Wankerbastards and summer sunshine will make us want the bloody wine. But tryers to be dryers won't give up, and ice cold becks blue we will sup.

[Frouby]

Thread 7 for the tryers.

Join us for tips and support for encouraging a more healthy relationship with alcohol. Whether you want to drink less, or not at all, stay in your units or just cut down this is the thread for friendship, support, tips and ideas.

Absolutely no judgements here, but there will possibly be swearing.

Other threads are dotted around but I have yet to master a clicky link.

Feel like we are getting back to being a team

^^This is the best thing I've read all day.

Aw, thanks NC4. I hope I am not counting my chickens too soon!

That's lovely to read longest, am glad you are both pulling together. It makes life so much easier if you have a supportive partner.

Been kayaking/dragon boating. It's been really mild, ds swimming in the lake at 7.30pm, then playing in his pjs at the side while we waited for dd to finish.

And it's meant 3 dry days! And I had 2 gins on monday, dry sunday and 1 large glass of wine Saturday. So a very moderate week for me. Good job really, first full week at school has been a grueler. For weight/health/environmental reasons have been walking rather than using the car. Have done 12k+ steps a day apparently, 80% at a brisk pace according to the app on my phone.

Had to buy new trainers today, mine are more like canvas pumps and won't be any good for wetter weather. As I wanted leather ones, I ended up paying £55 for some nice, black Adidas ones. Seemed very indulgent as I never pay that much for trainers for me. But they should last and have told myself I will save that in petrol and wear and tear on the car.

Dh flopping around saying he is ill. I don't think he is, I think he is seriously trying to drink less, he's been dry 3 days as well, plus Saturday and Sunday. So he's been coming home, having a shower and watching tv upstairs. Annoying slightly but at least he is trying. And it makes it a lot easier for me!

Cannot remember the last time I was dry even for 1 day !! Anyone use drink as their only release?! 😩

NC4, I’m crap at delayed gratification too.

Senseless, thats a win I think, it sounds like mindful drinking. Well done.

Longest, sympathy on the tantrums, sounds tiring

Theotherme, 7 days is good though, well done

My MIL is in hospital and I drank wine on Tuesday when I found out but not since which means I’ve done 3 nights AF this week. I’m terrified she’s going to die, she’s one of my favourite people in the world. Went to see her twice which meant a 2 hour round trip and she’s scarily ill, in ICU. Children are very worried too. So I think even three nights AF is good in the circumstances.

Flossie, im sorry, I hope hot GP is helpful. Ikwym, I welled up yesterday when boss asked e how MIL was. She said “should you be here?” But was better to be at work than fretting at home.

Madame, glad your iron issue seems to be getting sorted.

Dion, less than a bottle is a total win imo.

Frouby, kayaking dilemma sounds difficult, can dh go?

Longest, I think you can never go wrong with being kind. Ah, dd is only 8, bless! 💐

Buckeejit, well done on your AF stretch, that’s fab.

Oh water, sending hugs re your mil. I hope she pulls through. [Flowers]. Thank you for the words of encouragement re DD. I think you're right. She can be very rude and demanding though - I think I'm creating a monster! Dd2 can be stubborn and dramatic but on the whole is a zillion times easier. She's only 4 though so I guess she has time!

Hi you lovely lot. I wrote a long post and then realised it was wayyyy too outing so had to have it withdrawn. I wish I could tell you all as you’re all such lovely souls. But I’ll be able to next week. Having the shittest of times right now.

Water - I really hope your mil turns a corner and begins to show signs of improving .

Water - so sorry about your MIL. Really hope she improves soon.

Flossie - hang in there. Sorry about shit times.

I am doing ok with the booze but shit with everything else. Ill, tired, shouty, not at all productive. Really feel bored and trapped with everything at the moment.

Very anxious about work.

I can't fix anything when I'm drunk all the time but the problem with being sober is everything comes into sharp focus.

water so sorry about your mil, it must be so difficult being so far away as well. Look after yourself, emotionally and physically. When my MIL died suddenly I was so intent on being supportive for DH I forgot about myself. I made myself ill because I forgot to look after me as well. Was so busy running myself ragged then supporting dh it didn't hit me properly for a couple of months then it was like she had just doed all over again. I was really close to her, and am heartbroken still she never got to meet ds, she would have absolutely worshipped him. She was besotted with dd, who isn't dhs and was nearly 3 before she met her. So would have been utterly smitten with ds, who looks like his dad and is so like him personality wise as well.

flossie . If you want to offload am always up for a pm xx

Just back from the hairdressers, have swishy posh hair again. Yay. And put make up on this morning so I didn't have to look at myself in the mirror for 3 hours. So feel all dressed up and well groomed for a change. Makes a change for me, usually smell of horse, or have chicken shit on my shoes or smell of lake 😂😂😂. Might see if dh fancies a walk down to pub later.

Just gonna do wages, tidy round, pick ds up then having a big fat glass of wine. Ph amd have been asked to do paperwork again on monday, so that's another £100 earnt. Hope it becomes a regular thing, it's an easy £100 for a few hours work.

@Frouby you have to take yr fancy new hair out!

@Waterandlemonjuice so sorry to hear about mil, that is tough so go messy on yourself

@Flossie44 sorry. To hear things are so bad, hoping you turn a brighter corner soon

@Frouby 12k a day is brilliant, I wish I could get to 10. My fit bit battery has gone crap so looks like I'll have to get something else.

I am going to manage tonight AF too I think. Might try to stick to one bottle of wine over tomorrow & Sunday but not stress if other things happen. I've been fairly healthy this week too so happy with progress!

Longest your DD sounds like DS1. I always said that boy doesn’t think outside the box, he doesn’t see there is a box. He’s dyspraxic, like your DH, and the Camhs people put his non-conformity down to dyspraxia and not ASD (like DS2).
Not sure why I’m telling you that other than that I feel your frustration. I don’t think you’re creating a monster, but it’s hard work trying to shove a free spirit into a box.
Flossie just for now. But totally here when you’re ready or by PM. Try and take care of yourself my love. Not easy, I know.
I’m off out of town tomorrow to see an old, old friend. I’m so looking forward to it. I’ve got an Airbnb nearby - own bed, no 5am starts. He’s such a grounding influence, and his Mrs is totally ace too.
DS1 has registered on a college course today. It’s a bit out of town but not so bad. I’m so relieved. He’s been NEET all summer, despite his best efforts, so this is good.
One of the weights is lifted, for today at least...

longest you aren't creating a monster at all. I am sure when she gets older she will be able to regulate her emotions better. 8 is still little, and they are half way grown up, halfway still toddlers. They start to worry about friendship issues, school work, bad things like terrorism and war and stuff they see in the news and their only safe place is at home with parents. I am sure she will settle down once school settles a bit. And if she never settles down I am sure she will go far as no one will ever dare argue with her.

Feel rough this morning. Urgh. Had 2 cans at home, 2 pints in the pub then wanted to have a thai but restaurant was closed so we came home and had Chinese instead which is definitely not my favourite. Dh is out out this afternoon though, so am planning a nice bath, easy veggie pasta for me and dd and tuna pasta for ds, some garlic bread and an early night with my book. Want to get some jobs done at home, clean Guinea pigs out, tidy back garden up and generally potter around.

Hoping dh stays out late, or comes home and passes out quietly on the sofa 😂😂. He's annoying when he's drunk and I am sober.

Aw you are all so lovely. I feel a bit rubbish too. Seem to have some kind of UTI. 111 suggest a walk in centre so I will pop off there as soon as I can be bothered - it's a bit of a hike. In the meantime dds have endless demands involving making slime and junk models and Dh is putting critical comments all over my job share application. Feeling a bit grumpy.

NC4 - enjoy your weekend, sounds amazing! I too am meeting some lovely old friends tomorrow, though with kids in tow. In fact it's a mansion-warming party or ridiculously successful friends of Times Interview fame but it's also 20 years since we all met so friends are coming from Scotland and Dorset. It's weirdly a Sunday daytime affair though so not sure how moderate to aim for. I normally drive to theirs but that seems a little to abstemious and there is the tube.... Dunno. Might depend on how poorly I feel but determined not to miss it altogether.

Thanks both for solidarity re dd1. The SENCO at school did say "if you ever feel you're trying to fit a square peg into a round hole it's usually an indication they'll go far" which was reassuring in a way. DH had all sorts of issues with non conformity at school. He skipped a year and did v well academically but he was pretty miserable - always in trouble and a loner. I hope we and school are a bit more attuned to dd but she doesn't make it easy for us!
Also went out for a drink last night with a couple of other old friends but it wasn't the best night ever. One is getting a bit grumpy and confrontational these days and the other is very stressed and upset about Brexit. Was all right though and nice to get out.

Good luck Froubyvre sobriety and Dh.

Rescued day. Managed to get antibiotics for UTI from chemist by buying bizarre smart phone enabled wee test. Had all you can eat veggie curry buffet and went for a bike ride along the canal to the fountains at Kings cross. Feel a bit rough but was nice. Veggie curry buffet was full of posters about how alcohol and meat will cause you to die in hideous ways, but worst of all is apparently cold water, which is the cause of most heart attacks and cancer apparently, so not sure how seriously to take their advice!

Oh and for their homework they had to talk about their heritage so we made passable Sri Lankan hoppers. Beats maths.

What are hoppers longest? Sounds much better than maths. Ds has spellings in his book bag we need to practice, plus we have only read twice since he's been back, unless you count a Minecraft magazine. Really not looking forwards to managing homework again, dd does it all herself.

Had a nice day, took dd to play kayak polo but no one turned up for training so she had a windsurfing and stand up paddleboard lesson instead which she loved. Had a walk back down with ds and the dog to watch her, and some of his kayaking mates were there so he played with them for an hour while I gossiped with their mum.

Dropped dh off at 1pm, tidied the garden up and cleaned piggies out for a couple of hours then had a shower and got pjs on. Couldn't face shopping on a Saturday afternoon so ds had tuna pasta and me and dd ordered an Indian takeaway.

Am starving, can't wait. We've ordered too much but will save some for dh. Just having a lovely bottle of Budweiser and reading while ds eats his tea. Then am having a ridiculously early night with my book and half a pot of salted caramel icecream I have hidden. Hoping dh is in much later, or even better comes home and crashes on the sofa.

Hoppers are sort of pancake things made of rice flour and coconut milk, and sometimes with an egg cooked in the middle. A MIL speciality but one I am yet to fully master! I have the proper pans though, that were a present from DH's Sri Lankan auntie.

Catching up...

I can't fix anything when I'm drunk all the time but the problem with being sober is everything comes into sharp focus. Senseless, you say it for me.

Not AF at all, but going to try to be this evening because I had wine for lunch.

Not sure where to start!

Water, I'm so sorry about your MIL. You are a strong woman to manage 3 nights AF in your situation.

Longest, I know about square pegs and round holes. My square peg has found his niche, but he certainly hadn't when he was 8. I never knew if I was being too strict with him or not strict enough . Hoppers sound good, and I'm glad you managed to get some meds for the UTI.

NC4, own bed and no early start would be a win, even without the old friend.

As always, love hearing the tales from the Frouby household.

Blissa, yes, that's more or less what I do ATM. Unfortunately.

And Flossie, just massive, massive hugs.

More massive hugs to you all.
I have drafted long messages for this thread over and over this weekend; I never quite get them down though. I hold back mainly for fear of someone recognizing me. Who I ask myself and why to I care anyway
Hoppers! well I didn't expect to see that. We don't have Sri Lankan heritage but I know the country very well. Oh and on the cold water yes deadly, mainly deadly for south Asians though, likewise drinking warm water cures many things. My friend's mother (Tamil heritage Malaysian) advises "drink warm water" daily to whoever will listen. I should go for some as due to a chronic sore throat I have decided I have stage 4 throat cancer. "Bizarre smart phone enabled wee test" this is mind blowing new information. If you caught it early the meds should knock it fairly quick, right? Your mansion party doesn't sound like it could be a sober affair. No white wine with a UTI though.
frouby hey yes of course a Minecraft magazine counts! Anything bloody counts in our house. It has too.
I had a massive lost of drinking control at the weekend. So embarrassed and worried that that can happen. It doesn't happen to me often but when it does I feel very fragile for days even weeks afterwards. Exactly the opposite of senseless work do last week.

Leaving, I have the fear of being recognised, too. Though I should really be more afraid of my own relationship with alcohol.

That said... I managed to get through yesterday evening AF. It was bloody difficult, especially having had a glass of wine at lunchtime (which is normally a trigger to carry on). I spent the entire evening tossing up between: "I'm not going to have a drink", and "oh sod it, I'll have a drink". By the time 9 o'clock rolled around and I was still tossing it up, I decided to have a cup of tea instead, as even I know that 9PM is a daft time to start drinking, because it ends up with going to bed at 1AM and then waking up at 4AM with beer fear.

Hope everyone is having an ok weekend.

Well done dion