Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

Took the strength of 1000 suns not to buy a bottle on the way home this evening. When I felt the urge, I came here and then started listening to the Naked Mind podcast. Result is = chicken salad for dinner and sparkling g water. Just making a decaff coffee for a treat thanks to OP for this thread!

@TeachesOfPeaches that was very strong, well done! 😊 I'm finding the thread very helpful too, I haven't really spoken about quitting IRL, except to DH. I feel like all of that is ahead of me and I'm just getting through the first month, gathering resources for the future. Clare Pooley wrote about how the first bit is hardest and has a good analogy about an obstacle course, I'll try and find it. It also features bunnies which is a bit random 😁

This thread is a life line. I most certainly would have caved by now and ended up getting pissed today.

Is anybody watching Dead Water Falls? I can't work out if it's my hyper awareness or part of the plot, but there is so much drinking in it!

Awake here.
'D'P rolled in after 3am - after so called falling asleep outside somewhere, couldn't string a sentence together, could barely stand. I had to get him into bed petrified he is suffering from being out in the cold for god knows how long. He must've been drinking for 5 hours straight, hard spirits.

First time he has been soo fucking stupid with booze since I've been with him.

The irony of it all. Me being angry with alcohol and stupidity.

Oh no, howl, hope he is ok. How worrying.

Hope you're ok, Howl. He'll sleep it off.

@Drybird2020 I bought 3 sobriety books on amazon last night, I'm not giving up on giving up!

Morning! Another coastal sober poster here, North East, absolutely love where we live, I don't think I could manage inland, the sea and the space really is special.

Last night was my first real test, I was working alone in our cafe/bar and had a lot of friends and family in who were all drinking. It would have been very easy to have a drink with them but. I had a peroni alcohol free and then just stuck to water! The thought of actual alcohol really didn't appeal, it almost repulsed me in a way and I almost felt scared/worried about ever drinking again? It's only been 19 days so maybe that's a bit silly but just how I felt.

Grateful not to have a hangover, husband left to go away with work for the day/night at 6.45 and I have the children so I think a walk along the coast is planned!

Have a great dry day!

@HowlsMovingBungalow horrible to see isn’t it? Hopefully that’ll be him dry for a bit. My dp has drunk pretty moderately this weekend. He says he’s off it again now - I think he likes it.

I am leading a workshop today - just me on my tod. My throat is ok-ish but my nose is blocked now! I shall be channelling marg Simpson when I’m singing

Hello, just bought the naked mind and would so like to never to have another drink. Sadly alcohol killed my DF at 43 and my marriage. I can and will do this. Boyfriend is a PT and doesn't drink and friends are super supportive. Day 1 .... stay strong

Oh and I live by the sea near Brighton - coastal dwelling seems to be a theme!

Morning all. Day 38 here - if I make it through today, it'll be the longest I've ever gone as an adult without booze. 37 days is my record.

Today I'm meeting my mother in a pub for Sunday lunch. Happily she is bringing one of her friends too, so they can keep each other company drinking while I abstain.

I watched the Adrian Chiles programme today after some of you recommended it and it was fascinating. www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0bhkc8b
He clearly has a problem but won't address it. I've googled him as it was made in summer 2018 but it doesn't appear he has quit - at least, there is nothing online saying he has.

I am reading the Annie Grace book and it's excellent. Brainwashing me into seeing alcohol for the poison it is. Really recommend it.

Happy Sundays all - I'm in London and the sun is shining!

@TeachesOfPeaches well done for staying strong. Moments like that are surely cumulative and make you stronger.

@HowlsMovingBungalow I bet you're furious. Watching him suffering today will affirm what you are doing!

@HouseTornado agree re: this thread. It's what I think of when I'm wavering. I haven't heard of Dead Water Falls but it looks good - is it?

Day 7.2 for me today. I can't remember a Sunday where I have been up breakfasted showered and walked to the shops all by 10am.

Yesterday afternoon was difficult, in fact it was sat afternoon last week that made me reset my counter hence day 7.2.
This time I made the concerted effort that anything I needed from the shop could wait til this morning and I would treat myself to good coffee and the Sunday papers in the morning instead. So here I am with good coffee on the go and the Sunday papers to read

Non-alcoholic sparkling tea anyone?

@notdoingitanymore I get the Sunday Times delivered and it really feels like a treat to wake up with it on my doorstep!

I read that that was delicious @TeachesOfPeaches but assume it costs a fortune. I was in Fortnums last week buying tea bags and they had that stuff in the window - if I'd had more time I might have gone in search of a sample.

Hello everyone just checking in. Day 19 for me today, honestly cant believe it! Just booked a few nights away for next month and will find it truly testing but plan to bring lots of good books, board games to do with kids & nice snacks (wont bring playing cards as I associate card games with beer

Have had a voice in my head trying to negotiate with me "you cant go off it forever" "you can have a few on weekends only" "wont be a holiday without a nice wine in the evenings" but I am not giving in! Because I know I'm an all or nothing kind of girl and if I decide to have one night of drinking it will never be one night of drinking. Plus feeling clear headed, guilt free, proud and content is a much better feeling that a few hours of being 'buzzed' chatty and happy then followed by anxiety,, shame, dread etc

I feel the same, Boots. My life on the outside of a wine glass, rather than at the bottom, is infinitely better.

Growingboys - if you like a dark thriller, then yes! We watched the first 2 episodes and really liked them.

Hope everyone else is doing ok? We certainly love our beach walks don't we?!

Welcome @halfthesun it was a thread in here where a poster shared her story about her exH who died from drinking from a heart condition that was my wake up call - both my maternal GPs died from heart disease and so I am susceptible.

Day 30 here and I am feeling pretty good. I have been drinking sparkling fruit juice this weekend and continuing to eat all the food. It's Monday now here and a new week - I am going to try and moderate my food Intake this week.

We had family round for dinner again on Saturday. They were both drinking but I didn't miss it - in fact watching OH down the better part of two bottles and get louder and more obnoxious was quite an incentive to stay sober. We had a chat about sobriety and they expressed their fondness for a glass of wine and could not imagine giving up. They could not seem to understand that not everyone can moderate.

I can't believe this is week three!

Hello to new people and well done to everyone at whatever stage you're at.

Weekends are esp hard I know, so if like me you are in bed - enjoy the rest!

Day 24 for me though I had to check, I'm not really counting. I'll keep logging it on the app, for accountability.

A good thing: I've lost 5 pounds since going AF, so i do think it's starting to make a difference, not drinking! I'm also following low carb, but I've never lost much weight before on that. Scrapping the wine clearly key!

Hope the coming week is a calm one!

LOVE a dark thriller @HouseTornado - will add to my list, thank you!

Also love reading everyone's continued success. I had fizzy bloody elderflower for lunch then ordered the veggie option - a wild mushroom pie with creamed leeks - as it sounded delicious.

My mother looked at me in horror and said HAVE YOU GONE VEGAN AS WELL?

She was quite relieved when I said I had not. But I can feel my not drinking is mildly irritating. She had an friend there too who showed me her app that counted her steps.

I oohed and aahed, and then said it's a bit like my app which counts how many days I haven't drunk for, and got out my phone to show them and the pair of them (both 80s) practically shouted at me 'Oh god how boring, put it away'.

Anyway, I managed!

@HowlsMovingBungalow what an idiot he is. Not that I'm in a position to criticise drunken idiocy.

I'm very glad to hear all the positive weekend news. No coast for me today but we went up a hill with the DC for some stunning views.

I've eaten like a pig all weekend. Never mind, booze-free is this month's aim and I'll lay off the tunnocks tea cakes in February.

I'm about to turn in - early start tomorrow. Sweet Sunday night dreams to you all.

I am landlocked so had a nice walk along a canal today. Felt really tired yesterday, in bed before 9.30pm.

Not been tempted, I am very grateful when pubs serve coffee.