Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

Thank you, @lovelovelove2, it gives me great joy when the long term sober pop up on the thread to offer encouragement! I'm looking forward to the first month being out of the way, then my next goal is 100 days, then the magical 6 months when it will all feel real, I hope.

Thank you, lovelove!

Well done on resisting temptation dotty.

I am meh again today. Overwhelming feeling of “can’t be arsed” - job, life, family, not drinking, the whole lot can do one.

Why am I such a misery, why am I so tired and why can’t I stop eating?

I have a bunch of inflammatory/ auto immune conditions, and had to stop taking steroids a few weeks ago, that I had been on for months, and I’m wondering if I’m now in a flare. But not drinking should help, isn’t alcohol super inflammatory??

Meh, meh meh! Hope everyone else is cheerier than miserable me.

Hi all, lovely to catch up with you all on here!
Some great progress from everyone and Vagimons - I had a horrible outbreak of chin spots in week 2 - now I am day 25 and I feel I am finally starting to look better! I am making a big effort to drink more water in the daytime. On my way home from work I bought some sugar free Fanta, ginger beer and cream soda for exciting evening drinks. Later I will have to wean myself off the soft drinks and crap that is in sugar free stuff but for now they feel like a real treat so I am going with it.
Finding the Alcohol experiment emails and videos really great - I look forward to getting them - about to watch today’s video.

You’re all doing brilliantly- well done everyone 😁

@SophoclesTheFox I'm sorry to hear you've had another dreary day. Why am I such a misery, why am I so tired and why can’t I stop eating? sounds like me with Pms, but maybe that's not it... I wonder if you've awarded yourself any extra vitamins? There was a bit of chat about B vitamins earlier in the thread, and I've read in a few places that they're particularly important for people giving up booze. I'm having Berocca every day but I'm going to get one of those fancy spray vitamin thingys when I get paid, as an upgrade.
Hope you have a lovely restful sleep 😴

Hi all - 30 days sober.

I'm having a meh time of it too healthwise menopausal symptoms have hit me like a tonne of bricks over the last few days.
I can only fathom that my alcohol intake was covering up symptoms and doing a good job for pain relief?

No interest in boozing so something positive to focus in on when feeling like shit.

Arse!

Boots that's a good point about vitamins. I started taking B12 a few weeks ago: no idea if it's making a massive difference, but it can't hurt.

Sophocles - I hope you're ok. Do whatever you need to do to cheer yourself up, just don't drink!

Howl 30 days! Well done! You sound like you need a treat too.

Morning everyone. I'm still here day 23.

Full of cold and feeling meh too. Grumpy, irritable, a bit unsettled about things and I can't put my finger on it. I'm finding it hard to see the joy in things.

Still waiting for the pink clouds Clare Pooley talks about to appear and those little thoughts have been creeping in - this month has been easy, of course you'll be able to moderate, when you do x and y it'd be sooo lovely to have a glass of this or that. Chitter chatter. Pooley calls it the wine witch and she's bloody well moved in with me.

Things will get better I know. I'm off to get a good multi vitamin today. Has anyone else experienced this flatness since going AF - it doesn't help that it's winter of course!

Thankfully haven’t had a period since 2015, drybird, so deffo not that but that’s a really good point about the b vits, will pop into Holland and Barrett on way home from work.

30 days, howl, that is immense! Well done you!

Thanks house, I went to bed at 8 last night and had a solid 9 hour sleep, and feel a bit better this morning.

I’m doing the Alcohol Experiment, too, trees, am finding it helpful to have that structure. Most of it really hits the mark, though there were a couple of days that I felt didn’t really apply to me.

I was thinking about what the structure will be when I finish the 30 days. I thought about One Year No Beer 100 day challenge, but then read a coup,e of reviews that put me off. I would like some accountability and purpose - as well as this thread, obviously which has both!

Definitely with you on the flat feeling, aprilfool. I can’t figure out if it’s any worse than January normally is though - possibly not. January is pretty much always a dreary wasteland!

Oh god, last night I was mourning alcohol like it was a dearly departed friend. Even listening to sad music and reminiscing about the good times we had, then getting a bit weepy imagining my future without it. Might start wearing all black now I'm a wine widow!!

Day 5 and more spots! Thank you for letting me know I am not alone with this outbreak. I thought my skin would appreciate warm water with lemon and green tea but clearly prefers Prosecco 😆

Wishing you all
A terrific Thursday

Has anyone else experienced this flatness since going AF

I think it's the fact that you have got used to numbing your feelings with alcohol. I think that's where the flatness comes from for me. I find I have to work through that feeling and do things instead. It's not easy but it does get better.

Actually I ended up on anti depressants before but then I guess I was partly using the wine to numb feelings of unhappiness.

Good morning,
Day 27. Catching up, alot of us seem to be feeling down and/or anxious, and wondering how about how much the menopause is in the mix, how much alcohol has been masking our feelings. I"m find it really hard to stay in reality all the time. Now my body has caught up, I"m finding I need less sleep, but also that I wake up feeling really anxious in a new way. I'm telling myself it's good to stay with the feelings.
Let's hope that pink cloud is up ahead ...

Hmm, the flat feeling, I know what you all mean.

I'm so used to rewarding myself with a Friday night glass two bottles of wine that it's hard to find such a quick, easy fix, isn't it? Once that you can do whilst watching the kids, making the dinner, tidying up.

I've been keeping busy with work, jigsaws, and I've booked a facial (I am SO not a facial type of person) for when I get back from a conference next week. Plus, food only goes so far (and I don't want to swap one bad habit with another).

I don't know what the answer is. I had thought I was per-meni, now I'm not sure, because some of those symptoms have gone.

Maybe we need a new hobby, or taking up an old one!

Hello all,

I get the flat feeling - I've been chasing that buzz from running, but appear to have run too much as I suspect I either have a stress fracture in my foot or have just really bruised it. ARGH! I hate being in my 40s - there's always another bloody thing.

Also I have a few spots which is very annoying as I have been living like a fucking monk for the past 41 days. A monk who eats loads of sweets, but still. I wonder if it's peri menopause or something as I have never ever had spots in my life and do not want them NOW! Agree with @halfthesunwho said their skin obviously favours booze - mine too!

I am feeling generally happier though. Especially in the mornings. It's such a relief if I do wake up tired to think oh well, it's nothing a coffee and a chocolate croissant won't cure.

Day 42 and no noticeable changes beyond a generally lifted mood and spots. Someone said to me I had lost weight but my trousers feel the same.

Funny re: facial @HouseTornado - I am wondering about booking a nice massage if I reach 100 days . The one I want is £130 so I'll have to earn it. Also not a treatment person, but needs must!

Also I wanted to say THANK YOU to the PPs who drop in to say how they've been long-term AF and are so happy about it.

SO inspirational!

Hi all

A quick check in whilst I’m having lunch. Day 3 here and feeling shattered but no motivation to drink whatsoever which is positive!

For those coming up to 4 weeks it’s worth doing some reading around PAWS. It’s still quite early but I’ve read that some folks can suffer quite early on and it’s a big tripper upper.. if there is one good thing to say it’s that it means your brain is rewiring and healing.. those pink clouds are around somewhere!

Here are a couple of quick links.. (there are probably better ones but I found it interesting these said it could start as early as 4 weeks.) Its amazing how similar to PMS /peri menopause it sounds, and hardly surprising people relapse.

www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm
www.rehabs.com/blog/paws-round-two-in-the-withdrawal-fight/

Enjoy your afternoons. x

Oh me too... Its been a flat old month and I've wondered if PAWS had arrived early for me, thanks for that @Stircrazyschoolmum. And sophocles I have the similar thoughts about it feeling a bit too easy, and I worry that I'll suddenly be hit by how difficult it really is and won't be able to cope. I resolved yesterday not to worry and just deal with things as they arise rather than speculating about future events I can't predict, but my brain needs more training in the correct way of thinking!
I'm also going to embrace the Pollyanna perspective and play the glad game. So today I am glad I managed to get up at 5.30 and had an hour to myself during which I drafted a chapter of the book I am writing.

Anyone else want to play?

Do it, Growingboys! Esp if you are a runner, it's practically medicinal.

Ooo, Dry what are you writing?

I like the glad game! Today I am glad I cleared my (work) in-box.

House it's a YA novel I have been brewing for a long time and only started writing in the Autumn. It was one of the catalysts for kicking the drink as I realised I could do it if I had a clear head and got up early. That's the only time I can do it what with work and kids. It's given me something else to think about, I don't have brain space for it and booze at the same time.

@TeachesOfPeaches "Oh god, last night I was mourning alcohol like it was a dearly departed friend. Even listening to sad music and reminiscing about the good times we had, then getting a bit weepy imagining my future without it" that friend was an abusive arse and we have gone NC because we were sick of their shit.

@Growingboys I'm not a treatment person either but went and got my nails done on a whim - I've never done it before and now I have nice nails and feel very grown up!

How very exciting, Drybird!

Are you writing it and then try and see if a publisher is interested (or already have one)? Or just writing for the love of it (I know, odd choice of words!). Either way, I am seriously impressed!

I’m loving all your posts. Never heard of PAWS but think I might want to.

Cleared your inbox @HouseTornado? Bloody hell - I can’t imagine that. But I’ve had a bit of a reframe. I’m juggling a lot and I need some space.

Today I worked for 60 uninterrupted minutes. This is massive!

My mind is truly boggled at the thought of an empty inbox. I use mine as a very messy virtual filing cabinet, to mirror my very messy real life filing cabinets.

Tornado I haven't thought that far ahead beyond reading some of the advice on getting published and thinking "that looks like a lot of hard work". The aim is to finish it and then I'll see. I might just end up self publishing on kindle.

It's so reassuring to hear I'm not the only one feeling crappy.

I treated myself to a cleaner today and came home to a wonderfully clean smelling house and it was amazing.

Tomorrow I'm going to be actively more positive and smiley. I've felt so grumpy it's been such an effort to chat to people at work and in general. I think I just need to paste a smile on my face and make more of an effort as I'll have no friends left otherwise 😂

I love this thread - I check in every day to see how everyone's doing. Well done!

Just checking in. Day 18 here. Totally relating to the ‘feeling flat’ bit. But here’s a thought- isn’t it lovely lying in bed at night, about to fall asleep and feeling all pleased to have made it through another day AF? I’ve made no progress on losing weight/joining a gym/starting new stimulating hobbies but plenty of time for all that!