol really doesn’t help deal with the stresses of life and it is possible to have fun without relying on alcohol all the time to achieve it. I think this type of guidance is great for people who have fallen into bad drinking habits and need to rewire. I think without their help, not drinking would just be a miserable reliance on willpower. Instead it’s a sort of journey of self realization and improvement (although admittedly slow as a snail progress for me!) . Have a lovely weekend everyone. And I agree that AF wine is a crime! You can read the label and it looks great but takes like sweet chemically screwed up plonk. Af beer for me!

That's exactly how I feel iamyourequal

I so nearly drank last night. Had a row with DH and thought fuck it, I'm going to have a drink. Luckily I went for a long walk and had changed my mind by the time I got home. And today I'm so glad I did. It wouldn't have solved anything. In fact, it would have made it worse because I'd have been so angry with myself. Everything is fine again today. I think I was just over tired and over emotional. I need a new job.

Good on you Teetotally Using another coping strategy to deal with anger/frustration (or whatever your emotion was, sorry for trying to second guess!). These are trying times indeed. I had a barny myself with someone today, which I certainly don’t do often. I was upset about it and would normally have poured myself a stiff one afterwards to calm my nerves but I managed to resist. Still seething over it...lol.

How is everyone else today?

Well done @Teetotallyimperfect Drink only gives us a little reprieve from our problems, then it adds to solving them.

I'm ok, just a meh. Sleeping better, so that's good. Getting up a without a hangover is good. The evenings are a bit of drag, but then, I haven't had a busy week of work behind me.

I'm now at the crucial point of the crossroads where I have been many times. My head tells my this is right, and I just keep going and it will be normal, and my heart is saying that I never really had a problem at all and the wine witch is saying, "Oh go on, you stopped for nearly two weeks, so just have one..." So I've told her to feck off and I'm determined to listen to my head.

Keep going everyone, if I can do this, you certainly and absolutely can.

Hi all.

Well done for keeping going, everyone! Not easy in these stressful (and also slightly boring) times.

I felt a bit crappy today. Lethargic and grumpy and stir crazy. Terrible sugar cravings, too.

BUT am currently sipping on a tonic water with lemon and about to watch a film. Day 19. Third weekend without wine. Feels good ....and just the thought of even a mild hangover now is helping me beat off the wine witch.

Evening everyone. So glad to hear everyone is doing so well. Day 13 here!

@SophieB100 glad to hear it’s not just my wine witch that is making more and more of an appearance lately. I thought it was supposed to get less and less not more.

I dropped off some little pick me ups to a nurse-friends house today, and she was talking about the big celebration we’re going to have when this is all over. I told her I’ve kind of hopefully given up drinking (for good) and she laughed.

I’ve also been looking to plan a little getaway to one of our favourite festivals in August if this has passed by then. Everything is screaming “can’t wait to have a drink”, when before I was confidently saying “I don’t need alcohol to enjoy any of those things”

And sorry not to quote but a PP was saying the thoughts of everyone else is drinking and times are hard at the mo is it really a good time to try and quit bla bla bla. I hear you. I hope it gets easier!

Sorry, can you tell I’m struggling a bit?

Day 13 is amazing @Ghostonthedancefloor, well done.

Hi everyone
I'm so grumpy and bad tempered atm. Don't want to talk to anyone or do anything.
Have come to bed early with a cup of tea and going to try and get engrossed in a good book - not quit lit, just some good old fiction!

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling much better now and I'm a bit nicer to be around. I feel for those of you feeling grouchy and out of sorts. It's a horrible feeling when you're just stuck with the feelings instead of drinking then away (except we know they don't really go anywhere). I hope it passes quickly and you're all feeling better soon. The wine witch will get quieter and quieter as we get stronger and more confident in our sobriety. Hope you all have a peaceful Sunday

Afternoon all.
Feeling more positive today thankfully.
A friend was FaceTiming late last night (I didn’t answer as I knew she was drinking and we were watching a film)
And lots of messages this morning saying how rough she felt. Then I realise I don’t miss that!

Evening lovelies!
Bored.
But sober.
So that's a win.
Have so many up and down days, as I'm sure you all do. But let's hang on in there.
Take care, and kick that pesky wine witch into touch.

Thanks for this thread @Saltypotato. I would have definitely given in last night and had a glass of wine if it wasn't for having to come on here. Being a Saturday night it gave me an excuse to just have one!! However I held out.
I don't seem to be sleeping much better which is disappointing but I suppose it's early days really. It'll be 2 weeks tomorrow for me. I have lost 2.5 lbs in weight though.