Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

Growingboys the fact that you didn't have a drink is amazing - esp after a hard day. Don't worry, it's still such early days yet. Well done!

I'm wondering if it's ok to have an AF beer whilst I finish writing a really hard paper...I still can't decide if AF beer is helping me or reminding me of the taste of alcohol....

Thank you @housetornado - I so nearly caved!

I have decided against AF drinks for now in case they make me crave it more. Fizzy bloody elderflower instead!

Hi this is my first complete week. This thread is really helpful. I woke up last night with peri menopausal sweats and feeling really really drunk! It was so odd.

I had a really stressful social worker meeting yesterday. I wasn’t the least tempted to drink though. I actually thought if I’m going to get through this shit I need to be sober.

I am sorry not to name check but each and every post is resonating with me...cutting the associations...feeling calmer and more present...knowing that alcohol appears to help but does not really...noticing the alcohol in others.

Believe it or not I am a yoga and yoga nidra teacher. (I know). Nidra is a effortless meditation and my teacher Nirlipta is a sleep specialist. I’m hopefully putting in a link to his recordings (I find they don’t play in low power mode on a phone). You lie in bed, get really comfy and basically drift off. Maybe give it a go (he’s not subliminally planting weird shit in your head by the way - he’s totally safe).

[https://www.yoganidranetwork.org/mp3/sleep-well-total-yoga-nidra]

Bugger can someone remind me how to do clicks links please?

I'm on my 4th day of giving up and mentally feel great about it. I have zero desire to drink. But I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. I'm quite headachy too. Is this normal? I assume it's the toxins coming out,?

Well done to everyone who’s managed to stay off the booze so far. I’m on day 9 and feeling ok so far. Got a nagging anxiety that I’m missing out though. Can’t seem to shake off the feeling that my life will just seem a bit flat without the booze. I’ve had a stressful week after a mega arguement with Dh at the weekend and I’m still quite angry about it all. Would be so easy to just have a drink but I know it just won’t help. One thing that might help is that I’m getting a newer car soon which I’ll be so excited to drive everywhere. Nothing flashy but after my old heap will be a bit of a treat 😁

Dont think I will ever be interested in AF beer or wine, I didnt particularly like the taste of either...just liked the effect so I'm more into tea atm, trying various herbal ones..my favorite so far is camomile & ginger.

Patsypie I've been absolutely exhausted every afternoon the past week but not too bad today. No headaches as yet.

Everyone is doing so well

Patsy I was really tired the first few days (still am, tbh), but no headaches. Hope you feel better soon.

Nicky I know exactly what you mean about missing out...I think I need to start listening to some pod casts (not had time to yet) to help me reset my thinking.

I know others have made some great suggesitons, so worth taking a look on earlier posts, that's what I need to do!

@Growingboys I am right here with you. Day 13 for me. Well done for reistinf the g and t. Try playing the tape forward: how would you feel going to bed if you’d had a drink? Or in the morning? You can do it.

I’ve read a few good books but no podcasts yet. Any recommendations? I’ve just been invited to a birthday party and I’m like to go but worried how it’ll be if I’m not drinking. It’s a new group of friends who will be drinking so I’m in two minds whether to opt out or go.

Day 13 for me too and I'm starting to
struggle.

Thank you @Ontheshingle that is really good advice. I shall try to remember that for next time. Well done you for very nearly a fortnight!

I think my real problem is I'm not sure if I want to give up for ever as I am really so very restrained 99pc of the time. I mourn the loss of the two glasses of wine Sunday lunches and that sort of thing.

Anyway I also want to stop being exhausted and start feeling energetic so need to focus on that! And maybe go back to the quit lit I abandoned in favour of reading about Meghan!

Re podcasts @Nickynackienoo I haven't found any that don't massively annoy me. Would love to hear if any that are good without being too preachy and dull!

Stay strong @ TeachesOfPeaches you can do this! Have dinner and a bath and a nice soft drink. Go to bed if it’s really bad, and read some quit-lit.
I’m only on AF day 4 here, catching up with the rest of you. I’m ok so far, helped by fact DH is doing part of the ride with me -until end of January anyway! Stay strong all. I’ve enjoyed the thread and garden too (in good weather !).

Growingboys, I feel the same about quitting for good, it’s a daunting prospect. Alcohol has been part of my whole adult life and I don’t know how to socialise without it.

@Growingboys and @Nickynackienoo I feel the same and find that just taking it one day at a time and not thinking any further than that helps.

I agree - I can’t think about not drinking again ever. But I can think about not drinking tonight. I’m looking forward to a sober weekend.

The Annie Grace reader question podcasts are good I find. They’re short and you can often find something that is relevant to you.

Another day done 😊
Well done, everyone.
I'm still very tired (I say that on here every day, I think). I fell asleep for a few minutes on the sofa this afternoon, while watching go-jetters with the DC. And I'm in bed now, full of tea-pigs sleepy tea which is my new crush. Its like drinking a flower bed full of chamomile and lavender. Sweet dreams 😴

Evening all, another AF day for me today. I'm feeling quite proud I have come this far..! I'm actually feeling pretty full of cold so in no mood to add to the effect with a fuzzy head in the morning. Interestingly I haven't given AF timescale much thought, for now I'm not drinking and that's good enough. I have not bought wine into the house all week much to my husbands disappointment! Yesterday he cracked open a bottle of bubbly left over from Christmas and tonight he's downed the last bottle of Prosecco.. I'm amused but also a little concerned he's not on the same page as me.

Weekend almost upon us, stay focused ladies 🙌

Well done us. Still smashing it, not smashed 😁😁😁
Is anyone else disappointed with their face? I kind of expected to look fresh and glowing but I am still looking like I've been trampled on 🙈 I looked better when I was drinking to be truthful...

At what point do people actually feel better? I'm on day 4 and have woken up feeling like shit with puffy eyes and a headache every morning since. My fingers are even puffy.
I'm drinking gallons of water, chamomile tea, eating ok.
I used to easy have a bottle of wine a night, plus a whiskey to round off. Someone please spread some motivation!

@iamyourequal thank you, I woke up naturally just before 6am after dreaming about a cold glass of dry white wine. Just the one glass - pathetic !

@whiskeyandice I'm on day 10 and woke up feeling ok this morning, still felt tired and could have slept longer (I had over 8 hours) but no headache and not feeling groggy.

I am having a wobble though and keep thinking about having a drink. I'm out at the cinema now so ok for now - will need distraction when I get home tonight though

Morning all! Thanks to DS I have been awake since 4.30am so thought I would check in. Salty, my face also looks awful - soooo tired, but the peace of having the constant inner dialogue about my next glass of wine silenced makes it worth it for me even if I still look like a hag.
Whiskey, give yourself a few more days. I also had headaches the first few days but now they have subsided. Drink lots of water and I expect the puffiness will go too.
Best of luck today everyone. I have a Pepsi Max and some lo cal tonic for later on, Friday I know is a tricky night. But stay strong! Playing it forward into another groggy Saturday morning hopefully will keep me on track tonight.

MeToo - thanks it's better to know I'm not feeling alone. I know what you mean, I'm giving myself all the "well it's the weekend now" excuses and I need to stay on track!!

Morning all.
Day 18 here so nearly there at 3 weeks ...
I am finding it a bumpy road mentally with all kinds of moods being felt but mainly feeling frustration and equally strength. Odd combination!
Physically I'm good - odd night sweat but I'm 43 and probably menopausal. Eating a shitload of sugary junk which isn't me at all but part and parcel of needing those 4,000+ missing empty wine calories.

Weather is rubbish here in Devon so not been able to do much walking but still doing some YouTube yoga for 30 mins a day ... can't say I feel the benefits of it yet.

Just thought I'd mention that a new book was released yesterday 'How to quit like a Woman by Holly Whittaker' it is £8 odd on Kindle/Googlebooks. I bought my copy this morning so will get stuck into that today, looking forward to something specifically aimed at women and their sobriety.

Wish you all well and another sober day awaits!