Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

Hello everyone
Well done. Every day is worth celebrating. I just came from a work drinks thing. It was easy because I had to go back to work after and it’s not the sort of work where any kind of drinking is acceptable. But I noticed I didn’t have any pull at all to drink. It’s day 11 for me. Agree about lack of white noise and I’m getting so much more done.I am super wary tho - it only takes one moment of acting on the thought that a drink wiups be a good idea. I love being on this thread - it helps me to feel accountable to you all.

Evening all. I've struggled today but I'm continuing onwards. Had to talk to myself out loud on the car ride home and shout some sense into myself. Could easily have cracked open a bottle of wine but having a brew instead. Day 3 - done.

I’m 2 years sober next month, one of the best things is my eyes.
I look in the mirror now and my eyes are white and not red.
Also, remember those days when you had ‘beer fear’, those awful memories of saying stuff etc.
Plus, I know this sounds harsh, but alcohol makes you smell.
Two bottles of vino a night and it was seeping out of me the next day.
Onwards ladies, onwards and upwards.

Did anyone else find day 7 really hard? This evening has been harder than any so far. I'm so tempted to just have one to gather my thoughts 🙈 I've had a lot going on at home and I'm struggling to sleep so that may be contributing but this evening is awful!

@Saltypotato im finding day 7 hard too. I'm going to finish watching some Nordic murders with DH and then going to bed, today has gone on long enough!

@Drybird2020 I'm sorry to hear you are struggling too. I think I might follow your lead and go to bed with a book (and sulk there! This has rocked my confidence a bit so I think I need to sleep and wake fresh tomorrow. I hope you feel brighter tomorrow too ♥️ we will have done our first week!

@Saltypotato yes I'm finding it really hard today as well, hardest day so far. I'm back at the gym tomorrow so hoping the endorphins or something give me a bit of a boost lol. A drink would be lovely but waking up tomorrow knowing I resisted will be even better

Just repeat to yourself that the feelings will pass. You just need to get through today. You can do it, even if it feels a bit rubbish at times.

I had a wobble today to but stayed strong thankfully! We were having the rest of the cheese and biscuits for dinner (just to get rid of them) and the thought of not having a glass of red wine to wash it down really played on my mind.. anyway it passed and I had soup instead.day 7 complete 🙌 well done all, looking forward to a fresh faced day 8.

I often slink off to bed in a mood, pissed off and utterly bored. Guess it is part of grieving that life and missing the routine of getting smashed up.
It it tough some days - I actually went to walk up the booze section to get 'my' wine without even thinking tonight ... Oh YEAH, I don't do that now ... twat!

Onwards. Sleep peacefully!

I have spent tonight eating all of the food. Have sent myself to bed now. Had the painter in who I normally have a few beers with but it was easy to resist.why? Because he expects me to have a few beers, a chat, a laugh and basically be good beer fun.... I wasn't. I'm still feeling the shame from all my past drunkenness and esp over Xmas Eve. I'm seeing how much friends and family expect me to be the drunk one and I don't like it. I have my annual trip to a VERY remote hostel with friends this year.... Last year I went a night early, met strangers and drank all my drink for the full trip... Called lots of people making sure they took drink for me the next day... Very important. I could not be without drink somewhere so remote surrounded by drinkers. I had drank a bottle of gin, vodka and a bag of wine all designed to last me three civilised nights .. I had shared but still... I know I had the most. That trip is coming up. I'm going to fake drink.
Anyone else being reminded of being drunk by how people expect you to be? Maybe still early days for that yet. (Day 10 here)
I'm very admiring of you all exercising out your demons rather than eating them like I am.

Sorry to hear some of you are struggling today. Weirdly, I did not think about wine at all yesterday (day 7 Tuesday) and it was the first day that I have not felt irritable and pissed off as the night went on. I am staying up later and later, able to actually spend time with the DC and read a bit before bed. Have not done that in years.

I still woke up this morning (Wednesday) feeling tired and like I could keep sleeping for hours. If I didn't have to walk the dog I probably wouldn't get out of bed!

My DC are going away for a few days and OH will also be away this weekend. I'm looking forward to a couple of days on my own (don't think I've had that since DC were born). I have planned a trip to the cinema for Friday night as I want to avoid being tempted to drink while I sit at home on my own, which I probably would have done a week ago.

I have been running every day since stopping but still no weight lost (thanks mini magnums ).

Smashing it, not smashed!! Keep strong everyone

Oh grieving the easy life of blotting it out! Yes! My teenage dd has cut me out again. She’s too young to do that only 15. I know she’ll probably want me back at some stage but alcohol would have been very welcome. I’m very grumpy that I can’t moderate. But I can’t. So that’s that I will just have to feel all this bloody pain! (I’ll be ok been here before).

Morning all. Day 8 for me. Reading the Sober Diaries and cringing at the similarities - highly recommend this book as interwoven in the story are many facts which I've found helpful.

My biggest question is how do you quit forever? I've done dry January for about 5 years, last year I didn't drink in feb either but I just can't stop forever. But I can't moderate either so it's got to be forever.

I'm sleeping a lot, going to bed early because there's nothing else to do and sleeping like a baby which is bliss after years of waking up at 3.

Well done everyone- what a brilliant supportive thread, it's definitely helped me over the past few days.

When I did it around 5-6 years ago I committed to a year. In some ways I really started to feel the benefits after about 6 months and it was a habit by the end of the year. I probably only had 3-4 drinks the following year at weddings and similar.

It's taken several years to creep back up. I know it's different for different people but could you make just this whole year your target?

Another day and still on the wagon. Thinking of all the money I'm saving from not drinking a bottle of wine a night is of some help.

For me the hardest time during the week is when I get home from work - I used to pour a glass of wine the moment I walked through the door. At the weekend it's that 5-7 pm slot.

testing I'm aiming for a year - at the very least 100 days to start with.

I'm not having any major cravings yet in terms of the taste, but I miss the activity (and the blotting stuff out). I know they are likely to return. So I'm holding on to the very pleasant changes to my sleep and just the fact that I feel so much calmer and less anxious.

Also, the amount I'm getting done with work is incredible. I've never not met deadlines, but now I'm meeting them AND doing additional taks to improve my work. It's really motivating me.

Hope everyone has a good Wednesday.

Just popping in to wish you all luck. I gave up almost 2 years ago. I failed dry January 2018 by about day 6, early February had a big night out and the beer fear was soooooo bad I quit there and then. OP I could have written your post

"I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night. There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February."

That sums up my story exactly.

This last summer holiday after 18 months of nothing I had 1 beer and 1 glass of wine. It honestly left me cold I really wasn't bothered and that cemented it for me.

In the first few weeks it wasn't easy, I went to town on AF beers etc, but after a few months I could even take or leave it. In fact I hadn't drunk anything like that for ages then had a few AF beers over xmas.

Hang on in there everyone, your life will be so much the better for it.

Thank you Catherine - what a great post.

My biggest question is how do you quit forever?

@aprilfoolsbaby, I started with the Annie Grace 30 day alcohol experiment and took it a day at a time.

Day 77 for me, and I can't be complacent, but I don't want to drink alcohol at all. The benefits were there from Day 1.

I took a look at the weekly sleep stats on my Fitbit and it was quite interesting.

In the three months before I stopped drinking, I averaged 7-7.5 hours per night.

In the first 8 weeks when I gave up drinking, I was still averaging 7-7.5 hours per night, but I felt more refreshed when I woke up and had more energy during the day.

In the past three weeks, I averaged 6.5-7 hours per night (I put this down to being really busy over the Christmas and New Year period). But I still woke refreshed and with tonnes of energy.

So, a better quality of sleep and improved mood.

Not scientific, but I have been able to cope better physically and mentally since I gave up. And that is enough for me to keep going, still one day at a time.

Good morning all, we've successfully completed a week AF and that feels great.! Don't know about you all but My complexion is definitely looking brighter and I've saved some calories and money, win win. Sleeping much better when I finally drift off and dreaming which is something I've noticed 😳 normally too pissed and pass out!! Here's to another successful week ahead!

Have a great Wednesday all xx

Hi. Joining you on this thread too. I'm another dry January starter. Day 8 for me and definitely noticed a better complexion this morning.

I've been struggling for a while with alcohol and my inability to moderate. So many posts on here resonate.

I tend to drink at weekends, so Friday and Saturday nights are my difficult to get through times. Very much a social drinker but enjoy drinking at home alone too.

I have lost friends in the past through my behaviour when drunk.

I'm looking to completely quit drinking, and am interested to see how it affects me physically as well as mentally.

I am finding this thread a real inspiration, and ironically Red Red Wine was just playing on the radio whilst reading!

@CatherineCawood thank you so much 😘 that post is excalty what I needed to read!

Well done everyone!

I love the freedom of not drinking. Being able to jump in the car any time I choose. Not having the mental load of it:

Do I have enough booze for today?
Have I hidden my drinking enough?
Is the stash topped up and well hidden?
We're going out will I be able to get a drink somewhere , how often and when?
And on..
And on..

My pleasure drybird2020 hang on in there, eventually it will be so normal you won't even think about it and it won't bother you. I very very occasionally think oh a glass of wine would be nice with this meal etc, but they are over quick and pretty rare.