Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

It's so great to read about so many of you that have made it AF for longer than one month. I did Dry January last year and was really astonished that I managed it, unfortunately this meant I thought I could manage my drinking and then predictably sank straight back into old drinking habits almost immediately. Just shows me that I also need to stop completely as moderation is not possible for my addictive personality.

Made it through the first night, had an early night with a cup of tea and a book.
Coincidentally, I was listening to one of my regular podcasts on the dog walk this morning and Clare Pooley (The Sober Diaries) was on - worth a listen as she articulates so well some of the issues behind the drinking culture - it's on the Modern Mann podcast here: www.modernmann.co.uk (I'm not sure how to do a clicky link).

@ProfessorPollington Last year I did (most of) dry Jan. I usually drink every evening. I found the key was a big gin glass (feels more luxurious) lots of ice, flavoured posh cordials and diet tonic. I didn't panic about my diet and allowed myself to have crisps with it if I wanted. Or have a nice hot choc with a bar of choc. I used nice Christmas smellies, allowed myself early nights to read, put the nice bedding on beds, planned nicer dinners etc. It's surprising when you stop supping alcohol all eve how much time you free up. Using it to 'treat' myself made it feel less of a sacrifice. That and repeating that I'm not giving anything up, I'm taking my self esteem, self belief and health back. It's mine and I want it.

I'm having another g(free)&t this eve after a long soak, body moisturise and face pack. Doubt I'd have the energy for the extras if I was having a few this eve.

I hope you find your thing 😊

Re: the shyness. That was a big factor in the reason I drank. At least in the beginning. However I have realised since being sober that its absolutely fine to be shy! I'm not gregarious and that is ok. I don't enjoy parties where the purpose is just getting pissed but luckily at my age they are few and far between. Most social occasions I go to now will involve food. I find I'm much happier at home now with a good book.

I’m going to join as well. I drink far too much, it’s affecting my bank balance, my liver and I am bloated and overweight.

My triggers are boredom and stress, especially when I have a bad day in work.
Looking forward to getting some support here.

I steadfastly avoided ‘substitutes’ such as tonic-only or alcohol-free beers. I felt they were too similar to my mind/taste-buds in the early days, when I needed to change my habits, not just the contents of the glass.

I softened on that after a few months but then started buying crisps and peanuts to go with, so the pounds piled on

Also joining as need to get my health back and also de stress which alcohol doesn't help with.

Out of interest what do you all drink on an evening instead?

Peppermint tea.

I'm going with tonic and different cordials. The feeling that I'm still 'having a drink' makes it easier for me. Or tea as I don't usually drink it so tea and biscuits is a treat 😁

Good morning!

Even though I am STILL full of cold I am starting to have the best sleep...I really was in denial about how much drinking was affecting that.

I like AF beer in the evening, even though I never drank beer before. I'm not a big fan of cordial.

Morning, I can totally relate to so many of the posts on here. I love the idea of giving up alcohol. It has become such a habit to have a glass of wine of an evening and I think I probably drank every day in December! I wake up feeling low and anxious which just isn't me at all. I'm going to join you ladies in giving up the bottle! Although the thought is daunting I'm looking forward to a better quality of life!

Morning all.! Up bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning. Always a nice feeling, not the usual 'hit by a bus' look I sometimes resemble. Day one complete 🤩

Dotty me too!

Hello, Cornish - lots of support here!

Day 6 AF for me now, so almost one week done.

Morning all some really inspiring stories here. I need to join this group I have an awful relationship with alcohol and am so annoyed with myself I quit last year for 4 months and it was the best thing I could have done.

For some reason I thought I could have 1 or 2 wrong! I am not up to the level I was last year or sneaking and hiding drinks but it is affecting me again. I don't sleep well I have put all that weight back on I look puffy and have lost all my confidence.

I highly recommend Alan Carr it's was stopped me last time so will stop me again (I hope). Thanks for starting this thread it's perfect timing.

Have a lovely sober day all.

Good morning @HouseTornado hope the cold is getting better. I substituted my usual wine with a cold glass of Pepsi Max. Looked like red wine almost.. H also went wine free last night but I have a feeling he'll only do a day or two. Going to try hard to get him to do more.. but I'm determined he won't break me!

Kids still off school so it's good to have a clear head and a early start. One thing I hate about drinking is waking in the night constantly!! Then usually giving up around 5/6 because your head is banging and you feel like you've had very little sleep.. awful feeling.

He's to a bright refreshing day.

Morning all. I had a lovely deep sleep last night which I really needed! I’ve been suffering with low mood and anxiety these last two weeks as well as awful pmt. drinking nearly every day has compounded the problems. I’m going to try and focus on the healthy clear headed feeling a have right now. Have a great day everyone. I’m looking forward to my evening tonight drinking green tea/cream soda and reading the Naked Mind book which I started yesterday.

All the recommendations here are really great, thanks everyone. I’d like to stop. I don’t drink huge volumes but I do drink about 5 nights a week. I’ve put on a lot of weight and also feel puffy and tired all the time. I’d rather join this thread than a DJ one because like many of you I don’t know if DJ is enough. I remember through both my pregnancies that I didn’t want to slip back into old ways but it inevitably happened. Good luck to all, I will start by reading some of the books people have linked.

By the way I’ve chosen this username because I envisage waking with my head feeling as cool and clear as a lovely blue Lakeland tarn one day!

Morning all.

I've hit double figures - day 10 - which is the longest I have achieved in 5/6 years maybe more, shocking!

Sleep is lovely and deep and I am not drenched in sweat every sodding night.
The wine 'face' seems to be buggering off too - not so bloated and ruddy.

Glad there are a good few us to support one another on this thread, it is comforting to know that we aren't alone in this.

A day at a time.

Thanks @saltypotato that really does help. I think my diet is going to get a rest too. One day in and I actually slept pretty well last night (by my usual standards which are terrible). DH got me in some Becks blue which I would never normally touch but found I quite liked. I'd love the puffy red face to disappear... I suspect that is going to take some time.

I would like to join. I have found myself drinking most nights, maybe just one or 2 but I don't really enjoy it and have no idea why I do it.

I feel the same - I’m much happier when I’m not drinking

I'll join I've been looking for a completely dry thread. Hit my rock bottom on new years eve. Today is day 2 for me, yesterday was such a dark awful day, feeling much better after a full night of uninterrupted sleep last night (I usually wake up in the middle of the night with the most horrendous feeling of guilt and panic after drinking and lie awake for hours) so excited to this new part of my life.

Hello everyone and huge well done to those waking up with clear heads! I could get used to feeling this clear and focused, every day.

I'll check in again a bit later....but I did pick up Alan Carr's book from the library. Not the one I wanted to start with but I'm planning on reading everything!

I woke up feeling terrible today, but because its the first day of my period and nothing to do with alcohol. I also had a late night last night which I really enjoyed, we had dinner with local friends and when I realised we had forgotten the Cards Against Humanity, I DROVE HOME quickly to fetch them! I didn't miss drinking at all. We still have New Year's guests so have just had another huge lunch. I had a Becks Blue, I like it and I don't like sweet drinks, and it doesn't make me miss alcohol so I feel that it's OK to have sometimes, although I know Jason Vale doesn't agree.

It's great to see so many new names on the thread, sorry for not name checking everyone but I am looking forward to a year of AF chat. I intend to check in regularly to keep myself accountable, so apologies in advance for inconsequential piffle.

First day today of waking up without that groggy feeling. I don't feel great though as I slept so badly. I always take a day or 2 to get into a good sleeping pattern when I stop drinking but then start feeling better very quickly.

For those of you that like the books and naked mind etc I thought I would mention that there is a Facebook group called Club Soda Alcohol Free. Nothing to do with me but when I cut down before I joined the group and it was really supportive and lots of good tips etc.

Im keen to stay away from the literature etc this time though, apart from staying accountable to this group as I find the more I read/see/think about alcohol the harder it is to try and erase it from my lifestyle. Thought it may be of interest to some of you though.