Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

Checking in - thanks for the new thread Dry.

Today is day 32 for me, According to the app I use, I've saved £375, 348 units and 23.7k calories (?!?!).

For me the motivation is heart health - heart disease runs in my family and I have morbid fears about the effect of alcohol on my health. I'm too scared to go to the GP for a check up. I've promised myself I'll go once I reach 100 days.

I'm taking it one day at a time as I still struggle with the thought of never drinking again.

Oh I forgot to add, I'm having a tough week, feeling bleurgh, suffering with headaches and actually woke up yesterday feeling hungover! I've been taking a break from running and working out due to feet injuries and I think it's really affected my MH. Need to get back into it I think.

Hello all! Lovely to see so many people on here, and love the inspirational long-term AF dudes coming on with their stories.

Day 50 for me. I'm hoping to get to 100 days and will take it from there.

Never eaten more sweets/biscuits in my life, and I'm awash with herbal tea, but it's all worth it.

Checking in! Thank you for the new thread. I’m lookout forward to fan feb too.

I stopped on boxing day 2018. You do just get used to not drinking. I found it was hard to break initially but now i just dont think about it. Occasionally i think it would be nice to have a wine but i know where it would lead and life in genuinely happier and easier and calmer without it.

Sorry you're feeling so bleurgh metoo, I've had a few days like that too.

If you want a fitness/running buddy, I'm in! I swim and used to run but got out of the habit and would love to start again.

Fun, fitness, fat busting Feb sounds fantastic!

Growing I've got my eye on 100 days as a goal too. I'll be staying AF, but I like the thought of reaching that goal.

And hello nitgel, thank you for the inspirational post.

Hello all! I lurked on the first thread from time to time when it came up in active conversations and now I want to join since I've gotten to the point where I am 31 days sober. This is the longest stretch I can remember and I want to keep going because I like not falling asleep on the sofa, waking up at 2am and not getting back to sleep and ruining the rest of the day.

The numb feeling resonates @MyBoysHaveDogsNames.

DH and I plan to go out for a meal tonight and I am determined not to have a nice glass of wine with it and know I can do it. I haven't thought about missing alcohol in January at all but this is the first time I've been out so it is a bit of a test.

I want to keep riding this wave and hopefully this thread will keep me on track as well.

I managed 20 non- consecutive days in Jan, but moderated considerably. Feeling ready to face Fab Feb, think/ hope eek! Hope to feel/ look better and to stop being an embarrassing blabbermouth after wine.
I’ve been practising better habits for a while with help of quitlit and threads like these. Hoping by joining I will feel accountable. It is a positive choice after all.
So, hello- please may I join the fab febbers!

Thanks House, I'm up for that - will start with a run tomorrow as it's already end of the day here and I'm a morning exerciser

I'm also a blabbermouth with the wine! I had a few social affairs with my in-laws at Xmas and I could find myself mouthing off about current affairs issues which I would otherwise bite my lip on, so I'd have that feeling of remorse when the alcohol wore off.

Have also been spending my time on my health and well being in January and have lost a few pounds. I've been doing Couch to 5K and am in week 5 and I want to finish the full 8 weeks of it and go beyond that. Exercising is helping me moderate my stress and anxiety levels far more effectively than wine can.

I actually dreamed that I was drinking rose last night and bottles were everywhere! So relieved to wake up.

If anyone's done a while AF and wants to see how much their perspective has shifted, go to a greetings card shop and have a look at the birthday cards! I was thoroughly amused yesterday when I saw how many of them refer to boozing. Such a crazy culture we have that I've accepted for so many years and now I see it completely differently, I know I'd sound really boring and preachy to anyone else but you guys will know what I mean!

Hi everybody.

Thanks drybird for the new thread. My dh is a bit sceptical too. He doesn’t see me having a alcohol problem because I can go for weeks with out having a drink. I can have a glass of wine with a meal, or a bottle of wine at home and go to bed (although I’ll often have a hot choc topped up with brandy that he doesn’t know about) and I’ll be completely fine - yet when I go out and drink I get black outs and act like a fool.

It’s been seven days since my last ‘episode’ and I think it’s took me a full week to get it out of my system. Last Saturday nights I had an argument with a taxi driver (after drinking wine, fizz, vodka and gin) and forced him to let me out of the taxi as I was convinced he was over charging me. He let me get out - on a very busy multi round about off a motor way. It was pitch black. Cars where wizzing about and I couldn’t speak to dh properly about where I was as I was too pissed. I was staggering around in my heels crying. I actually started thumbing a lift. A car pulled up with two girls and actually drove me home. Meanwhile my dh has left our two kids in bed to come looking for me.

This was my red line. So many bad things could have happened to me or my kids.

Hope I’ve not depressed you all 🙈

I’m off to do the weekly shop as I’ve been hiding in the house all week and take the girls to a play area.

I can do this.

Hope you all have a lovely day

You're on metoo!

I prefer mornings too, so will check in Sunday morn (eve for you) and confirm I'm still alive!

Hello
Thanks for the new thread @Drybird2020. I'm @ontheshingle, day 36 and very grateful for the January support from this thread. I'm in this for life now. I've had enough day 1s.
My DH is now on day 7 probably for the first time since we met 20 years ago and were already feeling the benefits to our relationship (and children).
Welcome to all the new posters.

Reporting in!! Found you all.. Day 32 AF. I'm also very sad about Brexit and could of easily hit the wine last night I was so bloody miserable about it. My aim in now 100 days which takes me to early April. The benefits of how good I'm feeling (apart from the stinking cold) as far better than the dizzy highs and god awful lows of wine..!

Happy to have found you all and delighted we are all still going strong.

DH and I were also noticing this morning that Brexit would have seemed like a perfect time to drown our sorrows - all those reasons we make up for ourselves - I can hear the conversation - we need it to cheer ourselves up etc, and we would have felt justified in sinking a bottle of wine at 10pm and felt crap this morning. there is always a reason to drink.

Joining in. Day 32 here. Longest AF stretch since I was last pg, 18 years ago. Planning on keeping going.

Day 35 for me. Ended up in a very bad mood as had to walk into a pub to use the loo then also walking around all the booze and high sugar, high fat junk food at the supermarket and wanting it all. Even all the wine drinking on tv is pissing me off.

At home now though with lots of fresh fruit, coffee and sparkling water.

Just keep reminding myself that my brain is rewiring. Also helps to envision myself 1 year from now - slim and healthy I hope!

I liked what someone said on the old thread about the first bit just being about staying sober; that's the job to be done.

I feel like I'm not doing much else very well at all, but I'm not drinking and that's good enough for now.

Day 1 completed despite lunchtime drink where I had no problem or inner battle over choosing tonic water- aromatic bitter- nice and not sweet.
A short time ago I would have lamented every mouthful that was not wine and stared at cold glasses of Pinot with envy.
Yay!

Hi, I'm going to join if that's ok. I have just completed dry January and went out last night with my dh for a meal. It ended up with my head in a bucket after spending a fortune on wine. Normally I only really drink at home and clearly I need to stop now for good. I just couldn't stop drinking. I'm very embarrassed and shocked about how much I drank! During the month I had off I was able to see how much I rely on a daily glass of wine to deal with stress and my anxiety was so much better for giving up the booze. This has been a huge wake up call for me and I need to stop my toxic relationship with alcohol.

Hello,

Could I join too? I've read the previous thread from start to finish, and have picked up lots of tips. I'm on day 8.

Was previously a small and often drinker. I'd have maybe one or two drinks about 5 nights a week with maybe a big night (usually at home alone!) once a week. Definitely drank mostly to relieve the boredom of drudgery and sometimes for stress.

At the moment I feel bloody fantastic. Have had literally one craving which didn't last and I don't miss it at all. I think this has been a combination of just being ready to do it - it just doesn't give me pleasure anymore (that golden 30 mins someone said about - it's about 15-20 minutes for me then hangover symptoms start) and reading the Jason Vale book - halfway through that.

Motivation to continue:

1. no more fuzzy head after even just one beer. Crystal clear thinking is just bliss
2. no more tiredness through alcohol - that depressed tired is the pits
3. 100% being myself in social situations - awkwardness and shyness warts and all. This is good for my self esteem because it sends myself the message that I'm good enough as I am. Previously wanted to be fun-loving / funny, to make others happy. At what cost?
4. As lots of people have said: more patience and less grumpy with DH and DC.
5. less negotiation with myself about how much to drink before a night out, and getting panicked that I can't access booze to keep the tipsy feeling on an even keel

By the way YES to the chin spots and headaches, and extreme tiredness for a week!!! feeling better now. So nice to read that as I don't think I've read it anywhere else.

Thank you for this post and for all those sharing on it. Pam xx

Morning everyone, hello to new folk, Pamela, Squeaky and Bunty.

Teaches how are you doing?

Dry you are awesome! And you started this thread!

metoo it is peeing it down here, so just waiting for a dry window to run...but I will! Did you get out?

What are people's plans today? I need to do some work and get DS out...

Nice post @Pamelapeaches, I agree with your motive

DH and I did go out last night and, for the first time in a long time, I was the designated driver. Normally I'd sink the first glass before the meal arrived and then hoping that the waiter would ask if I'd like another one with me having to prompt them. I'd get that shame of needing that 2nd glass of wine so soon.

DH isn't a big drinker and doesn't drink in the house, which helps I suppose. My best friend is though, and she admits herself that she needs to cut down. I haven't really gotten together socially since the new year but that will be a bit of a test of our friendship. She is going through a hard time with her dad and alcohol is a way for her to unwind and I totally get that.