Wankerbastards and summer sunshine will make us want the bloody wine. But tryers to be dryers won't give up, and ice cold becks blue we will sup.

[Frouby]

Thread 7 for the tryers.

Join us for tips and support for encouraging a more healthy relationship with alcohol. Whether you want to drink less, or not at all, stay in your units or just cut down this is the thread for friendship, support, tips and ideas.

Absolutely no judgements here, but there will possibly be swearing.

Other threads are dotted around but I have yet to master a clicky link.

What's up Flossie?

Frouby when DS1 is vile it's almost always stomach related.

Back from work. It is pissing it down, and is pitch black. FFS.

Longest, how did DD2's day go?

Flossie, hugs, and more hugs. No need to explain if you don't want to.

Madame, I love your descriptions of your French life.

Frouby, DS used to suffer terribly from hunger-induced vileness. I learnt not to try to speak to him until he was stuffed full of breakfast. He is, to some extent, still like this, but now (mostly) knows that he needs to eat.

NC4, your fourth friend sounds a bit batshit. Obviously you didn't set out to offend her, and any normal person would realise this. It sounds as if she's looking for a reason to be offended with someone and it's your turn this time. It's horrible for you, though. I hope your other two friends have a calming effect on her. I once accidentally fell out with someone because of an ill-advised comment my DD made about hers. Or, rather, she fell out with me. It was terribly upsetting. I had to eat humble pie on DD's behalf for a very long time. We had lots of mutual friends, too, so I know how tricky that aspect is. as it happens, my DD was right about the absolute foulness of her DD, but I didn't say this

Not dry. Because DP and generally shitty day.

She had a good day, thanks for asking Dion. I am sorry yours was rubbish. not going to be dry here either. DM is here. Bit worried about her as she had a bit of a fall. She claims to be ok but keeps lying on the sofa.

Been a bit knackered all day which is probably something to do with yesterday's 2 pints. Really must get back into good habits soon. Have a reunion with old friends on Sunday though. Hmm.

I really am not keen on the scrappy post school end of the day Frouby. They're always too knackered to do anything fun. Unfortunately I am going to have more of them having swapped my day off for some more early finishes now they are both in the same place at the same time. I oscillate between filling the time up with activities and scaling right back to give them more downtime. Neither approach seems to stop the scrappy squabbliness really, especially in winter when you can't just chuck them in the park,/garden. It's the lack of light that bothers me more than the cold about Autumn/winter really. I always feel so cooped up. Ah well, I tend to eventually come up with some ideas of how to pass the time but there's a period of adjustment every year where I find I have totally forgotten how to act.

Flossie ps sorry too for your shit day and also sending hugs.

Longest, I completely sympathise re lack of light. I can't bear it. And I don't even have younger children.

I love your posts - they are so beautifully written.

I'm glad DD2 had a good day, though I am sorry to hear about DM!

Just flying by between refilling wine fml

Dd stopped breathing again today. Is fine now. But leaves me going from calm to 1000% pure adrenaline. Got the call from school. It’s all shit tbh but I just have to get on with it and carry on doing the mum
Stuff etc.
I’ve got so much pain in my body. Just all over muscle pain. Currently it’s in my hip, groin and flank. Convinced myself it’s ovarian cancer. My head is so fucked up when dd has an episode. I just can’t think straight or be logical. And now pain on top makes it worse. I know a lot of it is anxiety driven. But this feels so real. Fml over and over

Off to pour more wine fml

Think it was a combination of hangry and tired. He was much better with some food shovelled in him thank god. He's a very hungry child generally, but he's so active it's no wonder. Yesterday was a long day (he was with me the whole day and climbing trees, splashing in the lake, clambering over rocks, rolling down bankings and generally being a nutter for 10 hours, he was asleep for 8pm but awake at 6am so I think it just caught up with him.

I don't want to get into the habit of throwing food at him the minute he comes out of school but might start taking an apple or a banana with me at pick up time. Least it gets the fruit/veg count up easily if there's nothing else.

Nc I would definetly have a word with your other 2 friends and tell them how you feel. If they are proper friends they will understand.

Longest hope your mum is ok. Mine has been referred back to the cardiology unit again. They think that the angina attacks are either not angina and are concerned they are mini heart attacks, or that the angina is getting worse. She has a partially blocked carotid artery (I think it is, in her neck) that they keep an eye on but don't want to operate unless absolutely necessary. So a bit of a worry. And then my lovely auntie is still struggling a bit post op to remove part of both lungs because of cancer.

But they both managed all day yesterday, they were tired but soon had a bit of colour after beef sandwiches and yorkshire puddings with gravy and apple pie and custard 😄.

Wasn't dry, 2 gins which I am OK with. Will be dry tomorrow after kayaking so not too bad.

Am off to bed to read now, dh is already up. We are so rock and roll. I miss the lighter nights after school, I also hate that witching hour but do like going to bed in the dark. It's much cosier.

Nope. Not a fan of the dark here either. Or the cold. Or dead leaves. I'm always convinced there's a dog shit lurking beneath them. I like spring and summer, when you can see what you're stepping in.

I get a rush of excitement the first night when its dark and I'm heading off for a night out though. It reminds me of the excitement of going to nightclubs for the first time.
After that, I just get cold and cranky.
Sat here with DS1s hoody on, hunched over my keyboard like Quazimodo all day doesn't help.

Flossie are you tensing your muscles with stress/cold? I'm struggling with pain a bit at the moment. The changing seasons always affect my dodgy joints. I'm cracking like bubblewrap.

Hugs to everyone who had a shit day today. I'm only just finishing work so haven't had time to drink. This might be the future...

Work as the cure, NC4. Yes!!
Love the joints as bubblewrap image. Mine are exactly like that.
Wish I had managed to be AF this evening, but I haven't. Ah well.

Aghh can’t sleep despite being AF and knackered. Hope everyone is ok, will read you all tomorrow

NC4 with friends like that hey? 💐

Madame your run is so impressive

Flossie, I’m sorry about dd. Tbh I’m not surprised you have an extreme reaction, most of us would. You seem very unsupported, I’m sorry.💐

Nc4, imo these things are often about other people’s shit, not about you but that doesn’t stop it being hurtful. I’ve had some similar family stuff this year, bloody awful. Six months of counselling later I’m ok but it took some unraveling. I’m on for your bar!

I drank loads on Saturday but on Sunday had 2 glasses of wine at lunchtime then half a bottle on Sunday evening and now AF today. My aim is to be AF for 4 days again this week.

Cute scenes at my house this morning. The pair of them purring their heads off!

Flossie, thinking of you and your DD today (I didn't see your post last night - probably due to wine ). I wish we could all come over and give you a big hug and set the world to rights for you.

Fab pics NC4. ❤️

Oh Flossie. I am sorry to hear what you are going through again. Sending hugs.

NC4, cute cats! Your friend does sound a bit nuts. Mine that I mildly fell out with gas form for it too but in a different way - I think she can just be very needy and intense, and then a bit judgemental if people can't keep up with the pressure. She has taken what I said on board though - she does still ask for help but in a lower key way that I can manage - for now!

Thanks Frouby. DM seems a bit better today. She's 75 soon and is going to retire from her regular commitment to come down fortnightly which is probably wise bur a bit sad for the DC. We will have to go there more I guess, but then there are issues with her dp. Sigh. I hope yours is ok. It's tough when roles start to shift and you are caught between two generations of needs.

Hi everyone

Lots of struggles for many of you :(

Flossie, you're a hero and your daughter has got the best mum ever. Hope the pain resolved.

NC, friendship pain can be very tough. I agree tho that you shouldn't let Odd Friend dictate terms of your engagement with other friends. I'd naturally do that too and I've lost people I found out later I really didn't need to lose. Don't let the biggest arse decide how things will go from here - you deserve a choice too.

Dion - hugs. Your children love you really!

I'm doing more ok with booze than I have for literally years. I allocated myself 3 drinks with friend on Sunday and stuck to it, sealing the bottle after she left with wine still in it. Allocated myself 2 drinks total over 2 consecutive evenings with boyfriend; drank them both the first night so had none the second, last night. Can't believe it. Did the SMART meeting do something for me?!

So: tonight's the biggie. I've allocated myself 3 drinks at this work do. It's going to be long and tiring. I've got to make sure I'm near a big bottle of fizzy water at all times. It's going to be fucking hard. Wish me luck please.

If I do what I plan tonight I'll get the whole week in within target. Usually I drink well over one weeks units in one night at this work event. It feels amazing to think I'm in with a chance of not being a drunken fool.

If I handle this ok I'll be thrilled. Then next biggest challenge will be parents staying in a couple of weeks.

Exercise has slipped off the radar since back to school / work. I'm not beating myself up - telling myself it's easier to pick back up if I manage not to have a / day hangover after a work do!

Thanks for asking Aquaba - there's my plan - think ahead and give myself mental booze vouchers :) not grandstanding tho. It could all still go so wrong

Big love to you all. It's fucking hard for many of you and you're all stars

Afternoon all

flossie hope you and dd have had a better day today, hugs to you both.

senseless you are doing so well, setting limits is easy but sticking to them is so difficult.

Those cats are adorable and I am not really a cat person.

Had a lovely sleep last night, about the best I have had for days and woke up feeling much more organised mentally and motivated. Have got loads done today. Did some work for an hour this morning, which I have been really struggling to get back into. Then been to post office, chemist, vape shop, asda, fed chickens, ordered a new tyre for my car, hoovered and mopped downstairs and done 2 loads of washing and drying. Just about to strip my bed, and might get upstairs hoovered before school run this afternoon.

Feel much better for doing something, everything has been a struggle this last week, hate feeling like that. Nipping me and ds off to buy new trainers after school then got kayaking tonight.

It's all go here.

Blimey Frouby I’m exhausted just reading that. I’ve done fuck all today. I’d allocated it as a sick day (it was hospital this morning) but I actually feel fine.
Friend whose birthday it is took me. She’s thinking of cancelling plans because it’s too tricky. She’s finding it all very annoying, and I don’t blame her. She suggested just turning up at other friend’s house and just having it out with her but I’m not sure.

Good luck tonight Senseless. That’s some serious moderating right there. What’s a SMART meeting? Is it like SMART targets? It sounds like it was worth going anyway. Is it a one-off or a regular thing?

Hope today’s been better for you and DD Flossie. And I know what you mean about sandwich generation Longest. I hope it doesn’t impact too much on your relationship with your mum.

Hugs to all that need. senseless good luck tonight. I’m falling asleep 💤

Back from kayaking and managed to avoid the temptation of a beer. Opened the fridge and looked at them, then poured myself some dilute ginger and said to myself I will have the lager if I still want it when have drunk this.

Of course I didn't.

Frazzled though from kayak training. Ds is a nightmare. Jesus fuck that child will be the death of me.

Theres a river trip at the end of September that he wants to go on. Kayak instructor says he be fine. Spoke to another parent who has boys the same age and he says he probably will be fine, but he goes in with them to keep an eye on them and as we can't follow the river we can't see them until the end.

So I have to either do some more kayak training and go in with him, or trust him 2 to 3 hours to listen and make it down the river.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind splashing around the lake but river kayaking sounds like I might die so not sure what to do.

Thinking of you Senseless. I know what I would be doing in your situation!!

Flossie, how are you?

Longest, I'm sorry about your mum. I'm starting to notice that my parents seem older, having always seemed very young (they had children young so are only 70). That may be because they live a long way away so I only tend to see them intermittently so notice it more. But it scares me slightly.

Frouby, that sounds like a good and productive day. I have had similar, really. And it is Day One again. It hasn't been too bad, though mild hangover might account for that. Day Two is always more difficult. DP is in charming mode, which helps. Plus both DC are being tolerable.

NC4, remind me about the hospital?! I'm glad your friend took you. It sounds as if the strange one is pissing everyone off one way or another...

Thanks. She's taken another dip so worried again but she is adamant she's not going to a Dr till she's home. Have lost the argument for tonight I think but will try again in the morning. She lives 200 miles away so don't really want to send her off on the train without knowing if she has broken a bone. Would have been easier to take her today than when I am supposed to be at work but thank fuck for understanding employers.

That said, she's gone to bed so have managed to stay AF despite opening wine to make risotto. Win.

Senseless, hope things went ok at work do.

NC4- hope things went ok at hospital. Was it to do with dodgy smear? Glad your friend is taking care of you.

Dion, well done on AF and enjoy your evening.