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Alcohol support

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Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

999 replies

Drybird2020 · 30/12/2019 03:30

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself. Smile

OP posts:
notdoingitanymore · 10/01/2020 07:23

7 days for me, I think this evening will be tough, last Friday was day 1 so was motivating the fear from the day before.
Fridays were always my biggest drinking night, as they are the toughest day of the week at work and 'it's the weekend'

I have a team out working a night shift locally tonight and o am considering going out with them til about 10pm is which is an easy way to avoid the association of Friday night drinks at home as I won't be at home.

Drybird2020 · 10/01/2020 08:51

Morning all. I had a wakeful night too, wide eyed from 3.30 and I was on the verge of getting up a couple of hours later when I dropped off. But even though it was annoying, it was such an improvement on the sweaty 3am self-loathing that I almost enjoyed it. I love having a kindle so I can read in the dark and not disturb DH, I'm enjoying The Girl on the Train which is serving as this week's quit lit!

Glad to see all the plans for a sober Friday night! I'm getting some Becks Blue and watching a film.

Day 11 for me. I'm still slightly headachey and I can't say I look any better, but I'm administering caffeine and cosmetics for that.

OP posts:
StillDumDeDumming · 10/01/2020 09:19

Excellent medicine Drybird.

I’m seeing Little Women with my mum tonight. Really looking forward to having a sober weekend.

One day at a time - bloody well done to all!

Saltypotato · 10/01/2020 09:42

Morning all, day 10 here! I have just got in from my usual 2 hour drive on a Friday morning. Previously I would begrudge it as I couldn't drink much night before. So, we all know how my Friday night would go! This morning I enjoyed it, watching the wildlife, taking in the views, listening to podcasts. This is a hard journey in some ways but so awakening in others. I feel so alive one minute and anxious the next.

Is everyone feeling ready for a sober weekend? I think I am as long as I don't allow myself to dwell on it or overthink the no drinking part!

Happy Friday all ♥️

Boots20 · 10/01/2020 09:45

@Drybird2020 if you enjoy the girl on the train I can recommend you more thriller books, I have a kindle too and it has been a godsend lately,, distracting me from alcohol I've been getting snuggled up with a big mug of tea and my kindle.

Day 10 for me today and I am honestly feeling amazing, I've had some family stress but find myself able to cope alot better with my new balanced frame of mind, alcohol would only drown out the stress temporarily then make it 100times worse the following day. I feel so balanced mentally and am so grateful for it.

Happy friday everyone, tonight's plan once kids are in bed is to make a big batch of cheesy nachos and pig out in front of the tv with my OH. Hope everyone has a great sober weekend

Drybird2020 · 10/01/2020 11:05

@Boots20 yes please to the thriller recommendations, I love a good thriller, they are how I learned to enjoy reading again after the drudge of an English degree, which I didn't much enjoy.

OP posts:
Boots20 · 10/01/2020 11:20

drybird2020 I reccomend 'into the darkest corner' by elizabeth Haynes and 'behind closed doors' by B A Paris, OCD trigger warning on the Elizabeth haynes one. Both are excellent.

Well done on reading girl on the train & staying dry! I remember she is an alcoholic, the movie is also very good Grin

Sally99 · 10/01/2020 12:39

I'm getting a bit anxious with the weekend looming. DP isn't hugely supportive because I'm not an "alcoholic" - i.e I don't brush my teeth with it.

He'll open a bottle of wine and I've got to resist.

HouseTornado · 10/01/2020 12:39

Happy Friday everyone.

Sounds like we were all up with the larks today! We'll be ready for bed by 8pm...

Can also relate to the Friday panic. I have AF beer and a new jigsaw, hoping that takes my mind of it.

I'm re-reading Wolf Hall, in readiness for her new book in a few months. But I also really like a good thriller.

Well done on everyone, all doing so very well.

TreesSandSea · 10/01/2020 12:43

Thanks to this thread I have just treated myself to a new Kindle Paperwhite with the money I am saving from not buying wine Grin
I am ridiculously excited about it.
I feel different, like I am rediscovering myself and the things I enjoy. Does anyone else feel the same? I feel more present, calmer. I am reading more, genuinely enjoying the company of my lovely DCs, seeing beauty and joy in things. Feels awesome.

Hope you all have restful evenings x

HouseTornado · 10/01/2020 13:21

Trees I feel exactly the same way! Like more myself than i have done for years.

My son asked me to play a complicated game at 7am this morning, and normally I'd make an excuse. Today I sat down for 20 mins and we played!

Quite a nice change, I thought.

Spongeface · 10/01/2020 13:59

Well done on the looming weekend. I had a good plan for doing flat stuff tomorrow if prep for selling.... Now DP has to work and Saturday is wide open all alone. Sigh. Appletiser added to tonight's food order.
I am enjoying you all reading! I must try to get back into it too.
Aiming for my first £100 saving treat is keeping me going. A kindle white good idea I was going to go for a new coffee portable mug.
Smashing it!

TeachesOfPeaches · 10/01/2020 16:05

I bought a bullet journal and some pens to give me something to focus on (like the thrillers and jigsaws upthread) but they are still sat unopened. Has anyone tried bullet journaling before?

aprilfoolsbaby · 10/01/2020 17:06

With the money I've saved I've bought a tonne of topsoil 😂 for my garden project.

Keep it up everyone and if you waiver tonight just think about how delicious you'll feel in the morning with no fuzzy head.

Spongeface · 10/01/2020 17:18

@aprilfoolsbaby I have saved more! The app told me! Ha ha. I'm just aiming for a nice one I wouldn't normally be able to justify. If I had a garden I would be doing a project this year! Smile

TreesSandSea · 10/01/2020 18:31

How you all doing? I’m having a Pepsi Max as planned but have had a few thoughts of wine. Totally not going there though. I’ve lit the fire and made biscuits and am cuddling the smallest boy and the dog. Life is so good Grin

Boots20 · 10/01/2020 19:14

I'm having Pepsi tonight as well trees making nachos later as well. We had fish for dinner and for a moment I really wanted a glass of wine but the feeling passed Grin

A friend i hadn't seen since before Christmas commented that my face looked slimmer Grin not sure how as I've eating my bodyweight in chocolate but I'll take it!

Ontheshingle · 10/01/2020 19:45

Having a Friday night wobble here. There’s a cold bottle of white in the fridge and it is so tempting. I’m not going to drink but this is The hardest time I’ve had so far (day 14)

Saltypotato · 10/01/2020 19:53

@Ontheshingle Can you tip it away? That might feel wasteful but then drinking it is also a waste of your hard work♥️
I'm struggling a little but I went for a run, only managed 1km jogging and 1km walking but it's a start! Now I'm thumb twiddling, this too will pass....

Ontheshingle · 10/01/2020 19:57

Thanks for your reply @Saltypotato - it’s so nice to have This support and know you are out there struggling like me.
It’s my DH’s wine. He’s considerate but we had people to dinner and it’s leftover. I’m feeling better already - sometimes it’s just getting through a moment isn’t it?
A run always helps me with cravings - well done. I’m coping by obsessing over politics on twitter at the moment ... good luck all.

HouseTornado · 10/01/2020 19:59

Shingle how are you doing? I agree with tipping it away if you feel able to.

Everyone is doing incredibly well tonight, don't give in, go to bed if you have to!

WaitingforToto · 10/01/2020 20:38

Everyone is doing so well - thank you for spurring me on! I suspected tonight would be my most difficult time - Friday is historically my 'big night' of gulping glass after glass of red. I buckled and went to the cupboard to look at what bottles I had in and found...none. I moved them to the garage earlier in the week and the thought of going out in the cold and the wine being equally cold was enough for me to just put the kettle on instead. Result. The craving has now passed and I'm feeling so so proud. I honestly didn't think I could do this but I'm stronger than I thought. I've set an early alarm to get out for a long run in the morning - a reward for a healthy Friday 👍

Ontheshingle · 10/01/2020 20:53

Well done waiting! And thanks for the support tornado.
Nice glass of fizzy water - the moment has passed. I am scared of succumbing. I’ve got the I am sober app and I am motivated by not wanting to lose my lovely day counter and going back to day 1. Also the motivations are sometimes a bit naff but sometimes really good.

Spongeface · 10/01/2020 21:06

Well done fizzy water is good.
Anyone else trying to be boring and watching QI? It's all drink themed!!!! Terrible idea

Ontheshingle · 10/01/2020 21:33

Even nerdier - caught up with this week’s only connect 😁