Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

Hello all. I had a minor wobble tonight as home alone with only the easiest child, so would be so nice to have a gin. But I didn't!

Drinking loads of squash and juice - must buy more sweets for the sweet craving that strikes after supper.

Day 35 here. Gone to bed already as it's so cold - settling in to Parks and Recreation with DS.

Nice one @HouseTornado !

And @Canadeeio so glad that tomorrow's happiness thing worked for you, too. It's the one thing I totally cling on to as it spells it out for me why I really don't want to drink.

I’m working my way through the Naked Mind podcasts too, winezero, there is so much great information and support there. Love it.

I watched that Adrian Chiles documentary “Drinkers Like Me” tonight (while I had a huge pizza binge, but let’s not go there!) Very interesting, and troubling. I was wincing as he started exploring the “well, I might drink, but at least...I don’t wake up in a doorway...have sherry for breakfast....so I’m not a that bad”. Who here hasn’t done that? I know I have . Talk about motivated reasoning!

Anyway, I think I may have hit a Pollyanna phase, I am irritatingly cheerful and possibly smug, 16 days with no booze and only feeling positive about it right now. You may slap me

Evening all.! I'm on the Pepsi Max again. Take away night here which is normally washed down with at least a bottle of wine. Weekend No.3 AF and feeling fine.

I love a G&T and have a huge selection but fevertree have glamourised their brand to go with Gin so I could never attempt it without 😂

I do love a good podcast when I'm working from home so shall look for the one mentioned sounds good!

Hi everyone, well done on making it through the week, especially those who had to pick themselves up after a slip up, or work hard to avoid one.
I've found that lidl do an inexpensive alcohol free lager that is even better than becks blue.

I like the HALT acronym and also the tomorrow's happiness thing.

I'm horrified by the projection of how much I'll save this year by not drinking (the trydry app furbished me with this information). No wonder I'm always skint!

Dp drank 3 lagers and a bottle or red tonight- I barely noticed. Which seems crazy. I know from experience not to be complacent though.

I’ve been on vocal zone tea. Trying to get my voice back.

Well done everyone. And if you didn’t manage it tonight consider it part of your experiment and learn from it. Keep posting

Made it to day 13 and crumbled tonight. Was doing the Annie Grace experiment, found it easy, got cocky and didn’t follow properly and here I am. Day 1 tomorrow then

Thought I was going to crumble .. that bloody jigsaw was a hard choice! Didn't notice it was called a 'really hard' jigsaw... So when my friend called me to ask me round I jumped at the chance... Wine bad takeaway? Yes but I'll drive. Just in now and it was fine. I didn't think I would be able to. Strangeness continues with taking my make up off and making a hot water bottle for bed.

@Dhugurrll don't be too hard on yourself, one day at a time x

Well done @Spongeface - that's so impressive! I love that feeling of getting in, taking your make up off and feeling SO PLEASED with yourself for managing it. It's great.

And remember everyone who give up successfully probably has a few false starts behind them @Dhugurrll - I've tried before and given up. It might happen this time but if it does I shall get back on it.

I woke up randomly at 5.30am today and. Becker our Ring video doorbell to see a man come in our gate at 2am and nick my son's bike, which I didn't know DH had unlocked for boring reasons. FURIOUS.

So my heart has been pounding with rage ever since and I've admitted defeat and made myself a cup of tea. Five hours' sleep on a day I could have had a lie in - argh!

*checked, not Becker 🙄

That thieving little robdog, growingboys am furious on your behalf! I hope the toerag falls off the bike into a ditch.

I didn’t sleep well last night for the first time since I’ve not been drinking. Woke up quite a few times through the night, worrying about stuff. I did think about how nice it is not to also have the guilts about drinking when I was awake though, so there’s that small upside.

Third weekend with no alcohol coming up! No plans to drink here, and fingers crossed, nothing happening that will make that a challenge.

@Dhugurrll well done for posting. These setbacks are all part of it. Keep going. It’s not Day 1 really.

I like sober end of night. Bit worried about next weekend. My fella’s 50th. We’re off to London and I know when it’s just the two of us he’ll miss me bit drinking with him. It does separate you a bit. I’ll feel guilty.

See if you can find places that do mocktails, as they look fancy it kind of fits in with someone who is drinking and a bit less as though you are denying yourself.

FFS Growiing I'd be livid too! So sorry for your DS too.

No way of tracing the bastard, I guess?

I'm just about to jump on a train but will catch up with you all later.

Aww, your poor DS @Growingboys! And absolutely infuriating too.

@Dhugurrll I failed to do the 30 day alcohol experiment a couple of times, I got cocky too. This time I feel like something has clicked in my head. I think the false starts are part of the process, or they were for me. I learned important things on each try, and this time I mean to make it stick and I feel that I can.

It's stunning weather here and we are going to the coast! Loving my clear head, no guilt, no worries about whether I am OK to drive.

Hi everyone. Grrrr on your behalf, growingboys.

Day 21 today, had a super productive morning;
Dropped the boys at football
Home, made bread, baked a cake, baked biscuits (spotting a carb theme here.....!)
Washed both cars
Done all the washing up

So I can relax and do something nice with the kids this pm in the sunshine.

What a change from loading about feeling a bit grim on Saturday mornings.

I am definitely a better parent without the wine. I feel like a better person. Less grumpy.
However, I am having to face things head on. There’s no numbness any more - my weight, jobs that I need to do, friends who weren’t really friends and real friends who I have drifted from - it all needs to be dealt with. I am having to be gentle with myself. Not to overload myself and instead of beating myself up for what I have done in the past, support myself with the present and future.

Alcohol proper sucks. I am looking at all of it - the adverts, the social expectations, the whole bloody thing through a different filter. It’s a bloody scandal!

Reading a thread yesterday from a mum on the edge drinking 3 bottles a day, 3 young kids, desperate to stop but feeling unable and blaming herself. Truly in the pitcher plant. I wanted to hug her, Tell her it’s not her, it’s an addictive chemical and we’re all in the pitcher plant.

So a reflective time for me. Hope you are all having equally good days.

Morning all
It’s a beautiful day to be sober in London and I am off away with just DH for the weekend. I’m not sure if he will drink but I’m feeling OK anyway.
I hear you @TreesSandSea about it being time to sort everything out now. Baby steps tho.

I’m day 17 now. Friday nights were always my night to have a bottle of wine to myself as a treat after a hard week at work. I just had decaf coffee instead. It was a bit boring but actually really nice to watch a film and be able to stay awake throughout. Also to go to bed feeling naturally tired rather then sozzled and groggy. The real test for me will be going out and special occasions like weddings. I’ve just finished The Naked Mind book so I’m hoping some of that is sinking in. The unexpected joy of being sober was better for me though.

Afternoon all! Beautiful day here! Sorry to here about the unwanted visitors @Growingboys that's crap!!

Started my day with a breach run with the dog then a trip to the hairdressers for highlights and cut/blow dry. The stylist (who I know well) was really shocked how different I looked 🤷‍♀️ apart from not drinking I've hated nothing. She didn't know beforehand as I've told no one so I assume she wasn't just being kind lol

What coast you heading for @Drybird2020 we have amazing blue skies here today. Cold but lovely outside now the wind has died down.

With the new hair I feel like I should be going out.. but I'm not! Turkey fajitas planned for dinner and trashy tv.. Have a 10 mile costal walk planned with friends

Ooh I went too soon (bit like my husband)

I shall finish my sentence..

Have a 10 mile coastal walk with friends planned tomorrow am. We are training for the moon walk..

I'll catch up properly later but....

....I did it! I met a friend for lunch and stayed AF! Not even AF beer! Soda and lime!

Couldn't agree more, Trees!

Do we all live by the coast????

Well done, Nicky!

Back from being frozen in the wintery sunshine at the beach! @dottydolly72 we are in the east of Scotland. I got my hair done too- and my nails during the week... Get me! It is helping to do things that make me look and feel better, while I patiently await the natural beauty boost and weight loss I've been hoping for.

@TreesSandSea yy to reflection and waking up to the enormous conspiracy of fake-joy that is alcohol. I'm emotionally up and down and I think it's because I am finally feeling my feelings instead of drowning them, they only would have resurfaced in the end, so this way is better, but it is hard.

I haven't been tempted to drink at all, but this is the honeymoon period and I haven't been tested by a social event.@HouseTornado congrats on your sober lunch!! @Nickynackienoo I'm keeping those two books in reserve for a couple of months further on, or when it gets tougher... Well done on reaching 17 days. 😊

Hope everyone has a fun, relaxing and easily alcohol free evening, especially @Ontheshingle living it up in London.

Sorry to hear about your thief growing
Well done on your sober lunch House!

Semi rural Devon here but close to the coast - we are off for a walk in nearby Dorset tomorrow - the sea air is cleansing and grounding I find.

DP is out on the razz tonight (yearly event for him). I'm on the tonic and looking forward to reading a new book on my todd and going to bed with a hot water bottle.

Weekends are getting easier for me. I look forward to feeling fresh and alert on Sunday mornings. It is all good.

Onwards and upwards! Day 26 nearly done.

Well done @house on the sober lunch! Must feel great!
@drybird2020 I'm north east Scotland waves
So I also got my hair done this week another coincidence!
Nothing day here, just what I need.