Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

Urgh, not a great night. Got some sleep but kept waking every hour and had lots of dreams. Woke up in a sweat at 6 but then so did my husband so not sure if that's alcohol related. Hope it gets easier as really not feeling great today...

It does get easier. You don’t want to go through the first few days again

@Canadeeio yes to your racehorse analogy- I want to say fuck it too and get quite cross that I can’t. Surrounded by drinkers. But I have a really good alcohol free group that I need to reconnect with.

I wish I could be one of those people who just enjoys a couple of glasses of wine at the weekend and that's it. But it's all or nothing with me and it needs to be nothing.

ineed this is my default too. I can't have one, I have to stockpile.

Anyway, Day 11 now, and things feel fine, I feel calm, actually. But back to work properly tomorrow, and a v busy day. I've packed my swimming gear so I can swim on the way home rather than dash home and open wine.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Slept dreadfully and been properly awake since 4.45 but still! 25 days under my belt and someone at work told me I was looking thin and great yesterday so I'm well up for that!

Hope everyone had better nights than me. We are doing this!

I've never been one for one or two drinks - whats the point? I have always been one for chasing that buzz and trying to prolong it trouble is you can't prolong the buzz you just get pissed and then we all know the messy aftermath of that.

Sorry to hear some of you are struggling with your sleep. Have any of you upped your exercise in the day? I def sleep better if I do more. I'm going to do some yoga, weights and longer dog walks and some swimming at the weekend, well that is the plan in my head anyway.

Day 15 here.

Well done, Howls, 15 days is fantastic.

Thanks House! Longest time for me AF in 6 years, bloody shocking to get my head around that.

Wow, so many people doing so well.

I'm 3 months 22 days sober after a medical at home detox. Mid 40's, functioning alcoholic for over 25 years, was tipping to late stage and was ready to stop.

I love reading how much everyone is enjoying the positives of not drinking. Who knew I'd wasted sooo much time anxious and exhausted. I thought I was a light sleeper too.

These days I'm 90% less anxious, I see genuine joy in daily life, I sleep like a log, I have more energy to enjoy life. I don't think I'll ever look back.

@HowlsMovingBungalow I was always chasing the buzz too. There was never a time I had just one drink to savor the taste...! It kind of makes it easier to say, well then one is a no for the rest of my life so there's no question of me starting again.

theemmadilemma - congratulations. That is a phenomenal achievement. Thank you for sharing.

I'm beginning to realise that I hid behind alcohol and it helped me to overcome my shyness. Which seemed to get worse as I got older (my shyness, ad the drinking!). Now at my age I'm beginning to realise I can just be shy, other people can chat away, I can just listen.

Howl I know what you mean. Other than being AF when pregnant and then when BF, I've never had a dry spell.

In other news I'm on my third jigsaw in 10 days....

@theemmadilemma - I had a medical detox (at home) over 9 yrs ago and stayed sober for 10 months and then crashed and burnt - oddly enough I was drinking less before my medical detox than last yr when I detoxed by myself - think this one part that kept me drinking - petrified that I would fit and die if I stopped by myself.
Are you attending groups after your detox - I spent 3 months attending after mine and it really helped me.
Well done on your sober days!

I'm a fellow introvert too that turns into the biggest loudmouth twat when boozing, I rather be shy and not show myself and loved ones up ... Have to keep repeating that to my addictive self!!

Onwards and upwards folks !

@HowlsMovingBungalow I knew I couldn't do it myself. I wanted to stop so much, but I knew I would reach for the glass because the withdrawal was too much for me. The being watched 24/7 and meds meant it was actually pretty easy. I do hope I don't crash. I'm actually heading off to my last service appointment today to sign out of the service. My counsellor says he wished he'd taken a before and after picture, I'm the poster girl of what recovered looks like.

I 100% used alcohol for confidence in my teens and then didn't know who I was when I was 'out' without it. Turns out I'm actually a pretty confident woman now who gives not many fucks what other people think. But I'm so happy and feel so free, I believe this is me for the rest of my life.

I actually have to stop myself getting a bit preachy now but it's because I know how easy it is to slip down a road you don't believe you ever would with alcohol. It's a dirty, dark master that will catch you unaware.

All the best for your last appointment. You sound like you gained massive positivity from gaining the sober you! Exciting times, it is like peeling all the old rotten layers off and having the opportunity to be fresh and whole again.

I ran four miles yesterday so should have slept well! Think I'm not sleeping well as it's back to work and so the adrenaline is flowing.

Might do some yoga too though - I just couldn't be bothered to get my mat out last night.

It really helps reading others doing the same thing.

I'm knackered today as well. I woke up to pee in what I thought was the middle of the night and then my alarm went off.

@coastergirl I hear you, it is exhausting. If you wanted to drop in on the thread every day you could just say hi to stay in the habit, and start talking when you feel like it.

So many (literally) sobering stories on here. Thank you all for sharing, it's helping my resolve.

@Canadeeio I'm the same in that I've lasped further into alcohol abuse since moving on from the baby stage. One of the thoughts I'm training myself in is that I managed to quit when I was pregnant FOR THEM and their wellbeing, and I'm choosing sobriety now for the same reasons. I don't want my kids to have a drunk mum.

I'm going to find tonight really hard. Last night was ok because I was slightly hungover and felt crap. Tonight is different. Having issues with my child and ex husband. It's hard to resist.

After feeling amazing all week (day 7 today) I had my first proper wobble. Took a mild panic attack while doing school run and my first thought was I'll have a glass of wine when I get back to calm me down I didn't though because yes it would temporarily calm me down but then I wouldnt stop at one and be back to square 1 tomorrow.

Training myself to calm down naturally and accept my emotions/feelings and let them flow. So glad I didn't slip.

What will drinking help with @coastergirl?
Shutting off your head for a few hours? Yup drink creates false feelings and bullshit 'strength'
Try another AF night and deal with your worries as the real you - we are all here

I gave up for 6 months two years ago and felt so good about myself for doing so, then went back to it when I met DP. I've given up again since Christmas and it's so much easier this time.

I once read that it takes 66 days to break a habit. The first time I gave it up I hung to that and it was a good guide. It actually took 90 days to stop giving alcohol a thought at all.

Keep going everyone. I didn't think I could do it but I did, and you can too.

Interesting stats there @Sally99 - v helpful, thank you. I was thinking that if booze leaves your system after 10 days max, I should be over it by now (day 26).

Will hang on til day 91!

Great advice Sally.

I slept appallingly last night, had drinking nightmares and woke up in a pool of sweat - gross!

I went to a second AA meeting lunchtime today. Hired a bike there and back to/from work. I think I need the support from AA as I am a very weak person and the slightest thing can tip me over so I need some kind of support network - in my case. But if you are struggling and don't feel you will make it it's a good way to meet like minded people. I can remember my 10 week stint at sobriety and the nights without my kids were hell. I'd still go out and drink alcohol free beers. But this one venue didn't have any one night, then the next as they had sold out. I was livid and ordered a Tiny Rebel can of Cali! My demise. This is how weak I am!

Read the most recent posts - you are all doing an amazing job - you should be so proud of yourselves!!

Day 2 for me...

Hi all
Feeling good again today. Wine witch appeared after a stressful conversation with our builder but I banished her and had a glass of sugar free cream soda instead. My lovely bro sent me a half bottle of my fave tipple ( he doesn’t know I am now AF) which will have to go down the sink as I can’t have it here right now. Day 9 today.

Let us know if we can help coastergirl.

I find the 3.30 - 6pm slot really hard. I'm tired, DS gets home from school and is also tired and a bit arsy. I used to hide (with wine) in the kitchen and potter about whilst he did his own thing (he's old enough, don't panic).

Now I sit in the same room doing a jigsaw drinking herbal tea or AF beer...

Well done TreesSandSea, on resisting and also removing the temptation.

@Boots20 I'm a week in too, and this is the first day I've felt a bit crappy; low level headache and a nasty claggy taste in my mouth. And very, very tired which is also to do with a first week back at work and the kids at school and all the associated logistics.

I find that eating something as soon as I get in helps, and I'm now sitting with a cup of tea and a pomegranate cordial in front of me.
@Sally99, thanks for those stats, I was wondering on the way home how long I'm going to be obsessing about sobriety. Though it's better than the obsessing about drinking I was doing before I quit.