Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

Morning all and well done to all of you. I’m on day 6, DH is doing it too (he’s starting with Dry Jan but last time I went AF for a year he also very significantly cut down). I have been feeling so exhausted and achy but today I have woken up feeling a bit fresher so hopefully I’m on the up! Have a good day today everyone- I’m back to work and back into routine. We’ve bought some new water bottles and fancy fruity things to put them in to encourage more water drinking in the family. Off to mainline coffee now - one vice at a time

Has anyone tried three spirit drinks. I use them quite a lot because I don’t really like juice or pop. They have a slight buzz from the natural ingredients but it is nothing like the taxing or addictive qualities of booze. Seems expensive but it’s not bad value for money. I like social elixir and nightcap. They really need to do trial sizes.

Well done on day 6 AF Trees!

I haven't tried any of the fancy AF drinks - I have wanted to try Seedlip but the price of it? I'm fussy and would hate to buy a bottle and hate the stuff. I'm currently drinking FeverTree of an evening as it is sharp but I'm thinking of ditching it as I don't want to keep buying bottles of that too.

I don't like hot drinks in the evening either so probably just going to drink more fizzy water.

Morning all. I agree about waking up feeling groggy I feel like I have got a hangover but, when I went af for 4 months previously I started to feel better at about 2 weeks.

Once you get that refreshed relaxed feeling it is amazing, I felt I could really look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed. My story is much the same as everyone in here, I am a married mother of two and work in a very responsible job.

The benefits of going AF are endless, the sleep, skin glowing, weight loss and no beer fear waking up at 2am wracked with guilt and sweat. I don't know why I let it all go, oh no I do I thought I could just have one. My mental health was hugely improved too.

We can do this, fwiw seedlip is very nice but it's too pricey.

@stilldumsedumming I'm really interested/curious about the Three Spirit as well. Sound good but so expensive. But then my SoberTime app tells me I've saved £480 in 76 days so perhaps I should splash out. I really like the turmeric ginger zinger mocktail in Sober Starts Today. That's got Seedlip in it. By having one "special" drink in the evening I feel like I have marked that divide between work and relax, and after that I just do herbal teas.
For everyone who is feeling rubbish today, you'll soon feel better. I found day 5 the absolute worst then everything started to improve massively. Well done everyone! Just take it one day at a time.

Me! (Sorry, just placemarking for now as no time to go in to detail).

Morning everyone - well done to those sticking with it and finding your way through.

Thanks for the encouraging positives, Rupert - I am exhausted today, but it's because I STILL have a cold. It's also one week today for me AF, and that feels amazing.

I also weighed myself this morning - 2 pounds off! Without even trying. Once I feel 100% I'm going to really get to grips with my diet and exercise - I eat healthily but too much, and I swim, but not often often enough. All because of wine and not having the motivation.

How I have an app too - it's really sobering (boom, boom) to see the money I'm saving. More than enough for a monthly facial, is what I'm planning....

I haven't slèpt all night. I have tossed and turned and sweated. I really cant remember ever having such a shocking night. Last night was night 2, night one I managed 4 hours or so so I thought I'd have a long, deep sleep last night.

Has anyone else had problems sleeping? Is this normal?

@dottydolly72 well done with the self distraction! I'm hoping that a cleaner house might be one of the incidental blessings of sobriety for me.
I've been enjoying Clare Pooley's visualisations of shooting the wine witch with bursts of fire from her tits, could this work for you? I'm going to have a go at positive visualisation, I've got an active imagination and it has worked for me in other contexts, @TarnBlue I meant to say how much I like the idea behind your name change, for this reason!
@ineedtostop I think I saw you on another thread when I was lurking and researching, very, very well done on your excellent progress. You'll be at 100 days before we know it!
It's great to hear from people at different stages of the journey, and I'm sending waves and positive vibes to the new joiners. Its a bit tricky to check back on my phone so apologies for the lack of name checks. I read the thread through every day and it's a tremendous help already.
Have a great day, everyone! 😊

@Saltypotato from what I have read it seems that insomnia can be an issue for some at first. I'm the opposite in that I have been sleeping well when allowed to, but I've been up with the kids,, and my own killing period pains a lot in the night and have the foggy groggy feeling as a result. Can you get outside today, even just a lunchtime walk? Or proper exercise if you can manage it.

May I join in, please? I haven’t had a drink since NYE so... about two days! I’m such an all or nothing person and I think a long stretch of drinking nothing would do me good.

@HouseTornado congrats on a sober week! I downloaded the app too, thanks for the suggestion. Also, great news about the weight loss. I can't bear to think of how much I've put on, it's 7 pounds since the start of December and I was already a stone over before that. But I'm doing Veganuary so that prevents cheese munching and consumption of the kids' Haribo so hopefully there will be an improvement soon... Hope your cold. Is on the way out.

Thanks, DryBird.

The cold is not budging, but it's a blessing in disguise as it's holding the wine cravings at bay!

Hello, I'm interested in a proper sober thread, the 'Dry' one that already exists has become a moderation thread. I can see how it happens, because we struggle so not complaining, but still glad to see this.

I was sober for almost 9 months until last summer when I decided it would be silly not to drink wine with DH on holiday in France. I didn't really enjoy the wine, truth be told, but it still led to four months of back to drinking most nights, feeling tired, snappy and shit and thinking about drinking ALL THE TIME. I stopped again early December, I'm under no illusion that I can moderate. I'm pissed off with myself for drinking after so long because otherwise I could be here posting that I've been sober for over a year now. Hopefully it's a lesson I'll learn.

Day 3 for me today. Really early days but my sleep has improved drastically, enjoying waking up naturally instead of waking at 4am with a Bolt and lying awake with 'the fear'

I've been drinking gallons of tea but last night enjoyed tescos flavoured sparkling water, it's only 45p a bottle and is so refreshing.

Have a good day everyone

drybird2020 thanks... the final trigger for me was the fact that DS and DIL are expecting their first baby - and my first grandchild - any day from now. I want to be the kind of person who can always be relied on to be there, safe and sober, for them and the new little one. I never drank when my own children were small, but various tragedies in recent years got me hitting the wine. I literally have to stop because I am determined not to let them or myself down.

@TarnBlue I think that's a good idea... It's only a mile away but would still give an excuse. Ok. Don't finish work til 8 it's been a long few shifts I would love to just cancel at this stage!

@Saltypotato thanks so much that's my resolve strengthened. I will go after work, drive and look forward to a lovely special breakfast Saturday morning... With no queesy feeling and a fresh head... Maybe even a wee lie in that is on purpose! Remembering last time helps.... Was in such a state the next day... Drinking doubles with a shot at the bar to 'catch up' because I was an hour later... An hour! We went to view a house the next day and I had to hold back the vom. I'm a grown ass woman! I should be able to go one night.

What do non-drinkers do on Friday evenings? Answers on a postcard...

Last night I lit a fire, put my feet up and watched crap telly, then had a bath and went to bed with a new Christmas book. Hot chocolate/herbal tea, and fuck loads of Ferrero Rocher.

@Drybird2020 well done sounds like you are going well! Totally would have fallen to the wine last night without this thread.

Teaches - same as the rest of week - watch crap on tv, Netflix , read , clean , go to bed early ... rock and roll!

I've been watching Dracula on BBC1 so will be watching the last episode tonight.

Saturday night will be tough for me as DP is working and usually I use my alone time to drink until bedtime. I will have to find something to get stuck into ...

We are planning on letting our eldest daughter stay up late & play cluedo with some hot chocolate. My OH is also going dry.
Then lie on sofa & watch a movie with some snacks. Looking forward to wake up on a saturday hangover (and guilt) free.

This will be day 8 for me, discovering that you have SO MUCH TIME. Now, just need to decide what to do with it

@Spongeface Well done on the positivity. I suspect we are all going to have lots of new firsts to deal with and difficult bridges to cross. But that's part of the journey to freedom I guess?! My mum is quite ill at the moment so we are spending a lot of time at the hospital. The urge to come in, pour a drink and chill is very strong in the evening. I'm consoling myself that at any time of night I'm needed I can be there. Facing something hard without a glass in my hand/to look forward to afterwards is new! We've got this ♥️

@TeachesOfPeaches I'm going to have a long soak, beauty routine (I look worse than ever after 2 nights of not sleeping) pour a large (no)g&t and pick a netflix series to get into. And eat all the leftover Christmas nuts 😁