Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

So this it.. day 1 AF I'm actually looking forward to it! Happy New Year all May you days be filled will water and AF loveliness.

Hi everyone, I'm new to mumsnet and definitely need to stop completely.
Cutting down has never been an option for me unfortunately 😥
I've had more rock bottoms than I care to mention.
I need to do his for me 💯 and then my husband and kids who I love so much, my husband has been my rock but since before Christmas I have been back drinking sneakily behind everyone's back. Even my mum has been saying how proud she is of me 😥

I’ll have been 2 years sober next month.
It’s honestly the best (but not the easiest at times) thing I ever did.

I'm in ladies 😁♥️ I'm going to rtft in a little while but just place marking. A fresh start is much needed and long overdue....lets do this!

I'm in too!

What is everyone going to be drinking? I've also committed to giving up pepsi max (I drink a minimum of 2 litres a day) so I'm treating myself to some nice fevertree tonics, adding bitters and grapefruit/lemon squash. Once I get the first week out of the way I'll go for just squash. I've found lots of ice and using a big gin glass in the evenings really helps for some reason!

Thanks for the book tip, DryBird and hello to everyone else who has joined.

Maddie these sorts of posts make me sure I am doing the right thing. Well done on two years!

Mydarlingder - I have a bin liner under the bed full of clothes for the charity shop. I also know there are 3 empty wine bottles in there which I drank before Christmas and then hid. So, I understand how you feel. We can all help each other through this.

We have just had a lovely walk along the beach, DS is now gaming with DP and I'm doing some work and eating chocolate. But I will not have a drink.

Is anyone telling others of their plans? I'm staying quiet for now, just whilst I work my way through the first few weeks...DP knows I've gone AF, and whilst I think he suspects my past drinking habits, has never said anything. But I think he was getting close to.

I'm just telling everyone I'm doing dry january to detox after Christmas excess. I'm not ready to talk about it with the wider world. My husband knows the extent of the issue and the changes are more conquering an addiction than just a detox. He's a sporty type who has the odd few so hes happy to see me facing my demons and is doing it with me. One day at a time ♥️

Joining too. Slightly different issue for me than some others, in that I am fine not drinking at home. But when I go out I get carried away and end up with an awful hangover. Like others I manage to moderate for a while, but then get over confident and drink too much again. So giving up completely it is! I did 3 months before and it was fine, so not sure why I went back really. I found the Alan Carr book to be really good. Good luck all; 2020 is going to be our year!

Salty that's great. Are you interested in exercising at all, sounds like you have a ready made personal trainer!

I feel the same re telling people - I'm just going to hide under the Dry Jan excuse then keep going - then I'll just say I liked feeling AF so want to keep it going. I also have the excuse of a big qualification this year to focus on.

Hello everyone, count me in too, please. I work in a school and find I binge at weekends (go through 3-4 bottles of white). However school holidays are terrible for me, and my drinking increases horribly as I know I don't have to get up early for work. Last night I sunk two bottles no problem, and have been drinking pretty much a bottle (or more) a night since breaking up before Christmas.

I had a horrible experience on 13th December. Had a night out (rare - I usually drink at home), came home blotto and woke up at the bottom of the stairs. I have vague recollections of falling. I've been suffering ever since (whiplash) and had to go to A&E on the Sunday as I was in so much pain. I can't get away from the fact that I could so easily have died, and one of my children could have found me.

I'm just over halfway through This Naked Mind which is excellent and I'm fully commited to Dry January, although I honestly think I need to totally quit as moderating just doesn't work for me.

The Try Dry app is on my phone, I have plans for the evenings (going to relearn crochet!) and there is a really supportive Facebook group that I've also joined. Good luck to all of us and congrats to those on here that have this sober life sorted!

@Saltypotato, that's my plan too. There's nothing remarkable about doing Dry January so I'm going to be on that bandwagon and then not get off. I've mentioned to a couple of family members that I am planning to do a year of sobriety, and they were sceptical so I'm leaving the conversation about a lifetime AF for now. It gives me a bit of breathing space to consider how I want to approach it with the wider world. I wish people didn't see going alcohol free as such a massive and negative thing. Of course, it is a massive thing for me and my life, but I'd rather be able to do it without the comment and judgement that is undoubtedly going to be coming my way!

@shakennotstirred I work termtime only, too. It has been very bad for me to have so many days of the year when I could get pissed without worrying about work the next day.

I wish you all well. I am 9 months sans grog and its the best thing I ever did. I found that audible quit lit worked better than paperbacks. Alcohol Lied to me completely changed the way I see alcohol.
I'm in a Facebook group called the Unexpected joy of being sober. Its a private group. If anyone wants to join you'd be most welcome.

Hello all, please can I join? I'm on day 20 AF but hoping to make it a long-term thing.

I don't drink that much, and can moderate myself usually but I spend a LOT of time/thought making sure I moderate myself, and I'm exhausted of that. I think it's easier to quit totally. Also about once every year or two I go out and the wheels come off - last happened 21 days ago and I spent the whole of the next day being sick and thinking I was going to die. Pathetic.

Also now I'm mid 40s I get HORRENDOUS hangovers from even, say, three glasses of wine. Totally disrupted sleep from just one or two drinks, and then knackered all of the next day. It's not worth it.

I have loved the Clare Pooley book and also MN has been very helpful. The Fbk groups seem a bit full on so am not sure I'll carry on with them.

What works for me is fizzy elderflower. I haven't tried AF drinks yet - not sure if I really want to, tbh.

Good luck all, looking forward to doing this with you!

I’m not planning on telling anyone but am going to say I’m doing dry January and go from there. @Northernsoullover I also found the book alcohol lied to me an excellent read
Best of luck everyone!

I’d like to join please. Feeling good today after just a couple of drinks last night. All bottles tucked away in loft. DH has agreed to Dry jan with me but I’m really thinking I should quit altogether.
I’m unsure whether I’ll manage this to be honest. I tried over the summer to be moderate but always end up overdoing it. I’ve managed about 3 weeks dry but then inevitably crumble on a Friday night after a hard week at work. I’m managing with a child with adhd and it’s so hard and stressful, as well as full time job. I’ve relied on wine to help me deal with the stress. All it does is make me irritable the morning after. Wishing everyone lots of luck for the coming year.

@HouseTornado I'm hoping to get more into fitness this year. I left a very active job for a desk based one last year and have really piled on the lbs.
That said I am going gently on myself for the first week with pampering baths and tea and biscuits if I fancy it 😁

Raising a glass of fevertree aromatic tonic with grapefruit juice, tons of ice and slices of lime to us all. I have to say, this is actually the nicest drink I've had all Christmas. I feel calmer just knowing I'm not drinking. Calmer but nervous I think.

Well done to all those further along in the journey and a big hand hold for anyone struggling. Just keep thinking "If not now, when?" It's lovely to be doing this with company ♥️

Hi there, this time last year I was quietly putting away 3-4 bottles of wine a weekend. I’m separated and the weekends the kids were at their dad’s were like ‘lost weekends.’ Then I might add in the weekends the kids were with me but only after bedtime. I would only open a bottle after 9/10pm, which meant I was up until 1am, permanently exhausted, possibly driving over the limit, and feeling wretched.

I dropped hints to friends that I was over-doing it, and wasn’t really heard. Nobody was going to intervene so I realised I had to stop. Funnily, my epiphany was on the epiphany 6th January, so I am 360 days sober today. I got drunk and confided in a friend of a friend, and she became my text-buddy. I went cold turkey, and downloaded an app - I find counting the days very motivating. I also follow Jack Monroe on Twitter. I had zero until the end of November, and I had five glasses of wine (three separate occasions) in December. I’m resetting the dial today.

The one downside is that it is an absolute buzz-killer for other people, and I have often found myself in conversations where the other parties get really defensive about their own patterns, which I truly have no opinion on. I just know I was on the slide into oblivion, and I felt ashamed.

Hello everyone. I'm starting with Dry January but may continue from there. I've had a terrible relationship with alcohol since my teens. I drink to overcome shyness. I've done some terrible things drunk. I rarely drink during the week but binge a couple of times a month at the weekend. White wine is my vice. Last night I downed about 4 large glasses. I then ate a chinese takeaway and then promptly vomited. My eldest has been talking all day about not wanting to catch my bug I feel.awful. I have completely wasted today and something needs to change.

It’s interesting that no one wants to hear you when you say you feel like you’re drinking too much. I agree with the previous poster that It’s like it shines a spot light on everyone else’s drinking habits. It’s like so many people drink too much and are in complete denial.
I also drink to help me with my shyness Bigbop, but at my age I feel like there really should be a better way.
It’s worse if I drink when I’m stressed. I drank so much at my work do and ended up flirting outrageously with a colleague. I just can’t allow myself to do that again!

I need to stop too. AF today, have somehow ended up drinking a good c.60 units per week over the last year. More over Xmas. Need to stop for health and sanity. But the evenings are so long....!

I'm stopping. Day 1 tomorrow.

I'm in a few fb groups. My drinking is out of control. 1 -2 bottles of wine a day. Feel shit and can't afford it . Cost me my relationship. Now living alone . I need to do this for me now.

Another shy person here who has used drink to hide behind those feelings. Not sure how we're going to overcome that!

And yes, dealing with other people's feelings about our drinking...I'm quite worried about how I'm going to handle that as I'm a total people pleaser!

Hello to all new folks. Hope everyone has had a good day.

Another early night for me!

I am also joining - only way forward is total abstinence for me now. DH is supportive. Any suggestions on how to get through the next few days gratefully received!