Day 4 of giving up alcohol

[Saltypotato]

Hi all,

I am on another thread that started in Jan and is still running. We all started together and the support was immense, it was the only thing that got me through the first month. At the end of Jan/beginning of Feb I started having 'just the one' and we all know how that goes if you have a problem. The group are now at 100 days and whilst I love checking in they aren't at the starting stage I am at the moment.

Lockdown has meant I am out of routine and haven't had a reason to keep my drinking under control (no work, not driving etc) so after drinking every night since it began I ended up passing my last full bottle of booze to a friend a few days ago and making an attempt to give up.

That was a few days ago, I am just starting my day 4. It's been easier than I thought as there isnt the option of just popping out to the shop so I'm not taunting myself. I have got a bottle of vodka and one of gin in my amazon cart that I keep hovering over buying but its on a few days lead time so I don't want it to arrive when I'm a week in and undo my hard work. That thought is stopping me.

But we have to go out today for essentials and tonight I have a zoom call with friends in the "pub". I am really tempted to get something whilst I'm out and my brain is doing the 'oh you deserve it, its a stressful time' and 'you can just have two to join in' (from experience, I can't)

If anyone else is feeling similar or just started their journey into the wonderful world of tonic water please join me. Strength in numbers, right?

Quietly joining the party ladies. Hi!

Crate of bitter lemon 🍋 tomorrow from our local shop, pain again this evening, but hang in there fellow teetotallers, it does get better, I’m lucky six years in but have never forgotten the feeling of shame after my last drink.

Can I join too.
It’s all getting a bit bonkers. I’m not even sure I can have one night af. So this is my commitment to me. And you guys I guess. Thanks

Welcome TinyTickler and Gulp123, check in here anytime. Our party with the posh cordials and coherent chat is the best around. 😎 So pull up a chair and pop open the snacks. We are in this together taking it one day at a time. 💪🏻

Glad to hear you are feeling better @Holothane. 6 years sober is amazing. 👏🏻

How’s everyone doing this morning? I’m feeling a bit tired today because the dog woke me up at 4:30 then 6:30. Would have been much worse if I’d had a few beers last night.

@randomer that sounds awful - support services shouldn't leave you feeling bullied! You'll find lots of support here though - I feel like I've built my own support package, between here, my books, podcasts and instagram.

@SophieB100 yes thank you, I managed to snap out of my mood . How have you been?

@TwistinMyMelon I was in the habit of making a G&T as soon as I got in from work (and on days off I'd start even earlier) to try and unwind, and it's still where my mind automatically goes to when I'm feeling stressed/pissed off/anxious. Now I try some other things (walking, gardening, fancy AF drinks) and I find the result isn't so instant (chucking a drink down my throat is a quick 'fix') but when I do relax, it feels like a more genuine feeling iyswim. There have been a few times when nothing has seemed to work and I've just gone to bed but I usually feel better in the morning.

Has anyone tried Pukka Three Ginger tea? I'd recommend it if you like a bit of a kick. I'm sending a fortune on Pukka tea but its still cheaper than bottles of wine/gin.

Welcome @tinytickler and @gulp123

@heatseeker14 Yes, hangover free mornings are the BEST aren't they?! Especially when you have an early start!

Sorry, I feel like I'm taking over this thread

Quick question...how do you use Angostura bitters? Is it like a cordial or do you just add a couple of drops? The one I'm looking at says ABV 44.7% by vol. Is that ok? I'm assuming it's ok if you are using a tiny bit or is there an AF one?

@Teetotallyimperfect I wonder if anybody else has strayed into the world of substance misuse services. Its a strange place. I contacted mine early on in lockdown as the terror I was feeling was dampenend down with booze. I was told to abstain. Great, like I had never thought of that!

My tip for drinks is Crawstons, rhubarb flavour. Its a reasonably adult taste.

I also had an idea of getting rid of my 2 wine glasses, they're not particularly attractive anyway.

I use Angostura bitters @Teetotallyimperfect, just one or two drops. A bottle lasts ages. The amount you use is so tiny, it negates the alcohol content. A cheaper alternative to Seedlip, for a more adult different drink. I use them in tonic, with lots of ice and lime. Very nice. Glad you feel better today - I'm ok, pottering around, keeping busy. On MN too much!

@randomer I don't have any experience of substance misuse services myself but I'm sure there are others on this thread who do. Hopefully most people won't have had the same awful experience you had.

If you're finding your wine glasses are making you think of drinking then maybe getting rid of them is a good idea. Either that or just putting them away out of sight.

Thank you @SophieB100, I'm going to order a bottle .

@EdwinaMay @Ghostonthedancefloor @AvoidingTheWineAisle how are you all?

Nice to see other new faces in here, just checking in. Just like the thread title I'm now on day four, after 6 days clear last week and the same the week before. Determined to get past Saturday night this week as that's been my downfall the last two weeks, but there's been a surprising benefit - my brain seems to have clicked that I don't drink the rest of the time.
I don't mean to sound like I've decided to moderate, as I haven't. It's more that instead of each day feeling like I have to choose not to drink that day, my mind seems to have accepted that 6 days of a week it's not even an option, and the day I'll choose one way or the other is Saturday. Noticed it when I was around people drinking over the sunny bank holiday and my reaction was 'why would I do that, it's Monday!'.
It's odd but I think that's my reactions/unconscious shifting perspective over time - I'm really focusing on building a life without drinking, and when I was super stressed with work yesterday I reached for chocolate, but I didn't reach for wine, I didn't have to talk myself out of it, it just wasn't my 'go to'. Hope that is some encouragement for other people having repeat day 1s!

Oh and for all the talk of nice AF drinks, there's a Janey Lee Grace podcast about sober living and this week she's interviewing a bartender who specialises in alcohol free or v low alcohol drinks, it's worth a listen!

That is brilliant @Threeflyingducks. That change in mind set is massive

The podcast sounds good. I used to listen to JLG podcast religiously every Friday but I've stopped recently so I need to catch up again. I've found a podcast called The Sober Experiment which I've been listening to from the beginning which I quite like.

Hi @teetotally I’m still here but felt I couldn’t contribute for a few day as of course my day of two drinks turned into a couple of days of a few drinks

On Sunday I had about 5 of those 250ml pre made G&Ts. Did absolutely nothing for me, so much so I actually had to check I didn’t pick up the alcohol free ones!

However, I can confirm that what it did do was give me back the anxiety, which I was shocked at two things - even though I didn’t even feel anything tipsy wise -

1. I had such awful anxiety I couldn’t get to sleep until 3am.
2. I’ve never experienced anxiety in the night - it’s usually the next day. Which I’m thinking I used to drink so much that it drowned that bit out. I couldn’t believe it. Just a few weak-ish drinks of high sugared crap did that! I haven’t had anything since and have been fine. Just goes to show hey.

I feel I kind of got it out of my system as you could probably tell by my previous posts I was going to give in eventually. Yes they were nice to drink at the time, but not so nice it was worth the horrible thoughts you get after it. The drinks you all talk about on here sound WAY nicer!

If any of you are struggling, especially with this weather we’re having at the mo, think of me as your guinea pig - the thought of sitting in the sun with something cold and alcoholic sounds lovely, but the reality is it is very, very, very short lived and the price you pay is disproportionately high.

I’m so proud of you all for smashing your goals

Thanks ghost - just woken up with anxiety and shame - didnt even manage my first night. Even tho a voice was saying, no! Think of mumsnet! The rest of me squished it out and guzzled horrible sour white wine. To be fair to me, have a lot to deal with atm , just that this Is so not the way to deal with it. So another night of sleeplessness and anxiety and a morning of feeling depressed and dull and no energy. I know I don’t want to do this, but how do I not?!

I hear you gulp! I’m in the same boat. I’m getting better in some ways-I now manage at least one or two af nights a week but I find it so hard. It’s a habit for me combined with an addictive personality.

I’m going to write this list out along with my own reasons for not wanting to drink and stick it in front of my wine. I’m going to not have wine with dinner and make myself wait 15 minutes before I have wine. @

I referred to our local substance abuse centre. I had one pretty rubbish worker and one who was great. It was a weird place to go though as there were obviously lots of drug users going too and one overdosed while I was there. I was ushered into a room but could overhear it all and the blue light ambulance crew etc. It helped a bit but nothing I couldn’t have found out myself. They didn’t think I drank enough to take any drugs that meant I couldn’t drink although that is what I’d like tbh. I’m currently drinking about 25 units a week.

Day 38 for me ! Incredible really, but I don't work so with lockdown the days seem to run together.
One reason I stopped was because I wanted to be able to actually do something in the evenings instead of dozing in front of the tv. So thinking of the evening ahead helps me avoid the 5pm wine o clock drink.
I am also eating nibbles or sweets at the time that I would normally have the first drink, losing the hungry feeling helps.
We have been invited to an over the wall drink with neighbours on Sat night. It will be our first (distanced) get together (theirs and ours) since lockdown so I might have a small glass of something as it will be a significant event. Can't decide if refusing any will make more of a fuss than just having the one and then no more.
2 things helped me, the wish to do something more with the long summer evenings than lolling about and, two, not getting riled by my DH, he retired not long ago and prior to that my reason, in my mind, for having a drink or 3 was as a reward for getting through the day (daft really) then latterly annoyance with DH as he is quite selfish. However I suddenly thought why am I letting feelings about others control my life (my drinking) - I have to do what I want and need and forget about everyone else. If that makes any sense. Also I am older and felt my body was not benefitting from regular doses of alcohol.
So don't give up everyone, I'm finally getting there after decades of regular drinking! ...... all those wasted evenings.

Hi haggis and edwina, v nice to hear your posts.
Haggis thanks for the list. Will read it tonight!I’m shocked to realise I’m drinking about 50 units a week atm . Sorry you went through that, doesn’t sound pleasant at all.
Edwina I’m going to try this - I’m fed up too, of dozing thru the evenings then being anxious all night. Had a shock when I realised I’ve joine an online course that’s on at 8 pm and I’ve drunk too much to do it. Or any other hobbies. Or wash up. So I wake after an anxious sleepless night, feeling crap with a mucky kitchen. Then I’m too tired to do much but crawl through the day, too tired to excersise. Then when I cook dinner mr alcohol starts his naughty little whispers!
I too am older and have a selfish dh, so started drinking to cope. Had Some counselling which said what you are saying, ‘learn to do what I want and need and forget about everyone else’. I think maybe we were / are suppressing what we want with a big gulp of wine.?
Try again tonight. Good luck everybody

@Gulp123 the damn stuff is everywhere and it does give temporary relief to the loads we carry around with us.

Personally, I was drinking heavily at the beginning of lockdown to sort of anaethetise myself, make it go away and sleep in , thereby shortening the day. Ofcourse, when I woke up at 6 am with a banging headache, it was an epic fail.

One little thing that has always stuck with me is this
There is no problem, big or small ,that drink can't make worse.

I’m really struggling this evening. I feel really moody and want to switch my head off. Have hit the first proper bump in the road.
Hope everyone else is okay.

That moody thing is so horrible. dm me if you want a diversion.

Hello everyone hugs to all struggling or overwise, after a few hellish days see earlier posts I have hopefully turned a corner little niggles but no serious pain today, also at last dh had finally been diagnosed Parkinson’s at last things can start helping him now. It’s not going to cure it but at least we both know we’re not wrong these last few years. I’ve decided to save for a small frost free feeder along with our fridge freezer for next winter, we rely a lot on the freezer now, so leopard print birthday scaled back bits and bobs through out the year, bitter lemon tomorrow I hope.🍋😊

Oh halothane, that’s major, I’m so sorry to hear that. Please make sure you both get counselling. Have been through similar ish and it’s vital to get help before you feel you need it.
Random Er There is no problem, big or small ,that drink can't make worse
Yup. Have managed first night af for AGES. Anesthetising with alcohol like you. Wasn’t hard coz feel so crap from last nights bottle.haggisfish, your list helped. And three flying ducks, the Jenny grace video said alcohol contributes to anxiety. So convinced me, for one night anyway!
Thanks for letting me join in xx