Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

Just checking in, I do read the thread just don't post much nowadays. Lovely to read about your strength and sober time wracking up!
Day 140 here. Still working which at times is super stressful as staff levels are 50% down.
Weight is finally coming off probably due to all the stress and obviously not consuming 1000 empty wine calories a day. Think the lockdown has been a positive for me re stopping drinking as we haven't attending any boozy family do's or meet ups in pubs and I have personally avoided all video calls where ppl have been drinking/drunk. I am selfishly focusing in on my health and being physically and mentally well.

Another strange and confusing week ahead of us, take care of yourselves x

I’m the same as you, howls - I am still readin the thread, still dry (130 days), still cheering you all on from the sidelines. Welcome to the newbies!

Waves at fellow sober lurker @SophoclestheFox!

I think it’s obliviants, I’m after, @Drybird2020 (made up word... there must be one?)
I think I need some therapy or something to address the underlying want to self-medicate.

@SparklingLime the owning your issues part of this process is certainly a challenge. Someone (maybe still?) posted a link upthread to Annie Grace exploring that topic, it might be worth having a look.

I know exactly what you mean. Sorry I don't have any answers, just a lot of sympathy.

“Owning your issues” is very thought provoking.

I definitely don’t own my issues, in many ways they still own me. A few years back I used to really like myself (or at least accept myself), now there are all these things about me I struggle with. Alcohol was a part of that, in many ways, and it was both a cause and a symptom of everything that was wrong with my life.

That probably makes no sense.... I will check out the relevant Annie Grace recommdation.

How are you all today?

@BunniesBunniesBunnies

Thought provoking and relevant words dear bunny. I started work at 9am this morning and have only just got home (midnight) so didn't have a second to even think about boozing tonight.. However I have noticed that alcohol is mentioned everywhere. I had to do quite a bit of driving about this evening whilst on duty and was listening to my favourite podcast, louanna. Alcohol is constantly mentioned and as much as I was envious that the girls on the podcast are drinking and discussing being typsy part of me thought alcohol is basically a poison. That's a huge step for me. The number of clients I deal with that commit crimes or do inappropriate and consequential things often makes me think how easy it would be to get to that really destructive stage. I think my mindset Is almost (nearly there, (not quite) at the stage where I'm glad that I now don't drink. Long may those thoughts continue. I'm certainly feeling more in control.
Hope you are all doing well you lovely lot

Hello all. You may recognise my name I was here back in Feb and ashamed to say it's day 1 for me today. I can't do this anymore nearly 2 bottles last night. Back on the quit lit.

Sounds like this thread has been really successful, I am so envious of you guys, you are all doing so well and some of you have so much else going on too. Hope it's ok to join again, I do feel rather shameful.

Hello everyone. I've failed to rise early and am lying here contemplating the day ahead.

@myhandsareverycold, your working days sound intense. How do you relax at the end of the day now you don't use booze? You're so right about alcohol being everywhere, our culture is pickled in it, with very little mention made of the downsides.

@Rupertpenrysmistress welcome back. Day 1 is a good day to join. You're not alone, many of us have slipped up, including me several times in the past when I've tried to go AF (though not since I started these threads and made a deal with myself that I'd post every day). Do you want to talk about it?

Hi Drybird2020 I could give a million excuses for why I drink too much. The thing is I don't really enjoy it! That's mad. I can't stop at one so I have to quit.

I owe my family this now. I am pleased to hear that this thread has kept you sober. It's fantastic. Can I ask so you have any tips for staying sober? Did you do aa? I don't fancy that myself but, I know lots of people have found it useful.

I was reading through the thread and I am so pleased for all the great positive stories. Well done all. Hello Rupert I remember you from the thread (when I was doing better too!) and glad to see you back. I’m back at AF day 2 but we just need to keep on trying. You are not alone at all.
I’m off today and the sun is shining. Going to try and have a pleasant but productive day. It’s so nice getting up without a cloudy head and sickly stomach.

I'm leaving this here again for both of you, Rupert and iam as a reminder that the first part of going AF is the hardest, and it does get easier.

mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/2015/09/the-obstacle-course.html?m=1

Thanks for that Drybird2020 it makes sense, it's a great analogy. I feel awful today but that's my own doing. I am hoping I feel better tomorrow.b

Interesting analogy @Drybird2020 and welcome back @Rupertpenrysmistress🙂

Hope everyone is okay.

I’m still slowly picking of the pieces on the path of destruction drunk me left behind, which isn’t fun, buuuuuuut I am also 30 days sober🤩🤩🤩 Which is the longest I have not drunk for years, probably since pregnancy. I really never thought I could do it but I did.

I thought it would make me boring but it didn’t.

I thought I would hate social occasions (well Zoom ones!) sober but I don’t!

My favourite benefits are feeling calmer and more patient with my husband and children, my husband says it feels like he has me “back” which was so nice to hear.

Anyway enough about me! Hope everyone else is hanging in there too.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies it makes sense that your husband said that. Being more present is something I'm aware of in myself, I was using alcohol as a way to check out for a while. A more difficult realisation had been that I often feel claustrophobic in my family (despite the fact that they're a dream come true and I love them dearly) and I need to find ways to create space for myself.

@Rupertpenrysmistress I haven't tried AA personally but I know people who swear by it. Sober tips depend on the individual, but I would say that for the first few weeks your only job is to not drink, don't worry about diet, exercise, learning the mandolin or whatever. Self improvement comes later.

During the first few weeks I spent a lot of time in my pyjamas, ate sugar and drank Becks Blue. Now I don't (most of the time) 😊

Hiya everyone, how are you all?

@BunniesBunniesBunnies that's such a lovely thing for your husband to say. Well done on 30 days that's brilliant .

👋 hello to everyone new to the thread.
I've had a few blah days, had an internal toddler tantrum with myself the other day - an it's not fair, sod it type of thing - but I didn't sod it and am now 70 days sober. Horrah!.
Went running today, and as per the guidelines, met a friend! Haven't seen her for like 8 weeks?! I ran 2 metres behind her and we talked / shouted the whole way. It's made such a difference to how I feel I can't tell you. Just what the doc ordered. If you can meet up with any of your friend(s) for a walk / sit on a bench / run I thoroughly recommend it.

@Rupertpenrysmistress similar to drybird, pj's and eating lots of sweets, fizzy drinks. I can't drink af beer/ wine as am thinking it'll make me want the real stuff, maybe in the future will try it. Also, I had a bath every evening when I started struggling, took my mind off it for a while. I also dusted off my colouring books, had some for awhile I got from the works, and have a word game app on my phone and used those both a lot to distract me and stop me thinking. Hope this helps x

Hi jess3817 thanks for the tips it is similar to what I was doing when I quit before. Did you say 70 days sober? That is fantastic you must feel great. I really want to start running again, another thing fallen by the way.

Anyway looking forward to waking up sober. Sleep well all.

Thanks for the link Drybird. It is always helpful to read it - it’s very clever and soo true. I’m feeling good about not drinking tonight but have no faith in my ability to stay AF at the weekends, especially in lockdown. I will try though! Have a good week everyone. Lovin’ hearing all the big AF day numbers!

Hello- a flying visit as I’m back at work now. Just thought I’d mention that the alcohol experiment- Annie grace - are still doing free coaching.

‘We're still here and still helping with group coaching calls nightly. If you feel alone or need support right now while we navigate this new and sometimes scary world - please join us in the free TNM Connection every night from 7pm-9pm EDT’.
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tnmind.co/tnmconnection-fb

Well done on 70 days @jess3817!!!

@BunniesBunniesBunnies and @jess3817 impressive breakthrough numbers - all power to you!

Well done @jess3817 for getting over that wall and past the wine witch, 70 days ( now 71) is fantastic.
I had the same sort of thing at 80 odd days ,was planning on how much wine I was going to buy and the different shops to go for it ,because I was going to buy a lot. The witches arch enemy must have stepped in because I went to lidle and spent over £30 on chocolate,sweets,crisps and ice cream.
You can probably tell that I’m not the running kind of person, but that worked for me . I probably will put on weight but that doesn’t matter, just now what matters is that I stay sober .

Congrats to jess and bunnies on the impressive milestones. And @Splendidsunrise that's... Splendid! I find it very interesting that you made such detailed plans to drink and then abandoned them, do you know what it was that made you change course?

@iamyourequal do you notice the difference between "I'm trying not to drink today" and "I'm not drinking today"? I wonder if it would help to make this adjustment to your self talk.

@StillDumDeDumming, back at work! How is it? How is your DP while you're working?

Morning everyone, this thread is filling up fast. We will need a new one soon!

It's good to see that everyone keeps posting and getting such tremendous support on here, so thank you again @Drybird2020.

@iamyourequal, don't set yourself targets too far ahead. Even thinking about the weekend can be a step too far. It really is one day at a time. Store up the resolve you get every day and you will find it helps when you are struggling.

Early on in these threads, we talked about not drinking being our super power. So true.