Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

hobbit something up thread that stayed with me yesterday when I was feeling tempted was that a craving only lasts 7 minutes. Try sucking a boiled sweet, drinking 2 glasses of water or brushing your teeth as ways to get through that 7 mins. (Or write a post on here!)

Also consider a HALT. (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) As these all make us more vulnerable. (I use Thirsty as the T as quite often I’ve gotten dehydrated and literally need a drink.. of water!)

Failing these, try ‘playing it forward’. Imagine how you will feel the next morning/in the middle of the night. Read any previous posts or journal entries you wrote hungover. Remember the taste in your mouth, the thump of your head.. the fear...

Finally treat the craving as a gremlin / wine witch / monster. Personify it and then tell it to fuck off! (Suffocate in sugar if need be!). To quote Labirynth.. You have no power over me!!

Vagmons. The drinkaware app calculates your alcohol intake in burgers and runs if that appeals to you?

Hello to everyone.. day 9 here.. nearly back to double figures!

boots perhaps think of it as day 29-1? That way you might be less tempted to drink again whilst your ‘number’ is low? (This is how my sneaky brain works!)

Get well soon poorly people. xxxx

Hobbit - when I felt the cravings starting I bought a Kindle Paperwhite. As a reward and gift to me. To use in all the extra clear headed time I have.

Sounds a bit odd but I think a few of us did. The kindle suits me as the person I feel I am now, iyswim.

I smile inside every time I pick it up.

And it’s waterproof so I can read it in the bath

We’re soon going to need a new thread

Thank you, drybird, for starting this, it is really helping lots of people.

I just realised I haven’t had a craving in days. Fantastic.

Evening all, and welcome back to Boots, kudos to you for getting back on the wagon right away.

I'm 30 days sober today and feeling it's the end of the beginning. So looking forward to a time when I don't think about alcohol at all. My next goal is 100 days, just to have something to aim for but I'm fully intending to be alcohol free permanently.

Oh yes, we will need a new thread soon! Super 😊 I'm really delighted that so many people have joined it, and that there are regulars.

Just hoping on to catch up, will post properly tmrw.

Bath was gorgeous, presentation was fine and I'm still AF.

See you all in the morning.

Holding strong since last Friday. It really did show me I don’t need it. Was well and truly tested today mind with dd. But alcohol wouldn’t have helped.

Yes thank you @Drybird2020 it has definitely helped me.

Hello everyone - sorry if I miss anyone out when catching up.

Boots - don't self-destruct, just count it in and move on.

I hope everyone else is doing ok and yes - a new thread, Dry - amazing!

The reward idea is great, I like how happy and motivated it makes everyone feel.

StillDum - kids! My DS is nagging and nagging about something and I'm on the edge some days! As you say, drinking won't help that, it'll just numb it, and the nagging/problem will still be there the next day!

I'm also more confident than ever that I will stay AF and that this is the way it is. Bath was the big test, and it was ok, I really didn't feel the need. It's not over yet - I think the 100 day milestone will cement it, fully, but for now I feel ok.

Have lovely days everyone. WFH and my monthly reward is today - a discount facial!

adding to the thanks to @Drybird2020
this is a suggestion - others may not like it. When the new thread starts shall we do a role call of posters and days AF? the thread has proved so popular and it's nice to keep track of who is who and where they are maybe?

That's a great idea, Shingle - I can't belive how quickly the AF days are adding up - in the past the days between drinking used to drag!

But if others don't want to, it could just be optional?

I agree Shingle and House, it would be great to see who is around and how everyone is getting on. How about I do a generic OP when the time comes, and then people can choose to check in with their stats if they want to?

Awesome, Dry - thank you.

How's the writing going, btw?

House thanks for asking! I'm not managing as much as I'd want to but am completely obsessed with it and do some whenever I get the opportunity. I sent the first three chapters to an exacting friend and her teenage daughter to have a look, and let DH have a read for the first time which felt like a big step. And when my other friend was here at the weekend she wanted to know the premise and liked what I told her (I think genuinely!) so now it feels like something that exists other than in my head, IYSWIM.

Hi everyone, I haven't checked in for a few days as I've had a monster headache so I've been trying to rest to avoid a full blown migraine.
Today is day 30 for me - I find myself thinking more about drinking the closer I get to the end of January. I keep having these conversations with myself about how I have reset my drinking habits and surely I can stick to moderate drinking. This is why I think taking it one day at a time is so important.
Welcome to the new folk - I hope this thread helps you as much as it has me.

metoo something I took from the Catherine Gray book (the unexpected joy of being sober) is that 30 days is not enough to reset neural pathways that have been established over decades. So of course you will still be thinking about drinking. But the general consensus is that the first 30 days are the hardest; we've got them under our belt, let's keep going!

Thanks @Drybird2020, my head knows this but my addiction is wicked

Morning all! Yes to a new thread and role call.. kind of make me more accountable which is a good thing.

I've been hit with the mother of all colds.. i genuinely feel like I've been run over this morning!! I'd very much like to go back to bed but have a whole list of jobs and work emails so big girl pants on / paracetamol and black coffee for me.

Day 30 today.. like many others have mentioned the thoughts of dry January ending and having a drink are creeping in. I really really don't want that so I'm trying to re-focus on 100 days..

Interestingly I've not lost a bloody pound in weight!! Lol has anyone else had a scale victory?

What ever you are up to today, have a wonderful Thursday xx

Sorry about the cold, Dotty - don't overdo it if you can help it, but always easier said than done!

I've lost half a stone, but only since starting low-carb a couple of weeks ago. I'm doing to to keep the carb/sugar monster at bay (I WFH a lot and pasta is my weakness). It's not for everyone, but it's working for me.

I'm also going beyone Dry Jan, so you're not alone. Same for you, metoo - hope you are holding on.

Dry - oooo, that's very brave of you! I HATE sharing my work with people (but I have no choice, stupid PhD rules), but getting feedback is always really motivating! And it sounds like you are doing brilliantly, so big gold star for you!

Spelling not my strong point today.....

Lunch time check in from me.. I’m back to double figures.. whoop whoop! Roll call and number count fine with me.. I want to tot up how many dry days I managed in Jan as it’s def over 20 which is substantially more than Dec!

No weight loss here due to the mountains of cake and chocolate. I’ve discovered caramel nibbles... oh dear!

Hello guys, good to see you all still AF.

Dotty me too!! I’d usually have a hot toddy but obviously that’s out of the window. Hope you start feeling better soon.

What flare you guys telling people about giving up drinking?

I’ve been asked twice this week about drinks and meals out yet I know every one will be drinking plus I’ve got a girls holiday in the summer so I’ll be the boring one wanting to turn in early. I actually don’t know weather to cancel as it’s free drinks on the plane and at hotel and at the ladies nights we will be going to 🙈

I have to give up drinking as I’m a serious liability when I’ve started and probably getting worse tbh.

Are* not flare!

Stircrazy - I say do whatver gets you through the night! Well done on those double figures.

Windywendy1 I've made no big announcements (obvs DP knows), just casually mentioned it here and there that I'm not drinking at the moment as I have 'such a big work year'. Which is true! No one seems to care - why should they, I guess.

When is the summer holiday you have planned?

Evening all.
I've been lurking for the whole time the thread has been going and am on day 31 today.

It's been a breeze really so far, the odd minor temptation but today the craving was so strong! I very nearly ducked into Tesco on the way home but... I resisted, played it forward in my head and am now at home, planning to eat all the carbs and hunker down with tea and some TV.

Thanks for the thread- I've found it so useful reading everyone's posts and on the back of my mind I knew I would need this thread when I wobbled- so thanks for being here!

Hello kfc - well done on 31 days! And double well done on surviving the wobble.