Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

Hi Drybird2020, I too would like to stop completely and have posted on a couple of other threads over the last couple of months. The most I can manage it seems is a couple of days AF until I persuade myself that just one glass of wine will be fine ( it never is 'just' one glass though ).
I enjoy a good witter so I'm happy to join you if you like!

Just wanted to say Good Luck!

I started 2019 with an aim of cutting down and had maybe 3/4 drinks between March and July. I haven’t had a single drink since a Pimms back in July, and just navigated my first Christmas season without drinking. It’s been tough at times (fancied a Bucks Fizz on Christmas Day), but generally okay.

I’ll be trying to make this year alcohol-free too.

I am planning to stop for the whole year too. Drinking isn't out of control but has been over recommended levels for months now and I know I am better off stopping completely. Cutting down requires huge levels of willpower even after a drink, no alcohol at all is easier.

This is encouraging! Company!

@Nomorewine77, that's me. I mange a dry Monday and Tuesday and by Wednesday I mange to reassure myself that a drink on Wednesday will be acceptable, moderate and reasonable. It never is.

@Notopel, that's a very dry 2018, considering your aim was to cut down, very impressive. Did you find that your occasional drinks made it hard to keep focused or were you OK with it?

@testing987654321 I'm done with applying willpower, it's exhausting and I need the energy for other aspects of my life. I've found in the past that the first few days alcohol free can feel like something is missing, the first Friday night is a bit flat, and after that I'm OK. But by around week three I start to feel cocky and like "there obviously isn't a problem or I wouldn't to stop for so long, so easily. So I might as well have a single civilised drink..."
Obviously this logic is flawed.

I don't know about anyone else but I feel as though I'm kind of getting somewhere, although lately I've been drinking more on a single evening and have had the worst hangovers in the last 4/5 months than before simply because I'm here ( and on other threads periodically ) and I'm constantly thinking of being AF permanently as opposed to never thinking of being AF. It's as though I'm waiting for something to 'click' the 'penny to drop' and finally that will be it, I will be alcohol free.

I'll join! I'm 7 days in. Feel better physically and mentally already.
Moderated drinking worked up to a point and then I had to bite the bullet and let go of that moderation, it was an excuse to carry on self medicating.
This is a long time coming for me.

Sending strength to you all!

Hi, can I join you? Just had enough, as you say, of the constant negotiating with myself. Loving the first glass of wine and then not enjoying the next 3 and feeling like death in the morning.

Need to get back into some nice soft alternatives 😊

I would like to join you all. I have a party to go to this weekend but then that’s me. I’m telling myself I will start with 100days AF, because it’s too overwhelming to think I won’t ever drink again. I’m hoping I have the courage and determination to keep going. I a lousy moderator. Good luck everyone!

Ive just done a year. You just get used to not drinking. It becomes the norm. It takes a few weeks to rewire the brain do you don't miss it. I read the naked mind. It totally made sense.

waves to everyone
@nitgel that's what I needed to hear, both about your year (wonderful) , and the reminder about This Naked Mind, which I will now find for my kindle. I did the 30 Day alcohol experiment but only got to about day 25, both times I did it. Partly I got complacent, and partly I allowed myself to be persuaded by someone close to me that I had done so well, it obviously wasn't a real problem for me, and I could just relax for a special occasion...

The day after tomorrow is when the new phase of my life starts. I'm excited, because I know I can do it, and I like a challenge. And I have feelings of trepidation because I am going to need to face the reasons for my overdrinking and that's going to be hard.

But by around week three I start to feel cocky and like "there obviously isn't a problem or I wouldn't to stop for so long, so easily.

That's why committing to a longer time makes so much sense, I know 4-6 weeks would just be a pause for me, you need a lot longer to break a habit. And as this year has shown, being around another drinker makes it an easy habit to get back into.

Hi all, I'd like to join you please. Work up today with yet another debilitating hangover - 2 days after the last one. Makes me feel so anxious, depressed, paranoid and worthless. Impacts my ability to be a good mum and to concentrate on my job. Like another poster, I do dry Monday and Tuesday every week but then the wheels come off as the week goes on, and I have no off switch. Because of that I think giving up completely is the only option left if I am not to fuck yo my life completely. Scary but exciting to look forward to a clear head every day....

I've just finished the Jason Vale book (having been awake since 3.30 thanks to alcohol induced insomnia) which has helped me to conclude that yesterday was my last day of drinking.

It also helped that I had some whiskey last night, I absolutely hate the stuff but someone gave me an expensive bottle as a gift so I felt pressure to have one and it was as vile as expected, and a helpful illustration for me of how ridiculous the whole concept and culture around alcohol really is. I didn't want it, I didn't enjoy it, but yet I feel the need to drink it, which is how I've been feeling about booze in general, for a long time.

So I won't be drinking today, as I had planned, and the excellent side effect is that I will be able to drive home after the bells instead of walking miles in the cold!

So Happy Hogmanay to everyone, and especially to those eschewing alcohol, or partaking for the last time, or building up to the right time to stop, or querying their relationship with alcohol, see you in 2020, I'll be here.

Joining too. Looking forward to not beating myself up every week about drinking amd to losing some of this doughnut around my tummy, and more energy. Im likely losing my job in 2020- writing’s on the wall for my business- so need clarity and optimism and strength. Let’s do this!

This is my first sober NYE in 6 yrs!

I did a lot of reading and 'research' in my first few days of being sober, I recommend watching the Adrian Chiles programme 'Drinkers like Me' and also an old BBC docu called 'Rain in my heart' - not an easy watch but essential viewing for heavy drinkers (60 unit a week here).

Tonic and Carbonated water has been a lifesaver for me of an evening.

I'm planning on a early night snugged up with a good book. Wishing everyone a calm and sober NYE.

I'm joining you all, I really do need to stop completely. Sometimes I can have two glasses and be perfectly fine, others I drink a whole bottle and don't remember what I've said..! I'm ashamed and my
Head is a mess, the wine is not helping my situation and the time has come to stop altogether. My H drinks nightly and I've tried to persuade him to quit but I know he won't .. i mustn't let this kick me off track!! 🤗 to all, let's do this

I'd like to join too - I'm stopping tomorrow

Would like to join too please.
A few messy hangovers and one blackout on Christmas Eve where I fell and hit my head... But don't remember... It's been preying on me for a while I need to cut down but cutting down isn't working.
Happy sober hogmany!

Hi all, I would love to join too. Moderate drinking only ever works for a short while. Time to knock this habit on the head. I'm currently reading Jason Vale - Kick The Drink Easily. It's making sense to me.

Can I join too please? After yet another crappy nights sleep I really know I need to stop. I 45 and I feel like complete rubbish. I accept that I simply can't do moderation - if it's open I will keep going until it's empty. I need to stop.

Hello, please can I join too? So many familiar stories on here which resonate.

I've been wanting to stop all year, but always find an excuse. I bumped into a friend who I've not seen for a while (a heavy drinker), and she's been AF for 14 months now, and she said she's never been happier.

I'm ready for it to be hard, but I'm more than ready to be free of drinking. I have a life changing year ahead, and need to be firing on all cylinders if I'm to succeed.

This is Day 4 for me AF, with no plans for tonight, just an early bed and a good book.

Start as you mean to go on.... Big glass of fizzy appletiser. Cheers!

I'll join you. I'm going alcohol free for 2020. I'm sick of waking up every morning promising myself that I won't drink again and by 4pm giving myself permission for one more.

I only have an issue with wine but need to give up altogether in case I decide gin is the new wine or something.

I think since my holiday in August I have drunk 1.5 bottles of white wine every single night. I've given up easily lots of times in the past but get a month in, fancy a glass and think I can have only one. I can't, it just leads into another 3 month spiral.

I blackout every night, can't remember getting to bed but never have a hangover and appear quite lucid. I need to lose weight but instead of ditching the alcohol just lurch from one messed up diet to another.

I'm done. Hopefully I can help support you all too.

Elzbells - you have described me too. One continuous loop of not drinking/then feeling better/so drinking as a reward...on and and on it goes. Finding any excuse to reward myself. Diet and exercise out of the window, never feeling able to quite get back on top of everything.

I am coming up to an incredibly important phase of my life this year (think major qualification) - I want to achieve the highest grade, and if I keep drinking, I won't. There are so many people supporting me to get to this point. I can't let them down. And I won't get a second chance.

I'll be here if you will.

What resources are people using, btw? I keep reading about Annie Grace. Any good?

I've downloaded Annie Grace but I'm just going to take it one day at a time, small steps. And will be on here talking.

I feel so much better when I'm not drinking. I take care of myself and the house and children 100% better, I have more energy, I love life more and wonder why I ever drank anyway. Then something pulls me back in.

My first goal is 6 weeks, apparently that's how long it takes to break a habit.