Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

Catherine I agree, great post, thank you.

emmadilemma I understand all of that only too well. I normally struggle with Wednesdays - my busiest work day but DP works from home that day so I feel I can't open the wine the second I get in. I'd often have too much to drink on a Thursday as my reward.

Ridiculous logic, really.

@theemmadilema you have nailed it there. It's not normal to worry that much about a drink is it

Sorry wrong tag! @theemmadilemma

Day 10 done.

Spent the day in hospital with DS, 5. Now been discharged (hooray!) when I got home instead of wine I had ham on toast

Sleep well everyone

I hope your DS is ok Trees.
So much that I've read on this thread rings really true to me and sounds so familiar. I keep remembering the times that I've agreed to be the designated driver for me and DH (we take turns) and then I've been so furious that I haven't been able to have a drink that I spoiled the night for him and everyone else so I could storm off home early and have a drink. I'm embarrassed, I just want to be a normal person who can have one glass of wine and then stop, but I'm just not made that way. Day 4 - done.

@TreesSandSea hope your DS is ok and well done on not reaching for the glass.

We had people round for dinner last night, so another trigger safely navigated. I did find myself almost reaching for OH's glass for a sip without thinking a couple of times. It was easier than I thought it would be not to have wine with dinner as one of our guests was also not drinking so I didn't feel like the only one.

Roll on day 9.

@TreesSandSea I hope the wee man is OK, and well done for staying dry during a stressful episode.

@HouseTornado Wednesday is a flash point for me as well, it's the end of the more stressful part of the week and I work from home on Thursdays so I would traditionally have a bottle of wine on a Wednesday evening and invariably be hungover for the school run and unproductive at my desk. I was worried today that I'd find it hard, but I've had a surprisingly lovely evening with loads of delicious herbal teas and cordials, and a big vegan lasagne. I sabotaged my Veganuary earlier in the day by consuming a bag of haribo, but at least they were alcohol free.

I was much calmer and more in-the-moment with the kids this evening, I enjoyed their company and was more patient.
I realised this week that all the most important and precious moments of my life have taken place when I have been completely sober. I want more of those.

Hope you're boy is ok Trees.

I bought 5-HTP which has brightened my mood. Not missing booze one bit but only day 3 complete. Can't wait for day 7! Feel like a right newbie

Well done all of you !!

Thanks for the advice / stories about quitting long term. I'm doing the 100 day thing and then when I get there I'll focus on a year.

Day 9 here and enjoying the sleep so much. I'm also looking forward to the lighter nights so I can get out in the garden - that's going to be my project. We're having a big party at home in 2021 so I have 18 months to make it lovely. I figured changing my routine should keep my mind off the booze. There are too many triggers ... get in from work and kids activities exhausted - need a drink, watch Netflix- need a drink, cook dinner - need a drink, listen to certain music- need a drink, it's sunny - need a beer, it's a cold wintry night- need a red wine, we're celebrating - need fizz, friends round, happy, sad, it's Saturday and so it goes on. Every time I abstain now in all those situations, I feel like I'm cutting a thread of the association to alcohol. There're are hundreds of tiny threads but I'll get there. I'm making new habits like having a herbal tea and making a new play list to listen to when I cook dinner. All this helps me.

Keep it up everyone.

I am struggling to sleep. Really tossing and turning.

Doing a yoga class tonight, which will hopefully help with this.

I'm also on day 9.

Morning everyone and welcome to newcomers,
I slept really badly for the first time since giving up. I had too much caffeine yesterday and didn’t run. But I’m still aware how much worse I’d feel if I’d had anything to drink. I’m more resilient to handle whatever happens when I’m sober.
This is day 13 for me and yesterday I had one thought of alcohol in late afternoon but by the evening had actually forgotten about it which was a new and welcome feeling.
I feel so cautious tho. I know my capacity to feel in a flash that I can have a drink.
One day at a time.

Drybird you've hit the nail on the head. I work from home on a Thursday too and invariably would not be as productive as I could be.

Trees hope your DS is ok. Well done on choosing ham over wine!

April I'm a keen gardener, too, and would love to join you planning and sharing ideas!

Sorry about your sleep, Sissy, it'll hopefully settle down.

Day 13 here, feeling ok.

Morning everyone, Day 11 I'm with you sissy, really struggling to get off to sleep have ordered some melatonin so hopefully that will help. All the otc sleeping aids leave me feeling groggy in the mornings. Everyone seems to be doing so well. Feels different this time for me, don't know whether its the whole new year thing or what!

@aprilfoolsbaby and @HouseTornado I'm a gardener too! My thoughts are just beginning to turn to a vegetable seed order and I'd like to plant a plum tree over the next mild spell this winter. Our garden is huge, an awkward spot, and very hard work, and I'm determined to sort it this year.

@SissySpacekAteMyHamster yoga does wonders for my sleep, hope you get the same benefits.

@Ontheshingle I'm a coffee fiend and trying hard not to have any after lunch. It's worst on the days I'm at home with the kids after school, I find it difficult to keep going until teatime. One aspect of sobriety is realising how tired I am; I used wine for a false energy boost in the evenings, I felt it gave me a boost but now realise it was sapping my energy through poor quality sleep.

Have a great day everyone, whether you're on day 3, day 500, or whatever.

Sober gardening! Think of all the fantastic and beautiful things we can spend our money on instead of drink!

In addition, gardening is a great way to lose yourself and switch off. I'm out there for hours sometimes.

Morning all, another AF day ticked off here to! Spent after school at A&E with youngest .. broken nose on day two of being back to school 😬 normally this would have me reaching for the wine as soon as I got in the door but somehow that moment passed me by without a thought!

So great to see you are all remaining strong ladies, I'm also a wannabe gardener. Although I do have help with the lawn as I just couldn't manage it myself and the guy who does it actually turns up with a ride on thingy from the farm (we live on a working crop farm). It's a lot to manage but I'm trying my best.. I have four cherry trees which seem to appeal to lots of wildlife and the chestnut tree is the squirrels paradise. Right now with all the wind and rain the poor garden isn't looking it's best!

Went to bed very late last night! I seem to be staying awake much later these days. Takes a while to drift off but not too troublesome thankfully.

Whatever your up to today, have a wonderful day xx

Hi all.

Day 17 here. Finding the cravings are hitting me hard at the moment. Meh.

Have a good day!

Oh no, Dotty! Hope they are ok. Sounds painful. Your garden sounds incredible.

Howl I'm having similar stirrings today, too. Working from home is always a bit dangerous, as i would sometimes have a glass at lunchtime as a reward for finishing my work. I have some AF beer in the fridge just in case.

Keep posting, stay with it.

Thanks House, there is no trigger for my thoughts just me being at a bit of a loss over not drinking in the evening. I don't even want the booze back it is just addictive thinking. IT WILL PASS!

Had to take public transport yesterday, someone got on and totally stank of stale alcohol. Everytime they breathed it filled the air, at 9am ... it made me feel like vomiting. That was probably me 4 weeks ago ...

Grim.

Hoping the yoga has the desired effect. I actually feel hungover today! The irony is I never really suffered with hangovers when drinking. Maybe I'm coming down with something or maybe it's my body reacting.

Like the gardening ideas. We have one in desperate need of replanting, so look forward to swapping ideas.

@HouseTornado I work from home to and have also rewarded myself in the past! It can be so isolating.. I've taken to listening to podcasts so it's like having someone else in the room 😆

Son is fine.. bruised and black eyes but bouncing round like nothings happened!

Must get focused.. 2nd. Lack coffee of the day and I'm still in my PJ's ... wooops

Does anyone else notice more when other people have been drinking the night before? The raddled look, the smell - not just breath but a whole body drinking smell? Makes me shudder that others might have seen the same in me.

Day 9 for me. Just used the gym for the first time this year,, sweated buckets but had so much more energy than I would have when i was drinking.

Loving the deep sleeps I'm having, waking up each morning feeling so proud of myself which beats waking up feeling sluggish and guilty!

According to my app I've saved over 2000calories which is scary but havent lost weight yet but I have been eating like a horse lol.

Plan to do the gym again tomorrow then going on a hike on sunday so I am actually looking forward to an alcohol free weekend.

Glad to hear he's ok, Dotty.

Nice work, Boots! I need to motivate myself into some regular exercise. Next week!

Hello all. Day 28 here and I had quite a wobble last night after a tough day at work. I just went home and thought god I'd love a gin and tonic.

Anyway DH said to me stay strong (as he poured himself a whisky ) and I managed it. Glad that I did today. But I do worry that I may not give up for ever.