Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

I am so impressed with the support and attitude on this thread. I do think not drinking on a daily basis is easier than continually making decisions about it.

Feeling slightly calmer this evening.

Thank you all long busy day at work. Really appreciate all your kind comments. I know I need to quit it's just so permanent that I am just looking at it day by day

The mad thing is I know how amazing I feel when I don't drink. Will keep checking in. Have a good night.

Addiction is a mindfuck, take it moment by moment if it needs be @Rupertpenrysmistress.

Sleep well a new day awaits.

Good mornikng folks, hope everyone is ok.

My drive in was lighter than ususal, which felt nice. I have a stupidly long day, including a work meal later but am driving so not worried about drinking.

Morning morning.

All OK here today. Lovely restful sleep.

Rupert - been thinking about you. Your (overwhelming? too strong a word?) thought that quitting alcohol feels so permanent... is it linked to the thought of feeling deprived i.e. as though you will be loosing something by being AF?

If so... and you may already be doing this, but I would definitely recommend reading some quit-lit. Jason Vale in particular goes into each perceived 'benefit' of drinking, and smashes it with a counter-argument. Whatever positives you 'think' you get from drinking - even that first 15-30 minutes golden buzz is a fallacy, and a lie.

You can't feel deprived about giving up something you don't actually want. You can only feel a brilliant freedom. He put this in a great way, for me (I think he's not to everyone's tastes). For me, he makes me feel like I'm in some secret brilliant club that only AF people can access! Not saying I feel like this 100% of the time, but it sure is helping me right now.

Now will someone please copy and paste that in a post that again when this newbie here (me) inevitably slips up at some stage :-)

Day 39 and feeling weepy again. Not tempted to drink but wish I could just go home and lie in bed all day.

Well done to everyone keeping on track.

Hi everyone,
Support to those feeling down. I am too, really struggling, and I'd love a drink to take it away or a while.
I don't think I'd realised how sad I am.

Hugs to Peaches and Shingle - sorry to hear you guys are struggling today.

Sorry Peaches and Shingle. Keep chatting on here, if it helps x

Hi all, just checking in , still dry, lost count of the days but somewhere between 35 and 45!

Love and hugs to all of those who need it

Checking in, too, day 35.

Also tired, glad we’re out of January now and surely Spring can’t be far away. Bored of winter!

It's so tough I can see everyone struggles a bit. I will look at Jason Vale thanks for that. I am indulging in the quit lit.

So this evening I poured a brandy and opened so coke (no wine in the house) my husband heard and said don't have too many. He doesn't know I am quitting as I am fed up with letting him down but, I poured the drink away. I am jus about to get in the bath with an audiobook and some candles.

Thank you all for your encouragement it really helps.

Day 36 also tired! And doing jigsaws! And looking forward to doing to bed at 0830 most nights.

Wednesdays used to be the night Id reward myself for getting through 2 long and frantic days at work. Tonight I'm having a nice tea, bath and bed.

Well done @Rupertpenrysmistress and enjoy your bath. Hoping that you are just finding a bump in the road and things start to get a bit better for you. for you and anyone else needing a wee boost. It's a crappy time of year but nice to find it getting lighter.

It can take quite a while for your brain chemistry to return to normal after going AF. Console yourselves that each day is one step closer to a normal life that you're in full control of.

Oh boy...it’ll take all my powers not to drink tonight. Sorry that I’ve not been checking in. And all power to all of us, whether we’re managing or not. I am so so busy. I have two jobs and study and two teenagers. I seem to be doing so much every single day, every minute really. And I’m feeling pretty sorry for myself

Oh and dp has just said he’s drinking wine tonight and I would love to join him and feel like it’s us against the world again. Oh bloody woe is me!

Stay strong @StillDumDeDumming.

I found the first 30 days the hardest, as every few days was a first, a hurdle to get over. First time I had a nice meal, first weekend away, first stressful situation, it would have been so easy to give in.

Once I had that first month under my belt, I knew I could work through those situations, plus I started to feel that I had something to prove to myself and wanted to see if I could carry on to 100 days. I'm stubborn like that.

Only just got home so will catch up properly tmrw.

Rupert that was an excellent decision, well done. I hope things will begin to feel easier soon.

still hang in there. Keep posting for reinforcement, we're here.

Sorry to hear others are feeling low. It is such a long dark winter, I'm desperate for some snow days but they don't come...

I have had a very long day at work, lost count of the number of times I was told to fuck off. No urge to drink, however.

I rode that particular urge! The first whiff of wine was lush, but after that I didn’t even notice it was in the room.

Glad to hear that @StillDumDeDumming.

Big well done, Rupert, really brilliant. How are you feeling today?

Still I hope you've up feeling proud of not drinking, you have so much on your plate. Well done for not caving.

As Elsa said, there are benefits to being stubborn!

Blimey Dry, you had quite a day! Hope you're ok too.

Well done @StillDumDeDumming and @Rupertpenrysmistress but also to everyone not drinking every day.
Thanks for the good wishes yesterday, @HouseTornado and @HowlsMovingBungalow and and others. I'm OK but life is just a bit tough at the moment. I know drinking wouldn't make it better.
Day 41 - longer than Lent now.
My DH went out for a big dinner last night with a friend - cocktail bar, posh restaurant. Another huge first for him, and he managed and I'm so proud of him, and pleased for him and me. we had a lovely chat at 5.30am and there is no way that would have happened if he'd been drinking. he's always been defensive about any benefits to not drinking before and now he's embracing it.
Darkest quarter of the year is over now @Drybird2020 - was light at 5pm yesterday, and first light is before 7am now (here in London) - every little helps me and I hope you too.

Told to fuck off at work @Drybird2020 ? You poor thing. What do you do? I tell loads of people to fuck off at work but only under my breath and once they have retreated from my desk.

Well done @Rupertpenrysmistress for turning down temptation, and all of us for still going. I am feeling a bit cheerier now for some reason.

Going into hospital for a minor op today. Looking forward to the morphine and also hoping they ask me how much I drink.

Hope all those who feel a bit sad feel better today. The days are lighter and we've had some beautiful sunsets recently.