Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

Day 4 here. Thursdays are usually the night when I grab some wine on the way home. Feeling mightly chuffed i didn't. Might be harder tomorrow but am determined. Such a lovely post @lovelovelove2 so good to hear! Sorry lots of people are feeling flat.

Evening all.! Another one feeling a bit meh 😑 I've signed myself for a challenge so today was day 1 of walking and I have months ahead of me to get to the level I need to be at.. I did this to give me something to motivate me a little as the fun seems to have sucked out of me! Still AF but keep thinking what's the point .. I keep reminding myself of the sorry state I was in, one glass leads to a bottle blah blah. I WILL NOT press that self destruct button.

I'm day 31. A MONTH !!

Cravings are definately waning.

Day 23. I have menopausal rage and I’m sitting in the pub reading and drinking AF Warsteiner. Weirdly the pub keeps me sober because I would have to actually verbalise to order a drink so there’s this extra step for me to do. So far so good but Aaaarrrrrrrghhh

Day 25
Didn’t want to fall off the thread!

I have been really low and had no energy the last 2 days - feeling bleurgh. It's really hot here, reaching 35 the last few days and it's Australia Day long weekend coming up (I will NOT drink!!)

I'm glad I've reached day 24. And I'm glad I've been clear headed enough to enjoy the three books I've read this week . And I'm glad I managed not to drink when we went out for dinner the other night.

Well done to everyone

Hello lovely thread, very impressed with everyone being Pollyanna!
Haven't been on as I am struggling but a wee re read of the thread helps. Didn't want to bring everyone down
Away weekend away in the middle of nowhere (no shops!) With friends and normally it's a blackout affair. My bag is packed.. with vodka. I am in the brain space of if I need it I have it. I can do moderating... I can't tho. I'm close to taking it out the bag but keep thinking oh just in case.
Thanks thread. Without this I wouldn't think twice and would pack another.

Day six and date night, he doesn't drink but I normally have a couple of glasses before we meet and one when together..,.will stay strong as are the spots on my chin

I hear you on the menopausal rage still

Thought I had everything under control on that front, but the hrt shortage meant I had to change brand of patches a few weeks ago, and I really think this one doesn’t work as well for me somehow. Saw every hour last night, and was emailing myself a work to-do list at 2am to try to get it out of my head so I could stop panicking and sleep it didn’t work.

Got up finally at 5.30 and went for a run, which helped me reset a bit and find my energy, along with a fuckton of coffee!

spongeface, I am rubbish at this lark because I’ve barely scratched the surface of facing my own demons, but I really hope that you can find a way to stay dry. Whatever it is that’s wrong, drinking won’t make it better. Sending you bosomy hugs.

Day 23. No plans to drink and nothing that will blow me off course, so far.

@Spongeface- visualise how you will feel at the end of the weekend, AF, strong, proud. Focus on that feeling!

Day 5. All good here. No plans to drink today. I am hosting a party tomorrow but have lots of people to keep me on track and feeling strong (and the spots are calming down...)

@Spongeface despite the Pollyanna absolutely everything is welcome here. You don’t have to worry about bringing us down. If it were all plain sailing this thread wouldn’t exist.

I’ve used alcohol to numb and hide from my feelings of my controlling ex essentially taking my children from me. It’s been heartbreaking and very long. I didn’t drink when I had the kids. I am a proper mum and it’s unfair. But when these things happen now (and they keep happening- he is now planning to move away with them) I do think alcohol really won’t help me deal with this.

I wouldn’t be able to have the vodka in the case. Perhaps you need to accept you are going to have a different weekend than usual and a different weekend than your friends- but you came on this thread for a reason. Whatever happens, keep posting.

Good luck to those who are socialising with drinkers this coming weekend.

I hope you stay determined and dry.

I always think that the drinking 'bliss' lasts about 30 minutes - the first sipped drink and feeling the alcoholic glow kicking in, it feels like liquid gold - after that it pretty much goes to shit, you are always chasing that first buzz and never getting it. What you do get is the bullshit you. Loud, talking bollocks, emotional and a good chance of being a hot mess within a few hours spinning off to bed and blacking out into crap sleep ... cue waking up at 3/4/5am and dreading the day ahead.

Is it worth it?

@StillDumDeDumming - I have a story very similar. I get the pain and why it was numbed .

@howlsmovingcastle - it’s unbelievably easy for people to take your kids - I never thought it would happen to me.

I’m going to the vagina museum today and excitingly Redemption alcohol free bar tomorrow- I shall report back.

Thank you so much everyone. Glad to have you all. Thank you
Sorry for the tough times everyone is going through so much.
Thank you for the words of encouragement... Gold half hour sounds correct. Will stop and stock up on fake bloody Mary's and af beer.
Thank you all so much for sharing.

I was always threatened with it @Still and it was carried out after the divorce, parental alienation is a cruel and lonely path. I get you.

Vagina museum? I've been to the Penis museum (zzz) vagina's are a bit more productive and a darn sight stronger! Enjoy your weekend.

Morning all, no judgement from me @Spongeface if it's one slip up so be it. Just try to rewind and think about why we all came to this group in the first place. That's what I keep telling myself when the demon drink pings into my mind 'one won't hurt' yes it bloody will and I'll be back in that slippery slope in no time. Breaking the habit is hard for sure .. the weekends do tend to be worse.

I'm another meno mad woman .. on HRT patches which surprise surprise are out of stock everywhere! I decided to go down the private route and bought them online (I did speak to the GP about this). You can get them at a price .. and that price is worth every penny of my sanity right now. Funny enough my husband foots the bill for fear of what might happen if he didn't lol.

Going to try and have a productive day today of working/form filling and bill paying..!

Happy Friday all xx

@StillDumDeDumming and @HowlsMovingBungalow that must be so unbelievably painful, I am so sorry. It has also made me wonder how many of us have been self medicating for PTSD in some form, it's very common.

@Spongeface I was going to urge you to leave the vodka behind but you had made the decision before I got there! 😊 I'm so glad, and proud of you (hope that doesn't come across as patronising).

I'm anxious today and constantly on the verge of tears. I woke at 4 and couldn't get back to sleep so I just got up and did things and overdid the coffee which hasn't helped.

But my Pollyanna point is going to have to be gratitude for my kids and that they are still little and sweet, and that I have them at all after many miscarriages and obstetric issues.

I hope everyone feels relaxed as the weekend approaches - all power to your vaginas!

@HowlsMovingBungalow - congratulations on 31 days. You inspire me - day 28 today.
Thankyou for sharing your painful stories how and stilldum. I agree with you @drybird - I reckon many of us have been self-medicating to take away emotional pain. - except it doesn’t. Me certainly and I’m not brave enough yet to be open here about that.
I’m right there with you this weekend @Spongeface - if you feel tempted, escape to the loo and post on this thread! That got me through Xmas day.
I keep feeling really anxious about undoing all this good work in a flash. I know from experience it only takes one moment of weakness and then I am back to drinking and it seems always to take mo this before I go down low enough to get myself into a pace where I’m ready for day 1 again. I don’t want another day 1 and I wish I felt more confident. This thread is my lifeboat at the moment. Thanks everyone.

Sober group squeeze for all!

@Ontheshingle - You have got this - 3 more sober sleeps and you are here with me!

@Drybird2020 - Sorry to hear you are tearful, not to sound cliche but 'This too shall pass' ... A early snuggled up night sounds like it is needed .

@dottydolly72 - Are most HRT patches hard to get hold of? Am due to see my GP next week about hopefully being diagnosed with Meno and getting a hrt patch script (had a early hysterectomy so can't take the dual HRT) am fretting about being brushed off yet again. Meh!

Have a good day all

@HowlsMovingBungalow there is some good information here:

thebms.org.uk/2019/11/british-menopause-society-further-update-on-hrt-supply-shortages-26-november-2019/

Thanks @dottydolly72!

Can I join? My idea was to do dry January, then I had notions of doing dry 2020 as I was doing so well. Week 3 started to get really hard and then it was my grandads funeral on Tuesday and I broke at the wake. Feeling really annoyed with myself - I had gone the longest without alcohol in my adult life aside from when I was pregnant with my daughter in 2018/early 19.

Me and DP were drinking every Wednesday and Saturday, but very heavily and I feel incredibly ashamed. I have severe anxiety and depression and medicated with alcohol. I don't want my children growing up watching me and DP drinking like we do and thinking it's normal. I also want to be around for as long as possible for my kids.

@halfthesun in Brighton too - I'm really struggling when the sun comes out.

You are welcome here @rosieposies.

Have a read of the thread, lots of insights, links to reading lit and docus. Day one?

Thankyou @HowlsMovingBungalow, it's day 3 now, I'm hoping Tuesday will be my only blip 🤞🏻 I'm sure there will be many highs and lows though