Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

house dry tornado and peaches you have all been so lovely, sorry I have not name checked everyone I'm not great at this. Will get there though.

Your words of encouragement have been really helpful I didn't really want that drink so feel great about not having that with a clear head this morning.

I will do this but need a shift of some sort feel stuck in limbo, maybe it is the depressing dark.

Anyway I hope you all have a sober, stress free and peaceful day.

@Rupertpenrysmistress that is absolutely brilliant, the clear head and sense of achievement are the first of your many rewards! I think of this as the start of my new life.

Growing and Tornado I work with very needy young people so being sworn at is part of the job, really. Usually I let it wash over me but it can get rather wearing. I'm not in the office today.

@Growingboys ooh yes, they will ask you how much you drink and you will say NOT AT ALL! That's going to feel amazing. Have fun with the morphine 😁😁 and congratulations on being so very chirpy about going to hospital, Pollyanna.

Thank you everyone for coming to my pity party

@Ontheshingle (what a lovely name) this is it entirely. I had one of those meetings at school where they sit and tell you that you’re not doing enough while setting out a plan they’ve come up with that is about a tenth of what I’ve been doing for years). That would be fine if course, smile and nod, except my ex is sitting there looking smug because goes to work before the school run. And I go to his house and try to get her to school and then go to work and do more hours than him. And then they say she should get the bus to school with a friend and they will arrange this. Ok! The only contact time I get grrrr.

So yes drinking is tempting but will not help at all!

I’ve bought one of those light alarms- it’s a £30 one and really good. I’m delivering a yoga nidra tonight to a women’s group all about the pause, the poise and the promise of this dawning light turning to spring time. Could well be lovely.

Just checking in. Still dry and its becoming the norm now. I can't actually believe it.

I've mentioned this blog before - Mrs D is going without. Lotta Dan, the author, has collated all the posts from each month of her sobriety, which I find really helpful. Here's month 2 (for month 1 and later month people, those months are there too):
livingwithoutalcohol.blogspot.com/p/month-2.html
Some of what she expresses resonates for me with what alot of what many of us are feeling at the moment.
She also mentions 'Dry' by Augusten Burroughs, which I'm reading at the moment and is great rip-roaring quitlit.

I read 'Dry' many moons ago, I do love a dark and raw book, I might revisit that one! Thanks for the reminder.

Had a drunk dream last night, knew they were going to appear and have been expecting their appearance ... wasn't realistic but still, they always wake you up in a bit of a fog and panic. Bloody brain!

Sending strength, willpower and hope to all.

Day 45 here.

P.S
Quote I read this morning;
' You aren't quitting anything.You are changing everything '.

Growing boys - heheh re: the morphine, and YES fingers crossed that question is asked. How smug will you feel - and I hope they look suitably impressed. I was just thinking that the other day that I can't wait for a healthcare professional to ask me how many units a week I drink.

Rupert - fuggedaboudit. We are all gonna have good days and bad days doing this, and it's nice to be able to support and give something back, whilst in the middle of a good day. What a brilliant decision that was yesterday, and how amazing does a lovely clear head feel.

Stilldum - that yoga nidra sounds absolutely blissful. I just had a walk on the moors today, and was totally soaking up the signs of spring. I love the recognition of the 'pause' bit before spring has properly sprung. Thinking of it in that way helps to not wanting to rush it forward - there is loveliness to be soaked up here and now.

Shingle - I love that author too. Read both her books but not her actual blog so will enjoy having a look at that.

Got a house party thing this weekend and I'm trying to decide on my 'line' about not drinking. Options are to accept a G n T but squirrel it away somewhere and not actually drink it. Or to say I'm just off it at the moment after a boozy December and January. Or something else. I want to get much father into an AF life before settling how I handle others. I do think it causes a definite reaction in some people if you say you've given up - sometimes a defensive one. Therefore am thinking of just trying to slide it under the table for now.

Love that quote Howls

My positive is that I’m absolutely miserable but not turning to alcohol. Plus I’m on day 9 of a keto diet which is making me feel awful, but I’m not even tempted to drink. It wouldn’t solve anything. Day 35 AF.

thanks for this thread, it's full of useful info. as I have a family member related to this, it was really informative to read

Day 37 here! Hi all 👋🏻 not been tempted for the last few days and the next 7 days are taken Care of as I'm antibiotics (the only one you really really can't drink alcohol with). This would have filled me with dread previously and I probably would have filled my boots today and started the course tomorrow but as it is as soon as I got the prescription I took one because I don't drink anyway now 👍

Well done to all for keeping going!!

Hello everyone, trying to keep up with thread but been so busy with work!

Day 42, and asides from feeling a bit tired, I'm generally ok.

Promise to catch up properly tomorrow, sending solidarity to you all..

Shingle thanks for the blog recommendation, very useful to have some quit lit open on my phone alongside this thread.

Day 36 for me. The days are ticking by more quickly now.

Hello everyone! I'm really struggling to find the time to keep up with the thread (too many plates in the air at home/work, I'm sure you can all relate).

I don't want to duck out totally, because you are all so amazing and supportive and I love reading how strong we all are, but I may have to post a bit less, if that's ok?

I haven't fallen off the AF bus, just need to sit at the back for bit!

Of course House. We're here whenever you pop back in.

Urgh. Feeling a strong pull to get smashed tonight. Friday night was peak boozing time - DH usually not back from work til 9 and I'm home alone. Tonight he's in for a quick tea then out with friends after.

Feeling flat and low. DH been grumpy with work these last few days, which has been a common occurrence the whole time I've known him. It inevitably rubs off on me, but now I don't have booze to help through it. Does anyone else's mood go low as soon as their partners' is? How do you counteract that, whilst still being sympathetic??

Just been to Marks and Sparks to stock up on treat food for tonight, and hopefully that will help me through it. Along with a film to loose myself in. Gulp.

@HouseTornado, just use the thread in the way that works best for you, as a tool to support your AF life. I post every day because I promised myself I'd do it as part of my masterplan, but nobody has any obligation to!

We'll see you when we see you 😘

Thanks, Dry and Peaches - you are all so wonderful.

See you when we see you @housetornado - thankyou for all you've given me on our journey so far, and it will always be nice to see you around. it is hard to keep up, I agree, and I think we all understand that the most important thing for everyone is their own journey and we all need different support at different times.
@PamelaPeaches your M&S plan sounds good -Friday nights can be hard, I empathise. you can do this! play the tape forward to going to bed sober?

Hello all. @HouseTornado I totally get it - we all have so much going on. I bet it's half the reason most of us drank!

Day 57 but as I woke up in a hospital today I'm not really in a drinking mood. Nice to get home and DH had tidied up and even put some flowers beside my bed (not practical but he is a man so nice try) and bought me Good Housekeeping which is my guilty pleasure (I usually like to think I project an image slightly more glam than GH).

I'm reading Clare Pooley's novel, The Authenticity Project, and while I doubt it'll win any literary awards, it's a nice cheery book that's easy to read, if anyone's in the market for that

Also watching The Stranger on Netflix - anyone else? Think I'm up to the end of the third episode. Slightly tall tales but good fun nonetheless.

We're going to have a tricky weekend as one child has SEN and usually prefers dealing with me but I am woozy from the anaesthetic so poor DH will have to juggle everything. Roll on Monday when they'll all head to school and work and I can lie in bed watching telly all day!

OK - unfortunately, after just shy of two weeks dry, I am now 3 beers down. I broke.

I'm stopping now. That has actually never been my problem. its NOT starting that has been the problem.

I need to re-assess when sober, in the morning. I will not hate myself. I will not hate myself. I will not hate myself. Alcohol is addictive. I will use this as a learning curve.

I felt so so sad earlier. Was at a social thing and I couldn't muster up one single thing to say to those around me. Sadder than I have felt in quite some time. The pull was too strong. How the hell do you long timersrs do it. No wonder I was feeling so positive previously - I just hadn't had a proper 'test' yet...

@PamelaPeaches
Well done for stopping now and not wanting to persecute yourself.
Tomorrow is going to be amazing day 1. I’ve had many day ones and they have got me to where I am now - many on this thread have this experience and it is part of the journey. In having these days af you’ve already made some great steps in the journey. Come back in the morning won’t you?

I will x

I'm not going to discount the days I already have under my belt. Just need to process this with a fresh head.

@PamelaPeaches there's a lot to unlearn when you stop drinking. It took me quite a while (many months as I recall) before I was comfortable in social situations where others were drinking.

One step back, two forward.

Oh Peaches don't berate yourself. We've all done it. You were feeling low to begin with and alcohol is a highly addictive drug.

Just have something nice to eat and a bath and go to bed and start again tomorrow. We all know what you're going through and you still have nearly two weeks AF to be proud of and build on next time.